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4/10
Not the worst thing I've seen.
14 March 2023
I certainly wouldn't call this great, and it'd be a stretch to even call it good, but for what it is, (a relatively unknown and very low budget horror), it's above average quality. The actor who played Johnathan especially, Paul Flannery, had such a charm and stage presence to him, and with a good script, I really think he'd do numbers! Unfortunately, Ghosts of Darkness is not that script; it's weak, not well paced, riddled with clichés and bad decisions and missed potential. It's also constrained by the stagnant singular setting and singular only other cast member, not leaving much room for natural dialogue to play off others or more intrigue .

The filming/camerawork itself however is steady and professional. Also the horror/blood makeup at the end is surprisingly subtly well done/eerie and impressive (for the most part), which suited the film and built up atmosphere well, but then the final scenes tainted themselves with bad cgi they did not have the budget to pull off, nor the strength of story to justify needing, which just transformed the whole vibe into something rather silly and laughable rather than genuinely creepy.

Overall, this had a couple surprisingly decent tidbits here and there (again, for what it is), but it's still just rather tired and too stiff/stale to be anything really special.
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1/10
No one in this movie was having a good time
20 November 2022
While some hallmark movies end up being cute gems, this movie unfortunately falls under the category of just painfully generic and lacking in any real intrigue or passion. The characters have NO chemistry, none, the lead is unlikable and just treats the guy terribly the whole time, and every single person acting in this doesn't seem to want to be acting in it and are phoning their roles in. While the premise has the potential for charm, it loses any of it due to wooden performances and an incredibly weak script, plus some absolutely baffling choices like to have the main character's job be a rocket scientist but that having no bearing on the plot. Disappointing, boring, hollow, no feeling of Christmas magic, just mild annoyance. The child actress was a decent casting choice though, but again weighed down by poor writing that didn't seem to fit the character's age.
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Three Wise Men and a Baby (2022 TV Movie)
8/10
A Genuine Gem
20 November 2022
This movie has a lot going for it especially in the way it swayed from the usual generic hallmark movie format/formula, I was looking forward to it for that reason, so had higher expectations than usual and ended up having a pretty fun time. It was cute, the script was good, it was genuinely funny at times and got quite a few giggles, smiles and laughs from me. The 3 main actors were good choices for their respective roles and actually seemed to be having a nice time acting in this, which is more than I can say for some of these made for TV movies, and it still kept in the usual vein of somewhat corny, lighthearted Christmas spirit one looks for in these types of things. Worth a watch.
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Scream Queens (2015–2016)
1/10
Borderline Unwatchable
26 October 2022
Maybe the next episodes get better but I could barely make it through the pilot. Everything about this from the get go is just... bad, and incredibly unfunny to ridiculous levels. I don't even know how a show can have so many attempts at humour in one episode all fail to land even a little. Interspersed with over the top gross face melting, skin peeling gore, it's all mostly just one horribly racist, homophobic and disgusting line after the next, and I don't care if one of the main characters responsible for saying them is antagonistic, they're the one we first meet, they're the one getting the most screen time, they're the one we have to sit through most of the hour with and it's not worth it in the slightest. And I've seen awful characters written well! I've seen this type of humour used to a media's advantage, but this... it's cringeworthy and awful and the other characters do nothing to really balance it out, many being awful in their own ways, so it's not fun to watch! It's just painful. Painful writing, painful horror, painful comedy, and a dismal attempt at trying to fuse the two, despite a premise that a cheesy 90s movie would've done wonders with. Because I love cheesy and clever meta horror with comedy thrown in, I do, but there's nothing clever here, nor funny, nor scary, just... uncomfortable.
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2/10
Burn After Watching
26 June 2022
Actually, save yourself some time and burn *before* watching because during the slow crawling tedium of this movie, you'll have wished you burned it after reading the title. It's not funny, it's not all that interesting, it's not anything really. I mean, it somehow manages to both be bizarre and boring all at once, putting on airs of being a clever art house comedy without putting in any of the effort to actually be clever or comedic. The laughs are few and far between and barely more of a small huff than a laugh actually when they do appear. The plot can be summarized as what plot? With so much potential and so little of it put to use. The pacing can be summarized with a picture of a snail. And overall, the whole project feels empty, lazy, like even after watching the movie I have gained nothing, net zero anything, no enjoyment, no anger, no feeling of any kind except a little disappointment, it is certainly one of the movies I've seen. It's just kind of... there. With a shell of a story, a permeating feeling of utter melancholy, and a few weird sex jokes thrown in, I'm rather surprised none of the star studded cast burned their scripts after reading (makes you wonder if perhaps someone had a CD with information worthy of blackmailing all *them* because it would certainly explain how they got anyone to agree to this), but *sigh* c'est la vie: you're gonna get some bad movies. I'll give it one thing though, it's not the worst movie I've ever seen, there's definitely much worse, which is the highest praise I can give it.
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3/10
Subpar in every way, slightly above par in every ray
17 June 2022
This wasn't necessarily the worst movie but it was certainly nothing special with mediocre acting, the most basic filming and that overall below standard no substance thriller feeling. No build up, no intrigue. While I was somewhat impressed by the practical effects and puppetry of the ray like aliens themselves, the end set design was laughable, the cardboard characters and obligatory romance were hollow, and the lack of suspense or cleverness in any of its reveals and everything else left this project lacklustre, feeling like a shell of an Invasion of the Bodysnatchers type plot (though The Puppet Masters book technically predates the Bodysnatchers book, the latter's adaptation(s) was/were definitely given much more thought). So my recommendation would be to watch that instead (and close your eyes at the weird dog scene).
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Lightningface (2016)
2/10
Bizarre is the one thing we can all agree on
2 June 2022
I wish I could swear in these reviews because "What the ****" would be an apt summary of my thoughts on this short. To be fair, that's an apt summary for most shorts, though some can be charmingly bizarre, Lightningface was all bizarre, no charm, not even from oh so charming Oscar Isaac. There just wasn't enough substance for it to be memorable or all that interesting, the "humour" was equally bizarre/and or crass/sexual, and it mostly leaves you with little question marks floating above your head. Not the worst thing I've ever seen but... not really worth the time even if that time was only 20 minutes.
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4/10
Not a Laugh in Sight
30 March 2021
Nary a one laugh is to be found in this movie, nary a one! I mean, sure I've yet to see a single spoof that I can call quote unquote "good," but at least most of them can usually get one small smile or chuckle from me here or there. Okay, maybe it had one or two decent jokes... probably when Begley's character was trying to break into and then out of the asylum, but other than that, nothing. Transylvania 6-5000 was disappointingly slow and stale and even my adoration for Jeff Goldblum couldn't save it because his role, too, was like cardboard, though it pains me to say it that I have seen funnier pieces of cardboard. (Still love you though, Jeff) And Michael Richardson's role, meanwhile, comparing it to cardboard would be an insult to the cardboard, it makes no sense at all?? I like the premise, but the execution just had no heart or style. The main title song, however, is an absolute bop, can I just review the song? No? Alright. Overall my rating is a very flat meh, barely a meh actually, I'm not sure if it even deserves a meh, but it's not the worst movie I ever saw or anything, it's just not very good either.
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Mad Dog Time (1996)
3/10
Mad Dog Time to Turn Off the TV
30 March 2021
I'm quite convinced that everyone who gave this a good review watched a completely different movie than I did. With odd filming choices, bad acting, stilted dialogue and a slow plot that is so thin it barely deserves to even be called a plot, this was just a hot (or rather lukewarm) smoky mess from start to finish, dead on arrival much like many of the main players in this movie, and a one note symphony of stand off after stand off conducted sitting down for some reason (would it then be called a sit off?).

I'm going to level with you, I bought this because I have a crush on Jeff Goldblum, (hey, he has some pretty eyelashes in this movie, though his lines are limited), but even with an all star cast, it'd take a whole lot of polishing for this movie to shine. Though I will admit Gabriel Byrne's character Ben has some moments of intrigue, it can't save the whole show, and besides, most of the best scenes are already seen in the preview and so it's all downhill from there.

I mean it's certainly nowhere near the worst movie I've ever seen, it has its few small huff a tiny bit of air from your nose marginally funny moments, but it's cutting it awfully close. That lucky son of a gun who gets shot in the the first few minutes of the movie and didn't have to sit through the rest of it though, one could envy him.
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Resident Alien (2021– )
8/10
Surprisingly Really Great
28 January 2021
I didn't expect much going into this because you know how SyFy shows can be sometimes, but I was pleasantly surprised by how much fun this was! It had so many funny lines, shocking twists, interesting plot lines revealed and everything even in just the first episode! Plus the effects are nothing to sneeze at. What I've seen so far has shown the perfect balance of dark comedy, drama, and a wonderfully oddball sci-fi, all packaged into a small town setting, which is something I've always liked. So, great acting, great scripting, great filming, I was hooked from the first few seconds and would recommend. And I just really like Alan Tudyk and truly think this show has a lot of promise.
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DC's Legends of Tomorrow (2016–2022)
8/10
They've Really Become Legends
22 May 2019
Warning: Spoilers
I am in love. This show never fails to make me laugh. It's one of the only things I follow anymore. Is it ridiculous? Yes! But that's what makes it so great. I'm going to be honest, when I started this show, I hated it, the one good thing was Leonard Snart and then they killed him off, I almost gave up on it a few times, I slogged through it for two and a half seasons, and I am hella glad I did. The season 3 finale was the most bonkers, but amazing thing I have ever seen, and season 4 has very easily transformed it from my least favourite Arrowverse show to the only one that matters to me anymore. This is the show that makes me happy, makes me smile, makes be go absolutely ballistic with glee because it is insane, and its insanity makes it beautiful. I think they just locked the writers up in the basement with some drugs and let them go wild, because this show is on drugs, but in a good way. They've finally realized what works, finally found that balance, and embraced it, embraced the ridiculous side that comes with a group of time travelling outcasts, embraced the beauty of their flaws, and their mistakes and their unconventionality and used it to their advantage instead of their downfall. Cheesy? Maybe. But I like cheese. And I'm glad I gave it another chance.
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10/10
Marvellous!!
9 March 2019
First of all, anyone who says this movie is too political are only the people who think it is a radical political statement to have a female led superhero movie. Because it's not! It's a fun, hilarious sci-fi movie with a great cast and great story! There's no politics in sight! None that should affect you! You know what movies are political? Literally almost every other superhero movie! I mean have you ever seen an X-Men film? How about Captain America? Ring a bell?

This movie is filled with trademark Marvel humour, action, 90s nostalgia, a few great twists and just plenty of all around fun scenes! If you like any other Marvel movies, you should like this.

This is not only a great female superhero movie, it's a great superhero movie, period. If you're going to hate it just to hate it without seeing it? Go hug a cactus. Because it is on the same amazing level of quality as every other Marvel movie and deserves at least a chance. I'll admit, I wasn't that hyped to see it at first, but now after seeing it, I am so hyped to recommend it!
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The Tourist (I) (2010)
8/10
It was fun, you buzzkills!
26 January 2019
I don't understand why there are so many bad reviews for this. Sure, it's a little predictable, sure, it's no masterpiece, but it wasn't bad! Gosh. It was fun! It was interesting! It was cute! When did 'silly' suddenly become a synonym for 'waste of time?' I personally thought it was a nice, enjoyable movie with some great stars, some funny lines and intriguing characters. Frank, Johnny Depp's character was endearing. Jolie's character was strong and sympathetic. It wasn't too slow, it wasn't too fast, it had action and romance that didn't overpower and humour. Maybe it won't stay with me as long as other movies, but I think my time was well spent watching it.
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10/10
fANTastic! Funny and charming
13 July 2018
Alright, so I'm giving this movie ten stars because after the trauma of Infinity War, this just made me incredibly happy. There were so many hilarious scenes, dialogue and characters. I laughed so much in the theatre, it was a fun refresher.

No, this does not have the scale of Infinity War or Black Panther or Civil War. But it's still an amazing movie, about family, and saving family. Unconventional and not. Scott has a beautiful, heartwarming relationship with his daughter. The wit and humour is on point. They may not be saving the world or the universe, but bigger doesn't mean better. (Though Giant Man is back, giant ants are playin' the drums, giant pez dispensers are flyin' through the city, and also in a movie like this, small scale is big scale).

People are complaining that there's too much going on. I don't know why no one can handle sub plots anymore? It's got a story that's not just mindless action? What's the problem? I've seen far more complicated movies, so if two subplots is too much to handle, that's on you.

I really enjoyed this movie, and I really want other people to go and enjoy it too.
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2/10
Deceiving, not what I expected.
2 July 2018
Now, if you see the case for this, it reads comedy 100%, it sounds like it's going to be a whacky fun romp. It is not. This movie is a drama, first and foremost. It does not advertise itself as such, if it had, I probably would never have watched it. But it's not even a good drama. And for a movie titled "Madea's Family reunion", it really doesn't show much of that reunion. It takes up about five minutes of the whole two hour movie. The comedy is not funny. It is forced. Some of it is juvenile. There are distasteful fart jokes in the middle of this dramatic web of family troubles.

This movie contains abuse by a man, condoned by the mother of the victim, but then plays beating a child for laughs. This movie contains a woman in fear of a relationship with a man because of a very traumatic past experience her mother put her through, her horrible mother who does not seem to get any punishment in the end. There are many unnecessary characters and subplots, and Madea, the title character, is hardly even in the movie. Then it just decends into some kind of cliched romance. People sing at one point for some reason? It gets a bit muddy. I would not reccommend it.
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3/10
Disappointing, Not What I expected
2 July 2018
This movie is not horrible. It's not good. I don't hate it. I know some people will definitely love it, but it was not what I was expecting, just not my cup of tea. Not the funniest comedy I ever saw, not close. The two main characters spend very little time actually crashing weddings. Instead, over half the movie takes place at the mansion of this one family, which is comprised of some of the most cringeworthy, horrible, and incredibly creepy in an uncomfortable way people. It was hard to watch a lot of the characters. The chemistry between the main friends and the main couple was however good. So, I don't know, if you like instalove, boobs, and incredibly uncomfortable situations, watch it? If you don't? Don't.
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Son in Law (1993)
8/10
One of my new favourite Rom Coms
2 June 2018
This movie was actually incredibly enjoyable to me. It was actually funny and not in an immature or inappropriate humour kind of way, in a just right kind of way. Pauly Shore's character Crawl is extremely endearing. He's quirky, he's fun, he's wild, but he's also an all around nice guy that you are totally rooting for the whole time and who is easy to empathize with. This movie made me laugh and smile, and even at times, wish that I had a guy like Crawl by my side too. It's no film masterpiece and is probably not going to stick with me forever, but it was good entertainment for the night, and I'd watch it again.
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Reverie (2018)
2/10
Kind of Boring
1 June 2018
I don't really have a better headline for my review, this was not a promising pilot episode and that's pretty much most of what I can say for it. Everything was grey, there were tons of tragic backstories for literally every character, which are hard to care about off the bat. It all felt kind of plain, failing to capture my interest in any way except with their special effects, which were amazing, in my opinion, for what appears to be an otherwise lower budget TV show. I found myself wandering through the guide looking for something better to watch. The plot itself could have been interesting. Entering your dreams through virtual reality? Hell yeah! People getting trapped in there and the main character having to save them? Hell yeah! But the filming, acting, and execution makes it fall flat. What should be a magical, action, sci-fi, whatever, is simply a lame full out boring drama. The characters in their debut are not very interesting, they should come to life right away, but they're just kind of there. The plot is complicated at best, confusing at worst. Basically, it wasn't what I expected it to be, and it left me disappointed.
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Legion (2017–2019)
8/10
Why have I not heard of this??
16 February 2018
Okay, so I'm a huge Marvel fan, have been for years, yet I found this show completely by accident. I was trying to find books online when I stumbled across this show I've never even seen so much as a trailer of and man does Marvel's marketing team suck because it's exactly the type of thing I like.

Now, I'm a sucker for the "Person thinks they're crazy but actually has cool supernatural powers" trope and Legion not only delivers my favourite trope, but also puts a great spin on it too. Believe me when I say this show is a trip. Throughout you never really know exactly what's going on but that's the beauty of it. It's a mystery that you're solving alongside the characters as they're trying to figure out just what David is. And I have to tell you, if I could, I would have binged the entire show in a day because it keeps you glued to the screen, each new episode has a new twist and a new moment that makes you go whaaat???

Really at this point, my only complaint is the godawful ugly yellow eyed fat suit demon thing... yeah, that's a thing. I think it would have been more effective just to have some dude in contact lenses, I can hardly bare to look at it, it just looks so stupid....

But other than that, I love the show so far. The characters are interesting and the mystery and twists will suck you in. Granted it will not be for everyone. I'd say you will probably like it if you like the x-men. Personally, I found it because I was looking for something similar to the movie Constantine. Be warned though, lots of mindgames, it's not for those looking for a straightforward point a to point b, monster of the week show. However I do reccommend it.
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Runaways (2017–2019)
2/10
Probably the most boring show I ever watched...
13 February 2018
Okay, so I'm a big fan of Marvel, have been for years. I heard of this show on facebook and because hey James Marsters was going to be in it and thought "Awesome!" and I watched the preview and I thought this was going to be so cool, and I thought wrong. I only watched half of the premiere because honestly it was tiring, depressing, boring, nothing happening whatsoever. An hour in, when something finally did happen, it was the scene I had already seen in the preview so it was no big shocker.

I get it's supposed to be a drama, but for the love of God, would it kill someone to crack a joke? Say anything to make me enjoy the grieving yawn fest? We enter the show into these characters lives where they're all dealing with some kind of issue that's not really explained, we see moping and absolutely nothing happening. There's a little hint of mystery, but not enough to make me stick around... and just man, it's so darn serious, smile already. It really doesn't make a good first impression and probably, judging by the amount of iffy reviews on here, doesn't make a good last impression either. I'd say don't waste your time, it's not what it appears to be and it feels very poorly made too.

And to quote my favourite director with some advice they should take, "Make it dark, make it grim, make it tough, but then, for the love of God, tell a joke." -Joss Whedon
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7/10
I'd be lying if I said I didn't Cry
4 April 2016
Warning: Spoilers
It may not be my favourite episode (a bit too serious for my taste in a family show) The dialogue may have been off, but it's understandable considering the subject matter, but it still drew me in. It was weirdly genuine, too genuine. This episode hit me in the heart and I'd be lying if I said I didn't cry. Although we don't see Mel's mother often in the series, you can feel Mel's pain, you can feel Gortimer and Ranger's pain to get through to her... and then they add the magical element of time travel, yet it doesn't feel out of place, it doesn't feel weird, it feels... normal. Who wouldn't go back in time to save someone they love? To tell them one last time that you love them... If you've experienced a loss, the episode is strangely relatable. Most shows won't touch on this subject, but they got it right and they really do help cope I guess... it made me cry so be warned because I'm heartless and only cried like 7 times for characters in my life and its usually after an entire movie or TV series with a cute guy or a dog, like Marley and Me or when Spoiler, Harry dies in Spiderman 3 and a few pixar films. So yes, warning, very sensitive subject and I will tell the truth, I ran to my room crying and praying to my grandma that I love her after watching this, so I only recommend if you feel like tearing up.
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8/10
Strangely Enchanting
4 April 2016
When I 1st saw the commercial for this show, I was thinking cheesy name, cheesy plot, another Disney/family channel dud they produce these days, but then I decided to watch the premiere, just to see, give it a chance and I was surprised. I don't know why, but it just drew me in, it was strangely mystifying and no matter how totally not normal it was, it felt... real. The filming style wasn't like an ordinary show, it was more like a real setting, but not in a bad way, it adds to its character, and then the kids themselves, they're... real... I don't know how else to describe it, they're not the annoying obnoxious stupid kids from most family channel shows, they're clever, they're curious, they act like they are kids growing up in this strange world and learning to deal with different struggles in a spooky yet fun, almost enchanting way. They're genuine characters with genuine personalities and are easier to relate to, yet they still give that air of humour just not over the top. The only way to know what I mean is to watch it for yourself, I can't describe the feeling it gives me, but it makes you think. It's fun, their are interesting situations that are magical, but not crazy overwhelming, it's a spark of childhood magic, I guess. The show also showcases stories in a variety of different animations and it's interesting to see the different styles in each episode, but also the music, I love the music. It's so slow, calm, catchy, spooky, enchanting. Watch this show and I think you'll see what I mean, I don't think you'll regret it, and if you do, 22 minutes isn't that long... but they still manage to fit in a story that feels like it should be a movie.
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Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (2013–2020)
4/10
Grey... Literally and figuratively...
12 March 2016
Warning: Spoilers
I admit, I was reluctant to watch this show at the beginning, but I wanted to see it because it does (to a small degree) tie in with the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Season 1 was amazing and many started really loving it at its climax near the end when the rise of Hydra and fall of SHIELD in Cap 2 happened and threw the show into turmoil and betrayal. Season 2 (the 1st half before winter break) was mind-blowing with insane special effects, crazy reveals and answers everyone was waiting for about what was happening to Coulson and Skye and the pay off was worth the wait leaving you absolutely speechless and unable to contain your excitement for what will happen next... then we come to part 2 of season 2 and we begin going downhill, it becomes quite the disappointment and is rather anticlimactic and portrays characters being for lack of better words, stupid and confusing. The show is back in the slumps and favourite characters people want to know more about are discarded like yesterdays news when we just really got interested in them. Season 3, for such a long wait, the payout is not nearly as good. All previous characterization is thrown out the windows and everything and everyone is GREY! The set itself is grey, the costumes are grey, the powers, the magic is literally grey, and the characters are morally grey out of nowhere. The thing that makes people love Coulson is gone, he makes awful decisions and is extreme serious, no one once cracks a joke in the season and then (spoiler) they send someone to an alien planet and they make one person become a villain out of nowhere, no evidence, no previous foreshadowing, nothing, just for the sake of plot twist. It gets really jumbled in this season and is extremely hard to follow even though I have watched all the episodes every week since it began. Coulsons character is thrown out the window, they randomly start killing people off just for the sake of moving forward the Ward is an idiot running Hydra plot, and then the morally sound Coulson kills a man (Spoiler: Ward) in cold blood and we have some man eating alien hanging out with Hydra and the government being stupid and chasing heroes... So, my advice, best to leave this show alone or if you do watch it, stop after season 2.
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7/10
And Ned has returned!.... as a teenage girl?
29 December 2015
Um, let's see, well to start off, I must admit it is an entertaining show, but let's look at the reason for that: It is almost an exact copy of Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide which was a show I loved in my childhood. Scott Fellows must have thought, "oh no one will remember that show 10 years later" when he created this. Sure it's funny, but all I can think of is how similar it is to Ned in almost every way. That aside, perhaps that's the only reason I'm drawn to watch it, perhaps it wouldn't interest me if it didn't remind me of Ned, I mostly search for the similarities when I'm watching it and find it hard to enjoy as its own story. However if you never seen Ned's declassified school survival guide, this is your next best option for cheesy (genuinely quite funny) shenanigans from middle schoolers now that Ned is off the air for quite a few years already. Definitely a nice comedic show for today's generation who hasn't seen Ned I suppose, but still in 2nd place when you compare the 2.
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The Flash (2014–2023)
3/10
Well well Wells, we have a winner!
8 November 2015
Warning: Spoilers
This may just be the best show on television. It has everything you could want in this type of show! It's funny, dramatic, interesting, suspenseful and has a certain dynamic between its characters that most shows lack. The characters have depth, they have their own unique personalities and problems, and they all have great chemistry. They also feel like real people, not dark and brooding like batman, not millionaires, but real people who feel, who cry, who laugh and smile. It's hard not to like the actors in this show. Even the villain (spoiler)wells, is like part of the family, you know he's evil, you want to hate him, but you can't! He's just too great of an actor, too amazing of a character to hate despite everything and that's something hard to come by in a TV show. It really makes you want even more of the show just for the dynamic of Barry and Dr. Wells. (End spoiler) Then we have Barry himself, he's not your average hero, he's young, he's plucky and smart, and even though he has been through great tragedy with his mother's murderer, he doesn't let that keep him back, he tries to fix what was done on that night yes, but he also knows somethings can't change and he has to keep moving forward and helping others. Cisco is my personal favourite, funny, nerdy, adorable, and yet so interesting story wise especially with what's been happening to him at the end of season 1 and start of season 2. Let's not forget the actual visual effects of this show! They're breathtaking and even better than some movies. Wide camera shops really give it a unique view when we see the flash and all the powers of the meta humans are in full glorious spectacle without being too over the top. I can never wait for the next episode of this show to premiere, and while the 2 season premieres I must admit were slightly lack-luster, there was that one or 2 mysterious scenes in the both of them that made me have to see what would happen next, then it just kept getting better and better that I couldn't even keep up with the awesomeness! To sum it up, Flash is life! :)
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