Married... with Children (1987–1997)

Christina Applegate: Kelly Bundy, Self, Ship's Navigator

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Peggy : Kelly, its time we had a little talk. There is a thing men will want you to do when you get married; it's called work.

  Kelly : I'm scared; hold me, Mom.

  Peggy : Once you do it though, you'll never have to do it again and there will come a time when your husband comes home smellin' like beer and wantin' some lovin'; you'll follow that fat butt up the stairs because you'll know that no matter how disgusting the next five minutes may be, it's still better than work.

  Kelly : Thanks, Mom; you're so wise.

  Peggy : Well, you can't sit on a couch twenty hours a day and not learn something.

• Kelly : Bud, I'm gonna kill you and then I'm gonna bury you alive.

• Kelly : Remember, attraction is a three-way street. Or is it a one-way tunnel? Hmm, in any case, I do know it's a four-lane highway, but it takes two to use the car-pool lane. I guess what I'm trying to say is, what the younger generation has learned is that there's nothing for us to watch on CBS, and you've got to be yourself. A man has to love you for you, not some costume. He's gotta love who you are.

• Kelly : [Trying to read]  Bud, what is this word?

  Bud : 'A.'

  Kelly : Oh cool, just like the letter.

• Kelly : [singing]  Eighty-nine bottles of beer on the wall, eighty-nine bottles of beer, if one of those bottles should happen to fall... eighty-ten bottles of beer on the wall.

• Bud : Kelly, go get changed into your sleaziest dress.

  Kelly : Which one?

  Bud : The one dad said was a belt, not a dress.

  Kelly : He says that about ALL my dresses.

  Bud : ...Good point. Wear the pink one, then.

• Kelly : [as Al is pointing the TV-remote against his head]  Daddy, you're pointing it at the wrong way!

  Al : Not if there's a God.

• Kelly : It's humiliating. Totally beneath me. I don't want to do commercials in a bikini. I want to do films where I'm totally naked.

• Kelly : He'll be here. When my daddy says he'll do something he... no, that's my friend Marsha's daddy. But when my daddy puts his mind to something, he... no, that's Carolyn's daddy. Well, my daddy dear, he knows he's still number one, oh girls just want to have fun. No, that's Cyndi Lauper's daddy. Hmm.

  Jackson : What about your daddy?

  Kelly : Obviously, he's not here.

• Kelly : I'm like the Beatles of the 20th Century.

• Al , Peggy , Kelly , Bud : [repeated line in unison to celebrate a victory from a challenge, or an mutual agreement over someone or something]  WHOA BUNDY!

• Peggy Bundy : [repeated line when Al ruins their family's good fortune]  thank your father kids

  Bud Bundy , Kelly Bundy : [simultaneously]  thanks dad