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Arendelle Castle Yule Log (2019)
Should have lasted 1 min max! Not 3h of fire burning!
At least make olaf do a silly thing walking left and right a few times... Or don't make people get a 3h long, twice an animated movie, of a burning log on repeat! It's not even frozen-looking. I guess it contains spoilers since there is only 1 thing going on: NOOOOOTHIIIIING!
Sonic the Hedgehog (2020)
As amazing as it looks!
(Maybe spoilers about characters' motivations, well, how I understood them)
Jim Carrey finally have a role that lets him shine. I haven't enjoyed him that badly since the mask, he's so intense and evil in a very intimidating yet fun way. I felt admiration, terror, and sympathy. I loved his back story, he became evil for a good reason. It's my favorite morale: Bullies shouldn't harm the weak to have a fun power trip, they can grow into overpowering enemies later... and it can unleash an enraged evil into the world.
I was rooting for Robotnik. And Sonic too, Ben Schwartz made him sound adorable. (Sonic is kinda ADHD but maybe that's a misunderstood superpower). I'm very grateful that they changed Sonic's Design from the first trailer. When we are used to the videogame and anime culture, big cartoonish eyes look more realistic. (Asians have small eyes, so we all seem to have huge eyes for them. Maybe it fascinate them so they draw eyes overly bigger, or maybe it's just easier to see expressions.) Sonic is an alien, he's not supposed to look human (but it was well made though)
I liked that many races were represented in the movie, not just African Americans. It would have been wrong not to show Asians because SEGA is a Japanese videogame company. There's a funny dark joke where many races wait together for an elevator, side by side, it was nice.
Robotnik' tech was absolutely amazing. Better than the bat mobile (but don't raise your expectations too much.) The villain looks different than the game, but it was for the best because he's more intimidating. (Fun fact: Hitler's moustache used to be curly like that, until he was forced to cut it to be able to wear gas masks as a soldier... he shaved the sides too much, I guess to be passive aggressive.) So his moustache looked scary to me. We briefly see Robotnik look more like the videogame, so we had the best of both designs.
His loyal butler was very nice too. Robotnik is such a misanthrope (mistrust and hate in humans), it's weird that he didn't build himself an AI or robots like Iron Man... But the movie is about loneliness and making friends... (sorry if that's a spoiler) It's not just about Sonic, I think Robotnik is lonely too. Maybe he doesn't wants Sonic's power just to stay on top of the world, but to have a worthy challenger to play with and stimulate him intellectually. I noticed that villains often have the occasion to kill the hero easily in games and anime, but instead they brag about their plots... maybe they just want someone to talk and play with... It's the hero who send them to their death without an after thought... So who's really evil? I'm totally rooting for villains and Jim Carrey made an awesome one.
The movie was super sweet, blew my mind, and gave me thrills. It was awesome in many ways and movie genres. Animation, comedy, science fiction, maybe some horror... Slow moments don't last long. The movie sure was exciting!
I wanted to watch it in theaters twice in a row to keep the fun going. I'll see it again another day. If you like animated movies and/or ever loved a Jim Carrey movie, you have to see it at least once. I was very pleased on so many levels.
I sure hope for a sequel! You must! I'll pay for it!
Justice League (2017)
Not the best superhero movie, but it's nice to have more
I wish we had an origin movie for Cyborg and Aquaman before this one. They're cooler than expected but it felt rushed.
The Flash was adorable with his quirks! He's the first geeky super hero since Spiderman. He's my favorite.
It's nice to have a strong female role model for a change.
Batman was nice, but I prefer Superman. I liked to see him angry, his upper lip seemed twisted with a disgusted growl... but that's actually CGI to hide his mustache!!!?
I'm poor enough to have a limited food budget, but I actually paid to go see this movie in theaters to encourage the industry. But they wasted millions editing his mustache instead to shave him and glue a fake one for the movie M:I 6. Shameful.
I regret paying for it (stop using your bright phones in theaters!!!) but I'm happy I saw it. The villain wasn't memorable... so the plot was dull... But I enjoyed meeting new superheroes, I guess it's better than nothing.
Happy Death Day (2017)
Groundhog Day with a slasher. Good old 90s recipe with twists.
What was so fun with the horror movies in the 90s was how they made people unlikable before giving us the joy of murdering them. The actress was incredible at being unbearable, I was excited to see her be killed... repeatedly.
I was disappointed by the lack of gore, but then I appreciated it as a clever suspense. And it sure delivered. She powerfully expressed her psychological distress.
It was very fun, movies that laugh at themselves are the best comedies. It was actually deep and inspiring too about personal maturity and social interactions.
Seeing her relive the same day didn't feel repetitive, she doesn't just make different choices, her attitude becomes different too. I wasn't expecting much, but even when I do, I rarely get twists and endings this interesting. I'll gladly watch again!
I'm happy that more movies are using the Groundhog Day idea. Edge of Tomorrow was also interesting if you like science fiction.
IT (2017)
Wow it was actually scary! Like a good old horror movie from the 90s!
I read the book and saw the first movie, but I don't remember much, except that I haven't been this impressed! The remake might have surpassed the original.
I was only interested to see how the actor would play the clown... at some point I thought "damn, how scarier can he get!?" He'd make a good joker replacement to the grandiose Heath Ledger.
I expected the kids to just be a screeching annoyance, but wow they can act! I was especially impressed by the very young brother. They looked genuinely terrified in a contagious way, which made the movie credible.
It's deeper than just a monster movie. Each kid has dark social issues that may be worse than the demon. Some scenes were brutal. The children's courage was inspiring.
Stephen King is truly the master of horror, and I am happy that someone made a movie to show "it".
It takes talent to turn something fun and silly into something terrifying.
I also enjoyed the movie: Clown (2014)
Ghostbusters (2016)
Actually funnier than Star Wars! (Mwahaha!)
Ghostbusters didn't ruin my childhood memories. It was fun! I wanted to avoid it like a plague, but the special effects seemed worth it. I had a great time!!!
The people who wrote bad reviews are right, but there's more to it.
The morale of the story is: Even if you are the most useless type of woman, the most socially awkward nerd, or the worst racial stereotype... rejected by all, with society refusing to give you a chance to show your potential, discredited, a failure, a loser... You won't lose at all times forever. You can still save the day! You don't have to try to destroy society, being bullied isn't a reason. People do bad things because they choose to be bad people. Even in the worst situation, even if everyone think you're the worst, you can still choose to do the best thing. For yourself, for a friend, and even for everyone. Not everyone will acknowledge you, but some will. Knowing who you are, believing that you have worth, and friendship, is a better reward than fame.
It's beautiful! It's a very good movie with great values.
But the characters start as the worst losers, and the scenes to establish their misery are really cringe worthy... It's unbearably embarrassing when they get fired... At some point you just want to stop watching and die in shame... BUT! They persevere, and then things start to get better than they ever did. The movies shows that there can be hope even in utter hopelessness, but not necessarily where you want it to be.
It's not sexist and racist. It actually denounces our sexist society by showing it. Like South Park. It's amazing to have a movie with many women as main characters, and not mindless sexual objects for once. Many people hated that, but it was refreshing!
Reversing genders gave a chance to women to shine, and showed how bad sexism is, specially with their "re-THOR-ded" male secretary. He doesn't have the competences for the job but they hire him for his looks, and then they mock him for it while doing sexual harassment. It's considered normal to threat women like this, but it's wrong for everyone.
But he didn't let the abuse affect his self confidence, he messed with them too playfully, showing that your own attitude is more important than other's. Actually he was never dumb. He was pretending to be, because the actor Chris Hemsworth actually played Thor in disguise, the way superman hide with fake glasses, and they made an obvious reference by calling him superman.
I hated Thor because he's so arrogant, but the actor has such a warm genuine smile in Ghostbusters that I ended up loving him, and enjoying the movie like he did!
People complained that a scene reminded them of Pixels. Yeah. And there's also a scene like Jim Carrey's dance in the mask, done by a very amused Chris Hemsworth. And a scene like Big Hero 6. They compiled best moments and I was happy to see epic scenes again.
People complained that the special effects looks like Walt Disney. I'm a horror fan, but it was very refreshing to see detailed colorful ghosts instead of mere black blurs. The animation really is gorgeous.
About being unworthy of the name Ghostbusters, the group actually wanted to call themselves something else. They made lots of references to the previous movies while being unique. All the previous actors showed support by making an appearance. The creators made extra efforts to give us bonuses.
We even get to see Sigourney Weaver, the best woman to have as a role model. Because she was the hero in Aliens, instead to be a horny helpless damsel in distress. Unlike the James Bond movies, where even the actor hates how misogynist he has to be.
It shows women at their worst, but it's not sexist, because they show them doing their best in adversity.
The old movies were dorky too! Nerds were bullied by jocks but shown as capable in spite of their shortcomings. Society got better. Now they wanted to open our minds about women with a new story about bullying and acceptance. By using a cast full of women, they didn't spit on the old movies, they continued its spirit.
It has a beautiful message: You can be who you are even if the majority rejects you for it, someday your special interests and talents will be needed. Don't expect everyone to be good to you. Don't reject your friends trying to be accepted by the majority, be good to your friends and appreciate those who already appreciate you.
Painful road, beautiful destination.
The green blob is a morbidly obese man who died from eating junk food. Too heavy to walk, he has no legs and fly, obsessed with eating garbage. Disgusting. But now he's having fun with a woman just like him; it shows that everyone can find happiness and love... with someone with compatible interests.
Even the logo finally makes sense in such a cool way!
I really loved Ghostbusters. But yeah, it made me cringe to be forced to acknowledge flawed people, how badly society treats them, and flaws into myself. But it made me laugh too~
The villain was great, very dedicated. I'm glad that he reached his goal for a while and all hell broke lose! But dying for revenge felt ultimately pointless... because you're dead even if you succeed.
So just enjoy your life, and this movie. There is potential for greatness and awfulness in everyone and everything. This movie had both~ You can dismiss it as worthless because it's not perfect, or you can appreciate what it has to offer... and this that's the whole point that this movie is trying to make people understand.
Kubo and the Two Strings (2016)
Epic, gorgeous, rainbow of emotions, funny... and real! Excellent stop motion with 3D
It was a must to see this one in theaters on a big screen to admire all the details. The animation was fluid but I noticed slight pauses that only happen with stop motion animation... After the credit they show an enormous monster puppet on strings, moving like a robot! It's stop motion! But I sure hope that the breath taking origami is in 3D because the details are too amazing! They seem to have combined two arts perfectly, making visual effects that I rarely get to see.
I laughed a lot in the movie. There's grief and they didn't hesitate to be dark and the monkey is cynical, but it makes good contrasts and balance with the boy's courageous attitude.
I thought that the monkey and beetle were added just to embellish the movie and prevent the boy from being alone, but the story is much richer than that.
I watch anime a lot but I never understood the tradition to send lid lanterns on a river. It was explained beautifully to a child and I got all choked up.
There's a variety of weapon, I got impressed by one. There are many ways to defeat your enemy... and the ending surprised me with its wisdom.
It's supernatural too... and the powers are majestic.
The voice actors are very convincing. I almost forgot to mention them because it feels like it's truly their voices.
It's amazing to actually look at something real, it's more convincing than just 3D... It's not fake, and I got a wide range of real emotions out of it, and real enjoyment.
Legend of the Seeker (2008)
Bluring the good vs evil clichés into something awesome!
I didn't read the books, so I could appreciate it for what it was, not what I expected it to be.
What is so utterly amazing about this show is that the good vs evil isn't purely black and white. The good and pure Confessor can brainwash people into mindless slaves, and that's not even the darkest thing about her. The cold sadistic "dominatrix" has the breath of life that can resurrect someone who just died. You'd expect it to be the other way around, but the good can be evil, and the evil can be good.
We aren't doomed by our own nature or by fate, but by the choices and actions that we do. And we can change for the best or the worst. The worst can do the best, and the best can do the worst.
Beware the angels, for they can be evil. Don't condemn the demons hastily, because they can surprise you with kindness.
People can do anything to achieve their goals. Sometimes kindness is for the worst, sometimes evil is for the best.
I love all the characters. They work well together. They complete each other. The villain is really good at it. The main character is indeed a pussy but it's nice to see him have the courage to persevere anyway. I like the freaking tall goofy magician.
I had a wonderful time and it breaks my heart that it was canceled. Firefly was too and it's my favorite show, that one is probably my second best. I was never bored, it always cheered me up. The action is nice. I like the spirit of it.
Thankfully it lasted long enough to be worth watching anyway. Stuff gets resolved, it doesn't end on a cliffhanger. I don't remember how it ends, so I would gladly watch it yet again. But it was a decent ending making me long for more, so it's complete enough to be worth it.
Of course it's cheesy, but I love cheese. It's not breath taking like the lord of the rings, but it's epic in its own amusing way~ And I actually enjoyed it better.
Dante's Inferno: An Animated Epic (2010)
Not epic but good enough. Using different art styles for each layers of hell is interesting.
I didn't play the game... I'm scared of religious fanatics. But I am glad that this movie showed me the story. It's better than expected, it actually denounces the abuses done by the catholic church. So I liked the twists as it revealed Dante's memories every time he met someone he knew.
Dante's girl gets kidnapped by Lucifer and he needs to go to the deepest layer of hell to fight him and get her back. But it's actually more original than it sounds...
My first thought is that there was something weird with the animation style... and then it changes at every layers of hell, with completely different directors, teams, and Dante's clothes even look different.
So I think that this movie was made as an art form, and that makes the fact that the animation wasn't perfect acceptable.
It's not the best I've seen, I liked Bayonetta more but it's probably because I played that one. I don't feel the urge to play the Dante game, but I wouldn't mind watching the movie again eventually.
Maggie (2015)
Not an action slasher, great poetic drama
I'm not a zombie fan so if you have very specific standards, you might dislike this... Personally, I like to be amazed by something different. I was.
There are long silences and not much action, so I guess you need to be in the right mood for this. The emotions and visuals were convincing. It's a good movie if you want your heart to be clawed out and put back upside down.
All I wanted was to see Arnold again, and this movie reminded me why I adored him as a father figure while growing up.
It's the story of a daughter's last moments with her family as she's slowly turning.
It's about so much more than just killing zombies...
PROBABLY SPOILERS
The heartbreaking choice of the father wanting to protect her, but also having to protect his other loved ones and the world from her if she turns... The torment of her impending doom as she see herself waste away... her fear that she might hurt others... people near her who are scared constantly wondering if she's still herself or turned... The loyal friends who show her support by still treating her like a person and inviting her to have fun... The cops who want to arrest her just for being sick because they are afraid of the harm she could do even though she hasn't done any yet... The cruel way that society can discard sick people in quarantine, letting them die without bothering to care about their well being because they're doomed anyway... The compassion of doctors who are helpless and secretly admit that their only solution would do more harm than good...
Everyone's thorn because doing the best for someone can mean doing the worst to another... And how can you save someone doomed to die in agony...
I felt that this was the most realistic zombie movie that I have ever seen. Everything I've seen so far was just a mindless mob of already turned zombies and people hack-&-slashing their way through it... And it made mass murder okay because, heck, they're already dead! So you get to vent your penned up anger against humanity with no guilt about losing yours in the process... And sure, those movie are entertaining, I really liked "Shawn of the dead".
But Maggie shows so much humanity, it gives back humanity to zombies, and to the people who need to kill them... It shows that if we had a zombie apocalypse, it wouldn't be all fun and games, it would be a heart breaking torment... An epidemic taking our loved ones away, and making us slowly decay... Being sick truly feels like being the living dead, and there's nothing amusing about it... Killing them to protect ourselves or for mercy makes us die inside along with them... It shows that killing and dying is not a relief from pain...
We tend to think that no one could accept and love us when we are less than perfect, but it was beautiful to see that two sick person can find understanding, compassion and even love in each other.
It's not just about zombies, it's a fictive disease, but the issues aren't fiction. The heartbreak and fear is probably the way people feel about cancer (possibly a toxin overdose), dementia (vitamin B deficiencies can cause it) and any diseases. That's why it was such a profound movie about death and grief, and it was original to use zombies in a different way to express that.
We are all doomed to die from the moment we are born... All we can do is to enjoy life the best way we can while trying not to destroy everything around us...
I saw another poetic movie about zombies called "Fido". I'm glad to know another one like this.
I love to vent with horror movies, but sometimes it's good to feel again.
Victor Frankenstein (2015)
Professor X meets Harry Potter... Almost as epic as it sounds.
I didn't know who was playing in it, and I was pleasantly surprised.
James McAvoy played Viktor Von Frankenstein and also Charles Xavier in the X-Men. I recognized him quickly and I enjoyed his arrogance. He played the mad scientist genius perfectly. He was a good X-Men leader and he was great as the leading role.
Daniel Radcliffe played Igor and also Harry Potter. I couldn't stand his arrogance as Harry, I guess the secondary characters where too good and made Harry's character look bad. But I didn't recognize him at all in this movie. I even thought that he was very handsome and screamed "WHAT!?" when I saw his name in the end credits. He played the support role marvelously. It made me see the actor in a new light, he's a good one. I noticed a parallel with playing Harry, being abused in a family/circus, taken away and saved... He ends up a loyal friend. He was perfect for the role. He sure can take a beating and humiliations, act like a scared puppy with his big blue eyes... and be a kind person fighting for what he believes is right, even when he has the chance to be bad, even against his friend... but also for his friend. It was beautiful to see the story from his perspective... How thorn he was to be loyally grateful, to want to live his own life and make his own choices, and to avoid committing a terrible wrong...
I am glad that they found a way and explanation to fix Igor's spine and make him stand straight, it made the movie more interesting and gave the character more depth than if he was an infirm hidden away from the world in a lab.
I liked the obsessive inspector, he reminded me of the one from Jean Valjean "Les Misérables", suspecting that he's innocent but doing his job zealously... Being a mindless hunting dog didn't just made innocent suffers, but he made himself suffer in the process too... Warning that being blind by the desire to be perfect can be the reason why you become a failure...
There is an arrogant rich guy, so snob and pompous... damn the actor was good at it. It was impressively annoying, I wanted to slap him. Really well played character.
I liked the characters and the story... the first monkey monster made me say "oh god" a few times... but the Frankenstein monster was a disappointment... but the movie wasn't about him. So he was just a mindless monster who died quickly. There wasn't any depth like the movie "Mary Shelley's Frankenstein" where it's not just his body parts that are jumbled up together, but also his soul, and he tries to understand who he is... That movie really horrified me to no end... But Victor Frankenstein had a lighter tone about friendship, it had some horrifying moments, but not enough to be a gore movie.
Victor Frankenstein isn't about the monster Frankenstein. It's about Igor trying to be the best friend that he can for Victor, and sometimes it means going against his obsessively stubborn wishes... to steer him in the right direction.
It was a very good movie, if you have the right expectations. Don't have any and you'll have a great time~
Traders (2015)
Fight club... deadly version... almost as epic!
When I saw screen captures, I dreaded to spend 2h bored watching a dumb looking fat guy... but I'm glad that I overcame my prejudices because he's actually the most interesting person in the movie! His cleverness made it all possible.
A lot of people get fired and commit suicide because of financial ruin, so he gets the idea to fight to the death to win the other person's money... A lesser of two evils.
Oh~ How I loved to hate him and his plots, the bastard.
The main fighter is a more likable person in spite of being a bit dull. But it's fun to watch him kill.
It's an original way to calm people's frustrations by showing them a bunch of people dying, it's a nice change from slasher movies with a crazy maniac as killer. That stereotype is wrong, it caused stigma and discrimination against people with mental illness, most of them are that way because they suffered more than they could bear, but they wouldn't hurt others. I like how the movie shows that you don't need to be insane to kill, all it takes is a rational motivation... and even the "best" people can do the worst if they see it as their best option.
It was nice to see ordinary "good and proper" people pushed into desperation enough to try to murder... Showing that anyone could do it when pushed hard enough. It's easy to be a good person when everyone is good to you and give you good opportunities... And people pride themselves with mere luck... But if that help is taken away and you fear to lose everything good, you might turn out more evil than you thought anyone could ever be. One of the fighters seemed old and I thought that he had no chance, but the way he fought really surprised me.
Thank you for this movie. It made me laugh~ Thankfully I'm not that desperate yet. I appreciated this movie, and I appreciate my life a little better.
Gods of Egypt (2016)
Fantastic fantasy
I expected this movie to be about some humans thinking they're gods, and waging wars just to please their own ego... Or some religious crap forced fed down our throats. Just another dull action movie about testosterone.
But they really are gods! This is a fantasy movie!!! And it was fun!!!
SPOILERS
Gods end up afraid, vulnerable, disabled, dead... Humans show courage against all odds. Showing that the classes stereotypes aren't set in stone, they don't define someone, actions does. It's inspiring.
The hero is forced on a journey for revenge and discover humility and respect for people who seem less than he his but can still accomplish what he can't and help him... He learns what is truly important... and what gives true worth to someone. The ending was awesome.
It's also about the journey of a simple mortal, a mere thief who aspires to better things... He seems to be a criminal but has his heart at the right place... and he fights the impossible for respect, dignity and for the woman he loves.
It was a really beautiful story. There's more to it too... I liked the Grandfather Ra explaining to Seth why he seemed less fortunate when in fact he was more favored.
Sure the 3D animations is corny... it's too shiny and isn't well integrated to the real life scenery and people... But transforming into a full gold robot like creature fits well with arrogant gods...
The gods look human but they are much taller, being clearly a different race and not just a human lying to scare people into slavery. The effect looked off sometimes, but it helped show that they are truly different beings, and it explained why they felt superior and looked down (literally) on people.
Fun fact: Gods don't have blood in their veins, they have gold. So when they demand gold offerings... what they actually want is god blood! So their gaudy gold transformation actually makes sense.
Was it perfect? Nope.
"Are you not entertained!!!?" (Quote from Gladiator) Yes, yes I was.
Crimson Peak (2015)
Surprisingly enjoyable
The movie will be more fun if you don't read my spoilers. Nothing is perfect, but it's good enough to be worth it.
I forgot why I got that movie and when I read the plot about a man being thorn between two women, I thought "why the hell did I pick a boring romance movie!?" And then I saw a slender gentleman approach with grace, confidence, and curly dark hairs under his tall hat. I thought "Whoa, what a gorgeous man" and when he came close enough to remove his hat and reveal his face I screamed "Oh god it's Loki!" I was ready to endure the worst bore just to look at Tom Hiddleston. But I actually had a good time watching this movie.
The effects were spooky enough to creep me out. There's a much more complex plot than "someone died, became a ghost, and now wants to freak out the living just for the laughs". The dresses looked as glorious as they seemed uncomfortable. The movie is beautiful to look at and not just because Tom is in it.
PROBABLY SPOILERS...
I like how Tom ends up thorn in many more ways than just between two women. Thorn about morality, his dreams, hope for his business... even life and death... Something precious would have to be sacrificed... whether he chooses or not... But not choosing soon enough might bring the worst loss... I liked the ending.
I thought that the characters themselves where lame for what they are doing, but that doesn't make a lame movie. There are truly people like that... stubborn people who refuse to see their failures and ruin other people's lives to persevere... when they could move on to so much better... but I can't really blame them... they were denied better options all their lives... the wrong way to love is all they've ever known. To them, it feels like letting go and moving on would make them lose everything, but it's clinging on something destructive that make them destroy everything... with their own hands... everything they love and even themselves... for nothing... just to avoid the fear of change.
Some people don't wake up until it's too late... some people do so after death and their ghosts try to warn us not to make the same mistake...
It's a good story about abuse to remind people that sometimes if you don't get leave a bad situation and move on, only a deadly agony awaits you. Your hope and dreams for happiness and love never existed in the first place, they were just a bait to lure you to your doom... Because not everyone wants love when marrying... And that was scarier than the ghosts... Even terrifying... Waking up from a dream to live a nightmare requires immense courage. But facing the truth is the only way to end the nightmare. Manipulators can rip your heart, mind and soul apart... to use and abuse you... I'd rather face ghosts and demons.
I read a review that someone knew what would happen at the first frame so he didn't enjoy this movie. But I would gladly watch it again. And not just because we get to see Tom's ass in it. I liked the creepy poesy used to tell the tale. It was a good horror movie, not a slasher, but a good ghost suspense.
Conan the Barbarian (1982)
Wow... they don't make movies this good anymore.
The remake was so bad that I got weary of the sexism and dropped it. But this old movie got me fascinated to the end.
There is more depth in silent stares than many lines I've heard in recent movies. It was poetic. It's brutal, but that allowed a profound beauty.
A child forced into slavery ends up discovering how precious is freedom, friendship... and love.
I was impressed that they had a strong woman who was an equal to the lead male 30 years ago. The newer version was too disrespectful to be entertaining.
The villain is African so it's also respectful of different races. It's a strong role, not some goofy stupid guy who gets killed right after the movie starts. The actor did Darth Vader's voice... It's as epic as you would expect. I got genuinely impressed and intimidated. He had grandiose plans to basically become a god... crushing everything in his path... not some neurotic guy who seem to have taken too much cocaine and be out of control... He was calm, calculated, assertive... freaking scary.
Arnold was a father figure for me growing up, so there was an emotional attachment that made me enjoy this movie on a deeper level... I expected some brute waving his sword mindlessly... but it was so much more. So much thoughts and emotions.
He tasted rock bottom before rising to the top... He gained his strength from being abused as a slave, so it gave him humility and compassion. He had simple goals but accomplished grandiose things in the process. He wanted revenge to be safe and to help one person... but he ended up liberating a lot of people. He struggled every steps of the way, tortured almost to death... his superior strength wasn't enough to guarantee victory... but he managed to get back up, thanks to the help of his loved ones, and persevered... until he succeeded... That's a great lesson to learn.
30 years later, that movie didn't feel old, but like the film makers properly showed an old barbaric era. I was captivated by how much meaning and events they managed to put in a short movie, how much was understood from silence... A movie should be more than action scenes, and it still had plenty of those, but the victories felt earned after struggles, instead of a big violent blur.
I was touched that he kinda stole the most precious stone in the land... to offer it to the woman who helped him, letting her know that she's even more precious to him. He didn't boss her around, he didn't demean her, he didn't try to crush her with his strength and take whatever he wanted by force... he appreciated her strength and her kindness after having known such misery... he wouldn't threat her like his slave now that he had the chance to be on top. He was so gentle and loving... only brutal when he was forced to retaliate against brutality... All the characters have more depth than they seem... The movie touched my heart on many unexpected levels.
The people who made the remake should go watch that old version and face palm themselves in shame. They failed as a Conan movie, they even failed as a movie. But that one is an eternal classic.
Don't be afraid to enjoy old things... sometimes we must look back to make sure that we're not losing precious values in the name of progress.
Conan the Barbarian (2011)
Unbearably sexist
I couldn't watch the whole movie, but I doubt it got better.
I watched the 1982 version before watching it. Conan became a slave who was forced to be barbaric to survive, but then had the chance to discover the value of his own freedom, friendship... and love. Falling for a woman who helped him fight, as an equal, for revenge and everyone's justice at the same time. She ends up sacrificing herself to save him when he was helpless.
The new version is completely different. It shows an arrogant guy who uses the word "woman" in a derogatory way, calling her his property and bossing her around. When she says that she doesn't have to obey him just because he's a man... he freaking gags her! That's where I stopped watching the movie. She had the dignity and courage to stand up for herself, and he wouldn't even listen, forcefully, with no respect whatsoever. That's a horrible message to give the new generation of women and men.
I am ashamed that the women rights actually got worse 30 years later! Women are born to live their life, not to serve a man's life. Men shouldn't stay helpless babies needing a mommy to serve them all their lives.
No amount of amusing gore can make up for this disaster. I like slasher movies with psychopaths killing sluts and I laugh while they scream. But I couldn't stand watching this respectable woman be degraded. The psychological violence was so nasty that it felt worse than murder. Weird but true. I can understand a psychopath's madness... but trying to make abusing women seem like a normal manly thing to do... it repulsed me.
The story is so different that it shouldn't be called the same way, but the film makers probably tried to use the old one's fame to seem more interesting than they tried to be. Lame trick. The old movie had more depth in silent stares than anything that came out of the new Conan's mouth.
Stick with the Arnold version. Terminate this horrible remake.
Old crap is way better than this new crap.
I guess that if you're a misogynist, you won't see anything wrong with this movie.
Otherwise, don't bother.
Deadpool (2016)
Pay for it to demand more of this cool s***
When they shut him up in "X-Men Origins: Wolverine", I was outraged! But that movie is what I hoped to get and more. I was laughing in the opening credits... That takes genius... and madness~
I suggest that you pay to see it in IMAX, you'll see more blood in bigger details, and with the added bonus of doing a big FU to the people who denied us this juicy pleasure for years!!! Because they thought it wouldn't be profitable, so let's prove them wrong to get more. They thought that people would be too narrow minded and boring to be able to enjoy crazy originality.
I know I did~ And many others too, it became an instant classic. I thought that it rated in the best movies released lately, but it was in a list of the best movies of all times!!!
I just adore his WTF humor. But the vulgarity might be trying to hide a sensitive heart~ Murderers and w***** can love too, you know!!!
Ryan Reynolds, thank you for fighting to have this movie come to life, and the way it should be this time. You're totally awesome, even disfigured.
I'm a prude and I totally approve of this f****** movie, even the sex scene was cool for once.