Reviews

The show is about three kids who want to play gangsters. And when I say kids, I mean 3 men in their mid twenties. But they're emotionally stunted and mentally challenged. One is a blondie with lizard eyes, the second is a gypsy, the kind you meet after dark in the park and offers to do anything for 5 euros. And the third is an emo kid with no distinguishing trait or feature.

They all have daddy issues and they act like rebellious preteens. In fact, the whole show smells like fanfiction written by a preteen fantasizing about what life would be like when he's 25. Lizard Eyes always acts bored and disgruntled while those around him baby him and try not to trigger his teen angst. The other two piglets act subservient to him for no apparent reason.

There are side plots too involving adults but they are no less ludicrous than that of the piglets. The whole show is a testament to the power of lazy writing and pandering to a prepubescent audience with no clue of how the real world works.

I spent half an hour trying to watch the first episode. I kept hoping that something interesting would happen. But I was disappointed. Just a bunch of kids doing kid stuff. Nothing to see here. Keep moving.

Is Kristen whatsherface. Now I don't like Kristen Stewart. Not since she cheated on her boyfriend and was given a pass because she's a girl. I thought I would give this movie a try. I mean how bad can it be? We're all on lockdown and an adventure underwater should take my mind off the sorry state the world is in right now.

Big mistake!

For one thing, every 3 seconds we're treated to the sour face of old whatsherface. Even when she's not talking or acting (Kristen rarely acts. her face defaults to a sour and pained look as if she suffers from perpetual constipation). Someone says something, cut to Kristen. That actor from Deadpool cracks a lame joke, Kristen grunts. Dude, give us a break.

Finally I've had enough so I turned it off and watched Ozark instead.

I recommend you do the same.

I rated it 1 star because there are no zero stars.

Just plain garbage. The acting, the dialogue, the whole concept is plain trash. A total waste of time.

So I love everything Swedish. From Bergman to ... well, the rest, I guess. I also like Stockholm, not the city, which I have to confess to have never been there, but the syndrome. I hear it's quite popular this time of year. I had to get this out of the way first. It's important and you will decreasingly see why as you read on. I was once talking to a Trumpist and he told me he got it from reliable sources that the Swedish economy will collapse in the not-so-far future and it's all because of the gender equality crap the country is championing. I was still smarting from the 2016 elections and I railed against the poor delusional sod driving him into a frenzy. I have this effect on people sometimes. This second introduction was also important to the topic at hand. So back to the topic at hand. Which is this show which is supposedly still alive although the last season was 3 years ago and considering that each episode is only 10 minutes long, it's not hard to conclude that the show is practically defunct. How hard can it be to make 10 minutes worth of comedy or drama or whatever this show is or pretends to be? So back to the show. This show is quite weird in a funny way. Let me rephrase that. It's actually funny in a weird way. Not funny haha. But funny. as in, it's funny someone will find a studio to produce this show. It's funny someone will sit down and actually type a script like that. It's funny the show has a production designer or a makeup artist or that young person who claps that thing right after the director barks "Action". That kind of funny. So I hope you find this review informative and captures the heart and soul of the show. I really doubt there's a heart or soul to the show. They both eluded me while I wasn't watching. Maybe you'll have better luck finding them. Peace.

If you've been following so far you'd probably come to the conclusion, all on your lonesome, that I don't like to twist the handle once I have plunged in the blade. I mean, there's no point, right? You say the movie sucks, I say the movie is bad, we agree to disagree and move on. But when it comes to Cats, it's a different story. The movie breaks all norms and has a daring edge rarely seen on similar productions. I mean, you have to admit this much about a movie where Taylor Swift is dressed in a tight fur costume and laying her elongated body in an open invitation. Never mind what that invitation is for. She could be asking you to pass the salt for all one cares. But let's leave young and feisty Swift for a while and focus on the rest of the cast. I had it from reliable sources that Idris Elba is in the movie and Dame Judi Dench as well. Now, I have something to say about that, but again I'll keep it to myself because this is not the place for it and I don't like to cast the first stone. So let's at least keep it civil, OK? Now about the script. There's a whole lot to be said about that script. But again I'm not going to say it. No, siree bob. Let's just leave it at that. The acting in itself was what you'd expect it to be from such a cast. Except in this case the cast was not really themselves so maybe you shouldn't go see the movie with high expectations. Better yet, maybe you shouldn't go see the movie, period. I see that I did venture an opinion there. that wasn't intentional, I assure you. As for the director, well, the least said about that the better. We all know how cats are prone to mood swings. It must have been hard trying to direct a cast of cats clawing at each other all the time. So I kind of feel bad for the guy. I realize I haven't said a nice word about this movie so far. Well, I'm not going to start now. But maybe if I ever watch it someday, I might find some redeeming quality to mention or even a fleeting moment of brilliance or something. You never know with these movies, right?

Alright, so I haven't really watched the show yet but based on what I haven't read so far I'm curious to know why 180K people thought this was a great-to-moderately-meh show. I mean come on let's face it, the show isn't even in English which automatically drops its marketability a few notches, below the waistline if you ask me. That said, I'm encouraged, if not bewildered, by the fact that there were two seasons that followed. Did the robbers plan other heists? Was it a different cast? Did they explore past heists, real or imagined? I mean so many questions but in this day and age, who has the answers? No more oracles to seek guidance from and all the sages have taken refuge in the mountains. To be honest, I did try to watch a trailer just before writing this honest review, but then I decided against it. I think we can all agree that the best reviews are the ones who say nothing at all and are backed by zero knowledge of the material. So to sum up, I hope you didn't totally waste your time reading this. Keep in mind that following an episode of the show in Spanish when you have no clue what that language is all about will take a lot more focus and brain power than reading this review. At the end of the day it's all about priorities, right? Till next time.

I tried to read the book and gave it up somewhere in the first 50 pages. I tried to watch this show and gave it up half way through the first episode. It's not just that the show doesn't make sense. It is extremely boring. No witty dialog, no interesting characters, at least one. The acting is over the top. It's like this: whoever was behind the production was a huge fan of the book and decided to render it as faithfully as they could. And that was the problem. When Ian McShane showed up my hopes soared. But one long boring scene on a plane a few seconds later just convinced me that it is going to be as boring as the book has been. A total waste of time and effort.