Married... with Children (1987–1997)

Katey Sagal: Peggy Bundy, Princess Scarlett, Self, The Grim Reaper

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Peggy : Did you miss me?

  Al : With every bullet, so far.

• Peggy : I want sex.

  Al : So do I, but I see no reason to drag *you* into it.

• Peggy : Kelly, its time we had a little talk. There is a thing men will want you to do when you get married; it's called work.

  Kelly : I'm scared; hold me, Mom.

  Peggy : Once you do it though, you'll never have to do it again and there will come a time when your husband comes home smellin' like beer and wantin' some lovin'; you'll follow that fat butt up the stairs because you'll know that no matter how disgusting the next five minutes may be, it's still better than work.

  Kelly : Thanks, Mom; you're so wise.

  Peggy : Well, you can't sit on a couch twenty hours a day and not learn something.

• Al : Okay, Peg. I tried to use our ATM card, I stuck it in, it spit it out... and it laughed at me.

  Peggy : Sound familiar? How many times have I told you, Al, you gotta stick it in the right way. And you know, pressing the right buttons wouldn't hurt either.

• Peggy : What would you like?

  Al : A nice juicy steak, medium rare, with little brown potatoes on the right side of the plate, ketchup on the left, where some people waste space with vegetables. And for dessert, a roast beef.

• Al : I hate those complaint boxes they put in at the mall. A woman comes in the shoe store today, so huge she's protected by 'Green Peace', and ask for a size-4 shoe. So I asked her if she wants to eat them there or take them home, and she has the nerve to complain about my performance.

  Peggy : Honey, I complain about youre performance all the time... you don't care. Sometimes you don't even wake up.

  Al : Well unlike sex with you Peg, this is important to me.

• Peggy : And if you had what other men have, I wouldn't need BATTERIES ANYMORE.

  Al : THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED TO MY DIEHARD.

• Peggy : No TV, Al, we're talking.

  Al : You're my wife. I will not talk to you while I have a TV.

• Peggy : Al, how am I supposed to do my job and yours? I tell ya, now I know how Hillary feels.

• Peggy : Sooo... we've certainly learned a lot about each other. We have no opinions on politics, religion, science, starving people, nuclear holocaust or recycling. The only thing we seem to feel strongly about is we both hate that painting behind Jay Leno.

• Al : It's not that I couldn't be happy without you, Peg. It's just that I couldn't be happy. Perhaps that is the true Bundy Legacy.

  Peggy : I thought the true Bundy Legacy was underwear with just an elastic band.

• Peggy : I tried to get Al to fix the driveway a long time ago. But his philosophy is why improve a home you're only going to live in anyway?

• Peggy : A pox on you, Al.

  Al : Yeah; like I'd notice.

• Al , Peggy , Kelly , Bud : [repeated line in unison to celebrate a victory from a challenge, or an mutual agreement over someone or something]  WHOA BUNDY!

• Peggy Bundy : [repeated line when Al ruins their family's good fortune]  thank your father kids

  Bud Bundy , Kelly Bundy : [simultaneously]  thanks dad