User Reviews

A house becomes haunted after a woman died in the pool while confronting her cheating husband in the first 5 min of the movie. Her ghost then lashes out at anybody who makes the mistake of getting near any source of water on the property. Simple enough premise with some potential for a decent scare movie...however, the story is ruined by the fact that EVERYTHING else in this movie is HORRIBLE! Ponderous pacing, poor direction, an abrupt head-scratcher of an ending, bad acting, and some of the worst dialogue I have ever heard in a movie! Seriously, the dialogue is so bad I have to think this movie was written by Martians who had no idea how humans are supposed to act! AVOID AT ALL COSTS!

How do these cheap-ass, compost pile movies keep getting made? The acting is atrocious, the plot is idiotic, and the overall production is irredeemably horrible.

The premise is that some high-roller fat cat is caught in a secual act with another woman by his wife. She takes a butcher knife and goes after the unfaithful hubby and his illicit paramour, but ends up getting killed herself in the struggle. High-Roller Fat Cat wants to report the incident to the police as a case of self-defense, but his bimbo side piece talks him into cutting up dead wife's body and burning it in a fire pit. And oh, by the way, wifey was there to tell High-Roller Fat-Cat that she's pregnant with their first child.

Then we have Darryl, High-Roller Fat-Cat's gardener who knew about the affair, and who wanders about the property talking to himself while performing Arnold Schwarzenegger imitations.

Then it turns out that High-Roller Fat-Cat had an $11,000,000.00 life insurance policy on his wife that he had no idea existed, and the insurance company is ready to pay out the cash lickety-split, no questions asked. Because yeah, unh hunh, that's what insurance companies do when someone disappears suddenly. Yep. You betcha.

High-Roller Fat-Cat celebrates by having sex in his pool with his girlfriend. She goes underwater to do a bit of "snorkeling", but is drowned instead by some mysterious force. Then, this same mysterious force bites off High-Roller Fat-Cat's junk and spits it out to sink to the bottom of the pool.

Then along comes Darryl. He gets into the pool. But wait. Where's High-Roller Fat-Cat's body? Where is his discarded "junk"? Where is the drowned girlfriend's body? No matter. While Darryl is in the pool, the mysterious force that bit off High-Roller Fat-Cat's genitals starts to orally gratify Darryl, but he passes out and somehow escapes.

Later that night, Darryl's girlfriend shows yp and jumps in the pool, and the mysterious force drowns her. Where'd her body go? Details! We can't be bothered with details here! We're making a movie!

The police question Darryl, who don't know nothin' 'bout knowin' nothin'!

Then a new family moves into the now dead High-Roller Fat-Cat's house. So, we have the dead, pregnant wife whose body was never found but the insurance company paid out on her death anyway, we have the dead High-Roller Fat-Cat, we have the dead High-Roller Fat-Cat's girlfriend, we have Darryl's dead girlfriend, all tied to the same property, with an ongoing police investigation, and a new family just moved right on in. Oh, and on their first day in their new house, their small daughter falls into the pool and nearly drowns.

Had enough? I did. I turned this piece of utter garbage off after that.

I gave this movie a 5 because it kept me laughing. The plot was all over the place, the tone was never really set, and people disappeared for what seemed like 15 minutes at a time.

When the original owner left with his assistant for vacation, I thought he would be back later. I guess that's all the money they were willing to pay him. Insert new owner: a black couple with a white daughter. At first you think maybe she's adopted, but then she isn't seen for almost 35 minutes and he's talking about putting a baby in his wife, so you think the white girl was just there for no reason. Later she shows up again, and at the end of the movie you find oh she's adopted. Very weird placement of explanations.

Then you have the caretaker. I liked him. Why they decided to make him an old slave-esque boo radley black man, I don't understand. His southern personality didn't fit with the Arizona atmosphere. Neither did the ny style detective that was always at the house for no reason. Why the owner never said "lawyer" when being interrogated each time is beyond me, considering he seemed educated and well off.

Speaking of the owner, I get he was a serial cheater like the original owner, but throwing in sleeping with the doctor guy was uncalled for and didn't add to the story. Then there was the mother in law. She was implying her granddaughter was gifted, but how? Her daughter was adopted, and they adopted their daughter, so how would her gifts be passed down?!

If you want a laugh while you're doing something else, this isn't bad in the background. But don't go into this movie expecting any form of cohesive sense.

The film takes place in Arizona and stars a bunch of women from silicon valley. Frank Johnson is caught in the middle of the act by his wife who attacks the other woman with a knife. Frank jumps up to save her and they both end up in the pool with his wife somehow dead. Since it was an accident, They decide to burn the body in the burn pit and while there Frank kills the woman he was having the affair with and burns her body too. For some reason he tosses the ashes into his tops optional swimming pool, which is how the "water" got haunted. Their spirits live in the pool and kill bad people while protecting the innocent and giving Darryl the groundskeeper an orgasm, but just once. The Yates family moves into the house following a sizeable body count. Mrs Yates (Toni L. Mitchell ) is a black woman who was adopted by a white woman who adopts a white child.

The movie could have been a direct to DVD mid 80's type of film. I loved the plot but the acting was horrible. Calion Maston had some laughably bad scenes especially following Missy's death (not really a spoiler, you would have figured it out.) On the plus side Darryl does some good impressions if you pay attention. Phillip Penza makes Rene Perez quality films.

Guide: F-word. Sex. Nudity.