User Reviews

Teen Witch is a fantastic example of an 80's teen flick. Growing up in the eighties was a lot of fun because there were films like this!. Yes, they can be predictable at times, and if scrutinised carefully there are some glaring errors. eg. If Kiki broke her leg during play rehearsal, then how come she was fine by the time of the school prom? Not that much time had passed. But who cares. This is a film you should take at face value, the music is boppy, the clothes are typically late eighties and most importantly the characters are likeable. I especially liked her best friend- she was great, and she appeared in what I think is the most memorable part of the film. The "top that" scene. Why don't they make more films like this? They are perfect for the teen market and are, in my opinion better than the likes of Sabrina the teenage witch. At least Teen Witch has some underlying moral messages which we should all remember once in a while. All in all a lightweight but entertaining film.

Louise Miller (Robyn Lively) is not very popular at her high school. Then she learns that she is descended from the witches of Salem and has inherited their powers.

First, what is up with that little brother (Joshua John Miller)? He is a terrifying mutant and it is hard to tell exactly what he is going for with those faces and voices. Oh my. And then there is the Rob Lowe joke, which is even funnier now (2015) than it was then (1989), given Lowe's departure from fame and triumphant return.

Somehow, despite losing millions of dollars at the box office, this has gone on to be a cult classic (allegedly) and there is a musical adaptation. Who is in this cult? But the musical makes sense, as there are a number of song and dance numbers that could be easily adapted. The film is not completely horrible, just somehow a bit off.

YouTube is guilty of bringing me to this movie thanks to the Top That rapping that's been doing the rounds on my suggested videos (and I'm not sure what that says about me and my and my algorithms).

I wasn't really prepared for the bizarre collage of 80'sness that was going to unfold.

The small psychic lady from Poltergeist, sudden moments of turning into a music video with really really bad lyrics, look at my many different, very much of its time, fashion outfits montages and sexual harassment that would lead to several court cases in today's world. (Although I will argue this film is a good case that the, 'female gaze', and objectification of men was indeed around in decades gone).

Everything about this film had me engrossed because it just would not be made today and it's so lame 80's it's hilarious throughout but also fascinatingly cool in a retro way.

I didn't really pay much attention to the story as I was to engrossed in the camp and comedic to care, but the plots is so basic you'll know how the entire movie will roll, at about the four minute mark.

The whole thing is a slice of nostalgia, even for those who weren't around in the 80's.

Want to step into the head of what a late 1980's 13 year old girl dreams being 16 is like, then watch this. Fan of camp, cult or pop culture, watch this. Want to see the guys actual tongue slide in out of the girls mouth in the kiss scene, errrr you can watch this as well. Like a bit of 420, smoke that then watch this.

This is THE CHEESIEST '80s movie you will EVER see and that's why it's so fun to watch. I mean, it's just horrible! Especially that way cool "I like boys!" song. And who can forget Kiki singing "Top that, top that..." All I can say is that if you're bored and this movie comes on the Disney channel, get ready to laugh hysterically and be glad the'80s are over.

I thought Teen Witch was a fun, cute, comedy that is great for kids and teenagers alike. I think it also may have helped my personal rating because it was an 80's film, and I love the 80's. I used to watch it all the time as a kid, but then they stopped playing it, but just about a week ago I saw it on ABC Family, and I was so happy to get to watch it again. The movie also contained fun and upbeat music to listen to throughout the film. Plus you have got to just love their outfits in the movie, they were so colorful and "out there". I love the part in the movie when Louise make the voodoo doll that matches her teacher. I have to admit though Louises younger brother really freaks me out, but hey the movies still a classic!

Teen Witch (1989) was one of those "white elephant" movies that I always found perversely entertaining. I'm like a moth drawn to an open flame whenever this movie is on T.V. I don't know why I like movies like these, but for some strange reason I do. The movie is an exercise in bad acting, gaudy clothes and inane situations. Personally I wouldn't have a movie like this in my collection but whenever it's on I'm there.

A teenage girl (Robin Lively) is about to have her sweet sixteen birthday. One day whilst having bad luck in general, she comes across a palm reader's abode. Seeking calm from the approaching storm she seeks refuge inside. The palm reader is a diminutive woman who reluctantly read the young lady's palm. She's learns from her reading that she's a descendant in the long line of witches just like herself. After learning that she'll be a witch with great powers after her 16th birthday, the woman takes her under her wing. Can she master her powers and make her dreams come true?

Overall the movie isn't all that great. In fact you'll feel kind of silly watching this teenage tripe. The movie has no real message and the supernatural angle is quite lame. When I saw this the first time I hoped something bad would happen to Robin Lively, but it never came to fruition. Oh well, if you really dig 80's movies, this one's for you. Others need not to apply.

Fair.

This movie has no redeeming values. It could possibly be one of the worst movies of all time. Worst acting, worst script, and oh my god, an embarrassment on all the actors resume. At the same time it's freaking irresistible. You have to surrender to the crap fest that this movie is, and then you end up loving it for all it's horriblines... of course the musical numbers are awful, and while watching, I actually feel embarrassed for them... but then I laugh, and then I make fun, ohhh, and what a glorious time you can have watching this awful piece of...

With Teen Witch, you can get your friends together who want to get a dose of the 80s - an elephant-size heroin injection of the 80s, complete with Madonna-ripoff soundtrack and single-pig-tail and spandex - and get quite a good many laughs at its expense. Or sometimes with it, but very rarely. It's a film with the intent to put forth the old and very tired cliché: a girl who can't fit in will do stuff to make herself fit in really big, only to discover, color us shocked, that it's really best to just be yourself, maybe, if you're good enough as is. That's the most of a moral I could get out of it anyway. Oh, and if you're a high school girl, the quarterback is always a Tom Cruise clone, I guess, only a little more buff and less creepy.

But man-o-man, get ready for cheese here. And sometimes some weird surprises in the cast. Such as Shelly Berman (who some might recall as Larry David's father on Curb Your Enthusiasm) in a bad hairpiece as the most incomprehensibly bad and nosy teacher ever who gets his just desserts (or too much thereof) with a mojo-doll mock-up of himself by Louise Miller. Or Marcia Wallace basically doing a start-up version of her Mrs. Krabappel character on the Simpsons only as a drama teacher. Or even Dick Sergeant as the father of the household. Best of all is little old Zelda Rubinstein, the perennial little old lady in movies, who is perfect as the mentor witch to Robin Lively's Louise, giving sage advice and sometimes just doing silly things like making cute guys out of frogs. Yeah, one of those old-lady witches.

So, what to expect? Lots of random musical segments, usually complimented by a boombox or stereo nearby, with songs like "I LIKE BOYS!" in a girl's locker room, or with the really shockingly dated and howlingly funny white-guy rapping on the street that becomes a rap-off with Louise's possessed best friend. Oh, and lots of montages, and cruel jokes, and a very stereotypical mean-little brother of Louise's who may in fact be playing it too gay for a kid of pre-pubescent age. And a final prom scene that reeks of silliness and oddly timed romance. And did I mention the 1980's? Be warned, this is so unabashedly of its time and era and locked-in-John-Hughes mode of thought that you'll wonder if it's still the 21st century by the time it ends. Guilty pleasure.

I can't help it--I love this movie. It's so adorably cliché and predictable that I get a kick out of it every time that I see it. The soundtrack is great 80's pop, and the songs keep playing in my head long after the movie's over. What teen girl hasn't wished she could "magically" put the "snobby cheerleader" in her place and walk away with the popular guy? Louise gets that chance when she inherits her powers on her 16th birthday and uses them to make herself "the most popular girl." Yes, it's a bit silly in spots, but it has fun dance numbers and great 80's hairstyles and clothes. If you love the 80's, you will enjoy this movie!

I had to write a review of this film because it's hilariously brilliantly awful, all in the same degrees and measures. My wife and I while watching this film kept looking at each other dumbfounded, shaking our heads and then laughing our heads off! Some parts are just hilariously cringeworthy...... Like I say, it's so awful it's brilliant!!

A true eighties teen comedy, but not the best film ever made. If you have watched this film then I'm sure the same bits stick in the memory - The 'Top That' Rap-Off, The cheesy (No, really cheesy) 'I like boys' shower-room scene, and my favourite the 'I can't talk to him, look how funky he is' quote, directed at a boy wearing the sort of clothes that make you cringe when you see them in old photos, the sort of kid that wore fluorescent pink socks to school... The scenes involving her brother are hilarious and provide most of the deliberately funny moments.

I think any movie where a month down the line you can still remember sketches and quotes is worth watching and this is certainly one of those. Watch it and I guarantee that you'll laugh when you're supposed to...and even more when you're not.

I give it a cheesetastic 8/10.

This movie was fun to watch, because it shows the many 80s teen movie tropes that we watched in the late 1990s and early 2000s satire movies. When you watch this, you will say, "oh, that's where they got that from!"

This is one of those movies that is bad, but good at it. The genre would be supernatural teen comedy, and the plot can be described as "highschool looser becomes an 80's Cinderella, because she's actually a witch" to save us some time.

This is not a matter of lack of realism ("witch" is in the tittle, is just dumb to ask that), just a matter of a poor script and lousy execution.

The ultra cheesy, badly acted, awfully written moments are hilarious and you end up loving it. Did I mentioned this has some musical numbers? A locker-room packed with uncoordinated cheerleaders that bounce around singing the stupid but extremely catchy "I like boys", and the memorable out of sync rap battle "Top that".

If you like to laugh at bad movies, this one doesn't disappoint. I've seen this 5 times since i came across a VHS copy in the 90's, and it never stops being funny.

I think everyone should see Teen Witch at least once, not because it's a good use of your time, but because it is amazing how ridiculous this movie is. From the corny acting to the slapped-together storyline to the random musical numbers, watching this movie is a jaw-dropping experience. This unintentional comedy should be mocked and mocked often.

I think what makes Teen Witch one of the best 80s "makeover" movie, is that it deals with issues not let on to seriously yet it still touches the heart.

It seems that everyone wants to be "Cinderella." In this story, a teenage girl who feels invisible at her school wants to be the most popular girl at school. After obtaining witch powers, her adventure begins in finding herself.

We all know that this movie is very fiction, but along with all this hocus pocus, comes a certain message. This message being that no matter what you do to change yourself, the real truth and comfort you'll receive comes from your true individual character and that is how you will succeed and will be truly satisfied.

I enjoyed the "musical" parts of the movie, I think they blended it in very well. Lively was very natural in her role and I liked that. Overall I give this movie a 9+, for a movie that isn't meant to be an Oscar worthy one and is made just for pure enjoyment.

"Teen Witch" is a bad movie for sure, but this "Teen Wolf" wannabe, which does a gender and monster swap of the "Teen Wolf story, is wildly charming for its 80s nostalgia value. Seriously, the entire movie looks like it a Jordache Jeans commercial. The story, much like "Teen Wolf," finds a dorky teen, Robyn Lively, who as she comes of age discovers she's a witch (instead of a werewolf). She then uses her newfound powers to find popularity and boys, but with a similar dilemma to that in "Teen Wolf" of whether she should abandon her real friends for the stuck-up in-crowd. If done right, this type of story can be enjoyable (i.e. "Can't Buy Me Love" or "Pretty in Pink" or even "Teen Wolf"), but this film lacks good writing, characters, or humor. I was also confused because there are a couple random musical numbers that seem to come out of nowhere, when the film is not really presented as a musical. Strange. "Teen Witch" features terrible 80s music from bands you've never heard of, fabulous 80s outfits and hair, and lots of recognizable character actors who you don't know their names but would immediately recognize (Dick Sargent, Zelda Rubinstein, Shelley Berman, Marcia Wallace, and Joshua John Miller {the creepy kid from "The River's Edge"}), which pretty much took me on a walk down high school memory lane or at least an exaggerate Southern California version of high school, which was more than enough to keep me entertained.

Never has there been a movie with so many tu-tus. Or simpering. Simper, simper, simper. Is that all "Louise" the snub-nosed unpopular frump can do? "Oh, Braaaad," she simpers mousily. From a frumpy, mousey girl she is magically transformed into a big-haired, make-up spackled Brad-humper by her magical "amulet" which she fondles constantly. No part of this movie is anything like real life. No teenagers acted like this. When Randa was having a party the same night as Louise were we to believe that all the people who were going to Randa's party would've supposedly gone to Louise's party? Why did it matter...the popular people weren't friends with her...that's real life, but not in this movie. Any why did the Millers live in a huge house but made her wear flour sacks and dowdy sweater vests to school? Was it their religion or something, to have to wear ugly sacks as a teen? The music and fashions of the 80's were only this bad in Teen Witch. How can any of you people think that this movie was touching or moving, or that any of the actors, namely Robyn Lively, had any talent at all? How can people think she was "charismatic" or had "quick wit"? She was a forgettable, creepy, pig-nosed talentless twit who kept speaking with this forced sibilant accent and being a real drip. Why did her parents make her dress so frumpily? Why did she suddenly have a closet full of tu-tus and redder hair which was suddenly curly and in a constant side pony-tail? And also the frosted lipstick and heavy blush....we are to believe that THIS is what makes a girl popular? The "I want to be the most popular girl" song is terrible. Some of the words are,"Gonna see some major changes comin' over me, gonna change my hair and makeup, soon you're gonna see." This movie is telling all shallow mousey teenagers what they want to hear...with some bigger hair, heavier make-up, and a closet full of tu-tu's you WILL be the most popular girl and everyone will applaud you when you walk into home-ec. Leave your drippy pal behind and go slobber on your Brad at an abandoned farmhouse, but not before a sleazy game of strip hide-and-seek. The answers to happiness are just a can of aqua-net away. Mousey girls: This should be YOUR GOAL as a teenager. Shallowness counts! Be shallow and remember Zelda Rubenstein loves you.

ALL TIME FAVORITE MOVIE!!!! OK so I usually fall for the cheesy ones, especially those of the wonderful 80s, but I really do love this one. If only it wasn't so dang hard to find!!! No movie rental places have it and the only luck I have found is on EBay, and I am scared of that thing!!!! I think the songs are hilarious and I feel like I can really relate to Louise as a teenager who wants the cute guy!!! It is surprising how many people have actually seen this movie (usually because it is played on TV every once in a while, but still it is amusing. If you haven't seen it, and like the cheesy kinds of movies of the 80s, find it, sit down, and ENJOY! Invite me too!

Okay, more deserving of a 6, but the extra point is awarded because my title is so, so, so true... And there isn't any further episodes to this to make me rue the day I bought the set. Which is more than I can say for two certain TV-shows that started off promising but turned sour, very sour, bitchily sour, the one an all- out man-hating festering hotbed for pointless displays of femi- Nazism. And the kiddie version just made everything male dorky.

But okay, enough of that old rant of mine.

TEEN WITCH, 1989. I never even heard of it. Big fan of SAVANNAH, 1996 - 1997, though, there, Robyn Lively, not so much. During the second season though, her character began coming into its own (well, at one stage, just before the wheels began to fall off) and I Googled her, and discovered she was in a teen movie. Downloaded a snippet of it, it was that f***awful vomit-worthy rap sequence "Top That" which is truly, truly, truly bad, people who read this without knowing what I am talking about have no idea how bad it is, it positively reeks, not of cheese, but of weeks-old cheese that's been inside a dog and...

Anyway, you get the picture. Me too. The sight of a much younger Robyn Lively at the peak of her allure was most inspiring, and I put the movie on my long list of try-to-obtain-these...

The Eighties was a time of innocence. That's all I can say. Some things were a whole lot better then. That is very true. In that locker-room dance sequence, you will notice that the girls are very, very All-American, healthy-looking, fresh and clean, no 'girlz from da hood' and no tattoos (that one there is an ankle bracelet, folks!) and just all round absolutely nice. So that's better! But some of the routines, including everything done by the boys, geez, I doubt it could have been seen as that great even way back then. Now it's positively Gaysville. In fact, I think little white lads jumping about like that positively played to a pederast audience. One thing for girls to cavort about, they're timeless beauties, but these guys, they look freaking (unintentionally) queer. It goes without saying that it's instant career suicide for a male (except that one, of course) to have been even remotely seen on this set.

And that Ritchie boy deserved to be dropped from the cast, he was so unconvincing as a heckler. Perhaps a force to be reckoned with in his own home to his vulnerable sister, but being of a particularly odd look, kind of like an old woman, he'd have been ridiculed mercilessly beyond the garden gate. Very unconvincing performance, no conviction in the eyes. There must have been scores who could have done better, but, of course, they wisely stayed clear.

I liked Robyn, very interesting to see her back in her glory days.

Now, back to "I Like Boys" - wow, golly, gee, yes, I am a guy, and, wow, what a surprise, I didn't even expect! Long legs, long hair, and they jump about, arching their feet, and did I mention the long, long legs? This reviewer is only human, and (pant, pant)...

"I Like Boys" 10 - 10, Robyn Lively 7 and half - 10, "Top That" belongs on a garbage dump, movie itself a lukewarm response, there are so many off-putting key elements... factoring in some zeitgeist, I'd say 4 - 10. The beauty of the female cast saves it, and sways me, of course!