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Velma (2023)
Changing a Recognizable IP in the Worst Possible Ways
Before you hate me for giving this a 2 star: I think that the voice acting is mostly fine, and I like the animation style (if it wasn't wasted on this project).
That being said, everything else on this show is a miss. I try not to jump on the hype or hate bandwagons before I have given the show/movie an honest chance first, but from the start of the first episode this show felt wrong. Where do I begin?
Let's start with the concept- I am a huge adult animation fan, be it Bojack Horseman, South Park, etc., and this show clearly wants to be that stinging meta comedy that appeals to young adults and edgy teenagers. However, all of the jokes were just bad- I know comedy is subjective, but from the start of the first episode you have a bunch of naked high school girls in the shower talking about how shows that start their pilot episodes with nudity are lazy and appealing to sex. Being meta just for the sake of being meta is one of the easiest ways to make your audience hate the show, because from the start no characters are acting realistic, or likable, or funny- they are only interested in making fun of themselves or the viewer, which is fun for no one.
Next, lets talk about the IP: Scooby Doo. I mean this when I say that NONE of the characters remotely resemble their iconic counterparts. I don't care that Daphne is Asian or that Shaggy is black- I care that they don't have any similarities to their associated characters. This show is only related to Scooby Doo in name because it would get more people to watch it- which worked, but not the way they intended. Not only are these "characters" completely dissociated from the originals, but they have been aged down to 16 for some reason... in a show aimed at young adults filled with nudity, sex appeal, and the like. Now, obviously, 16 year olds get into mischief, but there is really no reason they shouldn't be at least college aged, whenever they are all constantly acting like insufferable adults.
Again, there were only two episodes available at the time of my review, but I'm guessing if I watched more and the quality stayed at this level my review would drop to a 1 star. But, I do not see a world in which I come back to this show. It is sad to see that those who are passionate about animation and making beautiful stories are constantly in conflict with the studios that control them, meanwhile shows like this get the resources that should have gone elsewhere and give animation a bad name. Maybe I would have liked a couple jokes when I was 15, but watching this as a 22 year old I had a very difficult time cringing at the bad humor and feeling talked down to by a show with nothing to say. Luckily, it seems that the entire internet hates this show, so I don't think we'll be seeing much more of it. Hopefully projects like this teach a lesson to the corporations controlling them, but streaming services have made it difficult for animated shows to be successful. I feel like this will just become another tax write off for HBO max, and sadly more proof to the executives that adult animation isn't worth the effort, when in reality people just want quality entertainment with good writing, which is the opposite of this. 2 stars out of 10 (for now)
Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio (2022)
Beautiful Stop-Motion, Wonderful Story, Great Characters
When I heard that there would be a stop-motion Guillermo Del Toro Pinocchio, I was very intrigued by how he would turn such a well-known story into his grim but heartfelt style: and with Pinocchio, he did an exceptional job in every aspect.
I could sing praises about every aspect of the film: all of the voice actors fit their roles perfectly. Sebastian (the cricket) brings a great warmth, Geppetto feels so natural, Pinocchio is so innocent, and so on for the entire cast. Additionally, each of the characters I mentioned gets to perform at least one song, and they all sound wonderful. All of the music for the film was done with woodwind instruments and it really gives the movie its own unique sound.
I really loved the world of this movie: the character designs were exceptional. You are able to feel for the tragic old Geppetto, Mussolini's physical appearance is a great gag, the whale is terrifying, all of the designs fit right into this strange and beautiful world. I also very much enjoyed the more unearthly elements of this world: the designs of the spirits is very unique, the world of the dead is creative, it all just somehow works connected to the backdrop of World War II fascist Italy, a time period I would never have guessed could work so well with a Pinocchio movie.
This movie is near perfect in my eyes, an excellent stop motion animation which is up there with the greats. I highly suggest you watch the Netflix video about the creation of this movie afterwards: it is insane how much fine work went into the creation of the world, the characters, the story, the environments, all of it. I highly recommend this movie, although do not be fooled- this may be an animated movie, but that is just the medium- this is not a movie aimed at children. While some older kids will enjoy the beauty and fun of this movie, there are very dark themes and visuals, so be prepared to have a talk with them afterwards. But don't let that hold you back from seeing this lovely piece of art!
Diabolical (2022)
I Actually Enjoyed Most of It
I noticed that this show had some very bad reviews, so I went into this cautiously, warning my mates that it might suck. But, we all love The Boys, and after season 3 have been craving more, so we took the chance. Surprisingly, we actually really liked it, although it is not all the same quality by nature. This is an animated anthology series similar to "Star Wars: Visions" or "What If..?", which means you won't be dealing with the same characters you know and some stories are much better and worse than others. Still, I enjoyed this much more than both of those animated anthologies. It tells very creative stories, all with very unique animation, and have very clear themes that are executed well. If they were to make another season I would happily watch.
Here is how I feel about each episode individually:
"Laser Baby's Day Out": Definitely one of the weaker ones, but there isn't much else they could have done with this premise. It is Looney Tunes or Tom & Jerry but with gore, so there's no talking and it's just some shenanigans with people dying. Forgettable, but not really bad in any way, still kinda cute at times.
"An Animated Short Where Pissed-Off Supes Kill Their Parents": This one is the Rick and Morty style episode. It has that animation style, Justin Roiland is behind it and voices a small character, and it has that style of humor and writing. It's fine, very creative at times and helps flesh out the world because you will have people given powers that nobody would want. Has some funny moments or ideas, and as expected, plenty of gore, it's a fine episode.
"I'm Your Pusher": This one was really cool to see, as it is basically the comics for The Boys come to life. It is brutal and perfectly matches that comic tone, because this episode was made by Garth Ennis, the creator of the comic. Really well done episode, it is brutal and it knows how to do it, and it's funny seeing the show that we would have gotten if The Boys was made more closely to the comics. Very well done episode.
"Boyd in 3D": This one is fine, has a very clear and strong message which is told well. I personally don't care too much about influencer culture and their relationships, but the story it tells is very accurate to what we see happen in real life. Even though it isn't one of my favorite episodes I do think it is a good one with a clear purpose and good execution.
"BFFs": I was very scared of this one, I know a lot of people hate it. I thought it was fine, even cute and funny at times. It has somewhat of an anime style, which looks good even though that isn't my taste. Awkwafina is polarizing, and I usually don't care much for her, but I thought she did her character well in this. Sure it's dumb and gross humor, but that's the point and they kinda make it work.
"Nubian vs Nubian": This episode was just alright, nothing too stand out for me. I do love the message that while it is hard to lose people you love, you should not hold onto toxic relationships just because they can be good sometimes. Still, while the message is great, the episode doesn't do anything exceptionally to me in any other areas, even the animation is pretty average in this one. Not one of my favorites, but I still wouldn't even call it a bad episode.
"John and Sun-Hee": This one was a complete shocker, probably my favorite episode. The emotions in this one are very good, I would not have expected this animated short about an old Asian couple to hit the way it did. I felt so bad for John who just got his wife back, and it is extremely creative to have the cancer get super powers along with Sun-Hee is a terrifying concept. This episode looks beautiful, has so much heart, and is told effectively. It was also written by Andy Sandberg which I never would have expected.
"One Plus One Equals Two": This is an awesome episode, and what I imagine most people wanted from this series. I knew the series would not connect with the main show, so I can understand why people were put off, but this is the episode for them. We get to see Homelander's first mission and it is great. Seeing Homelander in the beginning is so strange knowing his current character, and it shows excellently how he slowly started giving in to his own awful tendencies, even though he initially wanted to be the superhero that everyone sees him as. Even showing Stilwell egging on his traits that she would eventually regret is really cool. Homelander is one of my favorite villains of all time, so it makes sense that this episode would be so good, but it is also written very well and is creative in showing Homelander's perspective. All in all, a great episode, and a really enjoyable show!
Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (2022)
Disappointing and Messy
I have followed the MCU since I was a child: I saw the first Avengers on my 13th birthday, I watched Infinity War with my buddies on the day of our high school prom. Sure, there were some misses scattered in there like Ant-Man and the Wasp, but I could watch any phase 1-3 movie and have a good time. I think this movie is where I give up on future MCU movies. Shang-Chi, Black Widow, and Eternals were all average to bad for me, but this had so much potential.
Firstly, there are quite a few positives to this movie. I have seen it twice now, and I enjoy a lot. The movie is bright and has very creative shots, some of the multiverse stuff is very fun, the horror elements can be entertaining, and Benedict & Elizabeth are amazing actors for Doctor Strange and Scarlet Witch. I even think America Chavez as a character is okay. Then, there's everything else.
Where to begin? Let's do the easy stuff. Doctor Strange feels unimportant in this movie. He doesn't really have much character this movie: his love interest is the most forgettable side romance plot I've ever seen, Christine Palmer as a character could have been completely removed. Wanda's character gave me Whiplash: I actually liked Wandavision a lot even with its flaws, but going from that to this was shocking. Sure, the Dark Hold made her evil, but the writers chose to just throw that line in to use her how they wanted, and it feels so wrong. She went from a character dealing with such grief and handling it wrong but learning her lesson, to this ruthlessly evil character that will harm literally anyone just to have her kids that she created back (adoption is a thing Wanda, just go to an orphanage). She has no care for Vision, he can stay gone. But she is fine with killing hundreds of innocent people, even Mr Fantastic immediately after he says that he has two of his own kids. That's a great transition to the multiverse stuff. All of the Illuminati characters are irrelevant. They are just obstacles for Wanda, but only for about 10 minutes and they could have been completely cut from the movie. They all get these dramatic intros as if we are supposed to be freaking out, and then they get massacred- not even a struggle for Wanda.
So the character stuff is weak, but even more-so is the writing. My wife and I were holding back laughter in the theatre during random scenes, and we were laughing at the movie, not with it. "Wanda, Black Bolt can destroy you with one whisper from his mouth"- great line Mr Fantastic, why would you tell her that and why is it so wordy. "Go back to hell" from Christine Palmer while she shoots a weird demon with a glowing bowl she found. "This time, It's gonna take more than killing me to kill me" from Doctor Strange, just very cheesy lines, but during the movie they stood out like a sore thumb to me. In the end, America starts fighting Wanda after some motivation from Strange. The way that America is randomly jumping through universes all movie, to then be told at the end by Doctor Strange that she knew what she was doing the whole time and she actually totally understands her powers and strength, is just sloppy. Then she just embraces the powers and starts punching Wanda with them, it was that easy, and Wanda who can alter reality in basically any way, just takes it. It takes Wanda's seeing her children be terrified of her to fix everything, then she decides that she went too far, because she's "not a monster" (after we just watched her murder and torture hundreds with no remorse).
There is a lot more that I didn't like, such as Strange's weird third eyeball or other small details that add up to a weak story, but I've already said so much. In conclusion, I was excited to see this movie, two of my favorite characters exploring the multiverse was such an open concept, and it saddens me that this is the direction they went with it. The new Thor is coming out this weekend and I am also hearing mixed reviews for that. If they manage to ruin Thor as well, I think I will officially be done with post-endgame MCU. To those that enjoyed this movie: I understand, some of it is pretty fun, and I wish I could have just turned off my brain and enjoy this too, but I couldn't. 3/10, very below average quality but had plenty of good scenes to keep it out of the 1s or 2s.
Bowfinger (1999)
Light-hearted 90s Fun
My wife and I love this movie, it has a charm that is all its own, and I feel that there is no movie like this one. While it has a few flaws: a few jokes don't hit and some of the skits drag on a little longer than they should, but otherwise this is a great film.
Steve Martin and Eddie Murphy are a powerhouse duo, both amazing actors who really shine in this movie. Anytime they're on screen they just ooze charisma, and both of their characters are insane and hilarious. In fact, every side character shines too. Every character in this movie is extremely memorable and have at least a couple of funny scenes.
The script is solid, this story is completely unique and yet has a lot of clever writing and jokes. I know I had said that some jokes don't hit as well as others: however, most of them do, and they hit hard. I've seen this movie at least 5 times, and the good jokes can still have me laughing out loud. The ideas they choose to parody are fantastic, I love Mind Head, the inside workings of Hollywood, Kit's conspiracies and insanity, and so much more.
This is a great comedy with heart: not perfect, but I always have a great time with it. It shows its age a bit, but it never stops trying to make you laugh and for me, it almost always works.
The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996)
My Favorite Disney Movie
I was raised on Disney, but never saw this until I was 19 and my fiancée introduced it to me. It blew me away, I loved everything about this movie!
The pacing is perfect, the music keeps everything moving consistently while presenting all the information you need to know. The music is also stellar: Hellfire is one of my favorite Disney songs, Esmeralda's song is so touching and really shows the selflessness of her character, and Quasimodo's song is so bittersweet because he wants something so simple, but he thinks he will never get it because of the way he is cruelly treated and manipulated. Not only are the songs amazing, but so are the voice actors, all of which fit their characters perfectly. The main complaint I see is for the gargoyles, but I even enjoy them, they add small comedic breaks while still being important to Quasimodo.
The plot moves well, the villain's motivations are so fitting for his character and evil in a way you've never seen in any other Disney movie. Overall, I just adore this movie and could watch it anytime. I could see some people not enjoying the plot or side characters as much as I do, but I genuinely feel that the positives outweigh the negatives substantially. This is a masterpiece to me, one of my favorite movies!
The Prince of Egypt (1998)
Outstanding Adaptation of a Classic Story
I was raised in the church, but I never saw this movie until my fiancée told me about it, and I hesitantly watched it one day (I wasn't interested in watching a bible cartoon, I've seen Veggie Tales, right?). However, I was blown away by the quality of this movie.
The music is phenomenal, some amazing performances, catchy rhythms, and most importantly they fit the tone of the movie very well and help pace out the movie. A large part of this is the amazing voice acting, there are some huge stars here that do so good, it kind of blows my mind that they got so many great actors/actresses which each fit their character extremely well.
I knew the story of Moses growing up, and I feel that there are much more "interesting" stories to adapt, but this movie really invests you into the characters, their development, their flaws, etc. I see many saying it is not biblically accurate, but that was a given. Still, I feel that they did not present any content in a disrespectful way and they adapted their source material surprisingly well. You do not need to be religious, and it shouldn't hurt your experience even being an atheist because the animation, music, acting, story, and pacing are all so solid.
I highly recommend this movie, watch it for yourself! Especially for the time that this came out, it astounds me that they could do so well coming from Dreamworks amidst the rest of their catalogue of mixed quality animation movies. Amazing work, I'd love to see more like this.
SpongeBob SquarePants (1999)
Hard To Rate Because of the Varying Quality
This show was the show of my generation. You cannot avoid Spongebob: he's in so many memes, you'll see him on people's shirts, kids to this day still watch the show. And I hate to be one of those people that say "it was good when I watched it, but now it's dumb", but after seasons 3 or 4, there is a noticeable dip in quality. So how do I rate this show?
Well, the first three seasons are masterpieces to me: some of the funniest cartoon episodes ever to me. There are only a couple of episodes that aren't as good, with there being so many iconic lines and characters. Overall, I would give the first three seasons a 10/10- however, after that the quality becomes all over the place. There are some later episodes that are still very good or funny, but there are some episodes that are just blatantly bad, or gross, or childish without that humor that could reach anyone. Overall, I will give this a 9/10 for respect to the original seasons, but if you consider every episode it definitely should get a lower score to me. But Spongebob Squarepants is an icon that will be remembered and referenced for a very long time.
Turning Red (2022)
NOT a Movie for Everyone, Definitely a Movie for Me
Going into this movie, I was hoping for it to at least be good, but I wasn't sure based on trailers. I was extremely surprised and this movie did a lot of things I did not expect, but it definitely will not work for everyone.
Firstly, this is very bold from Pixar. A Pixar movie where tweens say sexy and stripper?? I don't mind those things but even I thought "wow, that's gonna get backlash from some parents". This movie very realistically portrays early teenage girls who are just starting to turn into the women they will be, and showing the conflict they have with parents who are not ready for them to change.
I grew up in an extremely strict Christian home, and I related to Mei more than I expected in this movie. And sure, she can be a little over the top and annoying, but that is the point- even one of her teachers describes her as annoying. When my wife was 13 her and her friends were obsessed with One Direction and she saw herself so much in Mei and her friends, it was scarily accurate.
I will say that the movie is a little long, but I really loved the visual style and presentation, and I thought it told a story from a perspective that is almost never seen, giving a voice to a very unique demographic. Most people probably won't be able to enjoy the movie the way I did, and that is okay, I wouldn't be surprised if some people hate it. But I genuinely think that this was a very heartwarming, relatable, funny, and well-presented story that I have showed a few friends that I knew would relate.
The Red Ape Family (2021)
So Bad That It Hurts to Watch
I have only seen the first episode of this "show", but I doubt there will ever be much more, as the people behind it will probably pull it out of production soon.
Anyways, this show is awful. It looks horrible. It is not only unfunny, but the "humor" is so bad that it makes you wince in pain. Clearly, there was no team behind this "show" that wanted to tell a story, or make people laugh: no, they wanted to capitalize on a trend that is making headlines and make a quick profit, just like all of the NFT craze.
This is a soulless production that I cannot imagine would ever have actual fans. The only audience for this show is somebody who is so invested in crypto and NFTs that any reference to it makes them feel like they aren't currently at the bottom of a pyramid scheme. Truly just a strange phenomenon that hopefully ends before more people become victims to the NFT rug-pulls, scams, and other general indecency caused by these people. 1/10 for so many reasons.
Scary Movie (2000)
Dumb Humor Done Right
Don't get confused by the high star review: this movie is very dumb and ridiculous with humor that some people will just not like, while also being a parody of several movies at once. However, I am someone who has seen almost none of the movies that it parodies and I still had such a fun time watching this. I guess it is just my style of humor, because I was laughing at most of the jokes and gags, and each character has at least one funny and memorable scene/line. It's just the dumb high school guy that still lives in me that loves this humor, but anytime I watch this with a friend or group of friends we all walk away with a smile on our faces. This movie is far better than many of the other spoofs out there, and I give it a 7/10 because it never fails to make me laugh. There is no deeper narrative, the plot is disjointed, but those things don't matter to me because this movie doesn't need a heartfelt message or intriguing plot: it is just dumb and having fun. And I absolutely love watching it.
Steven Universe (2013)
A Great Show, Almost Perfect
My wife, roommate, and myself all love this show. I remember being 13 when this show was coming out, and I loved hearing the theme song show up on TV but I never gave the show a chance.
At work one day, I decided to start watching this because I needed a show to watch, and after some slow and childish early episodes, it starting picking up pace very well around the second half of season 1. I love all of the main characters in different ways, I love the conflicts of this show and the way it explores characters and relationships, and I find the world very interesting. This show is not for everyone: I see that some reviewers think this show is "too gay" and stuff, but this aspect of the show is only pushed in a few episodes, and there isn't anything wrong with teaching kids that not everyone is straight. My 14 year old sisters are watching Euphoria and Big Mouth, those shows will have much more of an impact on a child's view of the world than this cute show about love and healing.
Anyways, the main thing holding this show back for me is the fact that it has a slow start, a slightly rushed finish (due to the network randomly giving them more/less episodes at any time during production), and the filler episodes that take away from the more interesting characters and larger story at hand. For example, in the final couple seasons there is an episode for Mayor Dewey, Onion, and multiple episodes about Sadie and her band- all of which would be completely fine if they were cut out, and these episodes are frustrating compared to all of the huge developments going on with our main characters that are much more interesting and relevant. The start of this show really plays to the kiddy tone for the first 10-20ish episodes, so I can see why some people would just tune it out as dumb. And the ending forces our villains of the story to be resolved in one long episode, which is just not possible in a completely satisfying way.
That may sound like a lot of bad, but everything else about the show I completely adore. The music is phenomenal, I still listen to most of the songs from this show constantly. The crystal gems are great protagonists, and fit perfectly with Steven, who is just a great and truly sweet character that many kids and adults should wish to be more like. The philosophies behind each character are firmly established and explored very well, and the plot moves in a very natural way. It turned Peridot, an annoying but mysterious villain, into one of my favorite characters because they wrote her so well. All in all, I cannot describe everything that I love about this show, because you really just have to experience it. Give it a chance, because this show is truly amazing- one of my all time favorite animated shows.
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (1975)
A Truly Captivating Experience
I honestly cannot put my finger on what specific elements make this movie so great to me. Sure there is excellent acting, an interesting premise, and a unique setting, but the script on paper is just a rebellious guy getting into trouble with some mental ward patients. Despite this simple premise, this movie swept me into its story almost immediately and I could not look away, even during the slower scenes. Jack Nicholson absolutely owns this movie, but all of the side characters also add such convincing performances. Immediately I was interested in all of them and curious what their stories would be in this film. The pacing is very solid, and I really felt the weight of everything happening in the film. The use of music/sound is very tactful, such as the electrotherapy scene where all you could hear were the tortured grunts. An experience that I was not expecting to have, I would give this movie a 10/10 but I would need to have a second viewing, so for now, 9/10.
Sonic the Hedgehog (2020)
Refreshing Fun
I surprisingly liked this movie. Jim Carrey is amazing in this flick, Sonic was much less annoying than the trailers made him look, and even the generic human main-character was not bad. The jokes hit pretty consistently, the emotional messages didn't feel too forced, genuinely a surprisingly fun movie, I would love to watch it again with some friends!
Now this doesn't get a better score because this movie is nothing exceptional, although it really isn't trying to be. The story is pretty standard, the side characters aren't nearly as enjoyable as the main ensemble, and some of the goofiness is just a tad bit too much. Still, this must be a great movie for children, and I think there's plenty of good stuff for the adults too.
The Black Cauldron (1985)
One of my Least Favorite Disney Films
When I was growing up, I watched films from the Disney Renaissance with my sister constantly. I love Disney and Pixar, and growing up they are still very near to my heart. My girlfriend even worked in Disney, so we want to see every movie the studio has made, and this was one of the few that we haven't seen.
I was very sad that this movie has aged so poorly- none of my friends enjoyed this movie at all, myself included. This movie was almost impossible to stay interested in. The characters are very uninteresting, the story drags on for so long, and you rarely, if ever, feel any emotion towards anything happening in the movie. It was all very underwhelming, and it has not aged nearly as well as most other Disney animations. When I watched Pinocchio for the first time I was surprised at how cute, clever, and beautiful it was. This film was like the opposite: the animation was nothing special, the writing was very linear and uninspired, and most things were just happening. For instance, when Fflewddur fflam shows up, he adds nothing to the movie: he doesn't serve as the comic relief, he doesn't provide any use later, he just shows up and doesn't leave. I have no interest in watching this movie again.
The only redeemable quality of this movie is the villain, "The Horned King", who has a very intimidating design and great presence.
Luca (2021)
Slightly Disappointing from Pixar
I have watched I think all but one or two Pixar movies: it is a studio I grew up watching and still very much enjoy as an adult. I can revisit my childhood movies like Toy Story and gain a new appreciation, even though I have matured they have held up with time.
The bad:
I was excited for Luca, but a little let down. My main issue was the "villain" of this movie: he was extremely annoying and his presence quickly started to overstay its welcome. The emotional moments of this movie did not really hit as hard as they should have: there were still some that worked, but a lot of the times I was wondering "why don't I care?". The parents are pretty forgettable. The people in the city enable the villain and don't do much else except for forming mob mentalities. And the conflict at the end is resolved much too quickly, which kind of undermines the message of acceptance whenever it is handled so unrealistically. After re-watching the film, these problems became more apparent and I was pretty bored most of the time.
The good:
While I did just list a slew of problems, I think most people will enjoy this movie and it definitely had some stand out characteristics. This practically goes without saying but the animation is amazing: the water, the sea monster colors, the Italian town are all so beautiful that you just want to jump into this world. The story is pretty simple in a good way: it doesn't try to make a twist villain or go through a ton of hoops to get to its final act. The main characters are pretty cute and you like to see their friendship blossom. Giulia's dad is so lovable. And ultimately, the humor mostly works.
Definitely not a "bad" film, but I personally had a more lackluster experience than most of my friends. I can totally understand why most people would love this, but I guess it just didn't work as well for me this time.
Olaf Presents (2021)
Simple, Cute, and Fun
You know exactly what you're getting with this: its like 5 short videos, you can knock them all out in 15 minutes. This show knows what it is: its a cute little spoof of classic Disney movies that gives a rundown of the most famous moments with a little bit of sarcasm and charm. I never cared much about Olaf in the Frozen movies, but this worked for me as a Disney fan. This isn't some amazing hidden gem, or a show that thinks its funnier than it is and overstays its welcome. Simple fun, got a few good laughs out of my friends, nothing too memorable.
21 Jump Street (2012)
Surprisingly Fun for the Dumb Teenager Inside Me
My gf loved this movie as a teenager, and I was pretty hesitant of this movie because some of the movie humor she used to like has not aged well. I was planning to sit on my phone and have a couple of laughs when Jonah Hill said something goofy, but after 5 minutes I started giving it my full attention because of the surprisingly good humor. Channing Tatum and Jonah Hill own this movie because of their acting combined with the hilarious writing. It isn't perfect because the plot and side characters could have been a bit more complex/fleshed out, but this movie isn't aiming to be some insightful film about drug use- it is a buddy cop movie that delivers plenty of laughs if dumb guy humor is your thing, and I was very pleasantly surprised.
The Thing (1982)
A Classic That Hasn't Lost its Luster
My dad showed me this as a young teenager and I didn't know anything about it, and I did not care. But while watching it, the movie completely captivated my 15 year old mind and I thought it was an awesome movie, definitely one of the better 80s sci-fi movies my dad had showed me.
I watched it again recently with my gf, and I still had such a great time. I am going to run through the movie and explain why it all just works so well for me.
This isn't a "horror" movie, it is a tense and isolated thriller. Starting this off in an isolated frozen tundra was a great choice, and it really gives you a claustrophobic sense of dread. Instantly, my attention was captivated watching some Norwegians chasing a Husky in the snow, trying to murder it. When they get to the American base you can tell something is up but you don't know what they're saying, just that they are clearly super freaked out and don't care what they have to do to kill that dog. A great opener that leads very smoothly into the alien getting into the compound while we the audience are just thinking "what the hell is that dog gonna do". Then when we finally see it go full alien on the other huskies, the movie has you fully enthralled.
From there, you cannot trust anyone and the atmosphere is perfect, showing you just enough of each character to get their vibe and make you wonder if they're one of "the things". The practical effects are really great, and have made the movie age much better than if this was CGI. The story is very interesting and suspenseful, Kurt Russel is excellent in this role and cemented himself as one of the few 80s movie-stars that I care about. I am not sure if everyone will love this movie as much as me, but I don't think that anyone could call this a "bad movie". Because of my fondness I will give this a 10/10, although it should probably just be a 9/10 because it has aged a little bit.
Malignant (2021)
Yikes... Surprised in a Bad Way
I see that a lot of people love this movie, and I am happy for them. I just could not enjoy this movie, and I will go into that below (with spoilers)
First of all, the plot does not work for me. From the beginning, we are shown that there is a weird human growing out of someone's back (with the ability to control electricity?? Why is it like a superhuman?). Because we see this as the opening scene, as soon as we find out that there is a weird serial killer that walks backwards, I'm sitting there going "oh, so the main character lady is the one from the opening scene, and the evil conjoined twin is killing people". Knowing this makes the movie much more confusing, as the conjoined twin "Gabriel" is an ultra strong and evil being that takes over her body to murder people for revenge. Later this becomes even dumber, when the main character lady beats him by just saying "you're in my brain so I have power over you now" which doesn't really explain how she learned to stop him from taking over her brain. Also, Gabriel apparently opens her head every night to commit murders, and then what? Resews her head shut during the day with his powers until he's ready to do more murder? All just very nonsensical, and in the end the main character lady can lift a hospital bed because "if Gabriel could do it, then so can I".... what? So many ridiculous writing choices that had me literally laughing out loud.
Aside from the wacky plot, the main character lady is bland and I don't even remember her name. Same for the side characters, none of them are memorable or very captivating to watch. The way they use music in certain scenes literally had me in tears, but the movie was trying to be serious with it. Watching the main character lady get thrown into a female prison where they all instantly start bullying her for no reason just to get murdered, I am just sitting there baffled at why this is considered a good scene to many. On the positive, I suppose most of the effects were nice, but that doesn't do much for me since that is kind of just an expectation with modern movies.
All in all, a very very goofy movie that I could not accept as scary, thrilling, or suspenseful. It was funny, but to me it was not the movie trying to be funny- it was just a coincidence of such bad writing and choices. Still, I gave it 2 stars because I haven't laughed that hard in quite a while. Sorry to the fans, but at least you got a good experience out of your two hours. I have no desire to re-watch this.
Venom (2018)
Scattershot Movie, Wanted More
I was raised watching Sam Raimi Spider-Man movies, so I was down for a campy superhero movie about Venom. Tom Hardy is a great actor, Marvel had been on a mostly good streak, but when this came out I never saw it. After hearing mixed reviews, I finally watched this and was fairly disappointed.
The good: Tom Hardy is a good actor, some of the interactions between him and Venom are pretty fun.
Honestly, that's about all I can say for this movie. Tom Hardy is a good actor, but a lot of his performance in this movie feels strange: watch this pretending that he's drunk and it totally fits with the way he delivers lines and moves. The side characters are very forgettable, and the villain even more-so. Ultimately, all of this would have been fine if once we finally met Venom, he had the right chemistry with Eddie Brock and the movie started really picking up speed. Instead, their relationship did not work for me, feeling random and not having the connection or humor that they needed. CGI not amazing at some point. The movie felt like it wants you to take it seriously, but then the main action scene has the Elon Musk villain deploying exploding drones at Eddie Brock in the middle of a random street, blowing up random cars and, again, shooting drones at him.
I would have enjoyed this movie a lot more if it brought Venom in sooner and really nailed their relationship. But because of the movie we got, I doubt I will ever want to watch this again and I don't know how I would even feel about seeing Venom in the MCU. I wish I could have just enjoyed this movie like a lot of people did.
Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (2021)
Mixed Bag of Fun
I enjoy some traditional Kung-Fu movie choreography, I love the idea of adding some Asian culture into the MCU, and this movie was looking to be pretty good especially after I saw so many positive reviews. In the end, I have mixed feelings:
This movie has plenty to love: Simu Liu and Awkwafina carry this movie, both being very cute and funny with good acting. There is some good choreography early on. The lore of the world is interesting.
Unfortunately, there is quite a lot I didn't care for. The run time is really long for the content you're getting: my gf was asleep for the last hour. A lot of the reason for the run time is the heavy exposition. The dad is an okay villain, and I wish that I felt more of the tension between him and Shang. Shang's sister didn't add anything for me personally, which is surprising because I have a little sister that I did not see for a long portion of my life and then reconnected with, so I thought that I would be able to connect to their struggle. The final half hour with all of the giant CGI monsters just did not feel right for this movie. Watching a giant dragon fight a giant demon felt pretty over the top, and I am still confused as to where all of this lore fits in with what we already know about the MCU.
There was a lot to like and a lot that took me out of the movie, which sucks because I really wanted to love this movie. It is definitely not bad and I would love to see more of this in the MCU with a little bit of refining. Overall, I don't see myself choosing to watch this movie again.
The Boys (2019)
The Best Superhero Content Out Right Now
Going into this I knew it would be a subversive take on the superhero genre but that's basically it. I really enjoy fresh takes on such an oversaturated genre, but I typically do not enjoy shows/movies that are very political, so at first I was very unsure about if I would enjoy this show.
Thankfully I was very surprised: the writing, acting, pacing, directing, and subversions of this show never cease to surprise me. When I see Homelander on screen, never knowing if he is about to snap, I am just smiling at how well his actor is pulling off such an effective and hate-able villain. The Boys themselves are all great in their own ways, with realistic flaws. Speaking of realistic, the way this show handles the ideas of trying to take down such a large business and organization is always done so well. There is basically a point in every episode that I would never have expected but it never overstays its welcome. Just an excellent show, shows like this make me happy knowing that there really are some talented people out there that care about the content they are making.
Edit: I just finished season 3 and wow. Amazing! This is one of my favorite shows of all time now, up there with Breaking Bad and some other near perfect shows. Why? I love everything about this show: I am invested in every single character, whether I love them or hate who they are, I always want to see more. The writing is stellar, always throwing in twists but also always staying clever and to the point. The show has amazing pacing, I am never bored watching The Boys. This new season has to be one of if not my favorite seasons so far. Soldier Boy is such an interesting character, the temp V stuff has been wild, and I literally cannot wait to see where this show goes next, amazing stuff!!
Jeepers Creepers (2001)
A Few Tense Moments, but Nothing Special
This movie has some cool things you don't always see in horror movies: a catchy song (although not very creepy when used in the movie), some tense scenes early on, and a really good design on the monster.
However, the bad outweighs the good for me: the main character Darry is so dumb, that he pretty much causes his own demise. If you had a creepy car chasing you like a lunatic after seeing them dump a body at their place and were still lucky enough to be left alive- who would go back and jump in? Later they do get the police, but at this point the movie has gone on so long without much creepy stuff that the boredom had started hitting. A few moments and scenes made me laugh with either the dialog or way they were shot, but for the most part I will never think of this movie again unless I am whistling the song.
The Dark Knight (2008)
One of the Best Superhero Movies
This movie is exceptional, and I would not change a thing about it. With superhero movies, it is very easy to just make generic heroes fighting dumb villains and still make a movie people will like. However, the best superhero movies make heroes somewhat realistic characters that you can root for, with villains that morally oppose them without seeming ridiculous. This movie absolutely nails its characters, and the dichotomy between the Joker and Batman is perfect, masterfully representing the best of heroes that you want to win and villains that you love to watch.
This movie has everything going for it: you are invested in all of the characters and there are stakes associated with each one. You do not expect Rachel to be killed and you can feel the characters pain and the weight of her death. You feel bad for Harvey Dent's decline into chaos because you see his good heart corrupted in front of you. The joker has his best portrayal in any media, being completely unpredictable, extremely calculated, very intimidating, and totally enjoyable to watch all at the same time. If the characters aren't good enough, you can also talk about the stellar writing, directing, cinematography, plot, or pretty much any aspect of this film. Truly an epic movie that is more than just the stereotypical super hero flick.