Saw this on a dvd. The trailer was good n i was in the mood to check out some slasher film. What a rubbish n awful film this turned out to b. There were sufficient reviews on imdb warning not to see this trash but sometimes u jus dont wanna listen to good advise.
The films opening scene was beautifully shot, the farms, the lush greens n those isolated houses. That was one of its good thing from its total two.
We get to see a very young girl, a calvin klein model with her dog in the middle of nowhere rural side doing only the director knows what.
Later v get to c a group of youngsters who all r visiting the farmhouse of their friend. Lots of hot babes but zero nudity. A sex scene without any nudity, another sex scene without anybody, jus a wagon moving.
A small girl knows how to fire a gun, she knows how to tame horses n she can even do psychotherapy with the killer but she is scared of the bogeyman from the closets n under the bed.
A benchmark for any good slasher is some good slashings, brutality, nudity, scream queen n a decent killer.
All these r missing in this trash film. Forget about the character development, the killings r offscreen n boring, there is absolutely zero suspense n tension. The killer looked like a cartoon.
Killing somebody by mistake cos of sudden pop up during hiding or chase scene is been done umpteenth number of times.
The ending was kinda meh n one can easily guess. The phrase, out of the frying pan into the fire has been done so many times.
The old creepy guys acting n his hand scene were good. This is the second good thing in the film.
No explanation of any kind regarding the pitchfork. Mayb i didn't follow cos i forwarded some scenes to finish it.
67 Reviews
Meet Me at the Barn Dance!
dcarsonhagy9 February 2017
Warning: Spoilers
"Pitchfork" is, well, just pitiful. It is a terrible throw-back to 80s slasher pics chock full of girls who wanna do anything that moves. It centers around Hunter, a "just out" gay guy who decides to bring a bunch of friends home so he can finally face his parents. Whilst there he and his friends decide to have a barn dance and Pitchfork is introduced.
Had the director just stopped the story here, I would have given it a better review. But, for whatever reason, he decides to turn up the gore, violence, and...incest. There are some absolutely sickening scenes between the mother and son that I found repulsive. As I've stated many, many times before: sometimes less IS more.
I will not give this movie a "1" rating because I did like some of the shots in the movie. However, I will say this: if you have supposedly shot a horror movie and the best thing about it is a very well choreographed dance scene, albeit one that sticks out like a turd in a punch bowl, well, you've missed your mark.
Rated R for bloody horror violence, hints of rape and incest. Not recommended.
Had the director just stopped the story here, I would have given it a better review. But, for whatever reason, he decides to turn up the gore, violence, and...incest. There are some absolutely sickening scenes between the mother and son that I found repulsive. As I've stated many, many times before: sometimes less IS more.
I will not give this movie a "1" rating because I did like some of the shots in the movie. However, I will say this: if you have supposedly shot a horror movie and the best thing about it is a very well choreographed dance scene, albeit one that sticks out like a turd in a punch bowl, well, you've missed your mark.
Rated R for bloody horror violence, hints of rape and incest. Not recommended.
Terrible
barry-steers7 January 2017
I had high hopes for this movie. The very opening scene cinematography was quite good but unfortunately that was it. There are many things wrong with this film; some really bad acting, poorly edited scenes, lack of pace, devoid of menace and atmosphere to this wannabe slasher movie. It also was illogical and had many plot holes. The constant back lit fog effect was clichéd and so poorly executed as if the production wanted to get their money's worth from the fog machine even when the conditions made it look ludicrous. I think the director watched Nightmare On Elm Street as he plagiarized quite a few scenes but alas, Freddy Krueger was infinitely more menacing than this clown in a furry mask. This whole movie was a tired, badly acted and amateurish affair. It wasn't the worst movie I've seen but it's certainly not one I'd recommend.
You'll hate yourself for watching this!
davillain-9210919 January 2017
Warning: Spoilers
This may end up being a long read, but please bear with me. I of course watched this film based on a trailer of it that I saw on YT. I should've known this film was going to be atrocious but I have a habit of giving certain things the benefit of the doubt. I definitely need to kick this habit.
'Pitchfork' was so lame 'Plan 9 from outer space' is a masterpiece compared to it. From beginning to end Pitchfork was agony to watch. Incredibly bad, extremely bad writing, the camera shots were all over the place. Put it like this...think of everything bad that you hate about horror films and I'm willing to bet this film had it. I saw one review on here that stated "Great story-line"....what story-line, there was none?!
I know most of you who read this saw scenes in films that had lighting that comes through the trees for effects sake, well this film had lights coming through the trees, and the thing was...the lights were friggin ultra bright, as if they used a couple of Hollywood premier spotlights?! It made no sense.
And I can't count how many time the 'killer' kept popping up from behind things...no literally rising up, from an obvious kneeling position into camera view. And the kills themselves...lame lame lame. Some kills were off camera or implied via sound effects. Oooooh I almost forgot to mention one of the first kills. Which involves a young girl who I think was at the very least 11-12yrs old, who asked her father to check her closet for father who check her closet for monsters...this after she had sneaked back into her bedroom (via window) from coming from the big barn shindig. So the father goes to check the closet....no monster. He goes to leave and she saids "You didn't check under the bed". So Dad kneels down and looks under the bed...cue sound effects of a wet vicious stabbing. "Dad...dad...dad" as the girl saids this...a pitchfork comes bursting up through the bed...cut scene. Later in the 3rd act we find out he didn't kill the 12yr old, instead he keeps her alive in a section of his shed, secured or should I say caged behind a spring metal bed frame. This was weird because he killed all but 2 of the main 8 college kids, not including the 12yr old's mom and dad, two cops and his own mom. I sat there watching him play with a few of the dead bodies he had propped up against his shed, so what the hell did he keep the 12yr old for?! Here's another dumb thing...he kills one of the girls in a cornfield and walks away...through the cornfield, in the next shot we see arriving back at his shed...CARRYING this same girl?1
4 of the 8 main college kids were somewhat hot girls, not bad looking at all...and you guessed it...not one nude scene. Oh there was a couple of sex scenes...with one that had the girl riding a guy with her SHORTS ON, and a bra. The other sex scene was implied via a rocking Amish covered wagon. Maybe if they didn't spend the majority of the budget on the lighting they could've afford a tit or two...just saying.
The thing that really got me was 'Pitchfork' had the look of a modestly budgeted film, the color schemes were nice, but again the film budget was wasted on all the film stock and probably the lighting (you'll see what I mean).
Pitchfork won like 10 film award which included jury prizes, I wonder who were some of the people on those juries...I'm guessing Cory Feldman, Dave Thomas's daughter Wendy and my neighbor Tim who works at the tomato factory, to name a few.
Trust me you're gonna hate yourself for watching this film. IMDb should change the rating system, because I would give this film a negative '0' to 5th power!
'Pitchfork' was so lame 'Plan 9 from outer space' is a masterpiece compared to it. From beginning to end Pitchfork was agony to watch. Incredibly bad, extremely bad writing, the camera shots were all over the place. Put it like this...think of everything bad that you hate about horror films and I'm willing to bet this film had it. I saw one review on here that stated "Great story-line"....what story-line, there was none?!
I know most of you who read this saw scenes in films that had lighting that comes through the trees for effects sake, well this film had lights coming through the trees, and the thing was...the lights were friggin ultra bright, as if they used a couple of Hollywood premier spotlights?! It made no sense.
And I can't count how many time the 'killer' kept popping up from behind things...no literally rising up, from an obvious kneeling position into camera view. And the kills themselves...lame lame lame. Some kills were off camera or implied via sound effects. Oooooh I almost forgot to mention one of the first kills. Which involves a young girl who I think was at the very least 11-12yrs old, who asked her father to check her closet for father who check her closet for monsters...this after she had sneaked back into her bedroom (via window) from coming from the big barn shindig. So the father goes to check the closet....no monster. He goes to leave and she saids "You didn't check under the bed". So Dad kneels down and looks under the bed...cue sound effects of a wet vicious stabbing. "Dad...dad...dad" as the girl saids this...a pitchfork comes bursting up through the bed...cut scene. Later in the 3rd act we find out he didn't kill the 12yr old, instead he keeps her alive in a section of his shed, secured or should I say caged behind a spring metal bed frame. This was weird because he killed all but 2 of the main 8 college kids, not including the 12yr old's mom and dad, two cops and his own mom. I sat there watching him play with a few of the dead bodies he had propped up against his shed, so what the hell did he keep the 12yr old for?! Here's another dumb thing...he kills one of the girls in a cornfield and walks away...through the cornfield, in the next shot we see arriving back at his shed...CARRYING this same girl?1
4 of the 8 main college kids were somewhat hot girls, not bad looking at all...and you guessed it...not one nude scene. Oh there was a couple of sex scenes...with one that had the girl riding a guy with her SHORTS ON, and a bra. The other sex scene was implied via a rocking Amish covered wagon. Maybe if they didn't spend the majority of the budget on the lighting they could've afford a tit or two...just saying.
The thing that really got me was 'Pitchfork' had the look of a modestly budgeted film, the color schemes were nice, but again the film budget was wasted on all the film stock and probably the lighting (you'll see what I mean).
Pitchfork won like 10 film award which included jury prizes, I wonder who were some of the people on those juries...I'm guessing Cory Feldman, Dave Thomas's daughter Wendy and my neighbor Tim who works at the tomato factory, to name a few.
Trust me you're gonna hate yourself for watching this film. IMDb should change the rating system, because I would give this film a negative '0' to 5th power!
The worst most confusing 'horror?' title i've ever seen 25 minutes of
mastercreeptheater10 January 2017
Warning: Spoilers
I'm just gonna ramble cause... i'm gonna.
The cast is annoyingly diverse. I get needing racial diversity but you have nearly one of everything stuffed into a van, for no real reason. Did you need this many characters? They added nothing but questions and aggravation, and showcases for awful writing.
And who would hang with this stupid jock *censored* character in the varsity jacket? 'Just Don't Be Gay' might be the stupidest comment anyone could write for anyone. Who would hang out with that person? Who still thinks that and goes to college?
AND WHAT THE *censored* ARE THESE KIDS WEARING!? The costume designer was huffing whip its during her stint with this director, leaving us with a woman who looks like she's about to take the stage to sing 'i'm so excited' and a greaser varsity jacket wearing *censored* canoe from the 50's with a greaser hair cut, and a jersey shore girl who looks like she'd be more at home following Enzo and Cass to ringside!
And the father of our gay main character is as old as the damn son! You can't just grab an actor and give him silver bangs and call him daddy to secure peoples belief in his position! If I put myself in front of a camera and walked up to a toddler of 4 years old with a silver dye job and started telling him 'daddy i missed you' NO ONE WOULD BY IT, OF COARSE THEY WOULDN'T, BECAUSE IT'S A TODDLER WITH A HAIR JOB.
There's so many things that stick out like a splinter in my *censored* about every scene of this movie I find it nearly impossible to pass twenty minutes without forming a brand new kidney stone in my body waiting to destroy my urinary tract. I can only assume an hour would mean brain tumors and chemo the rest of my life.
Like
Why was the dad just sitting on his porch wearing work gloves with no project materials around? no saw horses, no power tools, just him sitting with work gloves on. Take off the gloves, you're doing nothing!
And this little girl of maybe 14 pulled 3 calves from cows? Cows? Like the giant two ton things that are pregnant and probably don't want hands up inside of them taking their kid away, cows? I would imagine that's a job for at least 2 grown *censored* men, and not a preteen.
And who in the loving *censored* drives down the road in a van that says 'honk if you're horny' on the side of it like a banner? It's got rainbows and *censored* all over it, it's almost like the writer was trying to pull a Friday the 13th and make us beg for this kids to die.
And the *censored* barn party, consisting of a whole rave clubs worth of gear that i swear couldn't fit in a mac truck let alone a van already piled down with an entire semester of college kids.
Every moment of this movie causes me significant agony, and every five to ten seconds i find myself holding my face in my hands chanting the mantra 'oh god, oh Jesus, oh god' because i can't wrap my head around how a person could make this level of cinema and call it okay with a stamp of approval! The anti-ugly people club and their magic club-gear- holding van do not make me want to watch them die, they make me want to not watch.
And at the end of the day someone put so much time and effort and money into this project only to have it turn out like this.
You know what... see this movie. Watch this movie. Do it. I think it's a marvel of film making in it's own right. You should do it just for the experience. And if you want to die that night, make a drinking game out of it. Every time you involuntarily go 'oh god, oh Jesus, oh god' take a shot.
Thanks for the ramble spot.
The cast is annoyingly diverse. I get needing racial diversity but you have nearly one of everything stuffed into a van, for no real reason. Did you need this many characters? They added nothing but questions and aggravation, and showcases for awful writing.
And who would hang with this stupid jock *censored* character in the varsity jacket? 'Just Don't Be Gay' might be the stupidest comment anyone could write for anyone. Who would hang out with that person? Who still thinks that and goes to college?
AND WHAT THE *censored* ARE THESE KIDS WEARING!? The costume designer was huffing whip its during her stint with this director, leaving us with a woman who looks like she's about to take the stage to sing 'i'm so excited' and a greaser varsity jacket wearing *censored* canoe from the 50's with a greaser hair cut, and a jersey shore girl who looks like she'd be more at home following Enzo and Cass to ringside!
And the father of our gay main character is as old as the damn son! You can't just grab an actor and give him silver bangs and call him daddy to secure peoples belief in his position! If I put myself in front of a camera and walked up to a toddler of 4 years old with a silver dye job and started telling him 'daddy i missed you' NO ONE WOULD BY IT, OF COARSE THEY WOULDN'T, BECAUSE IT'S A TODDLER WITH A HAIR JOB.
There's so many things that stick out like a splinter in my *censored* about every scene of this movie I find it nearly impossible to pass twenty minutes without forming a brand new kidney stone in my body waiting to destroy my urinary tract. I can only assume an hour would mean brain tumors and chemo the rest of my life.
Like
Why was the dad just sitting on his porch wearing work gloves with no project materials around? no saw horses, no power tools, just him sitting with work gloves on. Take off the gloves, you're doing nothing!
And this little girl of maybe 14 pulled 3 calves from cows? Cows? Like the giant two ton things that are pregnant and probably don't want hands up inside of them taking their kid away, cows? I would imagine that's a job for at least 2 grown *censored* men, and not a preteen.
And who in the loving *censored* drives down the road in a van that says 'honk if you're horny' on the side of it like a banner? It's got rainbows and *censored* all over it, it's almost like the writer was trying to pull a Friday the 13th and make us beg for this kids to die.
And the *censored* barn party, consisting of a whole rave clubs worth of gear that i swear couldn't fit in a mac truck let alone a van already piled down with an entire semester of college kids.
Every moment of this movie causes me significant agony, and every five to ten seconds i find myself holding my face in my hands chanting the mantra 'oh god, oh Jesus, oh god' because i can't wrap my head around how a person could make this level of cinema and call it okay with a stamp of approval! The anti-ugly people club and their magic club-gear- holding van do not make me want to watch them die, they make me want to not watch.
And at the end of the day someone put so much time and effort and money into this project only to have it turn out like this.
You know what... see this movie. Watch this movie. Do it. I think it's a marvel of film making in it's own right. You should do it just for the experience. And if you want to die that night, make a drinking game out of it. Every time you involuntarily go 'oh god, oh Jesus, oh god' take a shot.
Thanks for the ramble spot.
One of the worst things.
freddmarshall12 January 2017
This POS movie was like if S Club 7 tried to make a horror movie. It was awful. The acting. The script. The cinematography. Hackneyed doesn't begin to cover it. Nothing about it made sense. Trite clichés abound. Avoid at all costs. Not even worth a "so bad its good" watch. Burn all the copies. Purge it from history. What more can be said about something which is in equal parts insulting, dumb, poorly crafted, idiotic, illogical, clichéd, boring and s**t.
My god, how many goddamn spotlights does one farmer have strewn around his property. Shining into the goddamn camera.
The barn dance scene was where I knew I had made a huge huge mistake.
I get it, you are from New York. That van made me angry. It was like someone who has never seen a movie decided to make a movie. AVOID.
My god, how many goddamn spotlights does one farmer have strewn around his property. Shining into the goddamn camera.
The barn dance scene was where I knew I had made a huge huge mistake.
I get it, you are from New York. That van made me angry. It was like someone who has never seen a movie decided to make a movie. AVOID.
Ugghhh......
saweetness-241458 January 2017
Right from the get go I hated every character in this movie. The acting was atrocious except from the two actors portraying the parents in the final act. There was no real emotion coming from any character. That whole barn dance scene, cuz you know, every New Yorker knows how to do a perfectly choreographed line dance. Once we get into the killing there was nothing new here. Just your typical death by numbers tropes. Not to mention that we don't even really get to see any of the kills. If your looking for gore, look elsewhere, except for a couple scenes near the end. And even then it's nothing that makes you go "whoa that was brutal". As for the killer himself I have no clue as to why they made him act like some sort of animal. All in all avoid this or you'll want to put a pitchfork in your eyes.
Ultra Rotten Tomatoe Movie
maguecpa7 January 2017
Horrible movie. The ideas were taken from Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and the plot was almost a carbon copy of it, that was very obvious. Some of the dialog used by the actors, especially the young ones was really out of place for a so called horror movie and I found myself rolling my eyes at it. Acting was horrible, no jump scares, no gore. Apart from being a horrible movie with a some what copied plot and horrible acting, the movie had no horror in it at all. I sat through the movie just to see if it could get any worse as it progressed, and believe me, it did not disappoint. This movie really puts the "LOW" in Low Budget. Complete lack of originality in every way. I give it 2 thumbs down just because of lack of more thumbs. 0 star rating here.
Absolutely terrible
Boristhemoggy12 January 2017
When writing a review I do try and start off with a good point if there is one: the good point about this movie is...you can turn it off and throw the DVD in the bin and prevent yourself from ever subjecting your mind to anything as awful again.
The lighting was awful, I mean really bad. You can even see lights and reflectors being moved during a shot.
The direction is non-existent. That can be the only explanation for such dire non-acting. Not one single one of the cast has any saving graces.
The editing is slapdash and random, but then that fits perfectly in with the story and everything else about this movie.
The acting is...missing! no-one acts, I could never validate their efforts by saying that they acted badly, because that's at least acting, which is more than the cast do.
It's way less horrific than a visit from the mother in law. Seriously, don't waste your time.
The lighting was awful, I mean really bad. You can even see lights and reflectors being moved during a shot.
The direction is non-existent. That can be the only explanation for such dire non-acting. Not one single one of the cast has any saving graces.
The editing is slapdash and random, but then that fits perfectly in with the story and everything else about this movie.
The acting is...missing! no-one acts, I could never validate their efforts by saying that they acted badly, because that's at least acting, which is more than the cast do.
It's way less horrific than a visit from the mother in law. Seriously, don't waste your time.
What.Garbage
stephanstruve14 January 2017
Warning: Spoilers
Where do I start? This movie should be a parody, but it isn't. Save yourself 90 minutes and don't watch this. This is by far the worst movie I have ever seen my life, and I can tell you I have seen a lot of bad movies.
The plot makes no sense, the camera angles are taken by midgets, there is fog everywhere, beast boy is overreacting, and the best part of the whole movie is probably an old reclusive lady peeing into a jar...let this be a warning: do.not.watch.
I wish I could those 90 minutes back. Grabbing my pitchfork to hunt that producer....
The plot makes no sense, the camera angles are taken by midgets, there is fog everywhere, beast boy is overreacting, and the best part of the whole movie is probably an old reclusive lady peeing into a jar...let this be a warning: do.not.watch.
I wish I could those 90 minutes back. Grabbing my pitchfork to hunt that producer....
Sets the Bar High for Indie Horrors
sadkins-3331519 January 2017
I loved this exciting slasher. Pitchfork is a menacing new character who's savage tendencies make him quite the monster. I thought the setting of this movie was pretty beautiful. The shots are very crisp and clean, uncharacteristic of most horror films, but it makes this micro budget film look pretty nice. Despite a few shortcomings at times--some of the acting & special effects--this movie sets the bar high for other low budget indie horrors. This film contained plenty of blood, scares, chases, and screams, but at times also left its audience laughing. There were some pretty funny lines including some very-douche bag remarks from the jock character. Pitchfork as a film has a lot of vision: this original concept was executed very well considering the budget of this movie. It definitely has franchise potential! I'll definitely be on the look out for a Pitchfork sequel!
He's got the whole world in his hands
nogodnomasters29 July 2017
Warning: Spoilers
Hunter Killian (Brian Raetz) is a farm boy who went off to college. He is gay and is coming home with a group of supportive friends. His dad (Derek Reynolds) can't "believe my son is a fairy." The film opens with a tease murder of a country girl (Anisbel Lopez?) who looks and acts like she has never been on a farm. The group sets up for a barn dance in Clare, Michigan and then the killing starts. The person I had suspected to be the killer is attacked first.
This is a slasher film with plenty of blood and killings, mostly scenes done in other films and better. The production was professional done and not some lame amateur attempt. The acting was hit and miss, mostly miss, which is forgivable in this type of film where bad actors die first. The actors were selected for their hard bodies and dancing skills, not necessarily a bad thing. They even secured the rights to "Honey I'm Good" for the barn dance, one of the better scenes.
The killer, as we see in the film poster wears a dog face mask, because leather has been done. His left arm has a pitchfork grafted to it that stays bloody the whole film. We don't know anything about him until we get near the formula part that partially explains him. And like too many of these films, no matter how far or fast you run, our killer is there.
The characters have a superficial development and perhaps Jenny (Addisyn Wallace) is the only one we get attached to and most likely because she is a small innocent girl. Note: After a person is stabbed is the gut and ice picked in the ear, there is no way they run at a full gait. Every hear of ear fluid and balance? This is not going to win any awards...no wait it did, seven various festival awards including Hot Springs International Horror Film Festival 2016 best in category. It is acceptable, but don't expect originality...okay women are killed without first having their tops ripped open. Who does that? Guide: F-word, sex, no nudity.
This is a slasher film with plenty of blood and killings, mostly scenes done in other films and better. The production was professional done and not some lame amateur attempt. The acting was hit and miss, mostly miss, which is forgivable in this type of film where bad actors die first. The actors were selected for their hard bodies and dancing skills, not necessarily a bad thing. They even secured the rights to "Honey I'm Good" for the barn dance, one of the better scenes.
The killer, as we see in the film poster wears a dog face mask, because leather has been done. His left arm has a pitchfork grafted to it that stays bloody the whole film. We don't know anything about him until we get near the formula part that partially explains him. And like too many of these films, no matter how far or fast you run, our killer is there.
The characters have a superficial development and perhaps Jenny (Addisyn Wallace) is the only one we get attached to and most likely because she is a small innocent girl. Note: After a person is stabbed is the gut and ice picked in the ear, there is no way they run at a full gait. Every hear of ear fluid and balance? This is not going to win any awards...no wait it did, seven various festival awards including Hot Springs International Horror Film Festival 2016 best in category. It is acceptable, but don't expect originality...okay women are killed without first having their tops ripped open. Who does that? Guide: F-word, sex, no nudity.
Pretty broken beaten and scarred, and not in a good way.
zuhairvazir8 January 2017
Diet Freddy Krueger, on a tight to zero budget, gets horny and goes all Country-twang on a bunch of terrible, loathsome actors, in a horrible film with its forced plot, transition delays, faux pas reviews and lazy to extremely lethargic direction; executed poorly with a single Sony a7 camera. I guess the cast volunteered, hence we have the "Mother" hamming it all the way, towards the end.
Stay far away.
Don't get me wrong, but the acting was so bad, it seemed the cast was administered enemata before the takes and asked to hold it before they said something stupid like: "Wait a minute, what do you mean by blood?". And the film felt like director Glenn Douglas Packard shot the whole thing cleaning up after the bunch of morons couldn't 'hold it' any longer.
Stay far away.
Don't get me wrong, but the acting was so bad, it seemed the cast was administered enemata before the takes and asked to hold it before they said something stupid like: "Wait a minute, what do you mean by blood?". And the film felt like director Glenn Douglas Packard shot the whole thing cleaning up after the bunch of morons couldn't 'hold it' any longer.
Don't waste your time with this movie.
psychedeliic7 January 2017
Some rich kids with cameras and a drone, trying' to make a movie. Well I hope they don't bother to make another after this piece of crap.
All the dialogue lines suck. Cheap effects and really bad acting. I wanted to stop the movie after twenty minutes, but I said what the hell. Now I really regret it.
As you can see the user ratings are pretty high, but don't fall for that (as I did). The majority voted with 1... so I'll guess the rest of the voters are from their circle of friends and voted with 10.
My advice> If you don't know how to make a movie... then don't! Or if you do make it, keep it to yourself... so people don't have to waste time with crap like this.
All the dialogue lines suck. Cheap effects and really bad acting. I wanted to stop the movie after twenty minutes, but I said what the hell. Now I really regret it.
As you can see the user ratings are pretty high, but don't fall for that (as I did). The majority voted with 1... so I'll guess the rest of the voters are from their circle of friends and voted with 10.
My advice> If you don't know how to make a movie... then don't! Or if you do make it, keep it to yourself... so people don't have to waste time with crap like this.
Could have been named TABLESPOON for all I care
aarminaj8 January 2017
Warning: Spoilers
Oh my lord, what did i just watch?? What a piece of garbage from start to finish. Well lets see, a lame character who stays at a supposed country side having a laughable get up , with a pitchfork attached or supposedly sewn up his left hand,then we have some really really irritating supposed actors who have been cast in this movie, who cant just act to save their lives!! Oh wait people there is more , a lame party country dance with extras looking right in the camera as if to ask what to do in this scene. A really annoying little kid playing the so called main leads sister, who by the way again surprise doesn't know how to act. I can go on and on , the story or lack of there as it is has a bunch of dumb people, (cause they sure did not look like college kids to me) travel to a country farm to celebrate, what?? One by one in the most stupid and half shot way they are killed with this stupid looking and acting guy who is the pitchfork aka The Jr Holister, who by the way has a father and mother (again obnoxiously acted) who were those characters, who cast these all so called actors, and why did this ever be made as a movie?? Please people do not watch this junk, trash , horribly acted , dumb character movie. The only aspect praise worthy of this so called cinema making process is the efforts put in by the make up guys, they have done a fair job. But sorry you cant watch this drivel for the run time it has, i sadly did , so warning you all out there.. AVOID, DON'T WATCH.. My vote 1 , just for having a vote..else Zilch
This Movie Won 7 Awards?
bajmba15 January 2017
When you look at the trailer for this movie, and see the notation on this page, we are to believe this is a good horror movie. I mean it won seven awards, right? Don't be fooled. Poor writing. Terrible acting.
Buried somewhere in this pile of garbage is an interesting idea, or at least the idea to start a new form of killer. But it is so poorly written, acted, and executed - there is virtually nothing redeeming about it.
We decided to give it a chance, and boy what a waste of time and money.
Terrible. Absolutely cringe worthy.
Avoid at all costs.
Buried somewhere in this pile of garbage is an interesting idea, or at least the idea to start a new form of killer. But it is so poorly written, acted, and executed - there is virtually nothing redeeming about it.
We decided to give it a chance, and boy what a waste of time and money.
Terrible. Absolutely cringe worthy.
Avoid at all costs.
what the potato
serrerus12 October 2017
just so you know i love horror movies. i really do,but when you make a movie about a killer that has slim Jim pitch fork fingers for hands. you begin to question the crap your watching as it reminds me of a really bad gwar band that had a bad day off at Sunday camp and created a family accident. this was a cheap and lazy attempt at recreating an 80's like slasher flick. this movie reminds me of some retard on a bike just screaming a bunch of monkey at people, and for some reason has a camera. yes he found this camera and decided it was a cool idea to make a horror movie about an era he knew nothing about. there is no amount of love in this movie.
everything is sloppily done. like everything was either taken in one take or for some reason decided they should cheap monkey it. every person in this film in unrelatable and basically murder trash for the guy with the slim Jim glove. the kills are crap. you know if your gonna make your film look like it was lit like and 80's movie or something out of that era. you sure got everything wrong. the colours, the overdone over done lighting. i mean it looked like i was in a very bad painting by bob Ross. it just didn't have anything. each and every dark or tense scene looked like it was made in broad daylight, and then decided it would be cooler to turn every single thing all the way up and said cool i'm OK with that. oddly enough this movie does look like it was made for 35 cents and the staff were paid in Tim Horton's coffee omg.
i didn't like anyone. you know the moment an actor looks like a Calvin Klein model but sounds like your cousins husband George. you really really really need to stop and think. why am i hear and why is my son almost exactly the same age as me. yes they dyed someones hair to makem look like they were old. each scene was full of stupidity. i give this movie four censored you's and a preztel. this movie also gets the dreadful 0 banana cream pie for being an absolute trite of a film. you clearly know nothing about creep factor. you just took every bad trope from that era, put them in odd spots that don't make sense, then for some blatantly bad lazy idea you decide it's cool to look like we're in a weird part of town that people over act in. you made every scene boring, you made every scene feel cheap and uncaring. yes everything was so over the top, the 80's felt offended.
who lit this movie. sure the concept and movie is fun, but when your advertising yourself as an intensely scary movie, with 80's tropes and ordeals. don't censor it up by not knowing what the hell your doing. man. get the look right. don't get no censored sausage hand finger man after me man. how is that scary? that's like asking me out to dinner and saying i'm the sausage man and need a bun. stop making lazy horror. i know this stuff is cool, but if your going to make horror make it right. don't turn it into a child friendly movie about a man that for some reason decides to kill cuz they came onto his property. god this movie needs to go eat at a Denny's and censor off. god. this is worse then listening to Kenny g playing his clairnet. it's just horrible. i'd rather eat pizza pizza then watch this again.
everything is sloppily done. like everything was either taken in one take or for some reason decided they should cheap monkey it. every person in this film in unrelatable and basically murder trash for the guy with the slim Jim glove. the kills are crap. you know if your gonna make your film look like it was lit like and 80's movie or something out of that era. you sure got everything wrong. the colours, the overdone over done lighting. i mean it looked like i was in a very bad painting by bob Ross. it just didn't have anything. each and every dark or tense scene looked like it was made in broad daylight, and then decided it would be cooler to turn every single thing all the way up and said cool i'm OK with that. oddly enough this movie does look like it was made for 35 cents and the staff were paid in Tim Horton's coffee omg.
i didn't like anyone. you know the moment an actor looks like a Calvin Klein model but sounds like your cousins husband George. you really really really need to stop and think. why am i hear and why is my son almost exactly the same age as me. yes they dyed someones hair to makem look like they were old. each scene was full of stupidity. i give this movie four censored you's and a preztel. this movie also gets the dreadful 0 banana cream pie for being an absolute trite of a film. you clearly know nothing about creep factor. you just took every bad trope from that era, put them in odd spots that don't make sense, then for some blatantly bad lazy idea you decide it's cool to look like we're in a weird part of town that people over act in. you made every scene boring, you made every scene feel cheap and uncaring. yes everything was so over the top, the 80's felt offended.
who lit this movie. sure the concept and movie is fun, but when your advertising yourself as an intensely scary movie, with 80's tropes and ordeals. don't censor it up by not knowing what the hell your doing. man. get the look right. don't get no censored sausage hand finger man after me man. how is that scary? that's like asking me out to dinner and saying i'm the sausage man and need a bun. stop making lazy horror. i know this stuff is cool, but if your going to make horror make it right. don't turn it into a child friendly movie about a man that for some reason decides to kill cuz they came onto his property. god this movie needs to go eat at a Denny's and censor off. god. this is worse then listening to Kenny g playing his clairnet. it's just horrible. i'd rather eat pizza pizza then watch this again.
Not even a B-movie. Not intentionally bad, just plain horrible.
erik-29-38162622 December 2017
I've seen a LOT of average-to-bad horror movies and most of them I would give 3-6 stars because they might have some good ideas, some good acting, a fresh take on things, SOMETHING redeeming. Even a really sexy scene with a beautiful woman can salvage something for us guys.
This has nothing. A few cute girls like always but the horrible dialog combined with a really bad script, below average acting, strange casting (the "dad" looks about 10 years older than the "son") and a group of people so filled with panic and stupidity it's mind numbingly bad. Nails on chalk board bad.
It was 90 minutes but somehow it felt like about 300 minutes with long horrible scenes. We're not talking "brilliant supsense" or " psycologial thriller", just random scenes that were dragged out for no apparent reason.
I can only believe some rich guy promised his son, that he would get to write the script and call the shots on his very own project, why would anyone make this movie a reality otherwise?
Don't ever watch this, you will feel robbed and 2 years older afterwards. And a bit dumber...
This has nothing. A few cute girls like always but the horrible dialog combined with a really bad script, below average acting, strange casting (the "dad" looks about 10 years older than the "son") and a group of people so filled with panic and stupidity it's mind numbingly bad. Nails on chalk board bad.
It was 90 minutes but somehow it felt like about 300 minutes with long horrible scenes. We're not talking "brilliant supsense" or " psycologial thriller", just random scenes that were dragged out for no apparent reason.
I can only believe some rich guy promised his son, that he would get to write the script and call the shots on his very own project, why would anyone make this movie a reality otherwise?
Don't ever watch this, you will feel robbed and 2 years older afterwards. And a bit dumber...
beware
meawspice11 January 2017
This movie is a drag. A complete waste of time. Most actors cannot act.
They have to read the lines from a board. Don't expect anything
exciting or those moments were you scream out of fear. If you watch
this masterpiece until the end you can can only say one thing to
yourself: am I glad this one is over. So beware if a couple of drinks
won't help you to sit through.Maybe the original idea was good. The way
the director put it on the screen is in my view an insult to any
audience. If as a comedy it doesn't work. Ed Wood was like Welles
compared to the mess this director puts us through.
I have no problem with a slasher movie. If the story is nice or the
acting is OK why not.Sorry but I cannot see anything positive in it.
Most actors and actresses are below mediocre. One can ask how they got
into this movie anyway.Who selected them. Why no none them stood up and
told the director this is gone end nowhere.So beware
You'll Pitch This One
shawnblackman17 January 2017
A man celebrating his coming out party at the family country home, is forced to do battle with a man who has a pitchfork attached to his hand with barb wire. His friends are fatally poked one by one until only a few who are left have to stick together to survive.
I was going to give this a two until I seen the ending. This film first cooks itself when we watch some country square dance routine to Honey, I'm Good. If you can endure that number they do a couple more. There is one sick scene where a woman pees in a jar and then pours it over a gaping wound in a man's head.
Nothing new at all just rehashed other films done with crap actors. Somebody just wanted to showcase some dance moves and had to come up with a film idea to do it. Avoid this one
I was going to give this a two until I seen the ending. This film first cooks itself when we watch some country square dance routine to Honey, I'm Good. If you can endure that number they do a couple more. There is one sick scene where a woman pees in a jar and then pours it over a gaping wound in a man's head.
Nothing new at all just rehashed other films done with crap actors. Somebody just wanted to showcase some dance moves and had to come up with a film idea to do it. Avoid this one
Surprised how good this indie horror was! A original slasher finally!
glenn-3979823 February 2017
This Indie horror is top notch here, there are some great aerial shots of the cornfields and surrounding land, and the interiors of the barns are displayed nicely. The surrounding woods were shown with some blue and foggy aesthetics, which set the tone for some of the stalk n chase scenes. The score is good, reminded me so much of the 80's slashers.
Pitchfork the character is one scary looking dude, I can tell the actor put a lot into it, and when seeing the Making of the Monster video about how they did the film, it made me appreciate it even more. The scene where he is at a old shed with all these dead bodies was one of my favorite scenes. Just so creepy.
The movie does flow at a brisk pace, which is good for a slasher movie, we are given kills within the first 5 minutes and throughout the movie very quickly.
I'm excited to own this one, hopefully we get a nice DVD/Blu release within the next couple of months. Give it a watch slasher freaks!
Pitchfork the character is one scary looking dude, I can tell the actor put a lot into it, and when seeing the Making of the Monster video about how they did the film, it made me appreciate it even more. The scene where he is at a old shed with all these dead bodies was one of my favorite scenes. Just so creepy.
The movie does flow at a brisk pace, which is good for a slasher movie, we are given kills within the first 5 minutes and throughout the movie very quickly.
I'm excited to own this one, hopefully we get a nice DVD/Blu release within the next couple of months. Give it a watch slasher freaks!
Had its moments, recommend for a horror movie night chill
mollybollea26 April 2017
There are those sleeper horror movies that no one has heard of, or those independent films that has gotten some good buzz. I heard of Pitchfork from some friends that saw it during a film festival viewing, and was told I had to check it out because I got sh** balls for slasher films.
Thou the acting was off some times from a couple of the actors, I really thought it was a solid film in the slasher genre. Pitchfork is a monster you care about, and want to see something good come from him, even thou he is butchering people. I hope that there is more to come from Pitchfork.
All the elements were there, the music, direction, cinematography, & sound. There were some weird edits but other then that and some acting, the film delivered the scare, story, and gore. I would give it a strong 6 out of 10!
Thou the acting was off some times from a couple of the actors, I really thought it was a solid film in the slasher genre. Pitchfork is a monster you care about, and want to see something good come from him, even thou he is butchering people. I hope that there is more to come from Pitchfork.
All the elements were there, the music, direction, cinematography, & sound. There were some weird edits but other then that and some acting, the film delivered the scare, story, and gore. I would give it a strong 6 out of 10!
How did this get made? Bloody awful!!
touchthetalent30 March 2020
I stayed up to watch this...
nevadaseaworkers14 February 2017
Warning: Spoilers
Camera shots were weird
Story a bit weird
Editing altogether weird
Dance scene in a barn was weird
Lighting in the night through the forest...was weird
It won awards...? Very weird
It just not right
I like oddball movies something off centre, this is just dreadful and I stuck out to the end. The rating is wrong and if someone thinks this is a good film they must be taking something weird.
I have never left a comment on a film before but this is a horrendous film and as is best left unwatched
Story a bit weird
Editing altogether weird
Dance scene in a barn was weird
Lighting in the night through the forest...was weird
It won awards...? Very weird
It just not right
I like oddball movies something off centre, this is just dreadful and I stuck out to the end. The rating is wrong and if someone thinks this is a good film they must be taking something weird.
I have never left a comment on a film before but this is a horrendous film and as is best left unwatched
Why all the hype?
dsims-722 July 2017
Supposedly, this film won a number of awards. Not sure why - although it isn't unwatchable, it has no creativity (in Gore, Death Scenes, or plot). The villain was quite possibly the least intimidating I have ever seen in a horror flick.
My advice? Skip it.
My advice? Skip it.
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