Reviews

Mitch saves the same girl he saved last week again this week. Boaring. Jessie hates Kekoa, but her outfit when she goes to get Newmie could raise corpse cocks. Oh, yeah, Newmie's here. Peeps be like: Newmie is a real lifeguard. I be like: Big whoop. So was Ronald Reagan. All other sandcrabs are imposters. Spooky old man tells Jason he's not really from Texas. Wack. A+ vistas. 5 Stars.

Galaxy brained beauty contest. Would you expect any less? I keeled over from all the suspense surrounding the real ID of the guy who looked like George Hamilton. Not for the faint of heart. Only steadfast steeds can watch this. Newmie's lonely and it's sad, not funny. Manny loves Stalinist police state technology. Yipee. Big brother watching! Even at the beach! How could life get any better?

Schizo ep. A+ sheilas in togs. F- encroaching NKVD + mocking poor Newman.

Painting lubricious verbal sculpture.

Twit jozzled / glowing gloriously / tasty morsel.

Fêted not vetted / unwedded but bedded / Hoff thought I'll pwn her and bone her / mini man maligned her, opined her.

Hoff so sizzling the chicks lose their minds. I don't know what accolades are but I don't think it's what I'll get for this lame joke formula.

Mixin' meta 4s like a nimrod bartender cocktails. This ep gobbles goose gonads.

Now that Neely's a MILF she's irresistible to old man wavy hair lifeguard stud, who scrambles to make himself two-legged hunkalicious romance bomb. Look how fatherly I am. Look. Look. Smooch by the pram.

Carmen Electra is a mighty fine poser. No complaints in this neck o' the wood.

Bear chase! Ep Ick Ep!

If you like crime/detective stuff definitely give this one a try. The cases are complex, and the characters amusing. The acting is great and the stories oddly compelling. Every now and then a motif faceplants (poker? Really?), but it's consistently good.

Desirous security guard decides to play with genetically altered amphibian chick. Things don't go according to plan. Logically Teague brings in a lifeguard to solve the missing mutant mystery :-D.

Primo angry puma attack noises. 9 Stars.

Foxes quarrel. Awesome red swimsuit sex bombs escalate feud. April lookin' mighty fine too. Tale twiddles and twirls. +10 stars. Depressing injury. -35 stars. Neely tortures Nitwit Stud Wavy Hair. +30 stars.

Like, I don't know what incontrovertible means, but, maybe it's, like, not a pink Pontiac with the top down.

Like, I don't think it's fair, that they, like, keep writing, like, so many bogus scripts. Like, barf me out.

Smokin' hot Viking lady plays the fiddle. Sumpn suspicious 'bout all these high falutin' black tie evening gown snobs. Curveballs every which way. Platinum blond curves visually delicious. Emotion jolts at the tower. Superb chapter.

Prank played. Boy AWOL. Byook overcome with seethe. Upside down forced hanging fess up. Groovy optical sexiness. Decrepit rescue drama trudges along like frazzled Russian monks in the snow. Fiercely forgettable ep.

No churros. No Dimwit Pomeroy.

...that went nowhere. Meet some sexy Aussies. Boast of prowess. Deal with products of previous prowess. Shower scene more frigid than steamy. Speedo viewing bonanza. The dog is cute. They race. You've seen bigger turds.

Alexis regresses to junior high and thinks about asking a boy out on a date. Tanner checks his email. Byuuk drives fast. Oh, and there's a rescue or something. A wet guy can't breath. They resuscitate him. I think I need to be pensive on the jetty for a while.

Rookie lifeguard steals underwear model's pants as part of her loopy plan to seduce him. She burns her face on hot coffee but she does indeed, a la Twilight Zone, get her man.

Intense amorous end orphins messin' with her brain function, Jessie forgets that buses should stay *on* the bridge and *above* water. Fervent rescue transpires.

All the rest is really depressing stuff about child abuse. Do NOT watch this ep. Learn some cheerful old songs about hiking and fishing, and sing them.

My memories of this ep are all foggy. Like I'm lost adrift directionless, and somebody's shooting artillery at me. E'body got a side dish but April ain't talkin'. Infantile mucho macho deportivo duo are comic platinum.

He row Hoff steals from inebriated ophiologist. Brooke Burns is hot. It's like a barrel o' snakes with no barrel. Glib gondola globbing. Wow. Wiener man booted. Pater Malus crooks da Byook's yellow barque. Seething seeking n piquant pursuit supervenes.

Rip current => Cody So Chill.

Good concept. Very poor writing ruins it. Zero Stars.

A+ hot babes. And tons of speedo beefcake. Ten Stars.

So what? Now I gotta average it out?

Etmopterus Perryi. Sean not chums with chum chucking chud.

Oh, green-eyed beach, thy name is envy, thy number 277.