When Louis Met Paul and Debbie (2001 TV Movie)

Debbie McGee: Self

Quotes 

• Louis Theroux : In the Telegraph article it said that you convinced him to abandon the wig. Is that true?

  Debbie McGee : Well, I always said I thought he looked better without it.

  Louis Theroux : Did you?

  Debbie McGee : Yeah.

  Louis Theroux : And would he wear it in bed?

  Debbie McGee : Oh, no, no, no. Or maybe he did before he met me, I don't. You'll have to ask him that one.

  [she laughs] 

  Debbie McGee : That's a good one, isn't it, Louis? That's made us all laugh!

  [she laughs] 

  Louis Theroux : You got to ask, though. So, he would be like "Good night, Debbie, let's brush our teeth, I'll take my wig off and then..."

  [Debbie laughs] 

  Louis Theroux : It would be quite funny, wouldn't it?

  Debbie McGee : D'you know what we use his old wigs for now? D'you what they're really good for?

  Louis Theroux : Cleaning the car.

  Debbie McGee : No. Keeping the teapot warm.

  Louis Theroux : Oh, I see.

  Debbie McGee : [laughs]  No, not really! That's a Debbie joke.

  Louis Theroux : Is that a Debbie joke?

  Debbie McGee : Yeah.

• [the stage is being set up for Debbie's ballet production. There is a swan that glides along behind as part of the backdrop] 

  Louis Theroux : Who is doing that? How is that actually moving?

  [Louis walks over to look behind the scenery. The camera follows him] 

  Debbie McGee : Oh no, we don't look at things at like that, we don't film things like that, thank you. Because that takes away the magic for the people.

  Louis Theroux : Oh, don't be ridiculous!

  Debbie McGee : It does! People don't want to know how it works.

  Louis Theroux : They do.

  Debbie McGee : They don't!

  Louis Theroux : It doesn't take away the magic. No one thinks that's a real swan, for goodness sake. It's just a cardboard cutout.

  Debbie McGee : But different people have different ways of doing it and if someone wants to know how we do it they have to pay us for our method.

  Louis Theroux : Really? Is that like privileged technique?

  Debbie McGee : Yeah, absolutely. So therefore you don't give things like that away.

  [she steps back] 

  Debbie McGee : So, please don't... Please.

  [Louis finally steps away but the camera keeps filming the man behind the scenes working the swan] 

• [In one of the backroom of the theatre, Louis is making tea for Debbie while she writes good luck cards for the dancers] 

  Debbie McGee : My husband's a real chatterbox, isn't he? Can you hear him now?

  [Paul's voice can be heard from another room] 

  Louis Theroux : Yes, he does go on a bit. Well, I mean it's nice that... er, he likes to talk.

  Paul Daniels : [in the doorway]  What?

  Louis Theroux : What are you doing up there, lurking?

  Paul Daniels : Waiting for my cup of tea!

• Louis Theroux : Debbie, do you know Paul - can I say this, Paul? The thing about what Debbie reminded you of when you first met her?

  Paul Daniels : She knows already.

  Louis Theroux : Does she?

  Paul Daniels : Yeah. The little mannequin that separated the paragraphs in... I can't remember whether it was Penthouse or Playboy.

  Louis Theroux : What did you think?

  Debbie McGee : I thought it was funny. I'd never seen it so I couldn't really form an opinion.

  Paul Daniels : Very attractive. And the odditiy - it is an oddity in this day and age of who cares - it that Debbie's still the same shape. It's fabulous.

  Louis Theroux : You do have a great figure, Debbie. Presumably that's partly not having had children? Do you think?

  Debbie McGee : No, I think it's looking... People say that, but look at Jane Seymour and how many children she's had and she's older than me, she's got an amazing figure.

  Louis Theroux : Did you ever want to have kids, Debbie?

  Debbie McGee : No, never.

  Louis Theroux : Do you know why?

  Debbie McGee : No, I don't. I just never ever have, I didn't play with dolls when I was little, I read books. My sister played with all the dolls.

• [the opening night of Debbie's ballet production has been a success and everyone's celebrating in the foyer] 

  Louis Theroux : [holding a bottle wrapped in paper]  Debbie - sorry to interrupt - small token and congratulations and felicitations.

  Debbie McGee : Louis! Excuse me, have we got a straw?

  [laughs] 

  Debbie McGee : [kissing him on the cheeks]  Thank you. You've been so wonderful. Thank you very much.

  Paul Daniels : He's just trying to get into your bedroom, Debbie!

  [some women go "Ooooo!"] 

  Paul Daniels : He's been trying for 3 weeks to get into your bedroom!

  Debbie McGee : But you're always there, darling!

  [they laugh] 

  Paul Daniels : Oh, little ol' party pooper me!

• [Heavy rain has caused Paul and Debbie's riverside house to be flooded] 

  Louis Theroux : How much water was in here, then?

  Paul Daniels : About an inch.

  Louis Theroux : How does it look upstairs?

  Paul Daniels : It looks just the same as it did before.

  Debbie McGee : That you didn't see before, Louis.

  Paul Daniels : The bit you never get to see.

  Louis Theroux : Maybe it would make sense for me to have a quick look.

  Paul Daniels : No.

  [he laughs] 

  Paul Daniels : I like you. Not a lot, but I like you.

  [they laugh] 

• [as Louis drives them to Harlow, Paul and Debbie clowning around in the back of the car, singing "Anything you can do, I can do better"] 

  Debbie McGee : We mustn't be this mad.

  Paul Daniels : Why not?

• [Louis and Debbie are talking in the crowded foyer of the Harlow Playhouse. Across the room, Paul whistles loudly] 

  Debbie McGee : The whistle - he wants me go - Woof-woof! I'm coming.

  Louis Theroux : That's amazing. Do the whistle back.

  Debbie McGee : People think

  [does a gasp] 

  Debbie McGee : "God, it's awful! He thinks you're a dog!" But it isn't that at all, we just lose each other all the time, but now...

  Louis Theroux : I didn't say he thought you were a dog.

  Debbie McGee : I know, but some people have.

• [Louis is having dinner at Paul and Debbie's house on the final night of the documentary] 

  Louis Theroux : To the three of us.

  Paul Daniels : To the three of us.

  [they chick their glasses] 

  Debbie McGee : Ménage à trois.

  Louis Theroux : Cheers.

  Paul Daniels : [to Debbie]  Pardon?

  [Debbie giggles] 

  Paul Daniels : You're saying these words, you have no idea what they mean, you know.

  Debbie McGee : I do.

  [she laughs] 

  Paul Daniels : [laughing]  Oh!

  Debbie McGee : I realised after I said it it was on camera.

  [they laugh] 

• Paul Daniels : [using kitchen funnel like a megaphone]  And here we are in the kitchen of Debbie McGee.

  Debbie McGee : Where a garden gnome has come in from outside and sat on my work surface.

  Paul Daniels : Thank you very much.

  Debbie McGee : That's my office over there.