Two of a Kind (TV Series)

Breaking Them Up Is Hard to Do (1998)

Christopher Sieber: Kevin Burke

Quotes 

• Kevin Burke : Where are you going?

  Marci : Home. Just met Carrie.

  Kevin Burke : Oh, Carrie's here?

  Marci : Yeah, she's putting the girls to bed!

  Kevin Burke : Did she say something to offend you?

  Marci : What offends me is that you never mentioned her.

  Kevin Burke : Well, there's not much to tell. I needed someone, I took out an ad and Carrie. I mean it was just a coincidence that she's a student of mine.

  Marci : She's your student?

  Kevin Burke : Yeah, and whenever she's too busy with her studies I call Mrs. Baker.

  Marci : Who's Mrs. Baker?

  Kevin Burke : My, my neighbor from across the street. Of course, she 72, so she's not as much fun as Carrie, but she still gets the job done.

  Marci : [Gaping]  Oh! This is the most depraved thing I've ever heard.

  Kevin Burke : I'm sorry, what?

  Marci : Well, it's bad enough you're juggling more than on woman, but one of your students and a senior citizen it like... Oh, oh, oh! I hope you choke on that dinner, which by the way, I did not make.

  [goes to leave] 

  Kevin Burke : What are you talking about? Carrie is the girls' babysitter.

  Marci : She's a babysitter? Your daughter told me she was one of your girlfriends.

  Kevin Burke : Which daughter?

  Marci : I don't know. The one who smokes.

  Kevin Burke : [Looking very confused]  Ok, apparantly my daughters are up to something. I have a feeling it's about me dating. Why don't you stay here? Uh, I'll be right back.

  Marci : I made part of it.

• Kevin Burke : Where are you going?

  Marci : Home, just met Carrie.

  Kevin Burke : Oh, Carrie's here?

  Marci : Yeah, she's putting the girls to bed!

  Kevin Burke : Did she say something to offend you?

  Marci : What offends me is that you never mentioned her.

  Kevin Burke : Well, there's not much to tell. I needed someone, Carrie was there, so I hired her. I mean it's just a coincidence that she's a student of mine.

  Marci : She's your student?

  Marci : Yeah, and whenever she's busy with her studies, I call Mrs. Baker.

  Marci : Who's Mrs. Baker?

  Marci : My - My neighbor. Of course she's 72, so she's not as fun as Carrie but she still gets the job done.

  Marci : [Gaping]  Oh, this is the most depraved thing I ever heard!

  Kevin Burke : I'm sorry, what?

  Marci : Well, it's bad enough that you're juggling more than one woman, but one of your students and a senior citizen. It's like uh, uh, uh! I hope you choke on that dinner, which by the way I did not make.

  Kevin Burke : What are you talking about? Carrie's the girls' babysittter.

  Marci : She's their babysitter? You're daughter told me she was one of your girlfriends.

  Kevin Burke : Which daughter?

  Marci : I don't know, the one that smokes.

  Kevin Burke : [Looking confused]  Ok, apparantly my daughters are up to something. I have a feeling it's about me dating. Here, why don't sit down.

  [Marci sits on the couch] 

  Kevin Burke : Uh, I'll be right back.

  Marci : I made part of it.

• Carrie : Oh, hi, you just missed Marci.

  Ashley Burke : Yeah, she left in kind of a hurry.

  Kevin Burke : Actually, she's still downstairs.

  Ashley Burke : Uh-oh.

  Mary-Kate Burke : I think I'm catching what Ashley's got.

  Carrie : What's going on?

  Kevin Burke : Well, first of all, Ashley's not sick and these two told Marci that you were my girlfriend.

  Carrie : What? Why would you do that?

  Ashley Burke : Well, we were trying to break Dad and Marci up.

  Mary-Kate Burke : Yeah, Carrie, we don't want to lose you.

  Kevin Burke : Why would you lose Carrie?

  Mary-Kate Burke : Because she said if things kept with between you and Marci, she'd be out of a job.

  Carrie : Well, that was a joke. I didn't mean that.

  Ashley Burke : Well, we thought you did and we liked the way things are.

  Mary-Kate Burke : Yeah, you're the best babysitter we've ever had.

  Ashley Burke : You're like family.

  Carrie : So you would lie to that poor woman just to keep me around? That is so sweet.

  [sobers after Kevin gives her a look] 

  Carrie : I mean it's wrong. Of course. But it's still very sweet. I ...

  Kevin Burke : Carrie?

  Carrie : Oh, why don't I give you guys some privacy. Oh!