Sat, Jan 23, 1982
The host for the episode is Robert Conrad, and the musical guest is The Allman Brothers Band. The skits for this episode are as follows: Judge Wapner oversees a lawsuit against Velvet Jones in The People's Court. Velvet Jones shows up in the Wild Wild Wild West. A skit looks at babies in makeup. Velvet Jones and Jersey Guy Paulie Herman give their thoughts on whether some characters are becoming over-exposed. Vic Salukin appears on Battle of the Week. Andy Rooney gives another rambling monologue on the little things that bother him. The Allman Brothers Band performs "Midnight Rider", "Southbound" and "One Way Out".
Sat, Jan 30, 1982
The host for the episode is John Madden, and the musical guest is Jennifer Holliday. The skits for this episode are as follows: John Madden gives a talk from the Cincinnati Bengals locker room now that the football season is over and the Bengals have lost the Superbowl. Would-be hosts and other acting hopefuls are invited to enroll in the Johnny Carson School of Acting. Tom Snyder hosts a new kids program, the Uncle Tom Show, with special guests Captain Kangaroo and Buckwheat. Andy Kaufman comes on dressed as Elvis and performs some of the King's music. Other skits include Betty Beer, a poetry corner, Lou Grant, Mob Nicknames and Solomon & Pudge. Jennifer Holliday performs "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going" and "One Night Only".
Sat, Feb 6, 1982
The host for the episode is James Coburn, and the musical guest is Lindsey Buckingham. The skits for this episode are as follows: For President Reagan's birthday, Frank Sinatra performs a medley of songs about him, Nancy, and the rest of his staff. An elderly couple lets a young boy talk on the phone with his mother, then demands she pay $50,000 to them if she ever wants her son back. Tim takes his family to Disney World, only to catch his wife, Madge the chimpanzee, in bed having an affair with a gas station attendant. Mr. Robinson introduces more people in his neighborhood while trying to avoid his landlord. Jerry Falwell pitches an album of Jesus-themed rock and pop songs. Christine Ebersole is excited about her date with James Coburn, but fellow cast member Mary Gross points out some of the tell-tale signs that James is gay. Dan Rather interviews some of the victims of 60 Minutes. Other skits include unique perspectives, the Taboosters and 'Don't Let It Show'. Lindsey Buckingham performs "Bwana" and "Trouble".
Sat, Feb 20, 1982
The host for the episode is Bruce Dern, and the musical guest is Luther Vandross. The skits for this episode are as follows: Raheem Abdul Muhammed reviews more of the latest films, in which he sees more evidence of bias against blacks in Hollywood. In the Bizarro World, everything is opposite of how it is on Earth, although certain things seem strangely familiar. Songwriters Harry Schleimer and Moe Laub try to come up with the next big hit. Additional skits include advice from Bruce Dern, a ski date with Fluffy, Who Do You Hate?, the Mild One, an unstable pilot, and Melina's Café. Luther Vandross performs "Never Too Much" and "A House Is Not A Home".
Sat, Feb 27, 1982
The host for the episode is Elizabeth Ashley, and the musical guest is Hall & Oates. The skits for this episode are as follows: Dan Rather starts the show with the evening news report. Pope John Paul II begins his tour of Africa. Joseph Papp comes on the show to conduct an audition. Dr. Jack Badofsky gives a health report for the Weekend Update. Harry Anderson performs a stand-up routine. Additional skits include the big plastic bubble, Speaking As A Woman with Shelley Winters, women's party conversation and Loewenbrau. Hall & Oates perform "You Make My Dreams", "I Can't Go For That (No Can Do)" and "You've Lost That Loving Feeling".
Sat, Mar 20, 1982
The host for the episode is Robert Urich, and the musical guest is Mink DeVille. The skits for this episode are as follows: Before the show, the cast compares host Robert Urich with Burt Reynolds. Buckwheat performs with his backup singers, Da Dupreems. A repeat skit about a boy away from home calling his mother with a ransom demand. Paul Harvey gives the news and tells anecdotes about the lives of famous people. Raheem Abdul Muhammad reviews more films. A new version of Dr. Strangelove features President Reagan and Edwin Meese. An ad urges people to go out and treat themselves to fur. Dr. Jack Badofsky returns to Weekend Update for another health report. In a monster movie, a Thing destroys Tokyo. Additional skits include buying a bullet for a hungry kid, the Golden Age School of Obedience, koala embryos, the headline challenge, and low-class Italian theater. Mink DeVille performs "Maybe Tomorrow" and "Love and Emotion".
Sat, Mar 27, 1982
The host for the episode is Blythe Danner, and the musical guest is Rickie Lee Jones (her second appearance). The skits for this episode are as follows: Lorne Greene pitches Alpo dog food, only to be attacked by his canine co-star. During Blythe Danner's opening monologue, Mary Gross confuses her with another actress and presses her to do a series of impressions of famous women. Americans everywhere rush out into the streets to announce that they're gay. A couple embraces celibacy until they inadvertently discover that neither of them wanted to give up sex in the first place. Geraldo Rivera, searching for sensationalist conspiracies, ransacks a hospital delivery room during a birth. Colonel Khadaffi promotes his new line of designer clothes. A reclusive and deranged poet lives hidden away until an ex-con poet breaks into her house and they start comparing poems. A couple at a dance party explain the 50's have returned for the 80's. During the Weekend Update, Mary Gross reports on location for the landing of the Space Shuttle, fashion critic Yvonne Spike DeMouchier rips the poor fashion choices made by the Best Actress nominees, Joe Piscopo declares Georgetown the NCAA champions based on the attractiveness of the female students, and Brian Doyle-Murray congratulates brother Bill Murray on the birth of his son. Tom Snyder, now hosting a children's show, interviews an aging Gumby about the scandals going on in cartoons. Princess Diana takes questions from viewers on a variety of subjects. Blythe asks people to please support serious theater so that other actresses won't be forced to appear on SNL to survive. Rickie Lee Jones performs "Pirates (So Long Lonely Avenue)", "Lush Life" and "Woody & Dutch On The Slow Train To Peking".
Sat, Apr 10, 1982
The host for the episode is Daniel J. Travanti, and the musical guest is John Cougar. The skits for this episode are as follows: After Daniel Travanti's opening monologue, Doug and Wendy Whiner celebrate their anniversary. Rod Serling hosts an episode of The Twilight Zone about a world in which everyone does Ethel Merman. A series of skits feature Larry the Lobster, including: voting on Larry, Larry's story, what happens if Larry lives, and the final vote on Larry's fate at the end of the show. Additional skits include cooking with Marcello, Hill Street Blues, the Bavarian butterfly dance, Career Corner and Reagan brand economics. John Cougar performs "Hurts So Good" and "Ain't Even Done With The Night".
Sat, Apr 17, 1982
The host for the episode is Johnny Cash, and the musical guest is Elton John. The skits for this episode are as follows: Andy Rooney stars as Ralph Kramden in an episode of "The HoneyRooners", doing his usual observational monologuing. When a condemned prisoner insists on his right to a final request just before execution, he gets Johnny Cash to sing "99,999 Bottles of Beer on the Wall". After coming back from another tropical vacation, Reagan opens up a dialog over the Falklands between Thatcher and Galtieri by having them act out a love scene together. Two women test their hair for dandruff by shaking it over Johnny Cash. A wandering poet muses on the beauty of the commuter train he's riding, but the other passengers don't share his enthusiasm. Johnny Cash performs "Ring Of Fire", "Folsom Prison Blues", "I Walk The Line" and "Sunday Morning Coming Down". Elton John performs "Empty Garden" and "Ball And Chain".
Sat, Apr 24, 1982
The host for the episode is Robert Culp, and the musical guest is The Charlie Daniels Band. The skits for this episode are as follows: Billie Jean King joins Bill Cosby in a new episode of I-Spy. Aging hippies have to face the fact that they're entering the Middle Age of Aquarius. A new production of Annie casts James Brown in the title role. A repeat skit looks at babies in makeup. Additional skits include Party Girl, Uterus, Sunken Submarine and Happy Mayonnaise Palace. The Charlie Daniels Band performs "The Devil Went Down To Georgia" and "Still In Saigon".
Sat, May 15, 1982
The host for the episode is Danny DeVito, and the musical guest is Sparks. The skits for this episode are as follows: Andy Kaufman hypes his upcoming wrestling match. For his opening monologue, Danny DeVito invites the rest of the cast from Taxi to take a bow after their show was canceled by ABC without warning. Louis DePalma drives a taxi down to the ABC headquarters and detonates a bomb, bringing down the entire building as revenge for their canceling his show. Doug and Wendy Whiner annoy those around them with their constant whining. For the Weekend Update, Brian Doyle-Murray reports on Al Haig's attempts to resolve the Falklands crisis and accusations that Nancy Reagan failed to return a set of borrowed jewels, Christine Ebersole reports on Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn turning down an invitation to the White House and political changes in Argentina, Dr. Badofsky warns of the many diseases people can catch from animals, Mary Gross attempts to report on the new production of Annie with an impostor dog dressed as Sandy, and Lou Grant makes a try at reporting on the weather only to lose his temper when he gets canceled yet again. After wrestling women, Andy Kaufman agrees to meet Jerry Lawler in the ring. Sparks performs "Mickey Mouse" and "I Predict".
Sat, May 22, 1982
The host and musical guest for the episode is Olivia Newton-John. The skits for this episode are as follows: An ad for TransEastern Airlines lets travelers know that every TransEastern employee is doing their part to ensure your trip is as miserable as possible. Frank Sinatra joins up with Stevie Wonder for a duet in the style of 'Ebony and Ivory', but the result is marked by Frank's crassness. Tim continues to have more problems in his marriage with Madge the Chimpanzee. Rod Serling presents an episode of The Twilight Zone that looks at the possibility of Hitler being in Heaven. Additional skits include Not a Record Ad, Business Talk, Grease, Sports Organ Classics, and The Clams. Olivia Newton-John performs "Physical", "Make a Move on Me" and "Landslide".
Sat, Sep 25, 1982
The host for the episode is Chevy Chase (his third appearance as host), and the musical guest is Queen. The skits for this episode are as follows: Chevy Chase announces from a TV screen that because of a missed flight, he will have to host the show via satellite from California. He prepares to begin the first skit, but a stagehand accidentally knocks over his TV. For his opening monologue, Chevy speaks from a broken TV at the foot of the stage. Angry young artist and poet Tyrone Green displays his hatred of white people through his art at a gallery packed with white art connoisseurs. Joe Piscopo confesses his love for Rose Kennedy and asks her to marry him. John Hinckley announces his campaign for the presidency from his hospital cell. A mystery show presents a scene about a woman being accosted by a land shark that turns out to be on a video screen. Inventor Ron Popiel presents the Galactic Prophylactic, made of rubber and steel and guaranteed to last for fifty years. David Letterman presents a film shot by his dog and interviews Gumby. For the Weekend Update, Brad Hall reports on Reagan sending the Maureens to Lebanon, the NFL player's strike, and a new celebrity sperm bank, then phones up Secretary of the Interior James Watt to insult him. Father Andrew Titus angrily criticizes the new Reader's Digest condensed bible. Chevy claims to be reporting live from Beirut, but is revealed to be on the set of The Tonight Show in Burbank. An expose takes a serious look at a young man addicted to video games. Siskel and Ebert review the episode already in progress, praising Eddie Murphy but skewering Chevy. PTC Club prophet April May June praises Jesus while a faith healer performs miracles in the audience. Queen performs "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" and "Under Pressure".
Sat, Oct 2, 1982
Oscar winning actor Louis Gossett Jr. hosts this 1982 episode featuring a cameo by Mr. T. Selected sketches include: "Sex Therapy", "Mr. and Mrs. T Bloody Mary Mix", "Donahue" and the Commercial Parody "Don't Hitch-Hike". For clearances reasons, episodes have been edited from their original version.
Sat, Oct 9, 1982
Sketches include "Bureau of Weights and Measures," "Opie's Back," "Velvet Jones Romance Novels," "Whiners Want a Baby," a guest performance by Harry Anderson, "In Search of Francis the Talking Mule" (film), "Focus on Film," "Reagan Visits Carter, 1980," "America is Turning Gay," "Sylvester School of Speech Therapy," "Hooker Explanation," and "Nukes Are For Kooks." The Clash performed "Straight To Hell" and "Should I Stay or Should I Go."
Sat, Oct 23, 1982
Howard Hessmann. Sketches include "Killing Time," "The Girls of SNL," "John Delorean," "Good Morning America," "Closet Heterosexual," "Marvin and Celeste in the Caribbean," "Naked Corpse Funeral," "Uncle Teddy's Little Theatre," and "The Amazing Ronco Answer Book." Men at Work performed "Who Can It Be Now" and "Down Under."
Sat, Dec 4, 1982
Sketches include"The Tonight Show, Thank you, Thank You Ron Reagan, Ledge, Rubbers, If You were a homosexual, who would you find attractive?, truck driving women, TV, Pudge and Solomon, Magic Act, The Inside Story, Handsome Men with big noses." Musical numbers were "Gloria and Living a Lie"