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Bad Words (2013)
21 minutes, then turned it off
Got this stinker of a movie from Redbox, as it starred the usually pretty reliable Jason Bateman and had good reviews from Redbox viewers. After seeing 21 minutes of nastiness, homophobia, racial slurs being directed at young children (?!?) and the same kids saying MotherF**ker, it was time to cut our losses and turn this crap off. Who wrote this? More importantly, who approved this offensive and unfunny waste of money, time and resources? I get dark comedy, and sometimes being edgy can be made into a delicious piece of film, but this was just utterly useless and completely unfunny. Avoid this movie at all costs, even a free viewing is not worth it.
Jack Reacher (2012)
Boring boring boring...
This movie is completely dull. Dull writing, dull fighting sequences, just like watching a really long and overly unexciting version of Law & Order. Just some weird movie about a guy walking around Pittsburgh and trading short sequences, no humor, little cleverness. I have to have 10 lines, so, to recap, this movie is completely dull. Dull writing, dull fighting sequences, just like watching a really long and overly unexciting version of Law & Order. Just some weird movie about a guy walking around Pittsburgh and trading short sequences, no humor, little cleverness. I really can't believe how total lah-may this movie is, but , alas it was. Oh well. THE END.
Body of Lies (2008)
Why bother?
"Body of Lies" is essentially every Middle East-based/US-Iraqi invasion picture shot since 2001. The US is a bad guy, filled with some deep- seeded spies who apparently can kill anyone in the blink of an eye and with no remorse. Leonardo Di Caprio plays one of these guys, with Russell Crowe as his handler who also doesn't seem to give a $hit if people live or die, so long as his group gets some intel off of them.
It's a fairly depressing movie, not fun to watch and really not even necessary to have been made. If you want to watch a bunch of Arab people shoot or get shot at, a convoy of SUVs roaring through the desert and views from Predator drones, save yourself the money and watch CNN instead.
The Next Three Days (2010)
GREAT Thriller
We hadn't heard much about this movie, and it was a recommendation off of Netflix because we liked "Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit". The two movies are very different, but this one is great because it's something most people can relate to: What would you do, how far would you go, to help someone you love escape prison for a crime they didn't commit?
Russell Crowe plays a community college professor who clearly has no idea on how he is going to get his wife out of the slammer, and has to rely on books, scumballs, YouTube videos on how to make skeleton keys, etc., in order to develop a plan. The most realistic part of this film is that Russell doesn't turn into some criminal mastermind, some of his attempts blow up in his face, and a lot of the people he trusted turn out to be scumbags who take advantage of him.
The ending is very well done, as is the overall acting and plot of the film.
Muppets Most Wanted (2014)
Meh ...
We really wanted to like "Muppets Most Wanted", as it looked like a fun and funny adventure with Kermit and the rest of the Muppet gang. Throw in the extremely talented Ricky Gervais, and it should be an easy laugh with enough for the kiddy-set and the grown-ups alike, right? Well, not exactly. A lot of the fun of the Muppets comes from the subtle and clever writing that appealed to a multitude of age groups, and unfortunately that writing just wasn't there.
Add to that a plot which is confusing for children, and the fact that it was nearly 1 hour 45 mins in length with MANY thrown-in sub-plots that really served no purpose, and this is a take-it-or-leave-it kind of film. No real joy, no real memorable moments (except just wondering when the damn thing is going to end).
Robots (2005)
A lot going on!
Really well-done FAMILY flick that will entertain young kids to tweens, as well as the adults in the room. The film is visually captivating, with a lot of interactions going on in the background, a positive story and a really well-written script that will entertain many different audiences. It was released in 2005, and seems to have aged well, more so than a film like Antz or even A Bug's Life.
Overall, this movie is entertaining with a fun, scientific edge, a fun mechanical look, and an overall positive experience throughout the film. Surprisingly, this movie has not received the same reverence as other animated films released around the same time.
Identity Thief (2013)
Oh my, this film is totally stupid
You'd really have to be an idiot to believe in this premise of this film. Guy making $50K yet lives with a hot wife, 2 cute kids in a pretty nicely furnished house in Denver, and is continually scraping by, has his identity stolen and credit cards maxxed out by some slob in Florida to the tune of $12,500. Then the cops pull him over to tell him he skipped out on a court date in Florida, and they arrest him. Then they tell him his identity has been stolen in Florida, but they can't do anything to the person, because she's in F-l-a.
So this broke guy, whose cards are maxxed out, FLIES to Florida to catch her in order to keep his job at a new business his co-workers started 3 days ago, but looks like it has been in business for 5 years. Then he confronts her in her house, and then drives cross-country with her to clear his name in a rental car. Never calls the cops. Credit card company doesn't stop the charging, nor put in a consumer fraud investigation. Oh, then they're getting chased by a drug dealer who is able to make cell phone calls from prison, and some bounty hunter, blah blah blah ...
There's silly-fun type of movies, there's movies where there's a stretch but you get past it, and then there's this type of flick, an absolutely brutal insult to your intelligence. I'm okay with a dumb, silly film but when it's just this completely preposterous and impossible, it makes me wonder how big of an idiot do the movie makers think the viewers are?
The Secret Life of Walter Mitty (2013)
Not really "Walter Mitty"
I've read the short story "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty" by James Thurber where a bored suburban husband imagines a fantasy-world while waiting outside a beauty parlor for his domineering wife. It's a clever and cute story about how we are legends in our own minds, how we all think how noble & chivalrous we'd be when placed in heroic situations, etc. In the short story, we quickly figure out that it's all in this mild-mannered character's head, that none of the actions he imagines is real.
The movie "Walter Mitty" starts off in a very similar manner: a meek man imagines scenarios where he is the hero, performs valiantly in dangerous situations, then snaps out of the fantasy world and back to reality. Eventually, he finds himself in a real-life scenario where he starts behaving fearlessly to any and all dangers.
What's weird is that, in the story, we know that the Walter Mitty character is dreaming up all these wild situations. In the movie version, once he starts off on his quest, all the events are actually happening to him. Readers expect him to snap back into reality, but in the film the scenarios are really happening to him, he's *not* living this within the confines of his mind. For that, the film should have been called something like "The Secret Life of Ryan Johnson" or "Adventures in LIFE", and not titled from a very well-known work of fiction.
Salt (2010)
Don't Think Too Much and You'll Like It
This movie is a lot like a standard Jason Statham movie: Kinda crazy plot that if you think too much about it you'll easily pick out the holes, people getting shot, stabbed, thrown off buildings, jumping off trucks, trains and helicopters and 2 seconds later acting like they just hopped out of a stretch Hummer, guns just laying around like their pieces of paper, etc.
The ending is similar to that of a Seventies-era Kung Fu movie. Overall, the movie is fairly fun to watch, just enjoy it for what it is -- a grrl power, post-Cold War USA vs Russia over-the-top high-energy action flick.
Parker (2013)
Like watching a "Grand Theft Auto" video game
"Parker" starts out OK, although the movie itself is totally unbelievable. It's difficult to explain, but I'll try: There are people shot at point blank range, critically stabbed, thrown out of vehicles traveling at high- speeds and rolling a dozen yards on the blacktop, thrown off balconies, etc., yet in the very next scene they look and act like they can run the New York City Marathon while dressed up in a snazzy outfit. No limping/lack of use of a hand or foot, need for recovery, etc.
Additionally, vehicles are left running and stolen in broad daylight, there's a network of cash, firearms, private nurses/medical care that makes house calls. It's very similar to missions in one of the "Grand Theft Auto" games, so if you like those and are able to take your brain out to lunch for 2 hours, you'll like this film.
Last Vegas (2013)
Fun rental!
Thought this movie was going to be fairly dumb but willing to pay $1 to see it on DVD. Bottom line is it's a fun ride with several great actors putting in funny performances, and Morgan Freeman does a really good job (as usual) as an older man looking to let loose away from his micromanaging son. Kevin Kline also did a good job. To be sure, there are some silly plot twists but nothing that was so incredibly dumb as to sink the movie, and as long as you're up for watching a good cast in a pretty fun flick without expecting the best movie EVAR, you'll be OK with this one.
Because I have to make this 10 lines, I'll add that Robert De Niro seemed good in this comedy, which isn't really his genre.
Extraordinary Measures (2010)
Pretty Good Movie!
The film Extraordinary Measures is a pretty good film based on the true story of a guy named John Crowley, who has two kids affected by a genetic disorder that is destined to take their lives at a young age. He eventually succeeds in getting research on an experimental treatment that could potentially save his kids' lives, partnering with a gruff scientist who has possibly solved the mystery of the disease.
This movie is *not* the deepest film, and is in some manner fairly predictable, but the storytelling is well done, the acting is strong and overall the film succeeds in drawing in the audience.
For an interesting counterpoint AFTER you've watched the film, check out Roger Ebert's review of "Extraordinary Measures", in which he details who the actual scientist was and a few more interesting tidbits.
Thanks for Sharing (2012)
Waste of Talent and Time
To be clear, this isn't really a comedy, whether it be an indie comedy, romantic comedy or any other genre one would consider. It's about a group of men who have a hard time controlling an overwhelming sexual desire, some guys battling chemical dependency issues, someone who beat cancer, etc. If you're expecting this to be something with a lot of laughs, look elsewhere, chum, because this ain't it.
The movie did have some good performances, although one of the minor characters you just wanna slug. Also, some of the requirements for maintaining the "sobriety" of not having sex seemed a bit unbelievable, and conflicted with having a healthy sexual life.
The Wolf of Wall Street (2013)
Dog Turd of the Cinema
This film is truly one of the worst films I've ever sat through, with useless scenes, characters I cared nothing about, preposterous interactions between comic book-type characters, and excessive uses of f-bombs, penis jokes, bare boobs and butts.
There are scenes which have no purpose except to show how messed up on drugs the characters are; these scenes are shown over and over again, to no purpose. Almost every woman in this film is nothing more than a vagina for the characters to screw, there are no minority characters in a major role, as well as homophobia and insults to the developmentally and physically disabled.
This movie was offensive to anyone with taste, and Scorsese should be ashamed that this crap-ola was made by him.
Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer (2000)
Truly the worst Christmas special I've ever seen
Thought this might be funny, but unfortunately this crummy movie is just shockingly sloppy in stereotypes, pathetic animation, terrible music and unlikable characters. It's difficult to explain how bad this is, or even what the supposed plot is (there's an evil cousin Mel who is trying to steal the store from the kind-hearted Grandma from the title song), but if you've made it through the first 10 minutes of this abortion of an animated special, you can figure out what's going to happen. Of course, if you can make it that far, you might want to make sure you are still alive and have not been banished to a netherworld of lousy television programming. This movie is inappropriate for children, and for anyone with good taste.
The Bourne Legacy (2012)
Interesting approach, impossible execution
Plot line is this: Aaron Cross is another super-soldier, just like Jason Bourne. The Treadstone program is going to be exposed and possibly shut down, so all people affiliated with the program (including Cross) are being wiped out. So, Cross needs his super-soldier drugs to stay alive, so he steals a plane and flies from Alaska to Chicago, then rescues one of the lab agents from sudden death, then they go to Manila to get him his fix. Throw in some impossible high- speed chases and shoot-outs, hand-to-paw fights with wolves in the wilderness, innocent people being executed in a mass shooting, a weird conflict with another UNKNOWN super- soldier and you've got this movie.
The story is wayyyy too complicated from the get-go, to the point where you just had to stop thinking and "enjoy" the cartoonishness of this film.
I like Jeremy Renner as an actor, and thought he was exceptional in The Hurt Locker and MI: Ghost Protocol, but this movie was not one of his better roles.
The Town (2010)
Ben's "Answer" to "The Departed"
I wanted to like this movie, and Jon Hamm and Jeremy Renner do a really good job. But sorry, people, this movie is completely unbelievable. Here's why: The assistant manager at a bank is robbed and taken hostage at gunpoint, then dropped off on the beach, blindfolded. The bad guys take her ID so they know where she lives. After a mere couple of days, she blissfully goes to the laundromat, talks to strangers and then finds herself getting into a relationship with a previously unknown man, who tells her to not go to the cops to discuss more details on the heist.
Come on, what would you do after going through such a life-threatening ordeal AND the culprits knew who you were and where you lived? Move to another city? Stay with your parents or a friend? Quit your job and lay low? No, this woman does the normal thing: STAYS IN HER SAME PLACE, KEEPS HER JOB AND THINKS NOTHING OF TALKING TO STRANGERS PRYING HER FOR INFORMATION. TOTALLY BELIEVABLE! Also, the FBI has about 20 people on the case, but they can't do 24-hour surveillance. Makes sense -- it's only the FBI. Oh, also they can't do a GPS trace on a cell phone to realize that Ben's call to his lady is coming from directly across the street. Yes, I can totally see that.
2/10, as there was some good acting, but seriously, watch "The Departed" again rather than this wanna-be.
Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps (2010)
Okay, but pales in comparison to the original
Saw the film on Opening Weekend, and thought that it was okay. There were some pretty big leaps you had to take which didn't add up, and it just didn't seem to have the same verve, flair and intensity of the original. Gekko's eventual redemption was EASILY foreseen; I'd have given this 5 stars (or maybe even 4), but the graphics at the end of the movie were really captivating.
The female lead of this movie is really weak, almost 2 dimensional, and the relationship between Brolin and Shia le Beouf lacks credibility. Overall, not a bad movie, just thought it would be so much more dynamic.
Lean on Me (1989)
Good acting, mixed messages and kind of unbelievable
I liked this movie when I was in high school, and thought that Morgan Freeman was effective as a principal who was trying to make the lives of the kids better.
However, as an adult, it seems that this movie was all about "Kids won't learn unless you threaten them. If a teacher is doing poorly, they should be fired immediately. It's my way or the highway." Seriously, if my job ever had a jag like "Mr. Clark" come in and run the place as a dictatorship, I'd be looking for a new job THE SAME DAY.
Also, there are some serious stretches of credulity here...
***SPOILER ALERT*** Mr. Clark is arrested for chaining the school doors shut, and is thrown in jail??? Not just any jail, but one that looks like its from a 1920s William Faulkner tale, with a cot and a sink and a washcloth. He wouldn't have just bonded out and gone home?
Also, Mr. Clark hires fascist security guards for the school? Doesn't he need to PAY them, and wouldn't this capital expenditure need to be approved before any checks are written?
Interview (2007)
Utterly unwatchable
This movie is so unrealistic it's absolutely unwatchable. We turned it off about 50 minutes into the film, as the dialogue and responses were just completely artificial.
****SPOILER ALERT****
Katya comes into a restaurant about an hour late, and Pierre is pretty ticked off about it. Their conversation devolves into hurling of insults, with Pierre calling Katya the "C-word". They split, and then as Pierre is driving down the street she sees him get injured in a car accident, and she invites him in to her place to comfort him.
Completely unrealistic. Pierre hated Katya, Katya hated Pierre. Now she is trying to get him into her place? Riiiiiiiiiight.
Don't waste your time with this cr@p.
The Departed (2006)
Really Good Stuff!
We watched The Departed tonight and thought it was really good stuff. The characters were really well fleshed out, Jack played his usual off-balanced but scheming self, and Matt Damon played a pretty nice toadie.
*****SPOILER ALERT******
The violence at the end was almost gratuitous, especially when Sullivan had everyone blown away. The other thing which was kind of annoying was the profanity, with so many "f-bombs" being thrown around, almost as if the actors needed to prove how hard-core their characters were. Aside from those minor annoyances, it was a really good flick, with great acting and directing all around.
The Producers (1967)
What's the big deal?
We had REALLY high expectations of this movie, what with it being ranked as one of the funniest comedies of all-time. This movie was probably really funny and groundbreaking back in 1968 when it was released. There are still some funny chuckles and bits, but overall this movie doesn't seem to make one laugh as well as other films. This movie didn't even rank in Mel Brooks' Top 3, with Blazing Saddles, Young Frankenstein and, sadly, Spaceballs being more humorous.
The acting was very well done, and Zero Mostel and Gene Wilder have a really good chemistry. The plot itself was a good concept, but overall this film doesn't match up to its hype.
Flightplan (2005)
Come On!!!!
Acting: Better Than Average Plausibility: Take your brain out to lunch
We watched "Flightplan" tonight, thinking that it was going to be a very suspenseful film. It was holding it's own, and at one point, we thought that maybe Jodie Foster was crazy, maybe the kid hadn't been on the plane.
***Spoiler Alert!!***
But come on, there had to be just a perfect convergence of events for this thing to work. They get to board the plane before everyone? One of the other stews doesn't check the kid's seat belt? She HAS to go into the crawlspace to open the casket to make it possible for the air marshal to activate the explosive devices? And the plane blows up only the portion where Foster and her daughter can't be harmed, despite the fact that there is highly flammable jet fuel? And they then place Foster/Child amongst the luggage with other passengers at the end of the film?
This movie just was highly unlikely. I did have two questions at the end of the film:
1) How effin' huge was this plane? Seriously, this thing must have been the size of the nuclear sub in "Crimson Tide"? 2) The biggest mystery of the film: Why was Stephany Faracy given a credit for this film, when she had no lines and is on-camera for about 3 seconds when the crew is deboarding??? Perhaps that would have made for a more interesting mystery...
Million Dollar Baby (2004)
Very GOOD movie
The story of this movie was well-done, but the acting is what carried it. Morgan Freeman was PERFECT in this film. Hillary Swank did a pretty good job in the female lead, and Clint Eastwood was great as the trainer (would've been interesting to see someone with a little more darkness, though, like a Tommy Lee Jones).
However, the story was a bit predictable, especially if you have heard just a little bit of the plot or a hint of how it ends. I don't think this is Best Picture material (I'd give that nod to Sideways, because the story and the ensemble were so tight, so believable), but I'd recommend seeing it in the theaters. 8/10 stars.
How to Get the Man's Foot Outta Your Ass (2003)
Acting VERY Good, Overall Movie VERY Bad!!!
I rented this thing tonight and was VERY disappointed. The reviews had this as one of the Top 10 films of 2004, but yet the story was disjointed, not very interesting and just overall not entertaining. I stuck through to see how it would end, not because I was tremendously interested but rather because I had made it through half the film and thought it might improve. Somewhat predictable -- you can pretty much figure out which character will "surprisingly" reveal themselves as gay, or guess that ***SPOILER ALERT*** BADASSSSS is going to pull in the crowds at the last minute****
It's a shame, though, because the acting in this film is really REALLY good. Van Peebles does a bang-up job as an auteur on a mission, his secretary and his producer friend Bill are played dead-on, and the kid in this movie is also really talented. It just didn't work for me.
3 1/2 out of TEN