Herman (2019) Poster

(I) (2019)

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3/10
Herman: Erm, no
Platypuschow12 April 2023
Plot

A daytime horror about the earthly forces around us that impact our lives but we aren't aware of - or choose to ignore. The story concerns a young boy who discovers a strange figurine. Its mysterious effect on his family suggests it could be a harbinger of larger consequence.

Cast

Written and directed by the same guy who produced 2018's Kin

Verdict

Standing at around the 15 minute mark Herman is a US short horror film that embraces several of horrors biggest tropes, specifically the ones that revolve around children.

It tells the story of Evan a 10 year old boy? Sorry when it comes to kids I'm clueless, anything between the white gravy and an adult is just an annoyance in my eyes. Anyway this particular crotch goblin is on a trip to the beach with his family when he comes across a lobster man action figure. Kind of like the old He-man stuff in size and design, just higher quality.

No seriously do you remember those things? How a big blob of elastic sat in their torso stretched out to hold the legs into place? Horrible things.

Anyway what always happens in movies when kids inexplicably find a mysterious toy? Oh yeah, they get weird, real weird. So Evan gets weird, strange things happen around him, he obsesses over his new lobster friend and all attempts by the parents at getting rid of it fail.

If you're expecting Puppet Master (1989) this isn't it, it goes for a more visceral direction like Annabelle (2014) and other creepy doll movies except this is mostly in the light and didn't cost $200 million dollars to make.

The trouble is very little happens, well that and the fact that a wretched little tyke is the lead. Tense? No. Scary? Also No. Enjoyable? That's a trio of no's right there.

There are many great horror shorts out there and there are plenty of dodgy toy films, skip over this one.

The Breakdown + The toy looks neato, I want one!

  • Nothing happens
  • Very cliched
  • Child lead


Rants

What I learned from Herman All toys are evil and should be avoided, just give your kid a broom or something. Lil gits should earn that free room and board anyway.

Even blatantly rich people still use old 1980's boomboxes because duh.

Action figures are still kind of cool and I shouldn't be embarrassed if I want to collect them.

Clawful from the He-Man universe is so going to sue this movie.
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a toy
Kirpianuscus10 August 2020
The idea ad premises are ot exactly new. And that is one of good poits of film because the costruction of story and the young actors performance are the pillars of a short horror reminding Lovecraft but, in same measure, being inspired chain of references to classics. A boy on the beach. A bizarre toy. And the chain of events.
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