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The Last of Us (2023)
It looks like the game but it lacks the stakes
I'm definitely biased when I say that this did not live up to its potential. Far too much is spent on background characters that have little to no impact on the story and not enough time is spent on our 2 main characters. In the game, Joel and Ellie are constantly fighting for their lives against zombies and other humans, having to depend on each other while the world crumbles. Joel is by no means a hero, in the game he kills so many people just to save his surrogate daughter. In the show, there's barely any zombies or people for Joel to kill. You almost forget other people are after them. Where's the danger? Did they put this show on easy mode? Why are we spending 2 or so episodes on side characters, when our main ones have barely bonded? The show should be about them and their bond. If they wanted to explore more of the world, why did they limit the show to 9 episodes?
Very disappointed with the final product, especially when the creator did Chernobyl, which is great.
Cyberpunk 2077 (2020)
Chess has a better story than this talking simulator
It's just bad. Glitches are one thing, but this story is just uninspired and uninteresting. It certainly is not helped by the perpetually fixed first person camera the entire time you play it. If you're looking for a cinematic experience like a Skyrim, keep looking. If you're looking for a talking simulator with a very occasional shooting scene set in the cybernetic future, play Detroit Become Human. If you like all of that second one, but hate good voice acting and love being bored to tears, then you'll get a bored kick out of this.
Don't be fooled, Cyberspunk 711 is not an 8/10 game. Unless you're from the past and have literally never played or seen a computer game before, this is at best a 5/10. The voice acting is bad, the characters are bland, and the world is as empty as a K-Mart. I got this for free and I still feel like I got ripped off.
The Guardians of Justice (2022)
Find something better to watch
It's not smart or funny like The Boys or light hearted and campy like The Tick and it looks cheaper than 2001 Honda Civic.
Thunder Force, a movie that I have not seen and it's probably bad anyway, is better than this probably. Mystery Men is better than this. 3 hours of cat videos on youtube is definitely better than this.
There's other stuff, good stuff, out there to watch. You don't have to mindlessly consume content like a rabbit with an endless supply of rabbit chow.
WandaVision: We Interrupt This Program (2021)
It's something, I guess
Are there really that many I Love Lucy fans out there? I really don't understand the praise this show gets. Are Marvel fans that starved for content? With the exception of this one, it's just a homage to old tired sitcoms. It would be one thing if any of the jokes were actually funny or witty but, it's just tired generic sitcom stuff with some C-list Marvel characters.
This episode was definitely a step up. The little exposition and payoff almost makes this show worth watching. Maybe the next episode will finally win me over but, I'm not holding my breath.
History of Swear Words (2021)
Just Watch A George Carlin Stand Up
No-name celebs and Nic Cage mansplain the usage of some swears. The history or comedy is neither here nor there.
Don't know why Netflix thought the star of Vampire's Kiss and Drive Angry would be a good choice for this show. Outside of internet memery (and poor financial planning), there's no real reason for Nicholas Cage to be here. This really should have gone to Samuel L Jackson. The material would probably be the same, but at least it would be watchable. Or they should have just sent this over to Channel 4 and let the British do it.
Young Justice: Evolution (2019)
3 episodes crammed into one
Savage's origin story combined with a standard "training the newbies" episode and a somewhat forced romance between Doctor lady and PTSD man make for a very poor paced and muddled episode. Why did they think this would be a good idea? Neither of these stories tie into one another, so why put them all in one episode? They spent the first 4 episodes of this season on one story that could have easily been 2 and then they do this?
Why DC? Why?
Smallville: Pilot (2001)
Buffy: The Smallville Slayer: It's fine, I guess
This episode aired in 2001 and boy does it show. Bad cgi and that Mark Snow score makes it feel like I'm watching an episode of the X-Files and not in a good way.
I didn't watch this show when it aired mostly because I assumed it was just "what if Superman were in High School and he's got girl problems but also there's a truck that's on fire?" And it pretty much is just that, along with a bunch of other CW drama tropes.
Here's the thing about Superman's time in Smallville and most of his past: it's just not that interesting. Unless it's an Elseworlds, we already know this part of the story. What else is there to tell? Do we really need to know if Clark Kent passes his Math test? I've heard mostly good things about Smallville, so I'll at least try to push through the first season, but I remain sceptic.
Until Dawn (2015)
Previously On The Game That You Are Still Playing
Pretty solid interactive horror movie game with a mostly solid cast and some decent graphics for 2015. Jake Chisel, the Cheerleader, Stormare and Mr. Robot are especially good. It really didn't need those recaps every 10 minutes. Did the devs think people were only going to play for a little bit and then pick it up sometime later? I guess it would make sense if they were showing what had previously happened to characters that had been absent for awhile but it literally recaps things that just happened.
Other things: I like Pete Stormare and he is good here but, aside from shaming the player for playing the game, he doesn't really add much and might as well not be in it. Frame rate is also a bit dodgy in parts and the lack of proper camera controls can get annoying.
It's not great, but it's hardly the worst thing ever. If you can get it at a good price, it's definitely worth checking out.
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt: Party Monster: Scratching the Surface (2018)
American Vandal as presented by Tina Fey
After a couple of so-so seasons, we've finally got something pretty great. More episodes of this show should have been like this and less like 'boomers not understanding technology.'
It's essentially a condensed 30 minute American Vandal/Making A Murderer documentary done with characters from the show and there's lots of callbacks and generally well crafted jokes to enjoy throughout the episode. While this is primarily a Kimmy-less episode, focusing more towards The Reverend and the dumb DJ who follows him, there's enough here to make it worth a watch.
It's only 30 minutes. You're watching freakin Kimmy Schmidt. It's not like you have anywhere you need to be.
The Boys: What I Know (2020)
I don't care anymore
Aside from some hyper-violence and very on-the-nose political commentary, it's basically like every other generic show. Inconsistent character motivations, a nonexistent plot, and a lot of drama-for-drama's sake just don't cut it anymore. While I enjoyed season 1 for the most part, season 2 has left me wanting.
Ash vs Evil Dead: The Mettle of Man (2018)
Mediocre season with an interesting cliffhanger
Honestly the show should have just stopped at its 2nd season. With the repetitive plot threads and mediocre storytelling, I'm not surprised this was cancelled. Would it have killed them to let any of the main characters stay dead? Based on how this last season played out, I don't see any way it could have lived up to the cliffhanger. Don't get me wrong, I'd still be down a continuation of the series (in tv or movie form). I just have a hard time believing it would be any good or better than what we already got.
The Boys: The Bloody Doors Off (2020)
Hospital fight was pretty good, the rest is just melodramatic crap
I miss when this show was filled with satire and had an actual point/storyline. Now it's basically just like any other CW show. Unless we get a really good finale, I'm just gonna pretend it stopped at season 1.
The Blues Brothers (1980)
Just a movie
Big GTA chase at the end, a few song/dance numbers, a ton of cameos and a few kinda funny gags mixed in. That's pretty much it.
Unless your glasses are rose-colored, I can't see this being anyone's new top favorite.
RIP all the cars that were trashed during the film.
The Boys: Over the Hill with the Swords of a Thousand Men (2020)
Diminishing returns
There's a few solid moments in this episode but not much else. Aside from that a pretty mediocre episode for what is shaping up to be a pretty mediocre season. Gone is the humor and wit from the previous season and in place of that are more dramatic moments from side characters you couldn't care less about. They only have 8 episodes for this season. Why are we wasting time on all this unnecessary filler? Show can do better than this. This isn't the CW.
Hopefully they'll pick up the slack in the upcoming episodes.
Uncharted: The Lost Legacy (2017)
Naughty Dogs Desperate Attempt To Keep This Franchise Relevant
Its fine. The game itself is totally playable and the graphics look fantastic, but everything else is just weak. The story is pretty generic, the gameplay gets repetitive and the characters are so played out. You're off playing one of the other 4 Uncharteds or a Tomb Raider game. Personally, I love the first 3 in the series and I genuinely think they're better than the Tomb Raider games, but this is skipable and definitely not worth its full price.
If you're really desperate to play this, get it for cheap or have a friend lend you their copy.
The Wicker Man (2006)
Nicolas Cage's Worst?
For the longest time, I've always thought Nic Cage couldn't possibly come as close to the horror of Vampire's Kiss. While that movie is still very bad, this movie comes about to that same level of suck. At no point does this movie try to be entertaining or interesting. This movie is so bad it makes Birdemic look like The Birds. Don't see this movie. Coming from someone who hates Twilight, I would rather watch all the Twilight movies than have to see this movie (sorry Twi-hards). It amazes me that someone like Ellen Burstyn would do this movie. I feel bad for whoever had to edit this stinker. It would be wise to not see this movie. Stick to watching the "How'd it get burned" or "Not the bees" videos off of YouTube.
PS Don't see this movie under any circumstance!!