Golfballs! (1999) Poster

(1999)

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3/10
About what you'd expect.
LADodger15 January 2004
Going in you have to expect a weak story, bad acting, some terrible lines, a lot of fake breasts and a very pretty young leading lady who is constantly scantily dressed but always dressed and halfway through the movie she becomes the only one you want to see topl ess, but you never do. This movie delivers on all accounts, but does keep the bad acting and ridiculous lines within reason and the flow of topl ess women is pretty steady. Certainly not the worst movie of this type, but not the best either. It's watchable at best.
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5/10
Mostly for males like us, who have no brain. But it's funny as hell!!!
PatrynXX12 July 1999
And that about sums it up. I give it a 5 out of 10, mostly for ripping off Caddyshack, but other than that, it takes Caddyshack one step further. And pokes fun at it. Just one hilarious movie.
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Not even breasts can save GOLFBALLS.
blackxmas9 June 2001
This could be one of the worst movies I've ever seen. Just because you are making a trashy exploitative ripoff of CADDYSHACK doesn't mean it has to be this bad. I mean, think about it. All you had to do was make a better film than CADDYSHACK 2. I like topless women as much as the next guy, but with my porn mags, my personal porn videos, my local porn video store...well, heck, you gotta come up with some kind of interesting story (or coherence) to support those breast shots if it's gonna be softcore. GOLFBALLS fails on every level:from the farting dog to the Nude Cart Wash back to the non-suspenseful golf game that comprises the finale. The outtakes over the end credits are funnier than the movie itself. I'm not kidding. Avoid like the plague.
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2/10
Caddyshack ripoff
bhubert3 April 2000
If you want to see a funny golf movie, rent Caddyshack again. Other than some soft-core nudity, this is a movie without any redeeming qualities. Rich vs. poor golf clubs, haven't I seen this before? At least Chevy Chase and Rodney Dangerfield had swings that looked like they actually play golf when they're not making movies. The so-called pro's in this movie look like they've never picked up a club in their lives before. The cart wash sequence is a total rip-off of the Bikini Car Wash movies. Don't waste your time or money!
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1/10
Drop the cassette, and back away slowly...
Moligo9 August 1999
I hate saying this because I happen to know one of the actors, but this movie was beyond terrible. Unless you also know some-one in the cast or crew, I suggest you drop the cassette and back away slowly. Your money would be of more use if you were to take the bills and tear them up, and use them as an alternative food source.
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1/10
not up to par
movieman_kev19 August 2005
the owners of a down on it's luck golf course facing a mortgage foreclosure and being taken over by the snobby golf club next door do what comes naturally in these type of movies: get a bevy of girls (with more combined plastic in them than a Tupperware party) to saunter around frequently topless. This of course drives the snobs mad in this lame third-rate version of "Caddyshack 2", which itself was a lame third-rate version of "Caddyshack". So what a have have is an ultra-lame laugh-free sixth-grade version of a classic movie with oodles of fake tits. Sound like fun? Nope I don't think so either. Avoid it like the travesty it is.

My Grade: F

Where i saw it: Starz on Demand (available till August 25th, 2005)
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2/10
This movies all b$%ls
kooleshwar18 December 2005
like every one else out there i rented the movie thinking of 2 things. 1 its rip off of Caddy Shack. 2 the hot chick on the cover and the promise of many more. But alas the movie tanked in the first minute and never recovered. You are better of watching a rerun of mi2 like my friends did. i sat through the movie in hope that it can only get better but i was wrong. the acting if you can call it that was pathetic.No amount of nudity could save this movie. even the nudity has been foolishly displayed. the one or 2 moments that could have been funny are hopelessly lost. If you want nudity get a porn. Avoid At All Costs.
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8/10
Good "Mindless" T&A
hairAMHC28 December 2006
"Golfballs" is really a series of comedy skits rather than a deep and meaningfully scripted story and wasn't produced for an evening of cerebral challenge or serious entertainment….it's about looking at good looking babes running around in a Cart Wash (think car wash for golf carts) all covered in soapy water and almost nothing more! Most of the actors do a credible job, considering the majority, if not all of them, were working for exposure and experience rather than much if any pay.

The cinematography is high grade for a B flick…..which helps to get the film through the weak spots. This reflects the commercial (as in TV commercials) background of the filmmaker, Steve Procko. Music choices match the footage…..another professional touch for a low budget project.

The golf course backgrounds in Florida, help to add a nice back drop….especially, if the film is viewed on a cold winter night! "Golfballs" not only made it to the walls of Blockbuster, but also on late night cable TV in the US and foreign markets.

Lighten up…and laugh a little! Amy Lynn, the female lead, still looks good even after all those years of Howard Stern interviews!
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7/10
One of the better films of this genre
Spazman7 December 1999
No matter what they say. I really liked this film. It should be put in league with classics like Bikini Carwash. The theme of the broken down business has been done to death (Bikini....Hotel, Drive-in, and Bistro, as well as the Erotic house of Wax) but this one does it with style. The use of the diver was brilliant. I just hope the next generation can come up with some new ideas because the Bikini ****** idea mill is running short. They made a film called Bikini Traffic school for pete's sake. What is next...Bikini Mining Camp. Just wait if they get desperate they just might do it. Maybe I should copywrite it. :
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10/10
Entertaining and enjoyable, it made me laugh!
Bo-3010 June 1999
The movie targets male viewers, but that won't stop females from enjoying it. I found it funny and laughed out loud, several times. Good versus evil is always entertaining, and the comic relief by "sonar" was hysterical.
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8/10
very funny....clever writing....exceptional photography
OmegaET17 June 1999
What a pleasure to sit back and enjoy 87 minutes of uninhibited laughter...primarily for males with the abundance of T & A, but still worth watching...whatever your sex! When is Golfballs II coming out
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10/10
Golfing and babes come to ether to make a barrel of laughs!
Rob-2813 January 2001
Golfballs is definitely underrated. When I first saw it, I thought it was going to be some kind of Caddyshack rip off. But it sure wasn't. This might not be the best movie for little kids, or families in general but, it probably would be suitable for kids to watch if it weren't for the little nudity in it. The women are incredibly beautiful in this movie. And that dog is funny (if you see the movie, you'll know what I'm talking about). I recommend that you buy this movie. To sum it all up this movie will probably have you rolling on the ground filled with laughter!
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Moronic is too kind
Sheef21 July 1999
This movie fails on every single level it strives to attain. I just rented this sucker, trying to see if I could find a high-quality T&A flick in the tradition of "Porky's" and "Hardbodies." Disappointment does not begin to measure how I feel about this movie.

First off, the "plot" is too ridiculous for words. The movie starts as a blatant rip-off of "Caddyshack" and quickly proceeds downhill. Not that you rent this movie for plot -- you rent it for hooters and, ideally, a good simulated sex scene or two.

This movie does have some quality D-cups, although a couple of the most promising sets remain covered the entire flick. The highlight of the flick is the willingness of the blonde physics student to reveal her assets at the various points where the plot is going absolutely nowhere. (Incidentally, the one good joke in the flick puts this bimbo on a college campus reading a heavy text called, "The Law of Physics" -- there's just one?)But the flaw is in the execution -- she could have gone bareback so much more! After you've seen a babe take it all off, why have include scenes where she dramatically strips down to her bathing suit? Chests like hers are the reason we rent the movie -- don't scrimp.

The most ludicrous part of this movie is the scheme for saving the bad golf course -- a nude cart wash. Apparently, this golf course just happened to have a spare car wash lying around, perfectly equipped for buxom babes to get the customers into a high lather. I've been to dozens of golf courses -- these don't exist. Why not just make another car wash movie? Why was this set at a golf course? Just groan and bear it.

The most frustrating part of the flick is the lack of "romance." We get to see the babes pose, dance, and flirt, but we don't get to see any of the lucky guys become so. It's a guilty pleasure, but guys rent flicks like this to see average guys bag colossal babes. This movie doesn't let us witness the crowning effort of these movies.

A great sin. Don't rent the movie -- go to your neighborhood hot oil wrestling bar instead.
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10/10
Freaking Oscars BABY!!!!!
aaronmannes12148026 March 2005
Probably the best movie ever created!!! Everyone should go out to where movies are rented. . .or Sold. . .and Rent . . .or Buy this movie. Hot babes. . .Boobbies. . . and Golf Balls that float in the water!!! I have watched this movie three times in the last three days. . .that comes out to one viewing a day. . .and I am not kidding. . the movie gets better! Every time!!! Seriously. . .this I my citizen Cane!! Best movie my ass. . .Golfballs is number ONE!!! OKKK so its saying I need at least ten lines a review to submit this. . .what else can I say. . .Happy Gilmore, sucks, Caddyshack. . worst movie ever compared to this amazing directed and acted in movie.. . So. . .really I'm just stalling here. . but Go rent the movie. . .gooo now. . .leave whatever you are doing and go rent it or Buy It!!!
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If you bet on golf and like T&A, rent this video
kevn575 September 1999
Of course you know who's going to win the bet the moment it's agreed to, but then again that is exactly what this movie is for, mindless fun. Save it for a rainy day when you can't make it to the course yourself, and dream about the day when your favorite club installs a cart wash.
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Pretty lame movie, golf is just an excuse .. for what, I don't know.
TxMike4 November 2012
Warning: Spoilers
Some have said that "Golfballs!" is a rip-off of "Caddy Shack" but I disagree. "Caddy Shack" has good actors and mostly funny situations. This movie has actors who few have heard of, actors who have not been in anything else that you might have seen.

There is one exception, Christy Tummond as Liberty Pennytree . She is pretty and well-constructed, and never takes her clothes off. But really, to be honest, she wasn't much of an actress either.

There is a story here, the fancy country club has a run-down public course next door, and they want to buy it to build condos in South Florida. But the old man who owns it (Liberty Pennytree's granddad) doesn't want to give it up, even though he is mostly just going broke. But in a stroke of genius they decide to invite some local strippers to be caddies, and cart-wash girls, the course gets real busy. It starts to make money.

But the rival country club owner produces a document which he claims will give him rights to acquire the property, and they two owners decide to settle it with a golf match, winner take all. Each man plays, plus the "pro" of his choice, total score wins.

Well everything degenerates from there, and you can pretty well figure out what happens.

Why did I watch this? My theory is, the only way you can really appreciate good movies is to occasionally see a real 'clunker.' This one is a real clunker.
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