Blackadder II (TV Series)

Head (1986)

Rowan Atkinson: Edmund Blackadder

Photos 

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Blackadder : Right Baldrick, let's try again shall we? This is called adding. If I have two beans, and then I add two more beans, what do I have?

  Baldrick : Some beans.

  Blackadder : Yes... and no. Let's try again shall we? I have two beans, then I add two more beans. What does that make?

  Baldrick : A very small casserole.

  Blackadder : Baldrick, the ape creatures of the Indus have mastered this. Now try again. One, two, three, four. So how many are there?

  Baldrick : Three.

  Blackadder : What?

  Baldrick : ...and that one.

  Blackadder : Three and that one. So if I add that one to the three what will I have?

  Baldrick : Oh. Some beans.

  Blackadder : Yes. To you Baldrick, the Renaissance was just something that happened to other people, wasn't it?

• [after seeing Percy's giant ruff] 

  Blackadder : You look like a bird who swallowed a plate Percy.

  Lord Percy Percy : It's the latest fashion actually and as a matter of fact it makes me look rather sexy.

  Blackadder : To another plate swallowing bird perhaps, if it was blind and hadn't had it in months.

• Lord Percy Percy : The fashion today is towards the tiny.

  Blackadder : In that case you have the most fashionable brain in London.

• Blackadder : We live in an age where illness and deformity are commonplace, and yet, Ploppy, you are, without a doubt, the most repulsive individual I have ever met. I would shake your hand, but I fear it would come off.

• Blackadder : I'm off to see the Queen.

  Lord Percy Percy : Oh, should I come too, my lord?

  Blackadder : No, best not. People might think we're friends.

• Blackadder : Pathetic. Absolutely pathetic. Contemptible. Worth a try.

• Lord Percy : Well, yes, My Lord, I mean, I hadn't meant to mention it but I have been wondering all along why you should think Baldrick with a bag on his head is going to be a dead ringer for Lord Farrow, because he's not!

  Blackadder : Look, cretins, the bag is there in order to obscure Baldrick's own features, and many might think, incidentally, that that would be reason enough for him to wear it.