South Park (TV Series)

Death (1997)

Trey Parker: Stan Marsh, Eric Cartman, Randy Marsh, Grandpa Marsh, TV Announcer, Phillip, Mr. Garrison, Martin, Newsreader, Man in Crowd, Officer Barbrady, Tom the News Reporter, Death, Great Great Grandpa Marsh, Convict

Photos 

Quotes 

• Grandpa : You can kill me, can't you?

  Eric Cartman : I would never kill somebody. Not unless they pissed me off.

  Grandpa : Oh, is that a fact? Well, let me tell you something porky. Your mom was over here earlier, and I humped her like a little bitch.

  Eric Cartman : What?

  Grandpa : That's right.

  Stan : Grandpa.

  Grandpa : And then, I dug up your great-grandma's skeleton and had my way with her too.

  Eric Cartman : Eh.

  Grandpa : Choice piece of ass your great-grandma.

  Eric Cartman : You piece of crap. I'll kill you.

  Grandpa : That's the spirit, tubby.

• Mr. Garrison : [returning from the bathroom]  I must have caught the flu from Kenny. I've got the green apple splatters.

• Grandpa : How would you like to make a dollar, Billy?

  Stan : My name's not Billy, Grandpa, it's Stan.

  Grandpa : Damn it, Billy! Do you want a dollar or don't you?

  Stan : Sure!

  Grandpa : O.K., you just have to do one thing for me.

  Stan : I'm not gonna kill you, grandpa!

  Grandpa : Why not?

  Stan : 'Cause I'll get in trouble!

  Grandpa : I killed my grandpa when I was your age!

  Stan : Leave me alone, grandpa!

  Grandpa : What has America's youth come to? Kids won't even kill their own grandparents.

• Stan : Mom, can I watch TV in the living room?

  Mrs. Marsh : Ok, but be sure to take Grandpa with you.

  Stan : God damn it!

  Mrs. Marsh : LANGUAGE!

• [while Cartman is watching "Terrance and Phillip"] 

  Liane Cartman : Eric, dear. I just got a call from your friend Kyle's mother. She said this show is naughty, and might make you a pottymouth.

  Eric Cartman : That's a bunch o' crap! Kyle's mom is a dirty Jew!

  Liane Cartman : Oh. Okay, hon.

• Terrance : Hey Phillip, would you like a flower?

  Phillip : I sure would Terrance.

  Terrance : Alrighty then, here's a tulip.

  [He Farts. They both laugh] 

  Terrance : .