The Simpsons (TV Series)

Two Bad Neighbors (1996)

Tress MacNeille: Mrs. Glick, Barbara Bush

Quotes 

• Homer : [in an exaggerated tone]  Yoo-hoo.!

  George Bush : Who is it?

  Homer : [in an exaggerated tone]  It's your sons, George Bush, Jr. and Jeb Bush. Come outside, Dad.

  George Bush : Oh, good.

  [yells] 

  George Bush : Bar! The boys are in the front yard. They'll help me think of a plan to get those Simpsons.

  Barbara Bush : Oh, George! Is that all you ever think about? The boys probably just want a letter of recommendation.

  [George Bush steps outside the front door as the cardboard cutouts roll upwards] 

  George Bush : Boys? Where are you going?

  Homer : [shouts to Bart as he is on the roof]  Okay, son. Give him the glue!

  [Bart squeezes glue onto George's head from the roof and Homer slaps a rainbow afro wig on and runs away] 

• [President Bush has put up a poster on the front of the house with crudely drawn pictures of Homer and Bart on it. It reads 'Two Bad Neighbors'] 

  Dr. Julius Hibbert : [confused]  I- I don't understand. Are you saying you and Barbara are bad neighbors?

  George Bush : [annoyed]  No! That's not Bar and me. It's them.

  [Bush points at the Simpsons' house] 

  Ned Flanders : Who? Maude and me?

  George Bush : No. The man and his boy. You know, the- the boy is named Bart. I don't know the name of the man.

  [calls in to his wife, Barbara] 

  George Bush : Bar! What's the name of the man?

  Barbara Bush : [calling out to George]  I'm not getting involved, George.

  George Bush : Look, just never mind. I thought the banner was pretty straightforward, but I guess I'll just take it down.

• [Bart is rummaging through the Bush's ktchen drawers] 

  Bart : Hey, where's your candy?

  George Bush : We don't have any. Now go away!

  Barbara Bush : George! Older people don't eat much candy, Bart, but I could bake you some cookies if you like.

  George Bush : [under his breath]  Can't remember the last time she made cookies for me.

  Barbara Bush : What's that?

  George Bush : Oh, nothing.

• Maude Flanders : What brings you to Springfield?

  Barbara Bush : Well, George and I just wanted to be private citizens again, go where nobody cared about politics. So we found the town with the lowest voter turnout in America.

  George Bush : Just happy to be here among good, average people with no particular hopes or dreams.

  Rod Flanders : But, Mr. President, we're not all good people.

  Todd Flanders : There's one little boy you should watch out for. He's a bad, bad little boy.

  Ned Flanders : [laughing nervously]  Now, Todd, don't scare the president.

  [as if on cue, they see Bart skateboard past] 

• Barbara Bush : George! This is the last straw. You apologize to Homer right now!

  George Bush : But Bar, we can't show any weakness in front of the Russians.

  Barbara Bush : [reproachful]  George...

  George Bush : Yes, dear.

• Bart : Hey, what's this?

  George Bush : My electric card shuffler. Don't go near the...

  [Bart sends cards flying everywhere] 

  George Bush : Now, I told you. Oh... those cards were from Air Force One, and they only give you so many packs.

  Barbara Bush : Oh, George, boys will be boys. Bart's just being friendly. Why don't you get off that sofa and show Bart your photos?

  George Bush : Oh, but he'll gunk 'em all up. His hands are probably covered with mud and cookies.

  [Bart shows him his clean hands] 

  George Bush : Well... probably stole a napkin.

• Ned Flanders : [providing running commentary on the rummage sale]  Well, sir, looks like we got some nice items here at table Glick. Like this; what the heckaroonie is this, Mrs. Glick?

  Mrs. Glick : [taking his microphone]  It is a candy dish, Ned. $90.

  Ned Flanders : Uh-huh. Well, I, uh... I guess you could put a lot of nice things in there.

  Mrs. Glick : No! Just candy, Ned. $90.

  Ned Flanders : [leaving, he sees a realtor putting a "sold" sign on the house across the street]  Well, looks like somebody sold something today.

• Barbara Bush : I really feel awful about your lawn, Marge. George can be so stubborn when he thinks he's right.

  Marge : Well, Homer, too. They're so much alike.

  Barbara Bush : Too bad they got off on the wrong foot. It's just like the Noriega thing. Now, he and George are the best of friends.