Eamonn_green's Reviews

Paranormal Activity (2007)

10/10

18 October 2010

This is a great film. The techniques used by the director and camera people have the desired effect. This is the quality of filming that the makers of The Blair Witch Project should have been aiming for.

What makes this film a masterpiece is the balance of techniques used. Suspense is used at the correct times and the timing of the stingers in this film is immense. Also the sounds used in the film sends one's imagination wild. When a film can get inside your imagination there are no limits or boundaries to how much that film can terrify you.

The cinematographer deserves applause also as the lighting in this film creates a lot of suspense and sets the audience up for many frightening stingers.

This is what Drag Me To Hell could have been and what Blair Witch should have been. To summarise this is a must see for horror fans especially fans of the Fourth Kind which is similar in quality and similar filming techniques are used. This hellish psychological horror shows The Exorcist and films like it for the mediocre drivel that they are.

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Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995)

As scary and enjoyable as the first one!

10 May 2004

Right I know a lot of people don't agree but in my opinion it was.

A lot of people didn't like the fact that Michael raped Jamie in this film(neither did I in fact) but there were reasons for it. For a start it meant a family member for Michael to pursue. Also it made Jamie more vulnerable for the too short time she was on screen and this directly made Michael scarier as we knew what he had done. This should have made us think how evil is he? Is he so evil that he would do anything and everything that is so evily unthinkable?

Also I like the score that is basically the first one on a different instrument. Halloween 4 tried to do that but didn't succeed as well as this film.

I liked the Thorn link. It links back to the Samhain theme. It should remind us that Halloween is an Irish festival and not a night about some mass murderer. Also to me it made Michael more powerful and scary.

Any Pleasence's and Wilbur's performances were the best in this movie but Pleasence is the best in this film. Pity it was his last.

Anyway some scenes were unforgetable because of how scary they were(the first scene that was reminiscent of the first one and the telliscope scene). Anyway I think this film is the best Halloween along with the first one. I recommend this to all slasher fans.

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The Shining (1980)

It's bad and it's not scary

1 November 2003

The film had a good premise- a good caring father turns into a homicidal maniac once he gets snowed into a hotel. How could you go wrong? Well the fact that a horror film should be scary and this wasn't. No good suspense created. No well timed startle shocks and no freaky things. Kubrick's direction was bad. Nicholson, Duvall and Lloyd's performances are all terrible. Well Lloyd has an excuse- Kubrick didn't let him know that he was acting in a horror film! The Red Rum scene could have worked well if Kubrick had told Lloyd he was in a horror and if the letters weren't messed up. And how come "The Shining" was only touched upon? Anyway read the book skip the film.

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Ed Gein (2000)

Bad

4 September 2003

If you're going to make a biopic on Ed Gein what genre should it be? Horror obviously as if you had experienced something like Ed's grisly crimes it would have scared you. It would scarred you emotionally and mentally.

So Chuck Parello decides not to scare the life out of us he decides to make a drama. He tries to get us inside Ed's mind to see his thoughts. He tries and fails. He gives us a small clue to why Ed was so messed up. Even in doing that certain scenes are laughable at best.

He does give us a few awkward scenes but not an adequate amount.

What is the deal with the funeral scenes? It does not add anything to the film and plus we already know who is in the coffins so what is the point?

Why didn't they show far more of what happened in the farmhouse and the cellar? Why didn't they show what Ed did with the bodies? Why didn't they show what Ed was thinking and what it was doing to him? Though this is probably what Parello tried to do with the funeral scenes but it, like the rest of the film, was a failure. Why didn't they show what the real Ed Gein was like? This film could have went a lot deeper into Ed's mind and scared the life out of us all. 2 out of 10.

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The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974)

Better than any other film inspired by Ed Gein. A classic.

4 September 2003

Warning: Spoilers

May contain spoilers

This film is about a group of teens visiting graves to make sure their grandparent's grave hasn't been robbed as there have been grave robbings in that part of rural Texas. They unfortunately take a turn for the worst when they run into the Sawyer family.

This is one of the best horrors of the 70's if not of all time. Why? Lets go through the good points:

Some of the props are real. The skeletons are real. I bet you didn't think them bones were real when watching. It shocked me a little to learn that.

Another reason that this movie is so good is Marylin Burns. She was really cut and bleeding very badly(remember that scene where she was covered in blood? It was hers!). Even after enduring that she manages to put in one of the best performances I've seen. She gets whacked over the head in one scene. She edged the actor to hit her harder. It's a crying shame that she didn't have a better career.

I liked the scene with all the dead people at the start. It's pretty disturbing and gory but stick it out. Apart from that there is virtually no gore at all.

I also liked Gunnar Hansen's performance as Leatherface. I also liked the way Leatherface acted. The way he was with the chainsaw. I wish he was a bit more like Ed Gein but I'm not complaining. A great scene is where he is licking his lips will send a shudder down everyone's back.

I liked the jump scenes. They were well timed, well directed and not over the top.

Another thing I like is the look. It gives it a nice but creepy realistic feel.

I like the fact that the girls in this movie are really hot!

It may not scare you too much but believe me no true horror fan can be without this classic. 9 out of 10

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The Ring (2002)

This was meant to be scary?

1 March 2003

This is a US remake of a Japanese remake of a Korean remake of a Korean TV movie based on a novel called Ringu.

Right 4 perfectly healthy teenagers die on the same night after watching a weird videotape with a ring on it. A journalist who is an aunt of one of the teenagers who died investigates it, finds the videotape and watches it. Then she receives a weird phone call.

This wasn't as scary as people made it out to be. Seriously there were a few jump scenes but nothing that would keep you from sleeping.

The best performance is from the sexy Naomi Watts (Children of the Corn 4) who plays Rachel Keller the journalist. Her acting was outstanding though Martin Henderson's (that dumb aussie soap Home and Away) and Brian Cox's (Manhunter: Red Dragon) performances were also notable.

If this film wasn't cleverly made I would have crucified it and made it out to be terrible.

It has a good plot twist but that doesn't make great horror. 6 out of 10.

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Alien (1979)

Disturbing (may contain spoilers)

15 February 2003

Warning: Spoilers

Jesus this was scary. Scarier than any other horror films about aliens. This was really disturbing. I tried not to think of it after I saw it but I lost sleep over this. This team find alien eggs. Then an egg is disturbed and the aliens start killing everybody. The aliens are really scary and real looking. Jesus there is a really scary scene where an alien pops out of a mans stomach. If you think The Thing (1982) or Signs (2002) is scary then watch this. No don't it might scare you to death! 8 out of 10.

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The Wicker Man (1973)

S***e film

15 February 2003

Right a pagan community in the middle of nowhere that make human sacrifices, surely a premise for a great horror film? Apparently not. Here is a list of reasons why it's a bad film: 1. A good horror film usually has startle shocks. There are none in this film has none, why? 2. If a horror film has no startle shocks then it should have moments of sheer terror. Guess what? This film has none! 3. What's with all the sex? Theres too much! 4. Nothing happens until the end of the film. 5. Thrillers are meant to be exciting, this is boring! 6. Great acting performances, not! 7. Those flesh coloured suits are really fake! 8. S*** dialogue. Not a great film don't watch this. If you want to see a scary film with pagans watch Children of the Corn. 1 out of 10.

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Halloween H20: 20 Years Later (1998)

Pure s***

13 February 2003

Here is a list of reasons of why the film is so bad: 1. Ignores parts 4-6 yet it references them, why? 2. It continues a series which is not as good without Donald Plesence but he is dead so why make it? 3. It tries to kill off Michael which would have meant the great Halloween series ending in a shit film. 4. Where are the startle shocks the made the Halloween films so scary? 5. In fact where are the scary parts? 6. Why the small body count? OK the first one had a small body count but it had startle shocks and tension to make up for it. 7. Speaking of tension is there any in this film? 8. Michael Myers has believed to have been dead for 20 years? Did they not hear about Halloween being banned in Haddonfield? Oh that's right this film ignores that. Even still did they not see him walking out of the fire? 9. S*** directing, who is Steve Miner anyway? 10. Tries to be Halloween with the girl looking out the window in class and the "everyone's entitled to one good scare" but it fails miserably. 11. Terrible acting with Jamie Lee's worst performance. 12. The title even gives it away that it's a bad movie. What is wrong with Halloween 7? No it has to be Halloween H20. 13. Previous Halloween films had pretty actresses. What happened did they all fall off the ugly tree? 14. A little bit of a Samhain theme might have saved this film but the only thing this film has to do with Halloween is the title and date. 15. Even the Season of the Witch fits in to the series better than this. Watch 1-3 and you'll see this fits in quite well. This doesn't fit in quite as well. 16. The Shape isn't used to good effect. This was the worst Halloween. Season of the Witch is a great horror film, fits in to the series but people say it's the worst because it doesn't follow up the storyline. If you think H3: SOTW is the worst, watch this. In fact don't just take my word for it. H20 is the worst. 3 out of 10.

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The Exorcist (1973)

I hate the Exorcist

7 December 2002

Crap plot. A girl is possessed by a demon and needs an exorcism. Oh no! I'm too scared! It starts off in some country in the middle east, what relevance is this too the rest of the movie? What was the point of that scene? This film is vile, disgusting, anti catholic filth. I don't know how anyone can watch this! It's not scary in fact it's terribly boring. I couldn't wait for the end of the film so I turned it off. Nothing could have saved this terrible film. 0 out of 10.

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Jaws 3-D (1983)

A good Jaws sequel

20 November 2002

No you're not seeing things. That's right I said this film was a good Jaws sequel.

The 3D effects? What was the point in this crap? This film would have been better without this 3D crap!

What surprised me about this film was that is had good suspense and had a few good jump scares. Like the part when they're in the tunnel or the glass smashing bit(obviously the influence for a scene in Deep Blue Sea (1999))!

The rubber shark actually looked good for a film in the 80's.

The plot is a baby shark is captured by Sea World and it dies. Then it's 40 foot mother comes along! Things then start going bad!

I liked this film but even if I didn't I would have been thankful this film was made because certain films I like wouldn't have been made such as Shark Attack 2 and Deep Blue Sea. 6 or 7 out of 10.

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Shark Attack 2 (2000 Video)

10/10

Good film

7 November 2002

It's not as bad as people say. I actually enjoyed it! The robotic sharks are realistic but as with Deep Blue Sea the CGI were really fake!

It's starts off with two sisters diving when one of them gets eaten by a great white. A rich man is opening an aquarium and gets a man to catch the great white. So he tranquilizes it and catches it but on the opening day the great white escapes. A cocky australian Steve Irwin like character is called in to get it but there's more than one killer shark! These are the offspring of the first film.

This isn't as good as the film it rips off (Deep Blue Sea) but it's good for it's low budget.

The good: Great suspense, good scares and great action. The bad: The CGI and the fact that Fransisco (the rich man) didn't go in the water so he doesn't get eaten.

I hope I can find Shark Attack to rent because this was great! So was Nikita Ager! 8 out of 10.

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Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)

10/10

Worst Halloween film but it's not as bad as people say

2 November 2002

Unfortunately I saw the UK version which was cut so there was no gore. I remember one droplet of blood. That's all. Anyway a old Irish man Conal Cochran owns a big Halloween mask manufacturing company but in a final process where he puts a bit of stonehenge in the mask. The bit of stonehenge causes mutations on the face.

Why did they make this as a Halloween sequel? It had nothing to do with the previous 2! If they had tried to link it, it could have seen the end of Michael Myers early on in the series! They could have linked it by Michael wearing a Silver Shamrock mask. Why did they cut the UK version so much?

Though I was satisfied after watching this but then I didn't expect much. I bet everyone would have loved this film if it was called Season of the Witch. Come on it didn't deserve the treatment it got. Neither did it's theme music. Come on you have to love that Silver Shamrock tune. The voices are so inian it's funny!

If it hadn't been cut so much it would have been a decent horror sci-fi. 7 out of 10.

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Halloween (1978)

The one, The only, The classic Halloween(May contain spoilers)

30 October 2002

Warning: Spoilers

This is good for the low budget it had but everyone says this is really scary. It's not. It does startle, send chills down your spine and make you jump but you shouldn't have any trouble. Parts of the film will scare you like when Bob goes to get a beer or when the seemingly dead Michael Myers is getting up behind Laurie.

The score is one of the best in any horror films. It was very basic but very scary.

Michael Myers was a very scary character. He killed his sister in 1963 and spent 15 in a mental institute. He steals a car and goes to Haddonfield. In Haddonfield Laurie Strode and Annie Brackett are babysitting across the street from each other. Meanwhile Michael's doctor Sam Loomis is trying to stop what he knows is going to happen. He says to the Sheriff "I spent 8 years trying to reach that boy 7 trying to keep him locked up because what was behind that boys eyes was simply pure evil" What made Michael scarier in this film is that he didn't mess about. He killed them and pursued his next victim. In sequels he messed about.

Make no mistake this should not be the best horror you've seen. Dan Grant asked in his review "what horror film would you rather watch?" I would rather watch films from the Children of the Corn series which mostly are from the 90's which he keeps mouthing off about for bad horror. Yes the best Children of the Corn film was in the 80's but the 90's wasn't bad. He has a point though, modern horror should be like Halloween. Using the same technique and suspense.

I Know What You Did Last Summer is the only modern teen killer movie that can compare with Halloween. Halloween shaped horror. Every horror fan should know that.

Halloween is unpredictable but the predictable parts are scary when they eventually happen (good use of suspense) for example when Annie Brackett is getting into the car.

This isn't very gory so you shouldn't be put off and every horror fan should watch this! Enjoy. 7 out of 10.

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Carnosaur 3: Primal Species (1996)

Primal Species is brilliant

13 October 2002

All Jurassic Park fans should love this. It's a low budget Jurassic Park only scarier and gorier.

It starts off with a few pathetic terrorists trying to steal Uranium to build a weapon but when opening what they've stolen they find out that it's 2 Velociraptors. They've also stolen an asexual reproducing T-rex which appears later in the film. Their mistake proves fatal. The army investigate it. They find out about the Carnosaurs but they have to capture them alive. This proves difficult.

The special effects weren't great but at least they didn't hide the dinosaurs so the audience could barely see them.

This film is gory so if your squeamish avoid this film at all costs and there is enough gore to satisfy gore hounds. This film is also scary and suspenseful.

I recommend this film to all those people who loved Jurassic Park. If you see it and its cheap, buy it! 8 out of 10.

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Dude, Where's My Car? (2000)

Funniest Sci-fi ever!

4 September 2002

Right two irresponsible pizza delivering potheads Chester and Jesse wake up but can't remember anything about the night before. They encounter their girlfriends who are angry because Chester and Jesse trashed their house. They can't find their car and they set out to find it but they went to the places they went to last night and they encounter a transexual stripper looking for a suitcase of money that they have, a cult of nerds looking for the continual transfunctioner, two nordic people also looking for the continual transfunctioner and alien women looking for the continual transfunctioner.

There are loads of funny jokes and this is well worth seeing. Whoever doesn't like this doesn't have a sense of humour.

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Road Trip (2000)

Can't be compared to American Pie

3 September 2002

Why can't it be compared to American Pie? Don't get me wrong it's worth seeing but it's not funny enough.

Someone mentioned in a review that you feel more for the characters in American Pie than Road Trip and it's true. The only character I had any emotion for is Kyle when the car explodes and that's about it. In American Pie I felt sorry for Jim with the pie incedent, the shirt falling off the webcam and being tortured by everyone in school the next day. I felt sorry for Finch with the bathroom incedent, wasting a lot of money and having no date. I felt sorry for Kevin when he said something in front of the cruel Vicky which made her dump him. I felt sorry for Ostreicher when Stifler showed him up in front of Heather. I even felt sorry for Stifler when his girlfriend said she couldn't go to the prom with him. EL is Road Trip's version of Stifler but isn't as funny though it was another good performance by Seann William Scott but he was far better in American Pie as Stifler. Josh I would say if any character out of AP he was like it would be Oz but Oz is more faithful. Rubin is a pot smoking weirdo that is nothing like the characters in AP. Kyle is a geeky version of Jim. He makes a fool of himself but Jim at least got a nice girlfriend but Kyle did not. Road trip even fails to be as dirty as AP. There isn't as many jokes.

The plot is Josh tapes a message to be sent on to his girlfriend Tiffany in Austin. He also tapes himself being unfaithful with Beth. He gets Rubin to send it to Tiffany but he sends the wrong tape and its a race against time to get to Austin.

Well worth seeing but if you haven't seen American Pie see it.

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Final Destination (2000)

Great teen horror

3 September 2002

Ok the reasons I rented out this film was because I heard it was a good horror film and it had Seann William Scott who is one of my favourite actors.

Alex falls asleep before a flight takes off to go to Paris. He has a nightmare about the plane exploding and when things happen when he wakes up that happened in the nightmare he wants to get off the plane but he starts a fight with Carter who thinks Alex is lying. Anyway when the fight happens 5 people are thrown off the plane. Alex's friend goes off to help Alex and a girl called Clear who also knows what's gonna happen goes off on her own free will. The plane crashes. Then Death keeps killing the survivors in order they would have died in the explosion.

This could have been a comedy horror because it had comedy elements for example someone says "You may as well drop dead!" but they drop dead suddenly after.

It has some of the best jump scares ever but I was hoping the Grim Reaper would take out a scythe to kill one of the survivors. He is death after all and the mortician mentioned him.

Another thing though is that there isn't enough gore in this film. There is one gory(if even) death scene. Note down for sequel there must be more gore.

There are characters you want to die that don't and people you want to survive that died in this film. Note again for sequel let likeable people survive and unlikeable people to be slaughtered.

It had a great ending. The inevitable sequel comes out it should start the second the first one ended.

A good teen horror. 9 outta 10.

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The Mummy (1999)

Great film!

27 August 2002

How could anyone not like this film? What were people expecting? A classic horror film?

Well I wasn't and I wasn't disappointed. I wanted an exciting action adventure with a bit of horror elements and that is what I got.

Rick O'Connell is saved from getting hanged when Evelyn Carnahan wants him to show were an ancient city called Hamunaptra were they find a book. Evelyn unwisely reads the book and wakes a mummy Imhotep who when he was alive had an affair with the Pharaoh's wife. After being caught they kill the Pharaoh, try to escape but Imhotep is caught and mummified in Hamunaptra. After being woken Imhotep is helped by one man to regain his life and then there is chaos.

This was a fun exciting film with lots of great action. So if you wanted something else or more of something you expected too much. 7 out of 10.

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Crash Bandicoot (1996 Video Game)

Best Crash game

26 August 2002

Many think Crash Bandicoot 3: Warped is the best but nothing is as good as the original. The plot is a bandicoot called Crash sets out to save his bandicoot girlfriend Tauna from a maniac called Dr Neo Cortex. But he has to face a maniac Kangaroo called Ripper Roo, a big indian called Papu Papu and a big Koala before he can face Cortex. There are lots of hard levels and to help is a voodoo indian called Aku Aku. The only bad thing about the game is it can get frustrating. If you like Spyro you'll love this.

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Gran Turismo 3: A-Spec (2001 Video Game)

Not as good as number 2

26 August 2002

Ok sacrificing gameplay for graphics makes a bad game. This game proves this. Ok so I was playing the game and it says 200 kmh and I started thinking "its more like 2 kmh"! The gameplay is so slow it makes a Lada look fast! In the second game the gameplay isn't sacrificed for graphics instead it's balanced. It has good graphics and good gameplay. The first sacrificed graphics for great gameplay. So number had great gameplay but the graphics weren't good. This game has amazing graphics but terrible gameplay! This is the worst GT game with the second being best but Gran Turismo Concept looks class so I'm hoping its a good Playstation 2 Gran Turismo game.

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Scream 2 (1997)

As good as the first if not better

26 August 2002

This was good. Though the killer(s) in this one isn't/aren't as good as the killers in the first. It was scarier than the first.

The plot is two years after the first Scream they make a movie based on the events of Scream called Stab. At the first viewing of Stab 2 people are killed. The story also follows the life of Sidney Prescott and Randy Meeks. Then Gale works out as more people are killed someone's choosing their victims to copy Woodsboro!

One thing that I don't like about this film is that characters I want to live die.

But still it's worth watching.

I've you liked the first you'll like this. 7.5 out of 10.

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Christine (1983)

Worst of Stephen King

26 August 2002

I can't believe how bad this film is. No suspense, no scares, no entertainment and no gore. What kind of horror was this. Oh my god! A red car what a menacing villain! A car that can fix itself after getting smashed to bits? Full marks for realism; not.

The plot is a geek byes a demon car. Demon car starts killing geek's enemies. Geek's friends get concerned and tell him to sell car. Oh my god what a scary plot! I might not be able to sleep tonight thinking about that! What a terrible plot.

I can't believe the author of Children of the Corn, The Shawshank Redemption and The Shining wrote this crap but what I can believe is that the director of Village of the Damned directed this crap. 1 out of 10.

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The Substitute (1996)

Good action film

24 August 2002

Shale is a substitute teacher at a school where the headmaster imports drugs. The pupils soon learn that he isn't to messed with. He refuses to teach one pupil in his class who helps the headmaster with the drugs. Then Shale finds out more and then tries to defeat the headmaster. If you're looking for a great action film look no further. 7 out of 10.

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Scream (1996)

Entertaining but there is something everyone hates about this film

24 August 2002

I hate it being considered being a great horror film when it isn't even scary. It's not even as good as Urban Legend or I Know What You Did Last Summer. It overshadowed better films than it. If this hadn't had been made neither would have Witchouse (1999)(V). It has a brilliant twist but you'll work it out but not as quick as you worked out The Sixth Sense's twist.

The plot is a killer goes around killing teenager[Oh my god! That's even more original than the plot of Lost Souls (2000))]. He has a reason to though and he is obsessed with this one girl called Sidney. Sidney's mother died a year before the killer started killing the teenagers.

The performances are good but the outstanding performance is by Neve Campbell.

The film is well worth seeing but is well overrated. 7.5 out of 10.

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