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Over the Garden Wall (2014)
A dreamlike Autumn fable!
Imagine, if you will, a far off land. A land where all your childhood fears and joys come to glorious fruition. A land of mist and trees, cottages and shadows. A land that looks and feels like Tim Burton consumed the brains of Hayao Miyazaki, Mike Mignola and Dante Alighieri, then threw them into a stewpot being stirred by Neil Gaiman, Guillermo Del Toro and the artist John Constable. This land, dear readers, is The Unknown. This is a beautiful, heartfelt, hilarious, tragic, timeless, surreal woodcut of a show, and one you'd be a fool to miss out on.
The main plot surrounds two brothers, the embittered, lovelorn, paranoid Wirt (Elijah Wood, delivering the perfect degree of sustained panic) and the happy-go-lucky, innocent Greg (Collin Dean) who find themselves lost in a shadowy forest land called The Unknown, filled with pagan rituals, singing frogs and witches. Along the way, they meet a mysterious Woodsman (Christopher Lloyd, stealing the show as always) and a nihilistic bluebird, Beatrice (Melanie Lynskey) and try to get back home without... erm... meeting a sticky fate.
The main strength of the show, of course, is the animation. The animation gorgeously evokes 200+ years of American history, with many of the characters in The Unknown residing in 1800s style settlements. The forests, backgrounds and sunsets are incredibly beautiful, and there's a timeless hand-drawn style to it. The sheer autumnal beauty expressed it is... impossible to describe, actually, unless you've seen it for yourself. Combined with a barnstormer of a soundtrack by The Blasting Company, it's enough to make a grown man cry.
The other greatest thing about it is that it's the rare animation that provides full, coherent character arcs over the whole series, rather than the usual character-screws-up-and-spends-an-entire-episode-learning-a-valuable-lesson format. The characterisation is world class, with practically no other cartoon, with the exception of Hilda, coming close. Wirt's introverted personality gradually gives way to grim determination and bravery as the series goes on. Greg, who can largely be misinterpreted as pure comic relief, has extreme emotional importance, and his love for his brother can be truly awe-inspiring. Bitter bluebird Beatrice slowly learns to hate the brothers, Wirt in particular, less. And as for the Woodsman... well, let's just say you've probably never seen anything like the Woodsman's journey of grief and near-madness, certainly not in a cartoon.
Another effective aspect of the show is that, despite all the purgatorial imagery and emotional gut punches, it's just really damn funny! Greg provides a constant supply of gags, not least his attempts to name his pet frog (Jack Jones), and it's a hard heart that doesn't laugh at his childish escapades. Wirt, meanwhile, offers a much more subtle sense of humour to the show. His teenage anxiety is hilariously relatable, as is his perceived maturity which breaks apart in the presence of danger. There's a series of ingenious subversions of expectation throughout, not least the fact that talking bird Beatrice, a usual cheerful fairytale archetype, is the most cynical, violent character in it. There are utterly brilliant set pieces, like a particularly glorious musical number in Episode 3, and some characters that only appear once but leave an enormous impression, like haunted tea baron Quincy Endicott (a delightfully unhinged John Cleese).
To conclude, this show is a piece of art, but like the best art it's beautiful, and yet extremely hard to explain. The only thing you can really do is take a trip into the Unknown yourself...
Doom Eternal (2020)
Rip-and-Tearrific!
Let me start by saying: this is the best first person shooter ever, in my opinion. It is a grimy, wonderfully designed, death metal screaming blood-flavoured sherbet bomb. It is a game about confronting all the evil that Hell can conjure. A game about facing the combined fear of the dark which all mankind know... and then setting it on fire, blasting it with a sawn-off shotgun and ripping it's head out with the spinal cord attached. That is, in a nutshell, one of the greatest strengths of Doom Eternal. It takes material that could come across as super edgy and dark, and injects a sense of fun. The whole thing comes across that the makers of the game asked a 12-year-old what would be cool, and said yes to every proposal. And it. Is. Glorious! Knights, ghosts, demons of every shape and size, giant robots, huge tentacled chthonic nightmare deities, alien races, and so much more is crammed into the story, like meat into an overly huge (and extremely bloody) steak sandwich.
The overall plot is this: Every demon from every nook and cranny of Hell are essentially swarming over Earth like brutal ants, led by celestial super-being The Khan Maykr, who is trying to save her own dimension through putting forward Earth as a sort of human sacrifice. The only thing standing in their way is the Doomslayer, a cross between Father Merrin and a Panzer Tank. The only way to stop them? Turn every demon in Hell into a fine red mist.
The actual gameplay, as players are thrust into the unstoppable jackboots of the Doomslayer, effortlessly straddles the line between immensely difficult and satisfying. Players are certainly thrust into the deep end, and if unfamiliar with the 2016 game's mechanics will die a lot, but are provided with so many weapons that it doesn't really matter. The violence is breathtaking, with a new feature which progressively damages the demons as you shoot them, and means that some stronger demons, by the time you Glory Kill them, resemble a wretched mass of beef jerky. Oh yes, and the Glory Kills are extraordinary well done and often sickening and satisfying in equal measures. The new weapons and mechanics , such as the Blood Punch, the Flamethrower, the Ice Bomb, the Ballista, the Meathook (Which I can't tell you about without eating half your fun), the Doom-Blades and the Crucible Sword, are fantastic.
The rendering of the backgrounds and gaming environments are phenomenal, and so well varied; one minute you're traversing an industrial death trap in the Arctic, the next you're crawling through the tentacle ridden guts of a dead, enormous demon. The heavy metal music, by Mick Gordon, perfectly compliments the bloodshed, and the Boss Fights find creative ways to bypass the usual shoot-it-until-it-dies gameplay, especially the last one.
It's not all perfect: the long stretches of puzzle platforming do get old quickly, some enemies are frustrating without being fun, and a returning Dr. Samuel Hayden is a literal exposition machine.
But damn, if it isn't a whole lot of fun.
Hilda (2018)
Comfort TV at its finest!
A lot of people, when the show first came out, were apparently calling it "The new Gravity Falls," Having watched the first season and most of the second season, I can safely say that while it shares some similarities (mystery, nostalgia, glowing-eyed antagonists that nearly give you a heart attack) the biggest one is that they're both, in my opinion, among the finest cartoons ever produced, and are on my personal Mount Rushmore of animated series made "For Kids," (in terms of animated series in general, Rick And Morty disrupts the hierarchy somewhat) But anyway, what am I saying? This isn't a review of these other shows. This is a review of Hilda.
The main meat of the plot centres on the titular protagonist (Bella Ramsey), an adventurous blue-haired child living in a vast, magical environment known as The Wilderness with her mum, Johanna (Daisy Haggard, who's brilliant) and pet deer fox Twig. That is, until certain circumstances force them to move to the vast city of Trolberg, where they meet with strange creatures, human and otherwise.
First of all, the animation. Ohhh the animation. It is absolutely beautiful, with its colourful, newspaper style colours and wonderfully stylised environments-the city of Trolberg in particular is rendered in a fabulous, Wes Anderson style art-deco- and fittingly, for a show about Scandinavian folklore, is evocative of pure Hygge, meaning a mood of coziness and contentment. Settings such as the Trolberg Library and a ghost ship are extremely fluid and detailed. Each shot is a potential masterpiece, with the background artists being the true stars of the show. The illumination and creatures of the scenes set in the Wilderness are gorgeous art.
Now, the animation alone would be enough to earn a glowing review, but the character development is spot on as well. Hilda herself is a fascinating character, the kind Terry Pratchett might have created. She shows great bravery, and compassion and kindness for others, but can also be very belligerent and a bit of a jerk on occasions. She is, in a word, human. The relationship with her Mum is also extraordinarily well done and her best friends, the fastidious, hardworking Frida (Ameerah Falzon-Ojo, also brilliant) who's willing to go on adventures if they can help her earn Sparrow Scout badges, and loyal yet timid David (Oliver Nelson) who's not particularly adventurous, and is usually fairly traumatised by the events, are also very nuanced as characters. It shows an immense emotional core for a kid's show, with the saddest episodes often being the best (a time travelling episode of Season 2 being especially likely to hit you in the feels), and Hilda's sad, subtle moments with her mum are as well handled, if not better, than most live action shows.
There are also some great supporting characters, such as paperwork-obsessed elf Alfur (Ramsus Hardiker) and forest spirit The Wood Man (Ako Mitchell, stealing the show in every scene he's in) who's prone to dishing out pithy remarks at every opportunity, and is the closest thing the show has to an anti-hero. Season 2 even has Andy Actual Serkis as a Yuletide elf.
There's also an inescapable air of mystery and nostalgia throughout, with Episode Six of season one in particular having a distinct whiff of Stranger Things. The underlying season mystery of The Black Hound (which, I guarantee will not end up how you expect) adds sinister undertones, as does the constant threat of Trolls outside the city walls. Many of the characters are also mysterious, notable examples being pompous Safety Patrol officer Erik Ahlberg (John Hopkins, delivering glorious, industrial levels of ham) and the enigmatic, seemingly all-knowing Librarian (Kaisa Hammarlund) who may or may not be a witch. Heck, even a background character who's in one scene in season one has mysterious skeletons in their closet-you'll probably know when you see them. It's also surprisingly smart, finding ways to incorporate themes of industrialisation, gentrification, fear and nostalgia (Hilda's reminiscence of her past life in the wilderness, and unwillingness to move with the times deliver Cowboy Bebop levels of longing and loss) while still making the whole thing palatable for a younger audience.
So in conclusion, in this world of sumptuous, 13-hour binge feasts, enjoy the televisual equivalent of a hot chocolate by the fire on a cold winter's night: comfortable, light weight, just like grandma used to make it. Savour it. Watch it. Enjoy it.
Gravity Falls (2012)
Creative, hilarious and deeply wholesome.
First of all, if you haven't seen this show, you're missing one of the most surreal, iconoclastic and funny cartoons of the past decade! My first advice to anyone reading this would be: watch it, and enjoy. However, maybe you need more convincing. Allow me, for this show is one of, not only the best "cartoons," ever, in my opinion, but also one of the best shows to ever come out of the TV industry. It is also one of the shows guaranteed to, if nothing else, put a smile on the most jaded of faces, or bring a nostalgic tear to the most disillusioned of eyes.
The meat of the plot centres on two chalk-and-cheese siblings, the logical, socially awkward Dipper (Jason Ritter) and the fun-loving, goofy Mabel (Kristen Schaal, who's terrific) visiting their great uncle (or 'Grunkle') Stan (show creator Alex Hirsch, who also voices multiple supporting characters), an elderly con-artist who runs a dilapidated tourist trap known as the Mystery Shack, in the small town of Gravity Falls, Oregon. So far, so normal summer vacation. Until, that is, Dipper finds a strange journal in the woods which sets off a spiral of surreal mayhem that makes Stranger Things look like Mundane Things by comparison.
One key reason that this is such a great show is the depth of the humour in the show, which points fun at almost everything, almost to the extent of satire, from folk music festivals, the whole concept of 'manliness' and role playing games to Street Fighter and boy bands. It even pokes fun at itself through the TV show "Duck-tective" which would seem to be the in-universe version of the show itself. It's also endlessly quotable, and has a lot of funny visual gags and background detail (three words: fists for nipples). This is helped by the absolute wealth of guest stars, such as Mark Hamill as a mysterious underground dweller, Peter Serafonowitz as a cult leader, John Oliver as Sherlock Holmes (yeah you read that right) and J. K. Simmons as someone who I can't talk about without ruining most of Season 2 for you.
Also, the animation style is glorious, effortlessly combining nature and old-school Americana. From old school roadside diners to beautiful pine forests and malls, and sleazy motels, this show's animation in most of its episodes is, like Stranger Things, likely to hit you right in the nostalgia. The animation also renders the more fantastical elements brilliantly- a trip into Grunkle Stan's mind in particular is like Inception, but somehow even more insane- which parallels the mix of the fantastical and the down-to-earth found throughout.
Another one of it's unique selling points is the mystery element of the show, such as key ominous use of a certain symbol (you'll know when you see it) and the overarching Season 2 mystery of who wrote Dipper's mysterious journal. Every episode also ends with a sentence written in code. Cannily, the show never reveals too much, which allows viewers to make their own fan theories. Nothing is ever as it seems, including characters, such as Old Man Mcguckett (Alex Hirsch) a local hillbilly with a talent for building robots and Li'l Gideon(Thurop Van Orman), an adorable child psychic whose outward cuteness gives way to a genuinely disturbing vicious streak. Some parts of this show are also more sick, deranged and downright twisted than most cartoons, or shows in general, have ever been allowed to show, from reality warping interdimensional dark God and utter jerk Bill Cipher (Also Hirsch) who does some of the worst things ever while still eating the scenery in every episode he's in, to mysterious cult The Blind Eye Society. What's that? You haven't heard of them? No, of course you haven't...
The character development in the show is amazing as well. Grunkle Stan for instance goes from comic relief to... well, let's just say you probably haven't seen anything like Stan's arc, secondary characters man-child handyman Soos (Hirsch again) and lumberjack slacker teen Wendy (Linda Cardelini of Scooby Doo fame) gradually get more fleshed out from comedic moron and permanently sanguine party maniac respectively as we learn more about them, and Dipper and Mabel both undergo so many changes over the course of the 2 seasons that it's hard to document in one review.
And yet... for all it's zany humour and weird monsters, one of the best things about this show is the slight underlayer of sadness, from Dipper's futile attempts to date Wendy to Mabel coming to terms with growing up, a hard thing to do when you have a pet pig and as much childish enthusiasm as her. Most of the episodes are, at their core, about making personal sacrifices and doing the right thing. Also, the final episode brought tears to my eyes.
In conclusion, take a journey down this nostalgic, demented, beautiful rabbit hole. It's out there, somewhere in the woods. Waiting.
Highlander (1986)
The apex of 80s cheese-and I loved it!
If you only see one fantasy neon noir with the guy who did voice of Mr Krabs playing an immortal berserker, Queen on the soundtrack, tons of neon and several decapitations, make it this one. Highlander, despite maybe some of the special effects not aging well, and Sean Connery (who's brilliant here) having a Shpanishh accent, is a fantastically lurid yet at the same time dark delight. The story is basically just a bunch of Immortals trying to decapitate each other over various centuries in order to gain a fabled "Prize", specifically Connor MacLeod (Christopher Lambert, delivering various degrees of intensity) a.k.a Russel Nash, in disguise as an antique dealer, and his adversary The Kurgan (Clancy Brown, the aforementioned voice of Mr Krabs in Spongebob). Clancy delivers a truly juicy villain performance here, whether it's cruising down a sidewalk Mad Max style at about 70 miles per hour, licking a priest's hand in a church or periodically screeching "THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE!" and decapitating someone. It also delivers a great soundtrack, lots of romance and gravitas and great fight scenes. It also has a bit where someone does backflips for no reason. Highly recommended.
Miss Fisher and the Crypt of Tears (2020)
Sorry, not even enjoyably bad
This film- I wanna like it. I like pulpy adventure stuff. I love Indiana Jones. So it follows that I should like this, right? Er...
I do get that it's trying to be an affectionate tribute to Mr. Jones, but it feels like a soulless rip off (oh look! A persuit on rooftops in a vaguely Middle Eastern market! Oh look! An action scene on a train!) I also get that it was partly crowd-funded, and a TV movie, which explains to some extent (but not a big enough extent) the rubbish production values. Also, the many baffling coincidences and plot holes peppered throughout. For instance, the main characters need to find out the dates of solar eclipses. Well, good job a nearby professor has a Handy Solar Eclipsy Predicty Book (not a technical term) RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM. Also, how did a plane that goes 120 miles an hour get to Jerusalem, which, last I checked, was over 3000 miles away, in a day? And why is there a magic teleporting dude in a raincoat and hat-a potentially cool prospect- that is never explained, let alone mentioned ever again? I could go on, but I don't want to. Another problem is the fact that English characters are so obviously Australian, like the Chief of Police of London, who's about as English as a carrot is the Burj Khalifa. Also the acting is very rubbish (there's a quicksand scene that's so bad you'll laugh your spleen out-maybe), and it's very very rushed, so feels too much like a TL;DR Indy. Maybe if they'd acted better. Maybe if they'd have strung out the plot over 2 or 3 episodes, Sherlock style. Maybe if they'd have explained that magic teleporting dude in a raincoat and hat. Maybe if they'd have done all these things, it would be passable. But they didn't. So it isn't. Period.
Ghost Rider (2007)
Cheesy Rider
Ghost Rider is simultaneously fantastic and terrible. Yes, the script is fairly bad, and some of the acting is a little bit rubbish, but can you really argue with a demonic bounty hunter with motorbike leather and a flaming head? Not really. Sadly though, one of the film's major flaws, in my opinion, is there isn't enough actual Ghost Riding! But we do get a cowboy Ghost Rider, which is just glorious, and they were fools not to give him his own spin off. Fools, I tell ya! Anyway, the plot, such as it is,concerns a motorbike stuntman (Nicolas Cage) who makes a deal with the devil Mephistopheles (Peter Fonda, who's clearly relishing the role), and becomes the aforementioned flame-headed demonic bounty hunter, while trying to get back together with his old girlfriend (Eva Mendes, who's trying her best to handle a cheesy romantic subplot).
First off, it all looks terrific;the CGI used to burn Nicolas Cage's flesh off (or maybe that was just his really intense acting) and demon-ify his motorbike is fantastic. Also, it's great that Nicolas Cage is basically playing, erm, Nicolas Cage. This means that the character of Johnny Blaze is imbued with some bizarre characteristics e.g. drinking jelly beans out of a martini glass. Other great acting in the film comes from Peter Fonda as the devil and Sam Elliot, who plays a mysterious old cowboy type, with the greatest 'stache ever seen in any film I've watched.Also, the heavy metal score is awesome, and the cowboy Ghost Rider is the Best Thing Ever.
Now, the bad stuff: The script is clunky and some characters are thinly sketched. Also, though the main villain, Blackheart (Wes Nelson) is admirably unhinged, he kept distractingly reminding me of Edward from Twilight for some reason, and the side villains, for all their apparent deadliness, don't really prove much of a challenge for Ol' Flamehead (though their killings are epic). The plot is also loaded with plot holes you could drive a flaming bike through. All this said though, it's great for some mindless, so-bad-it's-good fun.
Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker (2019)
Punch it, Chewie.
I do not wanna start an argument or anything here... but I really cannot understand the people who have problems with this film. It has a lower Rotten Tomatoes score than Attack of The Clones (which, in a handy Sebulba phrase, was in fact Poodoo)! This is an outrage, in my humble opinion, as it really did feel like the grand end that the Skywalker Saga deserves, and packed more than enough space battles, punch-the-air moments and, most of all, emotional moments for long-time fans to cry about, to sit proudly beside it's predecessors as one of the great Star Wars film. Anyone who doesn't feel a lump in the throat as the final twin-sunset dawns on the place it all started, Tatooine, and John Williams' still-fantastic score kicks in, may well be a droid. It's also the second film of the saga where Palpatine says "Do it!" :) This film definitely left lots of positive ripples in the Force. A+++