SantaClaus: A Horror Story (2016) Poster

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5/10
Look at a coin, then look a away
nogodnomasters31 July 2017
Warning: Spoilers
"Santa Claus: A Horror Story" and "Santa Claus: Serial Rapist" are the same film. The Horror Story includes a bonus film, "The Druid Zombie." Bill BeZebub fills the film with his atheistic views of religion, his views of politics, and philosophy. Where you are on the belief and education scale will determine how much you enjoy listening to a film filled with monologues, interrupted by Bill in a bad Santa suit raping almost young girls.

The rapes themselves are metaphors. Santa represents St. Nicklaus and the Roman Catholic church in general as their rules have serially raped religion throughout the ages. This is explained far too often in the film. A lot of conjecture is spouted as fact, not that it is bad conjecture, it is just an educated guess exactly where the church got its ideas. Acting wasn't that good. Bill needs to stay off camera.

The film also consists of a lot of amateurish self promotion with background posters from previous films and a web address.

Guide; F-word, rape, FF nudity and a self vagina mutilation scene Bill felt he had to explain in length.
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1/10
Typical slow paced random nonsense
Floated27 June 2023
After viewing a few Bill Zebub films, can say that this was the worst of the bunch. It was the least appealing, least entertaining and most boring. The whole "Santa rapist" dream aspect wasn't exactly clear enough.

Moving at his typical slow pace, the story here is quite bland as it feels like Bill Zebub includes dialogue regarding religion and political beliefs where he thinks everything is deeper than it appears. For some reason, a lot of the women are these deep thinkers and full of knowledge.

As with his other films, there is an abundance of random nude women (more so in the first half), heavy metal/rock music in the background, scenes shot in the woods and a lot of random shots of outdoor scenery including geese, birds, deers and statues. The tone is just bland and nothing is funny. As the previous reviewer has stated. It isn't bad-funny. It's just bad.

The last 40 minutes or so move incredibly slow as these random scenes are added to fill time. A lot could have been trimmed down and the movie would have essentially been the same.
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1/10
Really Bad Santa Porn
arfdawg-119 November 2022
Warning: Spoilers
There is absolutely nothing redeeming avout this attrocity.

The acting is non-existent. The writing is moronic. There is no direction. The writer/director thinks that inserting women in bikinis talking to some long haired horrible actor about Jesus (clearly reading from a cue card) is social commentary.

The commentary is also all propaganda, not historic.

Actually it's just an excues to put more half naked women on the screen in between the Santa rape scenes -- in which by the way, the women offer no resistence and actually seem t enjoy it.

What kind of misogynist is this guy?

Truthfully the entire movie is just porn without the money shot.

It's a horrible offensive movie that literally has no redeeming qualities. It's not bad-funny. It's just bad.

Sixteen minutes into it I was bored beyond boredom.
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10/10
Santa Claus is 'coming' to town has a whole new meaning!
dwaltz12 December 2016
As promised in the title, the first thing we are assailed by in Bill Zebub mainstay Lydia Lael being raped by Santa Claus. He has total control over her physical form and is able to make her do whatever he wants. After the rape she calls Thalia to see if she can discover what is happening. It fits in with research she is already doing and she brings in Bill's character as an adviser since his specialty is mythology. Being a professor, Bill is able to talk to many of his students concerning the origins of the Santa myth and why now he has become a monstrous rapist of women instead of a bringer of toys for children. As he continues to research the myth of Santa, more and more women are being raped and, in an interesting twist, all are pregnant from the encounter. The rapist is also changing his appearance to sometimes look like an elf and other times more of a religious figure. Thalia puts herself under self hypnosis so that when she is raped by who she believes to be Bill in the guise of Santa, she can awaken from his power and stab him. When the stab wound issues green blood, Thalia discovers that not all is what she thought it was and her measuring the rapist in human terms will no longer work. Bill meets with a woman who has also been a victim of the Santa Rapist and they discuss things that reveal to the audience that she may not be human either. When the true identity of the Santa Rapist is revealed we realize that everything we believed about the mythical being known as Santa Claus is false and the true answer is a horrifying, apocalyptic revelation. Santa Claus is Bill Zebub doing what he does best. He takes a particular mythology, in this case, Santa Claus, and then, using pure science and research dissects what Santa really is. He also postulates the theory of a new age of humanity that tells of a time when all the gods of mankind have abandoned us and fled this realm of reality. IN doing so, ancient gods, imprisoned forever, are released upon an unsuspecting population to propagate whatever horrors they wish upon mankind. Accompanied by an amazing metal soundtrack and some beautiful cinematography, Bill gives us a movie that works on two levels; one with the pretty girls and sex and violence, the other making us question everything we believe whether we believe it as a myth or as reality. Sprinkle some jokes in there including the one about how people pay attention better with a naked woman in front of them and you have the logical, next evolutionary step in what a true Bill Zebub movie is. With the addition of lucid dreaming into the mix we can either accept what we see on the screen in front of us as what really happened or we can guess that the entire thing may be nothing more than a single man's dream or, even more disturbing, the dream of an ancient god who wants nothing more than to usher in the Age of Lead to ensure their own release back into the world. Pretty heavy stuff for what presents itself as an exploitation film.
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