Cheers (TV Series)

Where Have All the Floorboards Gone? (1991)

John Ratzenberger: Cliff Clavin

Quotes 

• Cliff Clavin : Normie.

  Norm Peterson : Yeah?

  Cliff Clavin : Even though I chipped in for the beer with the guys, I also got you a special little gift.

  Norm Peterson : Oh yeah. What's that?

  Cliff Clavin : Well, I did some research on the historical significance of birthdays - uncovered a lot of interesting facts, and, uh... I'm not going to share them with you. Happy birthday, big guy!

• [the gang is talking about Kevin McHale's obsession with bar trivia, Carla who is blaming Norm and Cliff in particular] 

  Carla Tortelli-LeBec : You guys should be ashamed of yourselves. You're like vampires - big butted, do-nothing vampires. And now you're trying to make Kevin one of your recruits. Well, I say it's got to stop. I'm not going to let you screw up his career.

  Sam Malone : Come on. Lighten up, will ya. It's just Kevin's getting a little carried away with bolts, that's all.

  Carla Tortelli-LeBec : Yeah, sure Sammy. Today it's how many bolts are in the floor. Tomorrow, they'll have him onto if the Brady Bunch crashes in the Andes, who's going to eat who first.

  Woody Boyd : They'll probably eat the maid cause she ain't kin.

  Cliff Clavin : Well, you know but if they're smart, they'll ask her first how she should best prepare herself.