1200 Horror Films Ranked/Rated/Reviewed

by fedor8 | created - 25 Jul 2020 | updated - 11 months ago | Public

ALL THE HORROR FILMS I'VE SEEN RANKED RATED AND REVIEWED

Basically, the list should help you choose good films, while warning you which turkeys to avoid. This is why it's ranked in the order of quality. Although, you might find the bottom-pile reviews more fun, coz bashing films is more fun than praising them.

Until I was around 18 or 19 I had very little interest in horror. But once I subdued my inner snob (the same deluded snob that had prevented me from trying out metal until I was 15) I realized that there's a distinct advantage to watching demons and zombies slug it out in mindless movies over most other movie genres. The majority of horror films are pretty bad, mediocre at best, but give me a bad horror flick any time over an Oscar-awarded drama or a mediocre western, not to mention a boring, pretentious "art" film devoid of a story, with lazy actors staring emptily into walls while contemplating the meaning of life or suicide, or both. Horror films are refreshingly unpretentious, unpompous: usually cretinous but certainly more entertaining than Meryl Streep doing a Moroccan accent while tied to a wheelchair because she'd been raped and beaten by skinheads in some abominable Hollywood flick.

Which advantages does this list have over other horror lists from my highly esteemed horror-aficionado colleagues?

1. I've seen a lot more horror films than most horror fans. Over 1200. That's a sample big enough to give me some bragging rights.

2. I am a bit of a stickler for logic. This means I don't let the really dumb ones get away with contradictory, far-fetched or plain stupid scripts. If a movie is dumb, I call it out, sometimes in great detail. You don't get that from most horror critics who are quite happy to ignore blatant disregard for common sense. I try not to nit-pick though, coz they are mostly fantasy films.

3. My opinions are completely independent from the majority. If a "classic" that everyone loves stinks, I will rate it low and harass its badness. I don't let myself be influenced by general consensus. I get the impression that many horror reviewers follow the herd a little too much, and that some are afraid to admit not liking a "classic" that one is supposed to like. I don't give a hoot for these unwritten rules: I will bash and smash any overrated piece of crap. Reversely, if a good movie is underrated, I shall praise it. I am not interested, in the slightest, what is or isn't considered a classic. I decide what's classic and what isn't. (I love my arrogance sometimes!)

What is a horror film? Which kind of movies qualify? I've decided to include thrillers but only when they're filmed with an obvious horror slant, with gore or an appropriate atmosphere. So the list doesn't only deal with supernatural films, although fantasy is part of at least 90% of the titles here: that's coz I am not a fan of thrillers at all; I consider them hands down the most idiotic movie genre, far too stupid/illogical/absurd, so you won't be finding many of them here. Sorry to disappoint you if you're into home invasion and superpowerful-serial-killer flicks, there aren't many of those here. I am primarily a fan of supernatural horrors, whereas I've grown to despise horror thrillers so much over the years that I hardly even watch them anymore - except when I make a misjudgement (due to someone's flawed synopsis) and one sneaks in and I end up wasting my time on it. I don't see the point in including every thriller, far from it, as most of them are a separate genre. Sci-fi is also allowed, but only if it has emphasis on monsters and/or gore.

What isn't a horror film? Which kind of movies do not qualify? Young Frankenstein, Scary Movie, Arsenic & Old Lace - any kind of totally harmless comedy that merely uses a horror backdrop to string gags to. These movies are neither gory (or at least not in the real sense) nor remotely scary or intended to be such, and often use extreme humour such as farce or absurdist comedy which simply has zero to do with horror. There are many horror comedies on this list, but they're firmly entrenched in the horror genre. Short films don't qualify: if you think I'm going to bore you with every Tom Dick and 5-minute Harry, you're wrong. Rather than use this list as a dumping ground for EVERYTHING even vaguely related to horror, I decided it's better to focus on ACTUAL horror films, because that's what the list title promises to the reader.

RATINGS: Many of these films I'd seen in the 90s, and back then I was less strict, more easy-to-please. Hence not every rating here represents my opinions realistically. The newer movies have more reliable ratings, in general. I don't pretentiously rate films according to how ground-breaking, unique or technically accomplished they are; I focus much more on the entertainment value. AND I am a stickler for logic; I can tolerate a certain amount of stupidity (almost inevitable in horror, and just films in general), but I don't tolerate movies that break all idiocy records. So if a movie is a critics' darling but boring and/or stupid it gets a low score.

NO RATING: Movies without a rating are the ones whose level of quality I can't pin down anymore because I'd seen them decades ago. I placed them roughly where I believe they should be. But generally, films with no rating could be potentially much higher or lower ranked than they should be.

SPOILERS: I have done my best not to spoil any good films for you, even the smaller events and plot-twists that might not necessarily count as proper spoilers. However, I have hidden spoilers for the good and averages films. I can't vouch for the bad ones, for those that are rated 2 stars or lower: those reviews sometimes don't have hidden spoilers, simply because those are all turds and there is nothing to spoil. They're already spoiled. Nevertheless, even most of those have spoiler warnings.

REVIEWS: For some movies I have two reviews: a brief one consisting of one paragraph, and a proper lengthy one. Some reviews are copy-pasted in their entirety, but most only have the first few paragraphs offered. You have to go the link provided below each text to read the rest i.e. the whole thing. Some reviews aren't posted on IMDb (yet): these are, obviously, pasted in their entirety.

ADVICE: Concerning the top 100-200 movies, i.e. the ones I recommend the most, do NOT read IMDb's synopsis of any of them. They often contain spoilers which could diminish the fun factor if/when you decide to watch them. Whoever is in charge of writing "synopsises" is clearly not doing a good job i.e. some of the contributors need to finally realize that you shouldn't tell the film-goer what happens half-way into the movie, but only the broad outline of what is given early on, BEFORE the first twists.

Genre explanations:

non-supernatural - Since the vast majority of these films are supernatural, I've decided to simply mark those that aren't.

non-supernatural(?) - Can't remember for sure. Or the movie itself is so bad it doesn't give a clear answer.

zombapocalypse - When the plague is all-encompassing, and when the movie shows the outbreak itself not just the after-effects.

zombie - When the plague is focused in a smaller area, or is occurring in a post-apocalyptic environment.

infection - Of course every zombie plague has to do with infection of some sort, but I've added it when a zombie movie focuses on the whys and whats of the plague, rather than just show the resulting mayhem.

townsfolk conspiracy - When the inhabitants of a little town or village are all part of some sinister conspiracy or have a major secret. This is nearly always hidden in a spoiler.

camcorder - I don't like the name "found footage". I thought of calling it "wobbly footage" or "found-in-sewage" but this will do.

mono-setting - When at least 90% of a movie is set in just one room/house/whatever. Does not apply to a large singular area, only smaller spaces/areas.

religious - Films with Biblical themes or a priest running around fighting demons.

mono-colour - A bunch of modern horror films are filmed in doom-n-gloom-o-vision, with only 2-3 colours, or are photoshopped to have just one colour dominate. I am very much an opponent of both these drab-o-vision styles and this descriptor serves to warn you when a film is visually unappealing, when it is drenched in blue, green or just overall grey. I.e. some movies labeled this way may not be drab-looking but are dominated by just one colour basically.

teens - Obviously, teens doesn't mean literally teens coz most "teen" actors are in their 20s, but refers to any flick with all of the sheep-for-the-slaughter being presented as teens.

older teens - 20somethings; instead of "a group of teens goes out into the woods for a picnic" it's "a group of 20somethings goes out into the woods for a picnic", for example a bunch of typical dim-witted students.

malevolent - Films with a lack of moral compass that tend to glorify evil. Often they reveal the film-maker's or the writer's latent misanthropy.

nickotrash - Films with Nicholas Cage.

kingotrash - Films based on Stephen King's trashy writing.

netflixia - Films from Netflix i.e. garbage to be avoided.

wesocravenia - Films by Wes Craven, the master of crappy, shoddy horror.

argentonto - Films by Dario Argento, legendary for his dumb movies devoid of logic.

Some genres include others by definition: i.e. haunted house is automatically mystery as well, hence I don't add mystery to that descriptor. A horror western is automatically historic, so no need to add "historic" as a descriptor.

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1. The Shining (1980)

R | 146 min | Drama, Horror

68 Metascore

A family heads to an isolated hotel for the winter where a sinister presence influences the father into violence, while his psychic son sees horrific forebodings from both past and future.

Director: Stanley Kubrick | Stars: Jack Nicholson, Shelley Duvall, Danny Lloyd, Scatman Crothers

Votes: 1,107,555 | Gross: $44.02M

haunted building, remote location, based on kingotrashy novel

10/10

Strengths: visuals, sets, tension, soundtrack, setting, suspense, originality, ominous mood, Jack Nicholson, the film annoys Stephen King (because it was heavily re-written i.e. all the garbage was taken out)

Weaknesses: none

Visually stunning, with a degree of eeriness only Kubrick and very few others could have achieved; some of the scenes are unsurpassed in this respect. Ghost stories are notoriously unscary, so hats off to Kubrick for making all the right choices to elevate this trite genre to very lofty heights.

The cinematography is immaculate. Kubrick even makes the toilet look good. OK, bathroom... whatever.

Nicholson is incredible and provides much of the entertainment. What he did here isn't overacting: it's precisely what the film and story required. (He has been criticized for his performance here by a small and very clueless group of detractors - who probably consider Rob Zombie the greatest ever film-maker.) After all, he is going insane, right? Should this kind of psycho-lunacy be underplayed? Just as with "A Clockwork Orange", Kubrick picked literally THE best actor for the job. Both movies heavily relied on the main-character casting for the movies to reach their full potential.

Shelley Duvall is excellent, too, and well-cast. The poor thing really struggled during the filming; Kubrick was merciless toward her. Considering the shoot lasted a whopping 11 months, this is no minor thing.

I can't believe they re-did this though; what's the point? Re-doing TS is like sending 23 year-old Helen Mirren to a plastic surgeon and breast-implants doctor. What's there to improve?

That vastly overrated clod Stephen King always hated the fact that Kubrick had his flawed original story heavily re-written, and he despised Kubrick for it. The ego on that man-hick! "How dare he re-write MY words??? They are MY words, the great Stephen King! Blasphemy!" (This is how I picture an egomaniac hack writer reacting to someone "messing" with his garbage.)

Stevie should be forever flattered that the best director of all time decided to pick up one of his crummy books and make a movie out of it. In fact, this left-wing putz had actually dared to publicly criticized Kubrick's adaptation of his irrelevant little novelette, thereby exposing his ignorance to all. Stephen King criticizing Kubrick is like a guy in a wheelchair criticizing his boxing coach for not making him the WBA heavy-weight champion of the world (with the difference that Kubrick made something great out of "Shining"). King criticizing Kubrick is like an eight year-old Flat Earth Society member telling Einstein that his theories are stupid. King criticizing Kubrick is like Michael Moore criticizing old BBC nature documentaries for being unrealistic and staged. King criticizing Kubrick is one of the biggest jokes in the history of mankind. If you still want to watch the remake, your problem. There are great Youtube clips mocking it: I recommend those instead.

TS is so heavily re-written that it's a mistake to even consider it a "Stephen King movie".

Excellent soundtrack, similar to that of "2001". I wouldn't listen to it separate from the movie though...

I strongly suggest you find the 140-minute version.

https://www.imdb.com/review/rw1559997/?ref_=tt_urv

Downer ending: Sort of First Viewing: 1988 (altogether at least 5 times)

2. Dawn of the Dead (1978)

Unrated | 127 min | Horror, Thriller

71 Metascore

During an escalating zombie epidemic, two Philadelphia SWAT team members, a traffic reporter and his TV executive girlfriend seek refuge in a secluded shopping mall.

Director: George A. Romero | Stars: David Emge, Ken Foree, Scott H. Reiniger, Gaylen Ross

Votes: 128,662 | Gross: $5.10M

zombapocalypse, splatter, semi-comedy

10/10

Strengths: setting, humour, soundtrack, mood, unpredictability

Weaknesses: ending is a bit weak

Downer ending: Sort of

First Viewing: 1989 (altogether at least 5 times)

3. Innocent Blood (1992)

R | 112 min | Action, Comedy, Crime

44 Metascore

Marie is a vampire with a thirst for bad guys. When she fails to properly dispose of one of her victims, a violent mob boss, she bites off more than she can chew and faces a new, immortal danger.

Director: John Landis | Stars: Anne Parillaud, Anthony LaPaglia, Robert Loggia, David Proval

Votes: 11,009 | Gross: $4.97M

vampires, comedy, gangster

10/10

Strengths: premise, plot, hilarity, cast, cameos, Anne Parillaud

Weaknesses: disgusting silicon strippers, dumb Prince songs

25 years ago I remember laughing my ass off at this and absolutely loving how Parillaud played it, gave it a 9/10 rating. But over the years I simply assumed it wasn't as good, that it's just another comedy that I overrated when I was young and dumb, so I subsequently reduced the rating. Which turned out to be completely unnecessary.

Now I liked it perhaps even more. Laughed like crazy again, despite remembering bits of the plot, and once again Anne got my thumbs up for being so perfect in this. She is something special, which is particularly unusual given how awful French actresses tend to be on average.

The entire cast is very well picked, not just she. Paglia and Loggia in particular. Paglia doesn't get nearly as much funny stuff to do as Loggia and Parillaud, but he makes the most out of his character. Loggia, in the role of his life, very obviously had a grand time playing this mob boss, and the way he chose to play him as a vampire is masterful. It'd be hard to imagine any actors being in this instead of Parillaud and Loggia. As well-written and conceived as this was, they are the ones who maximized its potential, made it a classic.

Well, a classic to me at least, certainly not to the masses. How such a great movie went not only unnoticed but then later undiscovered is quite the mystery. Baffling. But then again, film-goers are just like most music fans: completely and utterly clueless. IMDb voter averages are the only proof I need to make my point. Case closed, most people wouldn't know a good film if it crapped on their empty heads.

The plot is tight, fun, never even slightly tedious despite the lengthy running time. There are many great gags, some visual, some verbal - those latter ones usually consisting of a one-liner i.e. a reaction of a character to any of the numerous absurd situations. Even very minor characters have their shining moments.

It's the sort of premise that writes itself.

Viewings: 1998, 2023

4. The Cabin in the Woods (2011)

R | 95 min | Horror, Mystery, Thriller

72 Metascore

Five college friends head out to a remote cabin for a getaway, but things don't go as planned when they start getting killed. They soon discover that there is more to the cabin than it seems.

Director: Drew Goddard | Stars: Kristen Connolly, Chris Hemsworth, Anna Hutchison, Fran Kranz

Votes: 451,014 | Gross: $42.07M

haunted cabin, dystopian, sci-fi, black comedy, lovecraftian, apocalypse

10/10

Strengths: story, premise, the major plot-twist, originality

Weaknesses: somewhat bland cast

TCITW is a much-needed refreshment, in a genre that is dominated by clones. It's a sort of tribute to all types of horror films, a semi-parody, and a wild, imaginative, unpredictable ride, all rolled into one. All those who pathetically attempt to trash this film, futilely trying to find something to nitpick about, have to be out of their silly little minds. There are plot-twists, there's an original premise, violence galore, and a wonderful finale. What do you want more? A B-J from the movie? So if you're a deluded creature that is forcing yourself to hate this film just because another great horror film was finally made, and that annoys/upsets you for some reason, be my guest: I can smell your desperation from a thousand miles away. Haters of TCITW are the same people who rank "Avatar" as a masterpiece.

For those of you who knew the essential premise/plot in advance, you only have yourselves to blame; I never watch trailers, nor do I care for the very staged/scripted/moronic interviews with actors/directors while they're hyping flicks, talking about what an "honor it was to work with him", about how "generous" their co-stars were. Hence any movie can surprise me - provided it does actually contain surprises. I knew absolutely nothing about TCITW, aside from the spoiler-devoid movie poster and the unusually high IMDb rating (for a horror flick), which actually made me suspect that this might be a major piece of crap, given this site's track-record i.e. taking into consideration how the average movie-going zombie "thinks" and votes.

Even the obligatory comic-relief sidekick isn't half-bad. I can't remember the last time that an annoying buffoonish horror-film clown had an iota of a quality gag coming out of him. This one is interesting and actually serves a purpose in the story. And he doesn't spit one-liners all the time, smirking like a cretin, but actually shows real fear when a situation calls for it. As soon as the chaos commences he stops making joking around.

The only minor criticism I have is the overly "cute" dialogue from the control room bosses.

The only major logic flaw would be that it isn't explained how they managed to get an EXACT mix of the 5 young personalities required (the whore, the athlete, the fool...) to go to the cabin exactly when the sacrifice was needed to take place.

TCITW gets a point off for the absolutely ridiculous wolf-kissing scene, and for including the vastly overrated Sigourney Weaver. As if it weren't bad enough that she infested four "Alien" movies and "Ghostbusters". Retire the damn nepotistic 6-foot witch already! Let her play mothers of trolls in half-a**ed fantasy Disney flicks.

I would also have edited the movie in such a way as to give the viewer more time to believe that they're actually watching yet another "Evil Dead" re-hash. The introductory scene with the lab people gives away little, admittedly, serving more to confuse than to reveal anything, but it does hint that the events surrounding the five "teens" aren't what they seem. I would also have taken out the invisible force-field bird-disintegration scene; that way, when the "hunk" runs into it his demise would come as a total shock. In fact, I wouldn't have revealed the existence of the underground labs until the first half-hour is over. But this isn't a major criticism; no movie is perfect.

There is definite regret that the movie finishes just as the end of the world is starting, but I suppose that something does have to be left to the imagination.

The last third is amazing: it's pure fun cinema as we very rarely get in horror or any other type of film these days.

https://www.imdb.com/review/rw2724801/?ref_=tt_urv

Downer ending: depends on the person, some might say yes, some no

Viewings: 2012, 2023

5. 1408 (2007)

PG-13 | 104 min | Fantasy, Horror, Mystery

64 Metascore

A man who specialises in debunking paranormal occurrences checks into the fabled room 1408 in the Dolphin Hotel. Soon after settling in, he confronts genuine terror.

Director: Mikael Håfström | Stars: John Cusack, Samuel L. Jackson, Mary McCormack, Tony Shalhoub

Votes: 294,353 | Gross: $71.99M

haunted house, based on kingotrashy story, mono-setting

10/10

Strengths: story, mood, eeriness, plot-twists, suspense

Weaknesses: the director's cut ending isn't very good (watch the cinema version)

Is Cusack hallucinating or is it me? A good movie based on King's material?!

Of course, it's only based on a short story, i.e. it's been vastly peppered up and improved by no less than THREE writers. (It takes many writers to turn a mediocre mess into a quality product, similarly to how it took 56 plastic surgeons to turn Khloe Kardashian into a half-way decent-looking woman.)

Set mostly in a hotel suite, this entertaining film is never dull. It's slickly directed, and a great ride. There are even a twist or two, which is amazing considering that King, the King of Predictability, wrote the story this is based on. But then again, how much of this is his own writing?

This is only the second time - since Kubrick's phenomenal "The Shining" - that a movie based on a Stephen King book or story turns out very good. It took nearly three decades for it to happen again, but here it is. My guess is that the story was re-written in a major way (that is to say drastically improved), so kudos to the writers for being so bright i.e. capable of turning crap into gold, which is a rare talent. It's cinematic alchemy.

Take a look at Mary McCormack's new lips. She looks like a frog. Her plastic surgeon should have his license revoked.

https://www.imdb.com/review/rw1737534/?ref_=tt_urv

Downer ending: cinema version: no, director's cut: yes

First Viewing: 2007 (altogether 3 times)

6. The Evil Dead (1981)

NC-17 | 85 min | Horror

71 Metascore

Five friends travel to a cabin in the woods, where they unknowingly release flesh-possessing demons.

Director: Sam Raimi | Stars: Bruce Campbell, Ellen Sandweiss, Richard DeManincor, Betsy Baker

Votes: 232,513 | Gross: $2.40M

haunted cabin, splatter, demonic, possession, remote location

10/10

Strengths: visuals, setting, originality, mood, suspense, special effects

Weaknesses: some of the acting is mediocre

First Viewing: early 90s (altogether at least 3 times)

7. Evil Dead II (1987)

R | 84 min | Comedy, Horror

72 Metascore

Ash Williams, the lone survivor of an earlier onslaught of flesh-possessing spirits, holes up in a cabin with a group of strangers while the demons continue their attack.

Director: Sam Raimi | Stars: Bruce Campbell, Sarah Berry, Dan Hicks, Kassie Wesley DePaiva

Votes: 182,018 | Gross: $5.92M

haunted cabin, self-parody, splatter, comedy, possession, demonic, remote location

9/10

Strengths: visuals, setting, originality, mood, humour, plot-twists

Weaknesses: a little derivative of the first part

First Viewing: 1990 (altogether at least 3 times)

8. Triangle (2009)

R | 99 min | Fantasy, Mystery, Sci-Fi

Five friends set sail and their yacht is overturned by a strange and sudden storm. A mysterious ship arrives to rescue them, and what happens next cannot be explained.

Director: Christopher Smith | Stars: Melissa George, Joshua McIvor, Jack Taylor, Michael Dorman

Votes: 129,925

mystery, haunted ship, time loop

9/10

Strengths: story, unpredictability, setting, premise, suspenseful, enigmatic

Weaknesses: the main plot twist isn't new

This Christopher Smith has much more to offer than first meets the eye - or met the eye. After the blood-spurting, somewhat dumb "Creep" and the unsuccessful blend of horror and comedy in its follow-up, "Severence", Smith comes up out of left field with this excellent horror mystery. Perhaps he'd finally realized that it's not necessary to portray the graphic butchering of female anatomy ("Creep") or to rip off current horror-film fads such as "Hostel" ("Severence"). Sometimes you just need to sit down, focus, and write a script that actually deserves several months of preparation and shooting, instead of letting your pet hamster write it in 30 minutes...

I almost always bash British horror films, because they're so dull and overrated, but this is a rare exception. It's one of the best I've seen in years. But perhaps that also has something to do with this being an Australian co-production...

You can read the entire review here:

https://www.imdb.com/review/rw2227977/?ref_=tt_urv

Downer ending: there is a major twist that can be seen as downer, so yes

Viewings: 2010, 2016

9. Silent Hill (2006)

R | 125 min | Horror, Mystery

31 Metascore

A woman, Rose, goes in search for her adopted daughter within the confines of a strange, desolate town called Silent Hill.

Director: Christophe Gans | Stars: Radha Mitchell, Laurie Holden, Sean Bean, Deborah Kara Unger

Votes: 244,161 | Gross: $46.98M

demonic, religious, remote location, satanic cult, based on computer game

9/10

Strengths: visuals, sets, setting, story, soundtrack, originality, mood, suspense, eerie, special effects

Weaknesses: none

SPOILERS

There aren't many horror films I can think of in which the hero or heroine is stuck between two sides battling each other, both of which are equally nasty. Essentially, this is the premise: a fundamentalist Christian sect lead by a deranged woman (suitably cast with Krige) used human sacrifice to fight Satan (or at least a demon), but they played with fire rather clumsily – literally – which lead to a minor incident in which most of the population got destroyed and sent to some sort of a Hell. (It's too depressing-looking and contains far too many ugly bite-happy insects to be Purgatory.) The girl they burned (?) became the demon's BFF, but because there was still a speck of goodness left in her, a child, Sharon, was "created" (don't ask me how); that same girl that had been adopted by Sean Bean and that actress who looks exactly like Roman Polansky's wife, the French actress Emmanuelle Seigner. The two look so much alike that for a long time I didn't realize I was watching two different women in movies! Emmanuele played Satan (or a demon?) in "The Ninth Gate", and so we come full circle. (Well, it's a sort of circle; perhaps a pentagram.) We come full pentagram. Polansky privately also likes little girls, so we have at least two circles or pentagrams here to come full to.

You can read the entire review here:

https://www.imdb.com/review/rw3139164/?ref_=tt_urv

Downer ending: no

Viewings: 2007, 2014, 2016

10. Event Horizon (1997)

R | 96 min | Horror, Sci-Fi, Thriller

35 Metascore

A rescue crew is tasked with investigating the mysterious reappearance of a spaceship that had been lost for seven years.

Director: Paul W.S. Anderson | Stars: Laurence Fishburne, Sam Neill, Kathleen Quinlan, Joely Richardson

Votes: 197,292 | Gross: $26.67M

space sci-fi, mystery, demonic

9/10

Strengths: visuals, sets, setting, premise, mood, special effects, eeriness, suspense

Weaknesses: occasionally dumb characterization and silly dialog

Downer ending: mostly

First Viewing: 1998 (altogether 3 times)

11. Eraserhead (1977)

Not Rated | 89 min | Fantasy, Horror

87 Metascore

Henry Spencer tries to survive his industrial environment, his angry girlfriend, and the unbearable screams of his newly born mutant child.

Director: David Lynch | Stars: Jack Nance, Charlotte Stewart, Allen Joseph, Jeanne Bates

Votes: 127,573 | Gross: $7.00M

surreal, drama, arthouse

9/10

Strengths: visuals, sets, soundtrack, uniqueness, mood, sense of mystery, eeriness

Weaknesses: perhaps a tad too abstract, occasionally repellent

Perhaps the most morbid, darkest movie ever made. Totally abstract; to discuss the "plot" here would be to miss the point. Did I say "point"? I'm not sure there is a point. But there doesn't have to be one. Eraserbrain is almost totally free for interpretation. Part horror, part futuristic drama, part mystery. It defies definition.

Some scenes are downright chilling, some are absolutely gross, and in-between there is plenty of eerie, dark, confusing, abstract melodrama. The few dialogues that take place - even though mostly weird - give a little bit of a breather. Hard to watch, especially repeatedly, this is definitely not entertainment in the classic sense.

Nevertheless, it is utterly fascinating. Hard to believe that it was directed by the same David Lynch who gave us such beautiful-people yuppie-mystery crap like "Twin Peaks", and who started casting Laura Dern in his films, probably because he saw "talent" in her. Or maybe because he is fascinated by freaks? There is a very nice song(!) here, sung by the "radiator lady", somewhere in the second half.

In hindsight, decades after the fact, it is almost funny that Eraserbrain has no proper story (or at least no proper story development), considering that Lynch became later notorious for setting up complex mysteries - but then completely unable to untangle/resolve them in any logical, meaningful way. Of course, Lynch's rabid fan army would vehemently deny that; they all used generous helpings of glue to help them "explain" all these quasi-profound "arty" films.

Whoever claims that "this is the movie that got me interested in cinema" is a lying attention-seeking insecure hipster. "Star Wars" or "Dumbo" were what got you into cinema, you pompous clods! Stop pretending you enjoyed this when you were 11.

https://www.imdb.com/review/rw1570486/?ref_=tt_urv

Downer ending: this movie doesn't have an ending, or a coherent story

First Viewing: 1990 (altogether 2-3 times)

12. Images (1972)

R | 104 min | Drama, Horror, Mystery

Whilst writing a children's book, a woman interrupted by images unsure if they may, or may not be real

Director: Robert Altman | Stars: Susannah York, Rene Auberjonois, Marcel Bozzuffi, Hugh Millais

Votes: 7,762

drama, mystery

9/10

Strengths: visuals, mysterious, originality, mood

Weaknesses: only one nude scene with York

Like so often with Robert Altman's movies, it's hit or miss: his films are either quite bad or terrific (not counting the mid-90s onwards, when everything he touched was crap).

There is much to recommend here. First of all, the eeriness Altman creates shames 99% of all horror films - and this isn't even a proper horror film in the classic sense, but more like a psychological drama with strong "Twilight Zone" influence.

No time is wasted here; right from the start strange things start happening. It's a weird mystery that will keep you guessing - until the decidedly UNhappy ending.

I have no idea why this movie is both hard to come by and totally forgotten. Instead, whenever Altman's name is mentioned, we hear how great "The Player" is supposed to be. That movie is mediocre. Forget "The Player" and that boring nepotist Tim Robbins; instead, check out "Images", "3 Women", "Vincent & Theo", and of course "M*A*S*H*", to see Altman at his best.

https://www.imdb.com/review/rw1721552/?ref_=tt_urv

Downer ending: yes

First Viewing: 1997 (altogether 2-3 times)

13. In the Mouth of Madness (1994)

R | 95 min | Drama, Fantasy, Horror

53 Metascore

An insurance investigator begins discovering that the impact a horror writer's books have on his fans is more than inspirational.

Director: John Carpenter | Stars: Sam Neill, Jürgen Prochnow, Julie Carmen, David Warner

Votes: 79,390 | Gross: $8.95M

mystery, lovecraftian, apocalypse

9/10

Strengths: story, plot-twists, unpredictability, originality, premise

Weaknesses: not an ideal cast

John Carpenter comes up with a winner every now and again, and this is one of them. Could this really be? A horror film that is unusual and unpredictable, with the sort of ingenious, fun plot that quite clearly could never stem from a crap writer like Stephen King. Which is ironic since the plot revolves around a fictional version of him, a famous horror writer.

SPOILERS

Would King destroy the world the way this writer does, if he had a chance?

Of course he would. Reds are nearly all vicious, violent thugs masked as peaceniks who fantasize about the apocalypse. In their minds, any kind of "revolution" (preferably a very violent and cataclysmic event) will quickly lead to Utopia. They actually believe in these fairy-tales - these alleged atheists. Liberal Logic 101: "atheists" who believe in "Heaven on Earth". Anyone smell a mega-oxymoron here?

One of the film's major strengths is that it moves at a very brisk pace, from the first scene onwards. There are no time-wasting scenes like in so many other horror movies, no needlessly boring 20-minute intros with their very thin plots. Unpredictability rules the roost, fun twists abound, and the increasing confusion that arises from the to-and-fro between reality and fantasy is never annoying or incomprehensible.

The special effects are okay. They may have been much better had the film been made just a year or two later. The soundtrack is quite solid, and the dialogue and acting aren't moronic.

Pretty much Carpenter's last hoorah. What followed was junk like "Escape From L.A." and "Ghosts Of Mars", not to mention the abysmal "Ward".

Certainly one of the best horror film of the 90s.

There is a brief appearance by the future Darth Vader, Hayden C.

https://www.imdb.com/review/rw1722484/?ref_=tt_urv

Downer ending: yes, but it's spectacular

Viewings: 1996, 2016, 2023 (altogether 4-5 times)

14. The Ninth Gate (1999)

R | 133 min | Mystery, Thriller

44 Metascore

A book broker discovers his latest find may summon Satan.

Director: Roman Polanski | Stars: Johnny Depp, Frank Langella, Lena Olin, Emmanuelle Seigner

Votes: 197,602 | Gross: $18.66M

religious, road movie, mystery

9/10

Strengths: story, dialog, visuals, enigmatic

Weaknesses: the ending isn't bad but not ideal

Satan gets pregnant? Interpretations of the ending abound.

It's interesting that Polanski went back to Satanism as a subject matter, dealing with it in a more sophisticated i.e. serious manner than is usually the case. TNG could easily have been a goofy, unintentionally funny movie in someone else's hands. Kudos to the little formerly-house-arrested kiddie-fiddler for tackling such an idiotic (but fun) topic with such style and competence; not a small achievement by any means. Especially given what a disappointment the vastly overrated "Rosemary's Baby" was, 3 decades earlier.

Speaking of competence, or a lack thereof, the Devil couldn't have been a very competent book distributor, what with having written one that only a handful of people ended up ever seeing. Was Satan perhaps shy or insecure about his work, fearing that it would not stand up to the great commercial success of his adversary's work, the Great Book? Chances are that Satan's little opus couldn't possibly be any dumber – or duller – than the said collection of rants and raves that are obsessed over in various over-decorated, suspiciously financed buildings throughout the world by men of cloth paid to (mis)interpret that crap to their weekly gatherings of bored but fearful flock. Besides, it would be only fair to hear both sides of the fence, i.e. to read what the opposition has to say.

You can read the entire review here:

https://www.imdb.com/review/rw2571512/?ref_=tt_urv

Downer ending: hard to say, ask Polanski, maybe he knows

First Viewing: 2000 (altogether 3-4 times)

15. Ringu (1998)

Not Rated | 96 min | Horror, Mystery

A reporter and her ex-husband investigate a cursed video tape that is rumored to kill the viewer seven days after watching it.

Director: Hideo Nakata | Stars: Nanako Matsushima, Miki Nakatani, Yûko Takeuchi, Hitomi Satô

Votes: 77,546

haunted technology, long-black-hair-ghost-chick, japanese

9/10

Strengths: story, premise, originality, mood, suspense, eerie

Weaknesses: spawned dozens of long-haired-Asian-chick-ghost clone films

First Viewing: early 00s

16. Hellbound: Hellraiser II (1988)

R | 97 min | Horror, Thriller

41 Metascore

Kirsty is brought to an institution after the horrible events of Hellraiser (1987), where the occult-obsessive head doctor resurrects Julia and unleashes the Cenobites and their demonic underworld.

Director: Tony Randel | Stars: Doug Bradley, Ashley Laurence, Clare Higgins, Kenneth Cranham

Votes: 56,171 | Gross: $11.09M

demonic, based on novel

9/10

Strengths: visuals, sets, story, soundtrack, originality, mood, suspense

Weaknesses: somewhat dated special effects, the 1st half isn't much fun on repeat viewings, 1st half focuses too much on gross-outs not enough on plot, Kirsty's incessant screaming, pointless "recap" scenes

Downer ending: no...

First Viewing: 1990, 2023 (altogether at least 4-5 times)

17. The Exorcist III (1990)

R | 110 min | Drama, Horror, Mystery

48 Metascore

A police lieutenant uncovers more than he bargained for as his investigation of a series of murders, which have all the hallmarks of the deceased Gemini serial killer, leads him to question the patients of a psychiatric ward.

Director: William Peter Blatty | Stars: George C. Scott, Ed Flanders, Brad Dourif, Jason Miller

Votes: 38,916 | Gross: $26.10M

religious, possession, demonic, based on novel

9/10

Strengths: story, moody, mysterious

Weaknesses: smooth sailing

Downer ending: not really

Viewings: 1991, 2005 (altogether 3 times)

18. The Endless (I) (2017)

Not Rated | 111 min | Drama, Fantasy, Horror

80 Metascore

As kids, they escaped a UFO death cult. Now, two adult brothers seek answers after an old videotape surfaces and brings them back to where they began.

Directors: Justin Benson, Aaron Moorhead | Stars: Aaron Moorhead, Justin Benson, Callie Hernandez, Tate Ellington

Votes: 49,467 | Gross: $0.27M

religious cult, time loop, mystery

9/10

Strengths: premise, mood, originality, dialog

Weaknesses: none

I am not a big fan of writing positive reviews, much less ones as positive as this film deserves. Handing out compliments to film-makers and the cast isn't my forte, and isn't anything I enjoy doing. I am not even sure I know how to do it. This is exacerbated by the fact that it's been such a long time since I've had a chance to write one: a movie this good comes up once in a Blue Moon, certainly as far as 21st-century filmic produce is concerned. I come across a 9/10 film once a year at the very most, though probably as rarely as every other year, so I don't even get to have much practice at writing only good things about a movie.

Whatever...

TE is a great mystery, in the vein of the very best that 60s "Twilight Zone" has to offer (check out my IMDb list of TZ episodes, which include brilliant reviews, as brilliant as all my reviews - which are brilliant). In fact, if TE were (miraculously) compressed into a 22-minute TZ episode it would rank among the best 5, easily.

You can read the entire review here:

https://www.imdb.com/review/rw5903884/?ref_=ur_urv

Downer ending: not for the protagonists

First Viewing: 2020

19. Naked Lunch (1991)

R | 115 min | Drama, Mystery

67 Metascore

After developing an addiction to the substance he uses to kill bugs, an exterminator accidentally kills his wife and becomes involved in a secret government plot being orchestrated by giant bugs in a port town in North Africa.

Director: David Cronenberg | Stars: Peter Weller, Judy Davis, Ian Holm, Julian Sands

Votes: 56,705 | Gross: $2.54M

surreal, mystery, semi-comedy, based on novel

9/10

Downer ending: yes

First Viewing: 1992 (3-4 times)

20. Aliens (1986)

R | 137 min | Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi

84 Metascore

Decades after surviving the Nostromo incident, Ellen Ripley is sent out to re-establish contact with a terraforming colony but finds herself battling the Alien Queen and her offspring.

Director: James Cameron | Stars: Sigourney Weaver, Michael Biehn, Carrie Henn, Paul Reiser

Votes: 763,594 | Gross: $85.16M

space sci-fi, action, conspiracy, monster

9/10

Strengths: setting, mood, suspense, special effects

Weaknesses: Paul Reiser's speech impediment, Sigourney Weaver's over-seriousness, the exaggerated gung-ho faces of the soldiers

Downer ending: yes, as always in this franchise

First Viewing: 1989 (altogether at least 3 times)

21. The Hunger (1983)

R | 97 min | Drama, Horror

52 Metascore

A love triangle develops between a beautiful yet dangerous vampire (Catherine Deneuve), her cellist companion (David Bowie), and a gerontologist (Susan Sarandon).

Director: Tony Scott | Stars: Catherine Deneuve, David Bowie, Susan Sarandon, Cliff De Young

Votes: 29,065 | Gross: $5.98M

vampire

9/10

Strengths: premise, soundtrack, mood

Weaknesses: not always impressive, Susan Sarandon too skinny, Catherine Deneuve still can't act

Vampire films are so very boring - but not this one. Somewhat underrated perhaps, but it's probably the best vampire film.

Seems to be regarded as some kind of a trashy lesbian story, with a little bit of horror and gore thrown in for good measure; well, that's nonsense. I'm the first to blast a movie for throwing in cheesy lesbianism, but it doesn't get in the way at all, and does have a purpose story-wise i.e. isn't thrown in randomly to titillate horny sexually inadequate hipsters as in Lynch's idiotic "Mulholland" flick. These critics would have us believe that some silly Dracula film from the 30s is a masterpiece while this original approach to vampirism is a cheap, exploitative, erotic tale.

The film is visually terrific, very atmospheric, has a good cast (Sarandon is excellent), and a superb soundtrack. Sarandon naked in bed is not exactly a deterrent, either. (This virtue-signaling activist's greatest talent, probably.)

The last scene - with its masterful combination of visuals and music - is the absolute highlight of the film.

https://www.imdb.com/review/rw1570379/?ref_=tt_urv

Downer ending: not really

First Viewing: 1989 (twice)

22. eXistenZ (1999)

R | 97 min | Horror, Mystery, Sci-Fi

70 Metascore

A game designer on the run from assassins must play her latest virtual reality creation with a marketing trainee to determine if the game has been damaged.

Director: David Cronenberg | Stars: Jude Law, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Ian Holm, Willem Dafoe

Votes: 107,259 | Gross: $2.84M

mystery, sci-fi, thriller

9/10

Cronenberg's last good movie. After this, dunno what happened. He must have had the same cinematescopy performed on him that Scorsese got in the 90s. Total removal of all faculties and skills.

First Viewing: 1999 (twice)

23. Alien 3 (1992)

R | 114 min | Action, Horror, Sci-Fi

59 Metascore

Returning from LV-426, Ellen Ripley crash-lands on the maximum-security prison Fiorina 161, where she discovers that she has unwittingly brought along an unwelcome visitor.

Director: David Fincher | Stars: Sigourney Weaver, Charles S. Dutton, Charles Dance, Paul McGann

Votes: 319,616 | Gross: $55.47M

space sci-fi, prison, monster

9/10

Strengths: visuals, sets, moody, special effects

Weaknesses: watching a bald Sigourney Weaver - as if she weren't hideous enough with hair, girl power

Avoid the director's cut. Fincher is clueless. Get the cinema version. Admittedly, by now I can't even recall the differences because I don't have the original anymore.

Downer ending: if you see the sequel it is, otherwise not really

First Viewing: 1992 (3-4 times)

24. YellowBrickRoad (2010)

R | 98 min | Horror, Thriller

52 Metascore

1940: the entire population of Friar, New Hampshire walked up a winding mountain trail, leaving everything behind. 2008: the first official expedition into the wilderness attempts to solve the mystery of the lost citizens of Friar.

Directors: Jesse Holland, Andy Mitton | Stars: Michael Laurino, Anessa Ramsey, Alex Draper, Cassidy Freeman

Votes: 6,973

mystery, remote location

9/10

Strengths: premise, story, plot-twists, eerie, moody, originality

Weaknesses: slow start

YBR is yet another example of why one should NEVER pay attention to this site's rating average. It's a meaningless figure.

An investigative team goes into a remote forest to investigate a mystery revolving around why all 250 people from a small village decided to leave one day, never coming back.

I know, it sounds like yet another amateurish, idiotic, hand-held-camera piece of garbage like "Paranormal Activity", "Rec", "The Blairwitch Project", or "The Poughkeepsie Tapes", but there is no reason give up in disgust because thankfully this is not the case. It's a REGULAR movie. No dilettante actor talking over a wobbly recording of Something Vague This Way Comes, while the special-effects crew takes a nap and hopes that the camera falls off into the mud so they won't have to do anything.

You can read the entire review here:

https://www.imdb.com/review/rw2531768/?ref_=tt_urv

Downer ending: big yes

First Viewing: 2011

25. Pulse (2001)

R | 119 min | Horror, Mystery, Sci-Fi

68 Metascore

Two groups of people discover evidence that suggests spirits may be trying to invade the human world through the Internet.

Director: Kiyoshi Kurosawa | Stars: Haruhiko Katô, Kumiko Asô, Koyuki, Kurume Arisaka

Votes: 25,625 | Gross: $0.05M

haunted technology, apocalypse, japanese

9/10

Strengths: mood, premise, suspense, eerie

Weaknesses: having to rely on the subtitles, shitty song at the end, opening sequence as spoiler

I'm a jaded horror-movie fan, hence approximately once in a blue moon do I get to watch a film from this genre that has me glued to the screen rather than bored or sneering/almost laughing at the gore when I'm not supposed to be. But perhaps that was the key here, the essential ingredient - or rather the lack of it: the fact that there is no gore, no understandable threat. Most horror directors/writers just can't get it through their thick skulls that the creepiest films are those that don't clearly spell out what the threat is but keep things cryptic. A monster chasing a victim is far less interesting than the kind of danger these characters here are in.

Just like in the Japanese "Ringu", the eeriness comes out of what is insinuated rather than catchup-stained limbs flying through rooms as if they had wings.

"Kairo" remains interesting in spite of its 2-hour length, although a little editing snip here or there would have made it a little more compact. The dialogue is not that interesting early on, but this eventually improves, and later on sometimes just a few sentences say a lot. The ghost scenes are very well conceived, quite original, and greatly help elevate this movie above 98% of the usual horror crap. The story is slightly muddled but it matters not.

In fact, the story gives you various hints and suggestions, but never the whole picture. It suggests that the numerous ghosts are trying to contact the living, but as soon as they do they drive the living mental, to suicide. Whatever the living experience or learn about the "other realm" through close contact with a ghost so depresses and scares them that they become almost catatonic, ready to die.

This is one interpretation, though others probably can't differ drastically to this one.

I like the fact that not every victim of this "apparitional pandemic" reacts the same way. For example, the female survivor from the opening scene chooses not to die, like the vast majority does.

I can't say I agree with that opening scene, because it serves as too much of a spoiler. I'd prefer not to know in advance that there will be an apocalypse, or that she'll end up on a ship. I believe this ruins a few surprises. Hence why I strongly suggest that you skip the intro, jump directly to the 2nd minute.

The score is good, but is applied sparingly. Entire segments are completely devoid of music, which serves the mood very well. It is a slow-paced film in which this seems to work better than having a constant blaring of music, as is so overkilled in so many American horror films.

Japanese actresses are so much better-looking than the increasingly homely, masculine blondes Hollywood serves us lately... These actresses are so much more feminine and appealing than the defective SJW actresses that populate western movies these days. Another advantage.

"Printo screenki": this is how one male character referred to a certain computer-keyboard feature...

Downer ending: more yes than no, free for interpretation

Viewings: 2008, 2023

26. Cube (1997)

R | 90 min | Horror, Mystery, Sci-Fi

61 Metascore

A group of strangers awaken to find themselves placed in a giant cube. Each one of them is gifted with a special skill and they must work together to escape an endless maze of deadly traps.

Director: Vincenzo Natali | Stars: Nicole de Boer, Maurice Dean Wint, David Hewlett, Andrew Miller

Votes: 247,751 | Gross: $0.50M

sci-fi, mystery, thriller, mono-setting

9/10

Strengths: visuals, premise, story, originality, enigmatic, setting, special effects, sets, unpredictable, suspense

Weaknesses: shoddy characterization and occasionally cartoonish dialog, weak ending

Downer ending: yes

First Viewing: 2000 (twice)

27. The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974)

R | 83 min | Horror

90 Metascore

Five friends head out to rural Texas to visit the grave of a grandfather. On the way they stumble across what appears to be a deserted house, only to discover something sinister within. Something armed with a chainsaw.

Director: Tobe Hooper | Stars: Marilyn Burns, Edwin Neal, Allen Danziger, Paul A. Partain

Votes: 183,803 | Gross: $30.86M

serial-killer, thriller, cannibal clan, exploitation, evil peasants, remote location, non-supernatural

9/10

Strengths: moody, suspense, gritty

Weaknesses: gets too hammy during the dinner scene

You will not find many of these "cannibal peasant" films on this list, and the few that there are nearly all scored low.

I am not a fan of this garbage sub-genre. TCM however was the first of its kind and it works because its grit looks real. It is genuinely suspenseful.

Downer ending: no........

First Viewing: 1990

28. The Legend of Hell House (1973)

PG | 95 min | Horror

56 Metascore

A physicist, his wife and two mediums are hired to investigate the Belasco House, where 27 guests had inexplicably died in 1927, along with most of a team of paranormal investigators that was sent in the early 1950s.

Director: John Hough | Stars: Roddy McDowall, Gayle Hunnicutt, Pamela Franklin, Clive Revill

Votes: 14,045

haunted building

9/10

Strengths: setting, mood, visuals, suspense

Weaknesses: uneven

Downer ending: no...

Easily the best of all haunted house movies, this movie has a good story, surprise twists, a good cast (including the cute Pamela Franklin), and most importantly - a high visual quality and atmosphere without which almost any horror film is doomed.

https://www.imdb.com/review/rw1745732/?ref_=tt_urv

First Viewing: 1995 (twice)

29. Dead & Buried (1981)

R | 94 min | Horror, Mystery

71 Metascore

Sheriff Dan Gillis investigates eerie deaths in a sleepy coastal town.

Director: Gary Sherman | Stars: James Farentino, Melody Anderson, Jack Albertson, Dennis Redfield

Votes: 14,930 | Gross: $0.22M

remote location, townsfolk conspiracy, mystery

8/10

Strengths: plot-twist, mood, suspense

Weaknesses: can't remember

Downer ending: yes

First Viewing: 2003

30. Dead Birds (2004)

R | 91 min | Horror, Thriller, Western

A group of Confederate soldiers hole up in an abandoned plantation after robbing a bank and find themselves at the mercy of supernatural forces.

Director: Alex Turner | Stars: Henry Thomas, Patrick Fugit, Nicki Aycox, Michael Shannon

Votes: 11,137

haunted house, western, crime

8/10

Strengths: setting, mood, visuals, eerie, suspense

Weaknesses: creatures a bit stereotypical

Much better than most of the horror stuff that gets thrown our way these days. The premise of a deserted house in the middle of nowhere being occupied by supernatural forces is hardly a new one, but it matters not. What does matter is the appropriate soundtrack, a good atmosphere, and a gradual but effective set-up of events. Yes, the movie does tend to be a tad too slow in the first half, but as long as there is a sense that something ominous i.e. interesting will happen that is never a problem. The effects are good, the direction is skillful, and the dialogue and acting are above-par for a horror film. The creatures do not look too original, but at least they're not an n-th rehash of "Alein" monsters, which I think we can all do without. There are smaller problems with how certain characters react in certain situations. The ending is interesting: have they all become demons the moment they entered the property? Or was that symbolic of the fact that they were all sinners i.e. murderers hence automatically demons in a sense? The Civil War setting is certainly fairly unusual.

https://www.imdb.com/review/rw1632134/?ref_=tt_urv

Downer ending: no, coz the protagonists are murderers, but then again yes in a way

First Viewing: 2007 (twice)

31. Hellraiser: Inferno (2000 Video)

R | 99 min | Crime, Horror, Mystery

A shady police detective becomes embroiled in a strange world of murder, sadism and madness after being assigned a murder investigation against a madman known only as "The Engineer".

Director: Scott Derrickson | Stars: Craig Sheffer, Nicholas Turturro, James Remar, Doug Bradley

Votes: 19,187

demonic, crime, mystery

8/10

Strengths: story, plot-twists, mood, special effects

Weaknesses: the basic premise isn't new

Downer ending: sort of

Viewings: 2004, 2014, 2022

32. The Last Winter (2006)

Not Rated | 101 min | Horror, Mystery, Thriller

69 Metascore

Sent to evaluate the environmental impact of oil drilling in the Arctic, James Hoffman clashes with the drilling crew's chief, who wants to get the job done.

Director: Larry Fessenden | Stars: Ron Perlman, James Le Gros, Connie Britton, Zach Gilford

Votes: 9,847 | Gross: $0.03M

remote location, mystery

8/10

Strengths: setting, mood, ambiguous, mysterious, Connie Britton

Weaknesses: politics (boring green message)

Many viewers are whining like babies about the ending.

SPOILERS

Once again, this site's viewers got it all wrong. The rating should be much higher.

If nature doesn't care then why would it take revenge? The notion that ghosts of millions-of-years old fossils would decide to take revenge on man is a bit too preposterous, even for a horror film. Why would they care about man polluting the Earth? No clues are given as to why fossils/oil would protest against them/it being used to fuel economies around the world. Does it physically hurt the fossils/oil hurt when they're/it is being turned into energy? Or are they upset because they didn't get a cut of the profits? Maybe if Perlman had offered this living oil a percentage they'd been fine with the plans to drill... Perhaps those dragons aren't so much anti-business as they're just plain greedy. On the other hand, dragons have their families to support, too, hence a few dollars from Exxon and the like might help them lead a more luxurious life... No idea. E-mail me what you think the dragons were upset about here, or if you think they were merely being a**holes.

You can read the entire review here:

https://www.imdb.com/review/rw1957122/?ref_=tt_urv

Downer ending: yes

Viewings: 2008, 2014

33. Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer (1986)

Unrated | 83 min | Biography, Crime, Drama

80 Metascore

Arriving in Chicago, Henry moves in with ex-con acquaintance Otis and starts schooling him in the ways of the serial killer.

Director: John McNaughton | Stars: Michael Rooker, Tracy Arnold, Tom Towles, Mary Demas

Votes: 40,482 | Gross: $0.61M

serial-killer, thriller, drama

8/10

Strengths: gritty, realistic

Weaknesses: it's been a while, dunno

Downer ending: yes

First Viewing: 1993

34. The Exorcist (1973)

R | 122 min | Horror

83 Metascore

When a young girl is possessed by a mysterious entity, her mother seeks the help of two Catholic priests to save her life.

Director: William Friedkin | Stars: Ellen Burstyn, Max von Sydow, Linda Blair, Lee J. Cobb

Votes: 455,289 | Gross: $232.91M

religious, demonic, possession, based on novel

8/10

Strengths: mood, visuals, gore effects, originality

Weaknesses: very boring prologue

Downer ending: yes and no

First Viewing: 1988 (twice)

35. Possession (1981)

R | 124 min | Drama, Horror

75 Metascore

A woman starts exhibiting increasingly disturbing behavior after asking her husband for a divorce. Suspicions of infidelity soon give way to something much more sinister.

Director: Andrzej Zulawski | Stars: Isabelle Adjani, Sam Neill, Margit Carstensen, Heinz Bennent

Votes: 42,936 | Gross: $1.11M

drama

8/10

Strengths: originality, weirdness, unpredictability

Weaknesses: can't remember

SPOILERS

Now that I've seen this highly stylized semi-nonsense, which was fun in itself, I can look forward to additional fun by reading laughable reviews written by people who actually believe this movie has meaning. But I guess if you try hard enough (or if you're sufficiently deluded) you can read stuff into just about anything. Projection of one's own imaginary world into the empty vessel (the (European) movie) is the main tool of any self-respecting fan of surreal (European) cinema.

I could see it coming, way ahead, that the monster was becoming a double of Neill. After all, Neill's voice could be heard talking to Neill (1) on the phone, early on in the film. And why not? Adjani gets to have a nonsensical double, so why not poor ol' Neill. I think they shouldn't have even stopped there; the German granny should have been doubled, ditto her strange Kung-Fu-loving son, and the all the rest of the cast, turning this into a "body snatchers" kind of scenario. Not that this would distract from the essence of the movie, the real message, the main story, for there is no message and no essence at all, and the story becomes increasingly disjointed and comical as the movie ends its amazingly bizarre conclusion. To be fair, occasionally I had the impression the director wanted laughs. But how can I be sure? It's all guess-work.

You can read the entire review here:

https://www.imdb.com/review/rw2529720/?ref_=tt_urv

First Viewing: 2011

36. Se7en (1995)

R | 127 min | Crime, Drama, Mystery

65 Metascore

Two detectives, a rookie and a veteran, hunt a serial killer who uses the seven deadly sins as his motives.

Director: David Fincher | Stars: Morgan Freeman, Brad Pitt, Kevin Spacey, Andrew Kevin Walker

Votes: 1,800,407 | Gross: $100.13M

serial-killer, thriller, non-supernatural

8/10

Strengths: visuals, mood, story, Paltrow's head in a box

Weaknesses: Paltrow and her incessant Gwyn-grinning

Downer ending: Gwyn's head in a box? of course not!

First Viewing: 1996

37. Wind Chill (2007)

R | 91 min | Adventure, Drama, Horror

52 Metascore

Two college students share a ride home for the holidays, but when they break down on a deserted stretch of road, they are preyed upon by the ghosts of people who have died there.

Director: Gregory Jacobs | Stars: Emily Blunt, Ashton Holmes, Martin Donovan, Ned Bellamy

Votes: 24,989 | Gross: $0.02M

remote location

8/10

Strengths: mood, premise, suspense, eerie

Weaknesses: ending

Downer ending: yes

First Viewing: 2010

38. The Thing (1982)

R | 109 min | Horror, Mystery, Sci-Fi

57 Metascore

A research team in Antarctica is hunted by a shape-shifting alien that assumes the appearance of its victims.

Director: John Carpenter | Stars: Kurt Russell, Wilford Brimley, Keith David, Richard Masur

Votes: 467,039 | Gross: $13.78M

sci-fi, remote location, thriller, body snatchers

8/10

Strengths: setting, visuals, suspense, twists

Weaknesses: can't remember

Downer ending: yes

First Viewing: 1988 (twice)

39. Bottom of the World (2017)

Not Rated | 85 min | Drama, Mystery, Thriller

The mysterious disappearance of a young woman leads her boyfriend on a journey for truth and perhaps his own unknown reality in this dark, hypnotic mystery that transcends the limitations of traditional narrative.

Director: Richard Sears | Stars: Jena Malone, Douglas Smith, Ted Levine, Tamara Duarte

Votes: 5,317

mystery

8/10

Strengths: premise, mood, mystery

Weaknesses: nothing much

SPOILERS

"Hollywood has dumbed down audiences so much that they are ill equipped to react with anything but anger to any movie that challenges them to think."

I completely agree with this. Once again a surreal movie gets undeserved hate, but this time from pseudo-intellectual "movie buffs" as well as the sheep. Because, ironically, film buffs have the worst taste in films, just as people who rate 50,000 albums have shit taste in music.

The only bigger drawback I can find would be part of the premise: that a person with such sadistic and violent tendencies would actually feel a surge of guilt so overwhelming that it would drive them to alcoholism then suicide. That, of course, isn't impossible but is a little far-fetched. But considering that liberalism has infiltrated and brainwashed most of the "Free" West (well, it used to be free until recently), it is no wonder that a westerner would choose to believe that truly evil people without guilt don't exist; the writer doesn't say as much, but he might subscribe to this idiocy, just as the vast majority of film-makers do.

You can read the entire review here:

https://www.imdb.com/review/rw4247462/?ref_=tt_urv

Downer ending: isn't a mov

First Viewing: 2017

40. Gremlins (1984)

PG | 106 min | Comedy, Fantasy, Horror

70 Metascore

A young man inadvertently breaks three important rules concerning his new pet and unleashes a horde of malevolently mischievous monsters on a small town.

Director: Joe Dante | Stars: Zach Galligan, Phoebe Cates, Hoyt Axton, John Louie

Votes: 247,962 | Gross: $148.17M

black comedy

8/10

Strengths: special effects, premise

Weaknesses: left-wing propaganda in small doses

Downer ending: no...

A big hit when it came out, "Gremlins" has stood the test of time quite well. There's a visual quality and mood to the movie that makes it a cut above many such fantasy-based 80s films, some of which look decidedly dated by now. The creatures look real and behave in an interesting/amusing rather than predictable way.

Those of us who enjoyed it as kids back then can now "appreciate" its subversive nature – at least people that are clueless naive liberals in search of the millionth movie to feature an anti-Capitalist message. (Actually, 1,000,000 might be more of a low estimate. Check out my "Left-Wing Propaganda in TV & Cinema" list for more on this.) This anti-American message is so subliminal, so obscured by the thick layers of the movie's Disney-wise cartoon-like shenanigans, that it can only be detected by those who pay attention to such things, i.e. viewers who are fully aware of how rampant left-wing propaganda was/is/always-will-be in American (but also European) movies. The fact that Joe Dante and Stevie Spielberg were director and producer, respectively, makes perfect sense inasmuch that they're both flaming closet Marxists.

You can read the entire review here:

https://www.imdb.com/review/rw2730414/?ref_=tt_urv

First Viewing: mid-80s, 2012 (altogether probably at least 5 times)

41. Session 9 (2001)

R | 97 min | Drama, Horror, Mystery

58 Metascore

Tensions rise within an asbestos cleaning crew as they work in an abandoned mental hospital with a horrific past that seems to be coming back.

Director: Brad Anderson | Stars: David Caruso, Stephen Gevedon, Paul Guilfoyle, Josh Lucas

Votes: 62,934 | Gross: $0.38M

mystery

8/10

Strengths: plot twist, mood, premise

Weaknesses: can't remember

Downer ending: yes

First Viewing: 2003

42. Bad Taste (1987)

Not Rated | 91 min | Comedy, Horror, Sci-Fi

52 Metascore

The population of a small town disappears and is replaced by aliens that chase human flesh for their intergalactic fast-food chain.

Director: Peter Jackson | Stars: Terry Potter, Pete O'Herne, Craig Smith, Mike Minett

Votes: 49,135

splatter, comedy, sci-fi, non-english (sort of)

8/10

Strengths: originality, silly humour, gore effects

Weaknesses: too cheap-looking on occasion

Downer ending: no..........

First Viewing: 1990 (altogether 3-4 times)

43. Elizabeth Harvest (2018)

R | 108 min | Horror, Sci-Fi, Thriller

54 Metascore

An extremely wealthy, and brilliant scientist, has the nasty habit of brutally killing his wife, cloning her, marring her again, and then repeating the process.

Director: Sebastian Gutierrez | Stars: Abbey Lee, Ciarán Hinds, Carla Gugino, Matthew Beard

Votes: 9,641

thriller, mystery, medical experiments

8/10

Strengths: mystery, plot, twists, themes, originality

Weaknesses: nothing major

WARNING: Do not read IMDb's synopsis of the movie because it contains two spoilers. IF you intend to watch the film, obviously, and you should - because I rated it highly.

The hilariously low score and low number of votes on IMDb prove (once again) that at least 70% (and perhaps even as high as 95%) of so-called horror (and especially thriller) movie fans are merely chimps in human clothing i.e. primitive sadistic buffoons unable to appreciate any plot more complex or demanding than "Halloween 17". Chimps need their bananas, but unfortunately for them there are no bananas here, but only exotic fruit that requires more than just two hairy hands to open.

A very intelligent, fun movie that plays around with many themes: genetic vs environmental factors, the question of what is identity, Groundhog's Day.

EH is full of plot-twists, so in that sense it is a typical modern thriller. However, most of these twists advance the plot rather than destroy it, and most are logical rather than forced and dumb: that is completely atypical of contemporary film-making.

SPOILERS

Sure, there are some problems.

1. Elizabeth shooting Elizabeth not once bit twice didn't ring true at all. I would have preferred an ending with both Elizabeths leaving the house in search of a new life; it would have made more sense and would have been (even) more original. Elizabeth 6 should have realized that the air is not toxic by observing Liz 5 exit the house, hence that Oliver was a liar. Also, Liz 5's exit should have had confirmed Liz 5's claim that she "only ever wanted to leave".

But OK, some of this could be excused by Liz 6's brainwashing by Oliver. But only some of it can be rationalized through this.

2. It isn't entirely clear how come Henry gets to attempt to kill no 5 so soon after he kills 4, given that "there are only 6 clones", and yet the fact that this has been going on for many years. It would have made a LOT more sense for there to have been 50 clones, and that Henry had killed 48 of them in regular intervals throughout the years. It is stated by Oliver that no 3 was killed 3 years ago, which doesn't quite compute.

3. Oliver is far too capable for an invalid. He kills the cop with ease, he imprisons Liz 5 with little difficulty.

Nevertheless, one thing EH is it's never boring, even for a second. The plot is complex and moves at a rapid pace once Henry is murdered. Until then, it is unclear what kind of a movie this will be - which is not a good thing but a great thing.

The last scene is reminiscent of "Ex-Machina", a movie that must have been a source of inspiration for this one.

https://www.imdb.com/review/rw8049361/?ref_=ur_urv

Downer ending: mostly no

First Viewing: 2020

44. Jacob's Ladder (I) (1990)

R | 113 min | Drama, Horror, Mystery

62 Metascore

Mourning his dead child, a haunted Vietnam War veteran attempts to uncover his past while suffering from a severe case of dissociation. To do so, he must decipher reality and life from his own dreams, delusions, and perceptions of death.

Director: Adrian Lyne | Stars: Tim Robbins, Elizabeth Peña, Danny Aiello, Matt Craven

Votes: 117,963 | Gross: $26.12M

mystery, conspiracy

8/10

Strengths: story, premise, Elizabeth Pena, mood, visuals, special effects

Weaknesses: dumb conspiracy theory, Tim Robbins sucks as usual - a big liability

First Viewing: early 90s

45. Scanners (1981)

R | 103 min | Horror, Sci-Fi, Thriller

60 Metascore

A scientist trains a man with an advanced telepathic ability called "scanning" to stop a dangerous Scanner with extraordinary psychic powers from waging war against non scanners.

Director: David Cronenberg | Stars: Jennifer O'Neill, Stephen Lack, Patrick McGoohan, Lawrence Dane

Votes: 61,801 | Gross: $14.23M

medical experiments, sci-fi, conspiracy, thriller

8/10

A metaphor for the problems of cows and other farm animals.

SPOILERS

"Scanners" was made in the good old days when Cronenberg made horror films instead of casting Viggo in pointless, failed gangster dramas. (The less said about "Spider" and "Crash", the better.) The plot is interesting, well thought-out, tight, without any glaring logic holes. (One minor complaint is that we are never told why Ironside and Lack are more powerful than other scanners; the fact that they are older (even though Lack seems the youngest of them all!) does not explain this at all.) The cast is very good (McGoohan, Ironside, O'Neill, Silverman) except for Stephen Lack who is certainly lacking; in some scenes he comes off as a rank amateur.

I had fun reading a review here that focuses on scanners being used as a "metaphor for the mentally ill". Just because there is a similarity between A and B does not mean that A was made with B in mind. (A little logic lesson for those of you who jump to wishful-thinking conclusions.) He even went as far to suggest that the movie is subversive and has a whole bunch of other complaints to make about the society we live in. It appears that some left-wing viewers are so used to being served Leftist propaganda nonsense in movies that they tend to even see it when it really isn't there. "Scanners" is a FUN HORROR FILM, nothing more. Even if there are tiny elements of "social commentary", they are so negligible as to be irrelevant.

https://www.imdb.com/review/rw1847100/?ref_=tt_urv

Viewings: 1989 & 2008

46. Alien (1979)

R | 117 min | Horror, Sci-Fi

89 Metascore

The crew of a commercial spacecraft encounters a deadly lifeform after investigating a mysterious transmission of unknown origin.

Director: Ridley Scott | Stars: Sigourney Weaver, Tom Skerritt, John Hurt, Veronica Cartwright

Votes: 951,710 | Gross: $78.90M

space sci-fi, action

8/10

Strengths: special effects, setting, sets, visuals

Weaknesses: slow build-up, some stupid dialog, Weaver survives

Downer ending: mostly yes... in fact completely because Sigourney was spared

First Viewing: 1980 (2-3 times)

47. White Noise (I) (2005)

PG-13 | 101 min | Drama, Horror, Mystery

30 Metascore

An architect's desire to speak with his wife from beyond the grave becomes an obsession with supernatural repercussions.

Director: Geoffrey Sax | Stars: Michael Keaton, Deborah Kara Unger, Ian McNeice, Chandra West

Votes: 50,835 | Gross: $56.39M

thriller

8/10

For those of you who don't know what EVP is: Elaborate Vapid Pap.

That's just a little wave of the hand to all those gullibles out there who believe in that crap - and then spend half their reviews writing about it, hoping to make new converts.

WN is one of very few horror films that provides a genuinely eerie atmosphere, and the story gets you involved early on and doesn't get stupid or disappointing - until the end, that is. The finale is a letdown in an otherwise excellent movie. Suddenly, instead of a ghost story we get scenes straight out of any of a number of recent serial-killer-torturing-innocent-victim-in-dungeon thrillers, of which there are far too many. It has become such a dumb cliché, and it's high-time to abandon it. (Let's have some new clichés...) The photography is good, the dialogue is solid, apart from the ending there are no complaints to make. Perhaps the boy was unnecessary to the plot, but he doesn't get in the way either. I thought Keaton was solid, because finally they gave him a role where he doesn't get to grin and mug. It's always refreshing to come across a very good horror film, that genre being so diluted with very dull junk.

You can read the entire review here:

https://www.imdb.com/review/rw1723791/?ref_=tt_urv

First Viewing: 2007

48. Videodrome (1983)

R | 87 min | Horror, Sci-Fi, Thriller

58 Metascore

A programmer at a Toronto TV station that specializes in adult entertainment searches for the producers of a dangerous and bizarre broadcast.

Director: David Cronenberg | Stars: James Woods, Debbie Harry, Sonja Smits, Peter Dvorsky

Votes: 103,076 | Gross: $2.12M

sci-fi, thriller, conspiracy

8/10

If you're seeking something original, different, more intelligent than the stereotypical horroric tripe, look no further. One of Cronenberg's more bizarre films, and that's saying something. He pretty much continued making good/excellent movies (with a few exceptions) until "Spider", which marked the beginning of his fall from grace. From then on his movies would get progressively dumber, more conventional and usually very badly cast.

SPOILERS

The logic is fairly water-tight. The only possible flaw is the very shaky logic of how come O'Blivion and his daughter had the same technology at their disposal to control minds. She even used the identical method of ordering a murder via Woods, by shoving a VHS tape into him. This is not addressed; all we know is that the two movements are at odds with one another, there is never any mention of the two sides sharing information, stealing from one another, or have any kind of interaction or cooperation.

As far as the ending is concerned, it is more ambiguous than some people might conclude. Two possible interpretations: either O'Blivion was lying to Woods about his impending physical metamorphosis just to get him to kill himself, since they didn't need him anymore. Or, his "suicide" really was the next step toward his new physical self - no doubt something quite morbid and disgusting.

I am leaning more toward the former version, because why could blasting his head off possibly help turn Woods into some new humanoid creature i.e. "new flesh". It makes more sense that they duped him, just as the military organization had been toying with him for years. All along Woods had acted merely as a ping-pong ball in a war between two lunatic, dangerous organizations.

Downer ending: yes, as nearly all Cronenberg films

Viewings: 1991, 20??, 2023

49. To the Devil a Daughter (1976)

R | 95 min | Horror

39 Metascore

An American occult novelist battles to save the soul of a young girl from a group of Satanists, led by an excommunicated priest, who plan on using her as the representative of the Devil on Earth.

Directors: Peter Sykes, Don Sharp | Stars: Richard Widmark, Christopher Lee, Honor Blackman, Denholm Elliott

Votes: 4,909

religious, mystery

8/10

First Viewing: 2016

50. 30 Days of Night (2007)

R | 113 min | Action, Horror, Thriller

53 Metascore

After an Alaskan town is plunged into darkness for a month, it is attacked by a bloodthirsty gang of vampires.

Director: David Slade | Stars: Josh Hartnett, Melissa George, Danny Huston, Ben Foster

Votes: 189,515 | Gross: $39.57M

remote setting, vampires

8/10

There used to be a time when movies had been based on novels. Then, when they ran out of good novels to adapt to the screen, they resorted to cheap dime-a-dozen novels. Then short stories, and now comic-books. I guess it's only a matter of time until big-budget flicks use pamphlets as their inspiration... Chewing-gum wrappers, too? Toilet-paper rolls?...

Even worse, yet another vampire film.

The good news, however, is that not all comic-book-based films have to be unwatchable pieces of childish Dreck a-la "Spiderman" or "Ghost Rider". The other good news is that this isn't yet another dreary vampire flick. 30DON is the best ever horror film with fanged bipeds, if we discount "The Hunger" which is more like a horror drama. Gone is the suave, cape-wearing, coffin fetishist who woos the thick, impressionable maiden with his outlandish foreign accent. That's about as scary as an episode of "Will & Grace".

You can read the entire review here:

https://www.imdb.com/review/rw2228611/?ref_=tt_urv

First Viewing: 2010

51. Sleepy Hollow (1999)

R | 105 min | Fantasy, Horror, Mystery

65 Metascore

Ichabod Crane is sent to Sleepy Hollow to investigate the decapitations of three people; the culprit is legendary apparition The Headless Horseman.

Director: Tim Burton | Stars: Johnny Depp, Christina Ricci, Miranda Richardson, Michael Gambon

Votes: 384,082 | Gross: $101.07M

mystery, historical, curse

8/10

Strengths: visuals, sets, special effects

Weaknesses: doesn't generate much excitement or suspense

Downer ending: no...

First Viewing: 2000 (twice)

52. The Mothman Prophecies (2002)

PG-13 | 119 min | Drama, Horror, Mystery

52 Metascore

A reporter is drawn to a small West Virginia town to investigate a series of strange events, including psychic visions and the appearance of bizarre entities.

Director: Mark Pellington | Stars: Richard Gere, Laura Linney, David Eigenberg, Bob Tracey

Votes: 84,826 | Gross: $35.75M

mystery, thriller

8/10

I realize that Richard Gere being in this one is enough to have anyone lose their appetite, but give it a chance, it's underrated.

Interesting supernatural thriller that gets increasingly enigmatic while throwing around various (vague) clues, with many good moments of mystery and mood. Maybe the logic isn't 100% there because it isn't clear what Gere's dead wife's role is in the whole affair (and if it was merely Mothman impersonating her, then why would he do that?). But the film is never for a moment less than very interesting and the atmosphere is right.

It ends with a well-directed bridge-disaster sequence, and a very good end-titles song, "Half Light" (by Tomandandy/Alan Sharhawk/Mimi Parker, whoever they are).

The only valid criticism, and it's one I don't put much value on, would be the pretense that the movie's events are based on true events. that shtick is getting old.

Seen this movie in 2003 so it may be slightly higher rated than it deserves.

First Viewing: 2003

53. The Hole in the Ground (2019)

R | 90 min | Drama, Horror, Mystery

63 Metascore

A single mother living in the Irish countryside with her son begins to suspect he may not be her son at all, and fears his increasingly disturbing behavior is linked to a mysterious sinkhole in the forest behind their house.

Director: Lee Cronin | Stars: Seána Kerslake, James Quinn Markey, Kati Outinen, David Crowley

Votes: 22,384 | Gross: $0.02M

evil kids, mystery

8/10

SPOILERS

It takes literally dozens of horror films to rummage through - and get bored senseless with - until you finally come across a good one.

Considering the appalling state of cinema in this decadent age of Cultural-Marxist brainwashing/dumbing-down, I was recently beginning to wonder if there WERE any more good films around, or whether I was completely wasting my time expecting to find another very rare exception. (I've not reviewed much in recent years precisely because my interest for movies has dropped, mostly as a result of a fairly sudden drop in quality since around the turn of the century.)

Naturally, I didn't really expect an American film to break the mold, to end the streak of bad/average movies, much less a flick from the unholiest of all unholy places, Unhollywood. So it's a small wonder the film is Irish. Not because UK/Ireland are well-known for their quality horrors (they most certainly aren't), of course, but in the sense that it isn't a mainstream, commercial, big-budget stinker from Tinselhell stuffed full with a nepotist/elitist cast and directed/written by hacks and nitwits.

You can read the entire review here:

https://www.imdb.com/review/rw5282455/?ref_=rw_urv

Downer ending: no........

First Viewing: 2019

54. Disturbed (1990)

R | 96 min | Horror, Thriller

10 years ago the perverse Dr. Russell couldn't resist the beauty of a young patient in his mental clinic and raped her one night. When she plunged herself from the roof shortly after, he ... See full summary »

Director: Charles Winkler | Stars: Malcolm McDowell, Geoffrey Lewis, Priscilla Pointer, Pamela Gidley

Votes: 1,893

semi-comedy, thriller, mystery, revenge, non-supernatural

8/10

With a cast like this, you can't go wrong. Malcolm McDowell, Geoffrey Lewis and the fairly attractive female lead. Add to that a fun premise and a story that develops very nicely, and you can't bitch too much.

The major plot-twist is far-fetched, sure, but it's a comedy.

Low rating and a very low number of votes... Because most film-goers are morons, right?

Downer ending: no.......

First Viewing: 1992 (3 times)

55. Haunter (2013)

Not Rated | 97 min | Fantasy, Horror, Mystery

49 Metascore

A teenager is stuck in a time loop that is not quite the same each time. She must uncover the truth, but her actions have consequences for herself and others.

Director: Vincenzo Natali | Stars: Abigail Breslin, Peter Outerbridge, Michelle Nolden, Stephen McHattie

Votes: 18,721

haunted house, mystery

8/10

It combines "Groundhog Day" with haunted house cliches. So what? When an overrated director wins 12 Oscars for yet another cliche relationshit drama, nobody complains, but somehow the fantasy genre is expected to re-invent itself with every movie. It's a very good movie with water-tight logic, which is more than can be said for Argento's vastly overrated duds.

Downer ending: no..............

First Viewing: 2016

56. Southbound (2015)

R | 89 min | Horror

58 Metascore

Five interlocking tales of terror follow the fates of a group of weary travellers who confront their worst nightmares - and darkest secrets - over one long night on a desolate stretch of desert highway.

Directors: Roxanne Benjamin, Matt Bettinelli-Olpin, David Bruckner, Tyler Gillett, Patrick Horvath, Justin Martinez, Radio Silence, Chad Villella | Stars: Chad Villella, Matt Bettinelli-Olpin, Kristina Pesic, Fabianne Therese

Votes: 21,415 | Gross: $0.01M

remote location, mystery, malevolent, semi-anthology, home invasion

8/10

SPOILERS

None of the criticism of the movie (in the reviews section) focuses on the real - and only - major flaw, and that's a total lack of a moral compass in the stories. (Not surprising, since nihilism is so very fashionable among millennials.) It seems to be sadism for the sake of it. There is no rhyme or reason regarding who gets away and who doesn't, and yet the radio DJ is spewing some philosophical nonsense about guilt and whatever. Nor do we find out precisely how guilty (and of what exactly) most of the characters are to end up in what is essentially Hell, or at the very least the very nasty side of The Twilight Zone. A movie about Hell that revolves around morality in some way (as suggested by the DJ) needs to have some underlying and logical division between right and wrong, between guilt and innocence, otherwise it's just a Hell that randomly kills people. Which it is.

NO SPOILERS

Aside from that, it's quite a fun film because it's quite unpredictable (at least in the sense of how the plot meanders), very well shot, and somewhat original if not exactly a breakthrough with its Twilight-Zoneish concept. Despite each "story"/chapter being directed by a different person the movie flows wonderfully.

It's certainly a lot more interesting to watch than the typical slasher or dumb serial-killer-with-superpowers flick. If you are tired of boring horror films, get this. You won't be bored even for a minute.

Downer ending: yes...

Viewings: 2016, 2022

57. Angel Heart (1987)

X | 113 min | Horror, Mystery, Thriller

61 Metascore

A private investigator is hired by a man who calls himself Louis Cyphre to track down a singer named Johnny Favorite. But the investigation takes an unexpected and somber turn.

Director: Alan Parker | Stars: Mickey Rourke, Robert De Niro, Lisa Bonet, Charlotte Rampling

Votes: 95,881 | Gross: $17.19M

mystery

8/10

Downer ending: yes.....

First Viewing: 1988 (twice)

58. The Devil's Advocate (1997)

R | 144 min | Drama, Fantasy, Mystery

60 Metascore

An exceptionally-adept Florida lawyer is offered a job at a high-end New York City law firm with a high-end boss--the biggest opportunity of his career to date.

Director: Taylor Hackford | Stars: Keanu Reeves, Al Pacino, Charlize Theron, Jeffrey Jones

Votes: 402,191 | Gross: $60.98M

religious horror, thriller, mystery

8/10

Strengths: story, dialog, Al Pacino

Weaknesses: Keanu Reeves can't act, Connie Nielson has fake boobs

First Viewing: 1999

59. Spring (I) (2014)

Not Rated | 109 min | Horror, Romance, Sci-Fi

70 Metascore

A young man in a personal tailspin flees from US to Italy, where he sparks up a romance with a woman harboring a dark, primordial secret.

Directors: Justin Benson, Aaron Moorhead | Stars: Lou Taylor Pucci, Nadia Hilker, Francesco Carnelutti, Nick Nevern

Votes: 31,416 | Gross: $0.05M

mystery, romance, monster

8/10

Strengths: female lead, originality

Weaknesses: male lead somewhat miscast

From the makers of "The Endless", here's another very good horror film. But not just: Benson and Moorhead don't do "straight" horror films. That'd be too boring. They are highly talented, and clearly far more ambitious than your run-of-the-mill horror hineys who only seem to understand (and feel comfortable around) clichés. The other film is a sci-fi mystery, this time we get a romantic drama. (Obviously the chronological order is reversed.) These two are the closest to any kind of "great cinematic hopes" that I've come across is in a very long time. I just hope they don't get swallowed up by America's contemporary quality-crushing, imagination-destroying, politically-charged film industry, in which case they well be reduced to utter uselessness like all the others. The most promising directors/writers - the extremely few there are - do perhaps one good movie then immediately fall off the wagon, never becoming productive again. (Creating garbage does not count as being productive, obviously.) Odds are that Benson and Moorehead will start failing in the future too, but who knows...

You can read the entire review here:

https://www.imdb.com/review/rw5915521/?ref_=tt_urv

Downer ending: no

First Viewing: 2020

60. Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters (2013)

R | 88 min | Action, Fantasy, Horror

23 Metascore

Brother/sister duo Hansel and Gretel are professional witch-hunters who help innocent villagers. One day they stumble upon a case that could hold the key to their past.

Director: Tommy Wirkola | Stars: Jeremy Renner, Gemma Arterton, Peter Stormare, Famke Janssen

Votes: 216,810 | Gross: $55.70M

fairy tale, action, witchery, historical, superhero

8/10

Brainless but fun flick with good CGI, nice visuals and plenty of action. Gemma Arterton was thankfully cast, and not some damn nepotist fugly, and that does make a difference. I have no clue why witchery is rarely explored in horror films; there's just so much potential there, a wide variety of plots and characters offer themselves when it comes to witches.

Downer ending: no

First Viewing: 2016

61. Village of the Damned (1960)

Not Rated | 77 min | Horror, Sci-Fi

77 Metascore

In the English village of Midwich, the blonde-haired, glowing-eyed children of uncertain paternity prove to have frightening powers.

Director: Wolf Rilla | Stars: George Sanders, Barbara Shelley, Martin Stephens, Michael Gwynn

Votes: 19,146

mystery, sci-fi, evil kids

8/10

Now that there is a colour version, I am liable to give this another go.

Downer ending: mostly no

First Viewing: 1995

62. Necromentia (2009)

Not Rated | 82 min | Horror

Explores the use of a tattooed Ouija Board through the lives and perspectives of 4 people.

Director: Pearry Reginald Teo | Stars: Layton Matthews, Chad Grimes, Santiago Craig, Zelieann Rivera

Votes: 1,842

sadistic

8/10

Dark and unpleasant, but well made, mysterious, and with a good twist.

First Viewing: 2012

63. The Deaths of Ian Stone (2007)

R | 87 min | Horror, Thriller

An all-American guy is murdered each day by horrifying pursuers, only to wake up in slightly different lives to experience the terror of being murdered again.

Director: Dario Piana | Stars: Mike Vogel, Jaime Murray, Christina Cole, Michael Feast

Votes: 13,657

mystery, thriller, monsters, parallel worlds

8/10

It's quite rare to come across a very good horror film. On the other hand, I'm a little disappointed that it turned out to be one - after a much more sci-fi first third.

SPOILERS

The first half-hour sets up a terrific, confusing mystery, reminding of movies such as "Dark City", "Matrix", and even "Possible Worlds". However, I felt a bit of a letdown when the story parked itself firmly in horror-film territory; not exactly cliché material, but nevertheless a story with demons and monsters, which has its limits as far as originality goes. Still, the disappointment is minor, and all's well that ends well i.e. there are no (major) logic holes, only a few unanswered questions pertaining to this "parallel world" of vampire-demons who are literally hooked on human pain and fear, like junkies.

Although the movie might have been (even) better had its basic - initial - premise been explored and developed into a more sci-fi/drama twist, the story does remain interesting throughout, and does offer a new angle and a few surprises to the mostly stale horror genre. (Hell, which genre isn't stale these days. Some are downright dead. At least there is still the odd great horror or even sci-fi film, but where are the great new gangster dramas? Comedies? Biopics? Regular dramas? All crap.)

The only bigger criticism would be the casting of Jaime Murray. (Isn't that the name of Andy Murray's tennis-playing younger brother? What's with these bloody pointless, confusing unisex names?) She is a silly, semi-competent over-actor, and rather repellent physically as well: she appears to have done excessive corrective surgery which gives her a horrible look. Sure, one might argue that this menacing, awful face is suitable for playing a monster, but that's a small "consolation" because she comes off as a low-grade imitation of any lesser Bond villain (some of whom, were, sadly enough, played by other overacting nepotists such as she is). Still, at least Christina Cole is rather cute, so that kind of balances things out on the female front.

Naturally, in such a convoluted, extravagant fantasy the explanations can't all be satisfactory; the logic inevitably turns out not to be completely water-tight. Why did Ryan Philippe Clone (Stone) forget everything? Why did he hide the truth from himself? Did he initiate the amnesia? Why? What was his secret weapon i.e. why was he the only one capable of killing the harvesters? We never find out what was so special about his fighting skills since he used the exact same weapons as the rest of them do - yet he was the only one who can kill his kind. Why didn't Jamie "Jaws" Murray kill Cole when she had the chance? How come it took the monsters so long to figure out that the blonde keeps repeating in the new lives?

Also, these creatures have the power to re-start reality, in a sense, hence their powers are practically god-like. But it isn't entirely clear how they kick-start a new "Ian Stone episode" every time.

None of that matters though, because the plot is so interesting. Besides, the production values are good: this isn't some cheap B-movie that looks as if was made on a shoestring Donald Duck budget.

https://www.imdb.com/review/rw1955206/?ref_=tt_urv

Downer ending: no.......

Viewings: 2008, 2023

64. The Autopsy of Jane Doe (2016)

R | 86 min | Horror, Mystery, Thriller

65 Metascore

A father and son, both coroners, are pulled into a complex mystery while attempting to identify the cause of death of a young woman who was apparently harboring dark secrets.

Director: André Øvredal | Stars: Brian Cox, Emile Hirsch, Ophelia Lovibond, Michael McElhatton

Votes: 139,485 | Gross: $0.01M

mystery, splatter, demonic, mono-setting

8/10

Strengths: mood, premise, mystery, slickness, originality

Weaknesses: minor inconsistencies

The first half is great. A fascinating mystery gradually unfolds, well acted and with intelligent, realistic dialogue.

The 2nd half isn't quite as good, partly because of minor illogicalities such as the motives for the demon/ghost alternating between attack and respite. Plus Cox's reluctance to believe that something demonic is going on, despite abundant evidence that would even have Richard Dawkins running for the door. The demon/ghost should have never given the protagonists an opportunity to solve the mystery hence try to defeat her. But OK, perhaps the entity was so sure in itself it preferred to play with its victims.

There are no major logic flaws though, the script is fairly tight, although it gives no real answers. The speculations are offered by the characters and it's up to the viewers whether they will take these explanations as valid or not.

This is the first well-rated recently made horror film that deserves the praise, in many years. Usually, these kinds of high-rated/high-vote modern films stink.

https://www.imdb.com/review/rw6058819/?ref_=ur_urv

Downer ending: yes, evil wins completely

First Viewing: 2020

65. Dashcam (I) (2021)

R | 80 min | Horror

48 Metascore

Two friends embark on a horror-fueled road trip and livestream the most terrifying night of their lives.

Director: Rob Savage | Stars: Annie Hardy, Amar Chadha-Patel, Angela Enahoro, Seylan Baxter

Votes: 6,221

camcorder, web-cam, comedy, demonic

8/10

I can't believe I'm giving this an 8/10, but I can't remember the last time a woman made me laugh like this, and that's no small thing. Irony: she's not even a comedienne, much less an actress. (Yet she is great here.) Funny women are more rare than blue moons, so when I find one (which is on every 11th blue moon, on average) I tend to appreciate it as all good rare things should be.

Especially women with character and spunk, but without forcing a phony-baloney "girl power" agenda. (That kind of chip-on-shoulder female routine is cringe. Those types are deeply insecure.) Not self-conscious at all, she just lets it rip, no apologies - least of all to her numerous snowflakey haters which she refers to as "whiny Antifa bitches". (More on that a little later.)

The great irony - and a typical idiocy of this pre-Orwellian era - is that nearly all "critics" (i.e. dishonest left-wingers) - claim that Annie ruins or at least mars the movie because of her "awful, annoying personality". The complete opposite is true: it is primarily her wild, hilarious, devil-may-care, direct and honest nature that makes the movie work. With any other "proper actor" in the lead instead of her this movie would have been just another decent horror film, nothing memorable. Her involvement elevates the film.

In fact, by all accounts she'd been screwed over financially (paid very little, a measly 7,000 pounds) and wasn't even given writing credit, despite the obvious fact that much of the dialog was improvised, and that the jokes were hers. She plays herself, and she is quite likely the only right-winger in the entire cast and crew (if I know the film industry well), or at least the only one that dares be one openly.

This film personifies totally unabashed insanity. Annie Hardy, of whom I'd never heard before, more-or-less plays a hyper version of herself. In reality she fronts a band called Giant Drag, of which I'd also never heard of. Clearly a nutcase, in real life as well as in this hilarious spoof of found-footage films. The reactions she got on IMDb had me amused too, serving as a sort of small bonus after I'd finished laughing at her lengthy end-credits rap - which you definitely shouldn't skip. The last time somebody (ab)used the credits this originally and in such a fun way were the Pythons. All my life I'd finish movies and read the myriad of ridiculous names in the credits, but finally somebody takes all those names (or at least these ones here) and has some fun with them. Childishly. Nothing wrong with that at all. There's a time for clever humour and there's a time for the toilet type, just as there's a time for heavy music and a time for mellow stuff...

(To give you an idea how much her haters detest Hardy, just consider the fact that some reviewers complained about her "lack of flow" and "worst white-chick rap I've ever heard". These nitwits actually nitpicked about the "quality" of her rap, in what was clearly intended to be funny, and nothing else. Or do these people really think she was planing to release this "song" as a single and storm the charts with it? People are absurd.)

The REASON Annie triggered so many negative reactions (a whole third of the "reviews"/rants are 1-star comments, which is very rare for a 4.6 average) is very simple: she plays (or is) the epitome of everything liberals hate - an outspoken right-winger/freethinker who takes the mickey. Her shirt says "No Liberals". There are numerous political references: to Antifa, to MeToo, BLM, feminazis, libtards, (don't get angry at ME, I'm just quoting/listing the words/topics used/mentioned here), and there's a number of Covidiotic conspiracy stuff strewn all over the script as well.

Just to briefly sidetrack: the reason why so many right-wingers fell into the covidiot trap is because the Left Establishment cried "wolf" so often in the past that the Right learned not to trust them on ANYTHING anymore. I.e. if you lie and lie and lie for decades - then suddenly you do finally tell an important truth - many skeptics are liable to not believe you. That, in a nutshell, is what happened with the whole anti-mask anti-vaccine nonsense. I instantly understood it, as soon as it became clear that the vaxxers/anti-vaxxers were being divided mostly along political lines, not randomly. The Liberal Establishment is mostly to blame for the negative backlash and the suspicion, because they'd so poisoned the cultural and political aspects of life on Earth, since the 90s, that (smart) people have a hard time believing them anything, in those rare cases when they actually tell the truth. (Which is on every 15th blue moon.)

If the reverse had been the case - i.e. the Right had bullied the West for 30-40 years and dominated all of culture and politics, BS-ing everyone, then all those pro-vaccine Antifa kids would have been covidiotic i.e. anti-vaxxers. It really is that simple. And logical. In fact, if suddenly the Left decided that Covid never existed, and that it was invented all along by the Right, liberal sheep would buy into that too, and quickly. They'll believe anything their media tells them. Pro-vaxx liberals aren't smart, they are obedient: there's a big difference...

Anyway, now that I've cleared that up, back to the movie...

Yes, Annie Hardy survives about a dozen car-crashes and zombie attacks, pretty much unscathed, and so is her web-cam equipment... But, one must realize (unless one is a complete fool) that this is a comedy first-and-foremost, and then a horror film. After all, none of the supernatural events are explained; they exist simply as a sub-plot to Annie's antics, some of which are hilarious at best, and interesting at worst. Not many dull moments here. Annie's original personality shines throughout, making sure the film rarely has any lulls, and I'm convinced nobody could have replaced her. In fact, the role was written with her in mind, anyway. She got a very small script, consisting only of a few pages of a basic outline of events: the rest was ad-lib stuff that was mostly hers.

"You asked him to do that, so don't later #MeToo him, OK?" That line, said almost unnoticeably during one of the frenetic action scenes, made me laugh for several minutes. Annie's brazen mockery of the Liberal World is sometimes so spot on and well-timed you'd think she was a top-notch comedy writer. Admittedly, three other people wrote this, and I don't know how much was improvised...

It should be interesting to find out whether these three co-writers (who took all the credit) will get blacklisted for being involved in this movie - something most "liberals" would probably support, despite being so "liberal"... The big joke, of course, is that Annie "wrote" large portions of the script (by that I mean a lot of the dialog is hers - ad-libbed) hence these political opinions don't represent the views of the director and his writing team - who are probably all the polar opposites (because how else can you get to forge a movie career these days?). And yet, the director and the "writers" took all the writing credits for themselves - just so they can pay Annie less than they really owe her. Film-makers: as much as they like to impersonate idealists and do-gooders, they always place money above political affiliation... If this weren't the case, these 3 writers would have washed their hands from the project, claiming that "Annie basically wrote the whole thing, we had little to do with this filth".

Still, it should be interesting to find out whether their careers will suffer as a result of being so closely associated with a Trump supporter and her views. Perhaps they took all the money while telling everyone that "it's just a movie, and all those views represented in it aren't ours". Wanting to have it both ways: to claim ownership hence the money yet disassociate themselves from Hardy and her politics. In fact, Hardy had stated that she was tricked by the makers, including the director who she claims was her boyfriend for quite a while...

Hardy never intended her character to be this obnoxious. If Libs want to be rabidly angry at anyone, it should be Rob Savage, the director. He insisted that Annie plays it "as obnoxiously as you can" (he used those words, according to Annie). Don't get me wrong, I am glad she played it this extreme, because this over-the-top characterization is largely what makes the movie entertaining. However, it is interesting how Rob used her, in a way, knowing full well that he'd market the film later in such a way as to absolve himself from the "responsibility", by throwing Annie under the train instead. That's the film industry for ya: if you're new, naive and trusting you get screwed over royally.

Annie has lready mentioned several times that she feels her media career is over. She didn't mention the word "blacklisted" but that is what she is referring to. She says all the doors are shutting down, which is of course exactly what happens to nearly all dissenting voices in "mainstream" show-biz, especially the film industry which is run like the USSR. Under Stalin, Lenin and the others the Russian film industry also only allowed ONE type of political opinion - which is precisely the current situation in the U.S. of A. and its own film industry, very fittingly mostly situated in NY and L.A., the world capitals of liberalism and decay.

Just to clarify though: she never voted for Trump. By her own accounts she voted for Kanye... That makes the hate she receives even more absurd. 99% of the rabid haters who would most gladly crucify her given half a chance are convinced she is a Trump supporter.

And even if she was... Where's the problem? Is the U.S. of A. still a democracy, as it used to be, or not anymore? Make up yer mind, Libs, ye can't have it both ways: democratic - yet aldso Fascist-Communist i.e. politically one-sided, shutting down all right-wing voices. You are one or the other, they are mutually exclusive.

There's plenty of toilet humour here too, so beware. It's definitely not for everyone. But I guess when a liberal comedian does this then it's OK, right? Liberal hypocrisy, it is an endless stream...

In fact, you do the math... If all the "tolerant pro-diversity" users who rated this movie 1/10 out of POLITICAL hatred were to be taken out of the average, then that number would rise from 4.6 to probably something like 6.5. So, never trust the hype, nor the anti-hype as is the case here. Lots of Red hysteria surrounds every person or movie who dares voice different opinions from the Marxist Establishment. And I love it how some of them pretend to hate the movie for reasons unrelated to its politics: that's amusing too.

It is quite refreshing for all those inflexible liberals to get a taste of their own medicine, to be annoyed by a politically-INcorrect movie, for a change. They get routinely spoiled by the Establishment parroting the same dumb slogans to them in practically every movie; leftist film-goers are totally unused to DISSENT. Not even a bit of it because extremely few movies and TV shows go that way. The irony being that for democracy to work one always needs DISSENT, because without dissenting voices you get an Orwellian atmosphere, which is Fascist in nature... and they're all allegedly against it. (I mean, they're allegedly against Fascism, not nature. Though coincidentally, they are against nature too.)

"I am sorry that you are being hypnotized by the mainstream media that you think you're anti-Fascist when in fact you're Fascist because you won't let people like me have our own beliefs."

Another funny (and very true) bit, funny because of the context in which it was said, which comes at a totally odd time. Which part of this do liberals not understand though? You can't call yourself "liberal" (a proponent of freedom, in other words) yet strive to have only one worldview represented by the media and in politics. It's one of their most obvious, dumbest contradictions. Lies lies lies indeed.

One of the things that make this movie totally mad is this up-and-down rhythm of action-filled horror scenes alternating with toilet humour and political provocation. Unusual. It may be off-putting to some people, but it was about time that finally a movie comes out that politically does the complete opposite of the usual leftist propaganda rubbish.

After every close call with the enemy (the ghouls and the "Antifa bitch"), it didn't take Annie long to start joking again, which KINDA sums up this movie... It's a COMEDY. Whoever fails to understand this can't be helped.

Posted. (The much shorter version than this.)

Downer ending: to liberals definitely a downer, but to others no

First viewing: 2023 (twice)

66. Glorious (2022)

79 min | Horror, Mystery, Thriller

60 Metascore

After a breakup, Wes ends up at a remote rest stop. He finds himself locked inside the bathroom with a mysterious figure speaking from an adjacent stall. Soon Wes realizes he is involved in a situation more terrible than he could imagine.

Director: Rebekah McKendry | Stars: Ryan Kwanten, J.K. Simmons, Sylvia Grace Crim, André Lamar

Votes: 7,212

mystery, serial-killer, lovecraftian, mono-setting, sci-fi

8/10

This movie's average - 5.6 - is definitive proof (as if we needed it) that horror fans (and just movie-goers in general) are not interested in either original or intelligent content. Feed the swine with their own manure and trash, and they're happy. No pearls for swine, no gems, don't give them anything of substance. They don't want it. They might even hate you for it, or at best will "forgive" you for trying to give them something more meaningful than vapid home invasion thrillers and torture-porn. When there's no gore, they moan, because only sadism gives them the will to live. If there IS gore, they moan that it isn't explicit enough: not enough sadism, not enough screaming, they need to really hear and feel the characters' pain and agony to be happy in life.

Explanation: with only 5,000 people placing their votes, this should have at least a 6.5 average. At the very least. Instead, it is rated as if it were just another run-of-the-mill obscure horror film, but somewhat better than average. But this is far better than average. Obviously.

SPOILERS

Which VERY ironically brings me to the basic premise - the saving of this universe. Does a universe populated with such garbage even deserve the self-sacrifice of a serial-killer? I am not sure it does.

(I had to throw in those spoiler protectors because you might by chance read the crux of the movie, and I don't want you to have the film ruined by you reading this text. It's too good to ruin.)

MORE SPOILERS

I had on occasion wondered, just for the hell of it, what it would be like if someone saved the world (or the universe), yet nobody ever found out about it and the hero was destined for eternal obscurity: how weird, ironic, tragic yet fascinating that would be. (Obviously, I would only know about it... Because I'd be the hero! Just kidding: not bloody likely.) So, in a sense, I had a grain of an idea for this film many years before it was made.

Of course, there's more to it than "just" the saving of the universe - which I don't necessarily agree is worth saving. For example, if I had been put in this guy's shoes I would have said: "what's the big deal? there are numerous universes, this one is just one of many in the all-encompassing multiverse, so why should I undergo the tortures of the damned to save it? especially since it's such a shithole anyway, AND it might just be one of millions of simulations which pushes it into insignificance even further."

But that's just me. Would YOU have done a harakiri to get yer liver out for some random "demon"? Me, not a chance in 57 hells. I wouldn't have cut a finger off for any bloody noble sacrifice, let alone performed major butcheric surgery devoid of anesthesia on myself. But then a serial-killer of all people does it, which is a nifty idea from the perspective of originality, but logic-wise is rather far-fetched.

Granted, he isn't a psychopath, i.e. he is capable of love and empathy. He is a sociopath, i.e. a person not necessarily born into serial-killing (as some psychopaths are) but pushed into it by his (for example) awful upbringing (helped greatly by a genetic potential to inflict great harm on people for purely sadistic reasons, because no serial-killing sociopath is born "pure" and "unspoiled": that's a left-wing myth). His father was a tyrant and his mother shot herself, as is explained. A classic sociopath hence, which does allow for emotional attachment.

Hence I accept the plot-twist that he is a serial-killer. Besides, I'd anyway suspected that he killed his girlfriend, Brenda. Not that it makes total sense, because at the start of the movie he phones her, which means she must be alive. Plus, he is asked to save the universe for HER - which would be kinda pointless if he'd already killed her. Either that, or he was already losing his marbles by this point.

And anyway, WHY pick a down-on-his-luck loser who never harmed anyone to sacrifice his life? Makes more sense to put a killer through such an unpleasant ordeal.

The best thing about this film is that it's literally never boring, not even for a second. Plus, it is undeniably original.

The first truly good film from this decade that I'd come across, and it was about time... Perhaps there are more?

Not from Netflix there aren't.

Posted.

Downer ending: no.......

First Viewing: 2023

67. Livid (2011)

Not Rated | 92 min | Fantasy, Horror

The suggestion of a big treasure hidden somewhere inside Mrs Jessel's once renowned classical dance academy will become an irresistible lure to a fiendish trap for Lucie and her friends.

Directors: Alexandre Bustillo, Julien Maury | Stars: Chloé Coulloud, Félix Moati, Jérémy Kapone, Catherine Jacob

Votes: 7,804

vampires, haunted house, french

8/10

Considering what an utter piece of crap "Inside" was, it's a good thing I didn't know that "Livide" came from the same pens and minds – otherwise I would have avoided it. While with several loose ends, the plot of "Livide" is infinitely more logical than the legendarily idiotic and sadistic-for-the-sake-of-it "Inside": this – in spite of "Livide" being a supernatural horror film, whereas "Inside" is a thriller. Still, at least "Inside" has a lot of style going for it (if only zero substance), having hinted that its creators might be able to achieve something worthwhile eventually; and they did, a surprisingly good job.

"Livide" is a refreshingly original take on the by-now very worn-out vampire genre. Frankly, if I see another set of fangs going into a screaming maiden's neck, I'll either puke or break my jaw yawning. "Livide" is nothing of the sort though; in fact, vampirism isn't even revealed until about an hour into the movie. Once it is, it is given a whole new spin for the viewer to have fun with. Not to mention how well-filmed all of this is; French movies rarely disappoint in the visual department.

You can read the entire review here:

https://www.imdb.com/review/rw2929204/?ref_=tt_urv

First Viewing: 2013

68. Alien: Resurrection (1997)

R | 109 min | Action, Horror, Sci-Fi

62 Metascore

Two centuries after her death, a powerful human/alien hybrid clone of Ellen Ripley aids a crew of space pirates in stopping the aliens from reaching Earth.

Director: Jean-Pierre Jeunet | Stars: Sigourney Weaver, Winona Ryder, Dominique Pinon, Ron Perlman

Votes: 263,602 | Gross: $47.75M

space sci-fi, crime, medical experiments, monster

8/10

Strengths: visuals, sets, mood, special effects, suspense

Weaknesses: Wynona Ryder as a friggin' android, some stupid dialog, silly characters, flawed script

I'm not sure I agree with even having a fourth party in the "trilogy", or ex-trilogy. The third part had a glorious and finite ending. But when you combine the DNA from the dead Ripley and the DNA from the head of a Hollywood studio you get a monster that is for all practical purposes immortal. The film is visually up to the standard of the series, perhaps even better-looking than some of the others. Jeunet, as is evident in "Amelie Poulain", knows his way with visuals so there is no problem there. There is also no problem cast-wise... almost.

You can read the entire review here:

https://www.imdb.com/review/rw1574647/?ref_=tt_urv

Downer ending: maybe not, maybe yes, but for this franchise this is the most upper ending of all the films

First Viewing: 1997 (3 times)

69. They're Watching (2016)

Not Rated | 95 min | Comedy, Horror, Thriller

39 Metascore

The renovation of an old house in a village somewhere in Eastern Europe will bring the crew of an American home improvement TV show up against superstitions, misunderstandings and bloody violence.

Directors: Jay Lender, Micah Wright | Stars: Mia Marcon, Kris Lemche, David Alpay, Brigid Brannagh

Votes: 4,974

camcorder, comedy, witchery, remote location

8/10

Thoroughly enjoyable found-footage comedy that succeeds despite its stupid camcorder bull's shite, and not because of it - I just needed to make sure that's understood, coz I don't want to ever promote found-footage as a valid film-making style. Without the trendy first-person narrative, this would have been an even better movie.

The first half, aside from the needless/stupid first-scene spoiler (which I cleverly skipped), is a comedy, sort of like a very amusing satire of reality TV programs. The thriller starts very late, then suddenly explodes into full blown fantasy-horror. The spectacular finish may be the film's highlight: quite bombastic and to some extent original even. I truly don't understand why so few (modern) horror films focus on witchery, coz that's a subject that can be explored in very different ways - unlike zombies and vampires which have been bled dry and over-milked already.

The reason the long wait (for the action to start) was not an issue is because the characters are interesting (a rare thing in horror) and coz the dialog is entertaining and natural. There are quite a few good gags, many of them based on hick-mockery. One can laugh at the primitive Moldavian peasants ("Borat" must have been an inspiration) as much as we can sneer at the arrogant, clueless Americans who mock them.

Somewhere at the half-way point I started suspecting that Becky was a witch, but the movie keeps you guessing until the big reveal. If you pay attention to details, especially the first few minutes, you can figure this out early on. It's nevertheless a great twist. And then another one at the very end, which also makes perfect sense in light of what transpires between Becky and the sidekick. This thing needs a sequel.

Downer ending: yes, but spectacular

First Viewing: 2016

70. Broil (2020)

TV-14 | 90 min | Fantasy, Horror, Thriller

Broil follows a dysfunctional family vying to control the future of their wealth.

Director: Edward Drake | Stars: Jonathan Lipnicki, Avery Konrad, Timothy V. Murphy, Corey Large

Votes: 1,864

vampires, demons, cannibal, arthouse

8/10

If you want something very different, try this. A bizarre little obscurity that will at first greatly confuse you, but if you stick with it you'll have fun. The first 20-30 minutes will leave you bewildered, maybe even questioning whether to go on or not. Almost like an (unintentional) Umberto Eco test.

The premise itself is original enough to not require/warrant such an eccentric treatment. If somebody (competent) had done this story in a conventional manner it would/could have been a very good film too. However, the weirdness gives it a special something; it was a risk because it could have become a big minus but eventually this decision turns out to be correct. In the hands of somebody less intelligent and/or lazy and/or greedy this premise could have failed abysmally, with or without the arthouse approach.

For example, the Soska sisters. They would have turned this premise into utter nonsense; it would have been just an excuse for an orgy of sadistic violence and excessive gore without an iota of meaning or sense. Doubtlessly though, such a garbage version of this story would have had a much higher rating and been much more successful, because the dumbed-down Soska approach to film-making has a lot more adherents than this unique approach. Because the vast majority of film-goers are zombies, especially horror movie fans who tend to be extremely stupid and misanthropic. After all, aren't most of them huge fans of Stephen King, the Master of Garbage? Sure they are.

One smaller criticism I'd have is Dakota's character, who seems to be there as comic relief. I don't believe this movie needed any comedy, whatever little there is of it. Admittedly, Chance is a fairly ditsy character too.

Which brings me neatly to another small flaw. Chance losing the battle to Dakota doesn't necessarily make sense. On the other hand, her failure to defeat Dakota could be excused by her reluctance to kill innocent people.

The origin of Chef isn't entirely clear, though that is less of an issue than the fact that his sister lived and worked not far from him.


https://www.imdb.com/review/rw6059439/?ref_=ur_urv

Downer ending: no........

First Viewing: 2020

71. Underworld: Evolution (2006)

R | 106 min | Action, Fantasy, Thriller

36 Metascore

Picking up directly from the previous movie, vampire warrior Selene and the half werewolf Michael hunt for clues to reveal the history of their races and the war between them.

Director: Len Wiseman | Stars: Kate Beckinsale, Scott Speedman, Bill Nighy, Tony Curran

Votes: 209,296 | Gross: $62.32M

vampires, werewolf, action, mono-colour

8/10

Strengths: slickness, effects, fast pace

Weaknesses: Kate Beckinsale is a robot

The "Underworld" series is perhaps the only high-quality movie franchise based on either a computer game or a comic book (sorry, nerds... GRAPHIC NOVEL). I was very surprised that I actually found myself enjoying both films, considering that I am usually bored by these types of modern commercial fantasy-action films, plus the fact that I consider vampire/werewolf-themed horror films to be a dead genre. (Fangs are dull, dogs are dull.) The plot in U2 is not as full of twists as in the first installment, but the visual slickness and the fun action scenes are still there. The "Underworld" movies are far better than "Blade" and "Van Helsing" combined.

Admittedly, Kate Beckinsale has the acting skills of an android, but this is hardly a medieval drama or satire.

https://www.imdb.com/review/rw1854518/?ref_=tt_urv

First Viewing: 2008

72. Death Ship (1980)

R | 91 min | Adventure, Horror, Mystery

10 Metascore

A mysterious ghostly freighter rams and sinks a modern day cruise ship whose survivors climb aboard the freighter and discover that it is a World War II Nazi torture vessel.

Director: Alvin Rakoff | Stars: George Kennedy, Richard Crenna, Nick Mancuso, Sally Ann Howes

Votes: 5,702

haunted ship

8/10

I'm a sucker for ghost ship films, so don't expect me to be too objective.

A Nazi ghost-ship unexpectedly changes its mind. The reasons? Read below.

SPOILERS

An unmanned German WW2 ghost-ship from the past spends its abundant free time by seeking out cruise-ships and ramming itself into them, sinking them. It's a peculiar hobby for a ship to have, I admit, but one that allowed this fairly fun story to unfold.

George Kennedy, who always sticks in my mind primarily as a cop from the "Naked Gun" movies (even though I've seen him in many other movies), is at first a little hard to accept as the movie's Main Menace; I sort of half-expected to at any moment see Leslie Nielsen hanging around on deck as well, tripping over things. Kennedy plays a perpetually grumpy, misanthropic soon-to-be ex-Captain of a cruise-ship, so – naturally – the Nazi ship has an eye on him to become its new captain: he might just be evil enough to steer it yet more "large circles" around the Atlantic.

You can read the entire review here:

https://www.imdb.com/review/rw2717533/?ref_=tt_urv

First Viewing: 2012

73. Lifeforce (1985)

R | 101 min | Action, Horror, Mystery

50 Metascore

A race of space vampires arrives in London and infects the populace, beginning an apocalyptic descent into chaos.

Director: Tobe Hooper | Stars: Steve Railsback, Mathilda May, Peter Firth, Frank Finlay

Votes: 29,497 | Gross: $11.60M

sci-fi, vampire, zombie

8/10

Cameron Diaz running around naked, as a symbol of female perfection? I don't think so.

A totally loony, idiotic film, but very entertaining. And a gorgeous female lead walking around naked throughout: that helps too. Ample-bosom too, not flat like a boy - as these newer starlets are. Diaz won't mention any names.

"Do you have the girl with you?" asks Firth over the phone. "Yes", comes the response from the helicopter. Cut to Patrick Stewart, the "girl". Cam-py. It's a safe bet that Stewart has never been called a "girl", in any other movie before or since.

The movie that has it all: science fiction, vampires, demons, zombies, and the best pair of breasts in quite a while, all rolled into one strange concoction. Starts off as sci-fi, but eventually becomes an end-of-the-world zombie-takeover apocalypse flick. The truly nerdy film fans (i.e. the ones who take movies far too seriously, the kind with large bellies, in their 20s and 30s, living with their parents, and with a copy of "Das Kapital" under their pillow) might debate for days on end whether people in LF were turned into zombies or vampires. I suppose if were to call them "zombires" (or "vampombies") we could settle that quickly and get the nerds to focus on some other irrelevant detail in movie-land.

You can read the entire review here:

https://www.imdb.com/review/rw2534573/?ref_=tt_urv

First Viewing: 2011

74. The Devil Rides Out (1968)

G | 95 min | Horror

Devil worshipers plan to convert two new victims.

Director: Terence Fisher | Stars: Christopher Lee, Charles Gray, Nike Arrighi, Leon Greene

Votes: 10,274

religious, mystery

8/10

Satanists and Christians battle one another in a game of ping-pong, using Simon and the girl as balls.

SPOILERS

The bulk of the movie is Simon and the girl getting kidnapped, de-kidnapped, kidnapped, de-kidnapped etc. It's almost like a Tom & Jerry cartoon, except that souls are at stake instead of a piece of cheese or a fresh mouse.

In order for the two battling sides to lose Simon and the girl so often, there needed to be many questionable plot-devices. For example, the way Rex leaves the woman in the car alone, which I found to be perplexingly idiotic. Even a child suffering from ADD could easily predict that she'll run away with the car. To make things even more slapstick-like, Rex manages to AGAIN lose her, when he falls asleep, like the clod that he is. Hey, it's only the soul of your new-found love that is at stake here, Rex! No need to skip a nap because of THAT.

You can read the entire review here:

https://www.imdb.com/review/rw2539692/?ref_=tt_urv

First Viewing: 2011

75. After (I) (2012)

PG-13 | 90 min | Drama, Fantasy, Horror

When two bus crash survivors awake to discover that they are the only people left in their town, they work together to unravel the truth behind the strange events.

Director: Ryan Whitaker | Stars: Steven Strait, Karolina Wydra, Madison Lintz, Sandra Ellis Lafferty

Votes: 6,037

sci-fi, mystery

8/10

Strengths: premise, mood

Weaknesses: the big reveal

Those perpetually stoned and dumbed-down IMDb voters gave this a fairly mediocre rating (despite a low number of votes), and even on RYM it's underrated and ignored. Everyone knows that IMDb is a place where thousands of bots hype new big-budget movies by giving them exorbitant averages that make a mockery of the democratic voting process, and nobody with a sane perspective trusts those ratings too much. (In fact, the higher a rating, the likelier that the movie stinks - this especially goes for recent movies.)

I have absolutely no clue why an entertaining fantasy with so many twists and turns - not to mention a nice setting, fun premise, and originality - is so disliked by people. Perhaps horror fans have finally devolved to the amoeba state, whereby they can only understand "Centipede V", they can only crave for "Saw VIII" and cannot do without Rob Zombie films about how underappreciated sadism and serial-killers are?

That must be it. Please don't trust what the herd says. My ratings are the law.

The premise is wonderful. Sure, there has been a fair amount of movies playing with the notion of reality in the past few decades, but they're still quite rare, especially compared to how many generic romcoms there are, dumb comedies, idiotic thrillers, or tirelessly predictable slasher flicks. So to criticize movies from this innovative, as-yet-unnamed sub-genre (let's call it the "what's real" fantasy) for minor flaws is to nit-pick at all the wrong places. (Sort of the way a Nazi sympathizer might point out to moral imperfections of someone working for the Red Cross while hailing the "virtues" of Hitler and his cohorts.)

The one flaw that's a bit annoying is that the two hook up despite the fact that the guy killed her aunt, when he was an Emo-hair-wearing little brat. In fact, ending up in the wheelchair was light punishment considering what the little turd had done when he was a kid. That woman was burned alive - and then spent a year in a coma! Bloody hell, almost like a twist/scene from a Freddy Krueger film, which is ironic coz that's the character's name. Still, it ties in neatly with some of the other stuff, not leaving any loose ends, which I was half-expecting to be the case. With these kinds of films, the more entangled a plot becomes, the more exponentially the chances rise that little or not enough will make sense at the story wrap-up. So, yes, logically speaking the movie is pretty solid.

The atmosphere is good. The notion of huge black clouds encroaching on a desolate city in some unknown dimension should please any sci-fi fan. Horror fans perhaps not so much: as I said, modern horror fans (especially the younger ones) tend to be increasingly sexually frustrated nerds looking for sadistic flicks in which toothless hicks cut off an innocent dyevochka's limbs one by one - just because they ain't getting any. Kids, if you're not getting any just download free porn! No need to hate women so much and have to watch them being butchered, just coz you can't raise your peckers, not even with your Jedi powers. Bloody hell, nerds they are amassing and they're pissed! Just look at the rise of hipsterism: all of them nerds, of some type or another. No politician is addressing the rising nerd problem and that's becoming really annoying. And I don't mean the good-natured nerd, I mean the mean-spirited, vengeful, sociopathic nerds that are running amok in the West.

Downer ending: yes

First Viewing: 2016

76. Eden Log (2007)

R | 98 min | Drama, Horror, Mystery

A man wakes up in an underground cave, next to a dead body. He has no memory of how he got there and starts to try and work his way to the surface and escape from the network of tunnels, which seem to be some kind of ancient civilisation.

Director: Franck Vestiel | Stars: Clovis Cornillac, Vimala Pons, Zohar Wexler, Sifan Shao

Votes: 6,847

sci-fi, mystery, dystopian, french

8/10

First Viewing: 2011

77. We Go On (2016)

Not Rated | 90 min | Drama, Horror, Mystery

Miles Grissom offers $30,000 to the first person who can prove to him that we go on after death.

Directors: Jesse Holland, Andy Mitton | Stars: Annette O'Toole, Clark Freeman, John Glover, Giovanna Zacarías

Votes: 4,886

drama, mystery

8/10

From the team that gave us the vastly underrated "YellowBrickRoad", this time a less gloomy movie (which isn't saying much), and (even) more original.

Also quite unpredictable. The story moves in sections, and just when you think you can predict what comes next, you get it wrong. My kind of movie.

Interesting themes handled with intelligent dialog, even if the acting isn't top-notch. The cast is OK, but certainly the acting is possibly the only weak link, but not in a big way by any means.

Posted.

Downer ending: no...

First Viewing: 2020

78. Shrooms (2007)

Not Rated | 84 min | Comedy, Horror, Mystery

A group of friends are stalked and murdered whilst looking for psilocybin mushrooms in the Irish woods.

Director: Paddy Breathnach | Stars: Lindsey Haun, Jack Huston, Max Kasch, Maya Hazen

Votes: 17,678 | Gross: $0.00M

teen, slasher, forest

8/10

Strengths: annoys hipsters when they see it on this list, story

Weaknesses: mediocre young cast, shitty intro, stereotypical characters

Never let a blonde walk through an Irish forest alone. Get her a babysitter.

SPOILERS

Six young people of dubious parentage go into a "shroom camping trip", hoping to get their already shriveled-down brains wasted even more by cooking mushrooms and listening to each other's dumb dialogue, while being surrounded by drooling inbreds - Irish locals who molest sheep and bulls (by their own admition), but who make admittedly good jokes about telephones. The usual stereotypes: the jock, the slut (and you just know they'll be dead meat before the others), the expedition leader (a mushrooms expert in this case), a blonde, and a couple of other morons whose faces and deeds I already forgot. They are all 20somethings, but I guess they're meant to be teens. "Hi, my name is Bill, and I'm twenty-fiveteen years old." As night falls, the Irish leader decides to tell the others of a strange forest tale full of sadism and twins who exact revenge by making the intended target stronger than before. You see, the grieving twin planned to get even for the murder of his brother by cooking up superhumanstrengthinducing mushrooms to the psycho and letting him eat it, with the result that the murderer goes on a 78-people killing spree. Glad to see the "teens" aren't the only morons in the script...

You can read the entire review here:

https://www.imdb.com/review/rw2130790/?ref_=tt_urv

Downer ending: yes

First Viewing: 2009

79. Paperhouse (1988)

PG-13 | 92 min | Drama, Fantasy

A young girl lost in the loneliness and boredom of reality finds solace in an ill boy, whom she can visit in a surreal dream world that she drew in her school composition book.

Director: Bernard Rose | Stars: Charlotte Burke, Jane Bertish, Samantha Cahill, Glenne Headly

Votes: 6,286 | Gross: $0.24M

kids, mystery, drama

8/10

Coming from the same director who'd done "Immortal Beloved", I'm not surprised it's a good film. Ironically, "Papierhaus" is a movie I'd never heard of until now (2008), yet it must be one of the best movies of the late 80s - partly by default, because that is hands down the worst movie period in recent decades. (Not talking about Iranian or Polish "cinema" here... or 21st-century western garbage. It's a given that 21st-century cinema is an accelerated downward spiral.)

The acting is not brilliant, but merely solid - unlike what some people here claim (they must have dreamt this "wondrous acting", much like Anna). The boy is OK but nothing special, though the girl is competent for her age, and has a certain unusual charisma; she looks different. Hence a very good choice. The adults are unimpressive, even though I like both women here (Headly and Jones): they had their better moments in other films.

An interesting fantasy that doesn't end in a clever way that ties all the loose ends together neatly. The script is a bit messy. These unanswered questions are probably(?) left there on purpose, leaving it up to the individual's interpretation, and there's nothing wrong with that with a theme such as this.

It isn't clear at all why the girl's father became the villain, that makes no sense. Nor is it explained why the girl never simply ASKED Gemma Jones whether she can go and visit the boy - in real life. Or at least phone him up while she was bed-ridden.

"Pepperhaus" is a somewhat unusual mix of kids' film and horror, with effective use of sounds and music. I like the fact that the central character is not your typical movie-cliché ultra-shy-but-secretly-brilliant social-outcast girl, but a regular, normal kid; very refreshing. In fact, the opening scene defines her as assertive and confident, which totally goes against the dumb cliche that EVERY such young protagonist must be alienated, withdrawn, and borderline suicidal. (I absolutely hate that.) I am sick and tired of writers projecting their own misfit-like childhoods into their books and onto the screens, as if anyone cares anymore to watch or read about yet another miserly, lonely childhood, as if that's all there is or as if that kind of character background holds a monopoly on good potential or "genius". What baloney!

The scene with Anna and the boy "snogging" was a bit much - evoking feelings of both vague disgust and amusement - considering that she was supposed to be only 11, but predictably it turned out that Burke was 13 or 14 when this was filmed. I have no idea why they didn't upgrade the character's age or get a younger actress. It was quite obvious that Burke isn't that young, but this is a very minor point.

https://www.imdb.com/review/rw1848243/?ref_=tt_urv

Downer ending: more yes than no

Viewings: 2008, 2023

80. Cube²: Hypercube (2002)

R | 94 min | Horror, Mystery, Sci-Fi

Eight strangers awaken with no memory, in a puzzling cube-shaped room where the laws of physics do not always apply.

Director: Andrzej Sekula | Stars: Kari Matchett, Geraint Wyn Davies, Grace Lynn Kung, Matthew Ferguson

Votes: 70,414

sci-fi, mystery, mono-setting

8/10

Strengths: sets, special effects, premise, story

Weaknesses: blonde seems to fake her intentions to the audience which is dumb, a blind 20 year-old girl designed the cube - very stupid plot-twist, brunette bad actress, dumb ending

The government is always out to kill you. Didn't you know that?

The tradition of weak dialogue and superficial characters is continued, unfortunately, as these two things were the "only" drawbacks in the otherwise very good first movie. However, C2 contains something that is rarely seen in sci-fi movies, and that is the application of very interesting scientific theories from real physics (as opposed to "cartoon physics"). As a result, the movie has surprisingly good and even thought-provoking moments – especially strange because this is in such stark contrast to the pedestrian dialogue/writing. The visual look of C2 is not as good as that of "Cube" though; the rooms are all white, see. (That's a director struggling with the budget.)

You can read the entire review here:

https://www.imdb.com/review/rw1868009/?ref_=tt_urv

Downer ending: yes

First Viewing: 2005 (twice)

81. The House That Dripped Blood (1971)

PG | 102 min | Drama, Fantasy, Horror

55 Metascore

An anthology of four horror stories revolving around a mysterious rental house in the U.K.

Director: Peter Duffell | Stars: John Bryans, John Bennett, Denholm Elliott, Peter Cushing

Votes: 7,513

anthology

8/10

SPOILERS

THTDB is such a visually well-made haunted-house flick, that even if it had been awfully written it would have been easily watchable. Unfortunately, even though modern horror films are generally more effective than these 60s and 70s UK Hammer flicks, there is little effort being put into making them look nice.

In the final scene, the fat bald guy who'd been renting the house out turns to the audience and says: "Haven't you guessed it? The house reflects the personality of the person who lives in it and treats him accordingly." I'd beg to differ.

You can read the entire review here:

https://www.imdb.com/review/rw2536451/?ref_=tt_urv

First Viewing: 2011

82. Grimm Love (2006)

R | 87 min | Crime, Drama, Horror

In Germany, as graduate student Katie Armstrong researches cannibal killer Oliver Hagen for her thesis, she becomes obsessed with her subject and ultimately plunges into a lifestyle similar to Hagen's and the thousands of people like him.

Director: Martin Weisz | Stars: Thomas Kretschmann, Keri Russell, Thomas Huber, Rainier Meissner

Votes: 3,602

aka ROHTENBURG

drama, biography, cannibal

8/10

Based on the real case of whassisname, a German lunatic who found a willing victim on the internet to be eaten by him. Mind-boggling stuff, the sort of thing you can't make up. The "premise" is so far out that if it hadn't been about real events, most people, including me, would have condemned it as far-fetched nonsense. Dark and unpleasant but fascinating.

My other review:

https://www.imdb.com/review/rw1718828/?ref_=tt_urv

Downer ending: yes, nothing upper about this film at all

First Viewing: 2007

83. Juan of the Dead (2011)

Not Rated | 92 min | Action, Comedy, Horror

A group of slackers face an army of zombies. The Cuban government and media claim the living dead are dissidents revolting against the government.

Director: Alejandro Brugués | Stars: Alexis Díaz de Villegas, Jorge Molina, Andros Perugorría, Andrea Duro

Votes: 10,995 | Gross: $0.02M

zombapocalypse, comedy, spanish

8/10

A Cuban-Spanish film that is a refreshing diversion from the usual zombie comedies, most of which are sub-par. For one thing, it takes place in Havana, which in itself offers something different from the usual London- or NY- based horror comedies. For another, the main characters are flawed, which makes them much more suitable for various inspired gags. Strangely enough, most of the best stuff is in the first half-hour when the zombies only play second fiddle. Once the carnage starts the movie isn't as funny or as enjoyable, although still easily watchable and with some highlights. The movie also doesn't suffer from the bland, colourless look of modern - western - horror/thriller/sci-fi films but instead offers vibrant colours, making it look like a jump back in time.

It's surprising that the average isn't lower considering the fact that the vast majority of film-goers are left-winger who support Castro and his commie regime. This is definitely not how Michael Moore or Oliver Stone would have written it. Or how hipsters like their horror comedies.

My lengthier IMDb review:

https://www.imdb.com/review/rw2726859/?ref_=tt_urv

First Viewing: 2012

84. The Vault of Horror (1973)

R | 87 min | Horror, Thriller

An anthology of five horror stories shared by five men trapped in the basement of an office building.

Director: Roy Ward Baker | Stars: Curd Jürgens, Terry-Thomas, Tom Baker, Dawn Addams

Votes: 6,264

anthology

8/10

3 and a half out of 5 are evil.

An interesting horror anthology, with a more original approach than other similar movies.

SPOILERS

"Midnight Mess" is a slightly odd story with a fun vampiric twist.

"The Neat Job" sticks out from all five for the simple reason that it doesn't have an evil protagonist who snuffs it, hence the only real flaw TVOH has. Terry-Thomas gets killed by his wife, his only "sin" having been that he occasionally lost his temper when she misplaced things around the house or wasn't neat enough. That's hardly a reason to throw him in the same egg-basket with the other four guys.

An (un)intentionally amusing bit was when Terry-Thomas's "young wife" shows up. None other than Glynis Johns! Aged 50 anno 1973. Terry-Thomas was 62 years old, i.e. not exactly a large age difference (especially in movie la-la-land), thereby certainly not a case of a dirty-old-man plucking an innocent dyevochka straight from her crib. It's bizarre that we were set up for a young, trophy wife (or something of that nature, after all it's his friend's daughter he's married), but then we get this woman way past her youthful days. My question to the producers/writers: did you do this as a gag, or did you actually believe Johns, cute as she was even at that age, could possibly pass off as "young Eleanor"? Goofier yet, she is referred to as "young" by a man nearly half her age, and this is done without a speck of sarcasm.

You can read the entire review here:

https://www.imdb.com/review/rw2549017/?ref_=tt_urv

First Viewing: 2012

85. Something Wicked This Way Comes (1983)

PG | 95 min | Fantasy, Mystery, Thriller

68 Metascore

In a small American town, a diabolical circus and its demonic proprietor prey on the townsfolk.

Director: Jack Clayton | Stars: Mary Grace Canfield, Richard Davalos, Jake Dengel, Jack Dodson

Votes: 10,624 | Gross: $8.40M

kids, satanic, based on novel

8/10

Something Non-Stephen-Kingsian This Way Comes.

The devil-comes-to-town premise is one that Stephen King has practically built half his smelly career on. He has used it – or shall we say "ripped it off" – from Bradbury (and others) and turned it into countless formulaic stories and novels. Satan comes to a small town to wreck havoc, and it's always the same shticks, over and over, at least when it comes to his drivel.

There are, however, worlds between how an intelligent, skillful writer such as Bradbury treated this idea and how a commercial, fluff-for-the-masses mediocrity such as King does. SWTWC is a moody, subtle, enjoyable take on the subject. King treats this type of story (his favourite story) with much more pomp, clichés, and very exaggerated and annoying small-town stereotypes – most of which reveal this left-winger's barely hidden resentment towards small-town folk (and people in general; perhaps he's just frustrated that nearly all of us are much prettier than him). King wrote these kinds of stories with the primary intention of dragging small-town America through the mud, because - as every good Marxist - he detests the success of democracy and Capitalism, and nothing annoys him more than religious folk. (I am an atheist myself, and yet I do not hate believers the way King does.) No such pathetic, sociopathic, misanthropic tendencies are to be found in SWTWC.

You can read the entire review here:

https://www.imdb.com/review/rw2722395/?ref_=tt_urv

Downer ending: no

Viewings: 90s, 2012

86. Hostel (2005)

R | 94 min | Horror

55 Metascore

Three backpackers head to a Slovak city that promises to meet their hedonistic expectations, with no idea of the hell that awaits them.

Director: Eli Roth | Stars: Jay Hernandez, Derek Richardson, Eythor Gudjonsson, Barbara Nedeljakova

Votes: 191,071 | Gross: $47.33M

thriller, sadistic, non-supernatural

8/10

Slowakians must love this sadistic thriller.

A slow, boring first half-hour but then the shit hits the fan in a thrilling way. Not for the squeamish.

It's hard for me to give this movie a rating. I am torn between 9 stars and 2 stars. This is possibly the most depraved, nightmarish, most sickening horror film I've ever seen. Except that even I'm not sure whether that makes it an excellent film or a piece of s*** that would've been better left unmade.

However, I shouldn't have been too surprised by such unhinged sadism; after "Saw" had such success, I should've known that irresponsible sadism-for-the-sake-of-it would hit its stride in horror. (Not that there wasn't any before…) But while "Saw" is supremely idiotic and utterly logic-free, "Hostel" is not nearly as far-fetched (though that isn't saying much, actually, "Saw" being so INCREDIBLY absurd). There is no question that a criminal (soft word here) operation such as pay-to-torture is not only realistic, but could even already exist in some form. To criticize the movie on the basis of its basic premise I'll leave to the reality-challenged. What IS far-fetched to the point of ludicrousness is that such a crime net would involve such a large number of people, practically an entire town, and perhaps even the whole state of Slovakia – in this case; I'm not sure if that was implied or not.

Ah, yes… The Slovakians must be thrilled about this movie. Needless to say, it's probably banned there, and Elli Roth, the writer-director, is probably at the top of everyone's s***list. And here's the other point about the premise: it would've been far more realistic if set in some African or especially South American country. While a solid choice if the choices were limited to Europe, Slovakia is hardly an ideal pick. As for Europe: Russia, Ukraine, Byelorussia… All those would have done. However, Paraguay or Bolivia, or some such semi-developed country would've been more realistic (though I admit a little less effective). Since the movie is out for realism and not fantasy, I think the protagonist's escape is ludicrous. Sure, the movie would've been even tougher to watch if there hadn't been a good dose of revenge at the end, but the escape was too easy – relatively speaking.

The sadism itself is self-indulgent and clearly stemming from a sick mind. Elli Roth can talk all he wants about wanting to make a truly frightening film (which he succeeded in, no argument there) and that he researched for it, bla-bla-bla, but the bottom line is that Roth is a mental patient, just as those clowns who did "Saw" are. Kids will watch this, and they shouldn't. Hell, even I shouldn't be watching such sickening depravity! There is no real point to the movie, except on the dumbest level i.e. "don't go backpacking to remote places or make friends with strangers or have sex with Russian girls whose breasts are too good to be true". The film is a sheer exercise in the most degenerate kind of enjoyment in physical torture, and should be enjoyed only by psychopaths, sociopaths and other "paths".

I am anything but a proponent of the "Golden Age" of film. i.e. the naïve, boring, formulaic 30s and 40s conveyor-belt big studio era (with its mostly dull and silly movies), but it is interesting to compare 30s "Dracula" with something like this. How far has it all gone? Or: how low has the world sunk? Never mind that the movie is fascinating and unforgettable: so are train-wrecks and snuff films, but that doesn't mean we should have them and enjoy them. Trust Tarantino, the prototype of a misanthropic 90s geek, to give this thing his blessing. The fact that someone as childish as him spearheads modern US cinema is truly sad. Leading directors of the past were hardly intellectuals, but next to Quentin they were gods. This little nerd, who so perversely and gleefully enjoys sadism and torture, would scream like not one but 38 little girls if a psychopath so much as said "hello" to him. People like him need a reality check. To treat torture porn as a form of mindless entertainment is a sign of high retardation and the moral sense of a lizard. That is why I've always called him an "idiot savant", a moron genius. Talented, but utterly vacuous, no substance there.

Visually, the movie is highly effective. Roth is clearly talented. The chamber scenes are unbelievably somber, and compliments for not directing them in the MTV style which would have made it all less effective because less realistic. The atmosphere Roth creates in the dungeons is uniquely brilliant. A drawback, which I nearly forgot considering the other aspects, is that the movie takes a half-hour to get started, which I hate in horror films. (I believe in the "Evil Dead" school of horror-film-making where no minute is wasted.)

https://www.imdb.com/review/rw1561004/?ref_=tt_urv

Downer ending: no, if I'm not mistaken

First Viewing: 2006

87. Altered States (1980)

R | 102 min | Horror, Sci-Fi, Thriller

58 Metascore

A psycho-physiologist experiments with drugs and a sensory-deprivation tank and has visions he believes are genetic memories.

Director: Ken Russell | Stars: William Hurt, Blair Brown, Bob Balaban, Charles Haid

Votes: 38,660 | Gross: $19.85M

sci-fi, medical experiments

8/10

No tortured artists this time around...

The same people who are mocking Hurt's transformation into an ape are most probably the same nitwits who consider the "Planet Of The Apes" serial as the height of sci-fi achievement. In other words, those people have confused the quality apes with the mere silly apes. Admittedly, the ape-going-bananas scenes are the least convincing in AS, but they serve the story, so what the hell... They're still far better and more logical than watching a huge gorilla climb tall NY buildings while getting excited over a tiny blond bimbo.

You can read the entire review here:

https://www.imdb.com/review/rw1964059/?ref_=tt_urv

Viewings: 1989 & 2008

88. The Broken (2008)

R | 93 min | Drama, Horror, Thriller

After seeing herself drive down the street, Radiologist Gina McVey unravels a mystery centered around a broken mirror.

Director: Sean Ellis | Stars: Lena Headey, Ulrich Thomsen, Melvil Poupaud, Michelle Duncan

Votes: 11,304

body snatchers, thriller, sci-fi

7/10

Where do all the corpses go?

"Invasion of the Body Snatchers" meets "The Twilight Zone" (episode "Mirror Image"), but this is not necessarily a bad thing. While it doesn't cover much new ground, it does offer several unusual moments.

For the typical horror film fan, who expects buckets of red paint to pour out of at least 83 body crevices in every other scene, this might be a dull and uneventful film. However, the tension is built up nicely, and the plot twist at the end does genuinely surprise, offering a whole new way of looking at the invaders.

You can read the entire review here:

https://www.imdb.com/review/rw2222405/?ref_=tt_urv

First Viewing: 2010

89. Asylum (I) (1972)

PG | 88 min | Horror

65 Metascore

In order to secure a job at a mental institution, a young psychiatrist must interview four patients inside the asylum.

Director: Roy Ward Baker | Stars: Barbara Parkins, Richard Todd, Sylvia Syms, Peter Cushing

Votes: 8,183

anthology

7/10

Viewings: 2003, 2014

90. Sweeney Todd (2006 TV Movie)

90 min | Crime, Drama, Horror

A BBC adaptation of the Victorian "penny dreadful" tale of 18th century "demon barber" Sweeney Todd, of Fleet Street, who cuts the throats of unsuspecting clients in his London shop.

Director: David Moore | Stars: Ray Winstone, Essie Davis, David Warner, Tom Hardy

Votes: 3,375

drama, non-supernatural, historical, crime, cannibal, TV

7/10

I knew nothing about "Sweeney Todd", the former versions, the basic plot, not even what genre of movie it was - when I pressed "play" - and that's the best way often to watch a movie, especially in an age when you see a million scenes in previews hence feeling as if though you'd already seen the damned thing.

Superior to Burton's piece of crap version on every conceivable level. Although a TV movie, you'd never guess it had a low(er) budget. Unusual story, very good performances. Essie Davis is bloody purrty - unlike that little dwarf that Burton married; the one he sticks into every one of his damn films, the nepotistic little entitled brat with very little talent and even worse looks.

You can read the entire review here:

https://www.imdb.com/review/rw1721025/?ref_=tt_urv

First Viewing: 2007

91. Dawn of the Dead (2004)

R | 101 min | Action, Horror

59 Metascore

A nurse, a policeman, a young married couple, a salesman and other survivors of a worldwide plague that is producing aggressive, flesh-eating zombies, take refuge in a mega Midwestern shopping mall.

Director: Zack Snyder | Stars: Sarah Polley, Ving Rhames, Mekhi Phifer, Jake Weber

Votes: 272,615 | Gross: $59.02M

zombapocalypse, sprinting zombies

7/10

A terrific first half-hour unfortunately gives way to a slower pace and some nonsense but overall it's entertaining and what's also important - the movie does have colour (not a given in grey-looking modern horrors and thrillers).

First Viewing: 2006

92. Rubber (2010)

R | 82 min | Comedy, Fantasy, Horror

59 Metascore

A homicidal car tire, discovering it has destructive psionic power, sets its sights on a desert town once a mysterious woman becomes its obsession.

Director: Quentin Dupieux | Stars: Stephen Spinella, Roxane Mesquida, Wings Hauser, Jack Plotnick

Votes: 40,342 | Gross: $0.10M

splatter, comedy, surreal

7/10

No porn scenes for Mesquida this time.

A rubber spins and spins, wrecking havoc. A bizarre little film that goes on strange tangents.

I was a little worried, frankly, when the director listed such overrated cinematic turds through the cop, junk such as "E.T"., "The Pianist", "JFK", and "Love Story", referring to them as "great movies". Fortunately, sometimes people with crap influences can produce great things. While "Rubber" isn't great, it's certainly quite good, and a helluva lot better than all the above flicks combined. I'd rather be one of those audience members in the desert, watching a tire take a shower, then starve, and then get poisoned by a film-production nerd, than have to sit through these truly awful movies again.

You can read the entire review here:

https://www.imdb.com/review/rw2536933/?ref_=tt_urv

First Viewing: 2011

93. Highway to Hell (1991)

R | 94 min | Adventure, Comedy, Fantasy

An eloping bride is taken into Hell, and her fiancé must pursue.

Director: Ate de Jong | Stars: Patrick Bergin, Adam Storke, Chad Lowe, Kristy Swanson

Votes: 5,439

demonic, comedy

7/10

Most of the movie takes place in Hell, which is what makes this such a fun film. Watch Ben Stiller be unfunny in an early small role.

Downer ending: no

First Viewing: 1996 (twice)

94. The Void (I) (2016)

Not Rated | 90 min | Horror, Mystery, Sci-Fi

62 Metascore

Shortly after delivering a patient to an understaffed hospital, a police officer experiences strange and violent occurrences seemingly linked to a group of mysterious hooded figures.

Directors: Jeremy Gillespie, Steven Kostanski | Stars: Aaron Poole, Kenneth Welsh, Ellen Wong, Kathleen Munroe

Votes: 41,713 | Gross: $0.15M

sci-fi, remote location, medical experiments, lovecraftian, mutants mystery, demonic, splatter, satanic cult, mono-setting

7/10

A fairly dark, morbid, gory flick that should please fans of "Hellraiser" and 80s horror, an era when retarded teens weren't the main characters in every single horror film. But that's just one example; there are other notable movies that one can recognize as influence, especially Carpenter's films. (Yes, I threw that in on purpose, to excite the hipsters, because they sure love their Carpenter - for whatever strange reason.)

There are several unanswered questions, but judging from the last scene this was obviously the intention. Anyone who expects the story to be completely resolved, as in a basic detective cops and robbers story, will not be pleased with this. Besides, with this kind of theme there can't be a neatly wrapped up plot, that's just the nature of movies of this sort. The only minus might be the somewhat stereotypical characters, plus some dragging just before the big finale; the plot should have moved a little quicker at that point.

On the other hand, thumbs up for getting on with the plot from the very start: this isn't one of those horror films that take a half-hour to get going. More horror directors need to learn not to bore their viewers with vapid introductory dialog that is usually a shoddy build-up to the action that ensues.

Downer ending: neither downer nor upper

First Viewings: 2017, 2022

95. Final Destination (2000)

R | 98 min | Horror, Thriller

39 Metascore

After getting a premonition about a plane crash on his school trip, Alex, a student saves a few of his classmates. However, their situation gets complicated when death starts chasing them.

Director: James Wong | Stars: Devon Sawa, Ali Larter, Kerr Smith, Kristen Cloke

Votes: 279,701 | Gross: $53.33M

mystery, teen, curse

7/10

A minor SPOILER here.

A very good premise that gradually - and inevitably - drifts into teen horror film territory. I say inevitably because there is a group of teens involved so obviously there can be no long-term seriousness. Still, I was a little surprised just how non-seriously the movie ends. When one compares the excellent beginning with the ridiculous horror/comedy ending, it is like looking at two different movies.

It's a pity that the premise wasn't taken and "assigned" to a cast of adults, i.e. that a "serious" horror film wasn't made. Nevertheless, FD is never dull; even the obviously weaker second half. The flight disaster scenes are terrific, the murder scenes are very good, and there is real interest as to what is going to happen next, in spite of a premonition that the conclusion can't and won't be satisfactory. The conclusion is almost like a mockery of all the previous happenings (the movie turns from horror into the horror comedy genre).

Easily the dumbest scene, however, isn't the ending but the way the aggressive teen turns around his car to beat up the movie's main hero, and nearly kills the bicycle-driving teen - while completely ignoring the fact that he nearly killed him and caused an accident! That was really, really dumb.

https://www.imdb.com/review/rw1744256/?ref_=tt_urv

First Viewing: 2003

96. Puppet Master (1989 Video)

R | 90 min | Fantasy, Horror, Sci-Fi

Psychics find themselves plotted against by a former colleague, who committed suicide after discovering animated, murderous puppets.

Director: David Schmoeller | Stars: Paul Le Mat, William Hickey, Irene Miracle, Jimmie F. Skaggs

Votes: 12,793

evil puppets, sadistic

7/10

Surprisingly violent for a puppet movie. The little bastards look and behave weird. This is the first and easily best in the serial, and the least low-budget of the bunch. A nice little main theme too.

The sequels are strictly Z-grade productions, at least the 3-4 that are on this list.

First Viewing: 1991 (3-4 times)

97. Long Weekend (1978)

Not Rated | 97 min | Horror, Mystery, Thriller

61 Metascore

When a suburban couple go camping for the weekend at a remote beach, they discover that nature isn't in an accommodating mood.

Director: Colin Eggleston | Stars: John Hargreaves, Briony Behets, Mike McEwen, Roy Day

Votes: 6,136

mystery, remote location, drama

7/10

Strengths: mood, suspense, scenery, originality

Weaknesses: predictable that he'd commit spousicide by shooting or harpooning her

Nature vs man (or a couple in this case). Kind of like "Birds" but more intelligent and stylish. If you're used to Disney versions of nature and critters, this might not be for you.

Downer ending: yes from the couple's perspective, no from nature's perspective

Viewings: 80s, 2020

98. Deep Dark (2015)

79 min | Fantasy, Horror

An aspiring sculptor falls in love with a talking hole in the wall when it starts to produce award winning art.

Director: Michael Medaglia | Stars: Sean McGrath, Anne Sorce, Denise Poirier, Tabor Helton

Votes: 2,670

semi-comedy, surreal, splatter

7/10

A very original flick with a premise that is almost wholly unique. Plus, the plot is mostly unpredictable, which is refreshing. Fun, too; no heavy-duty moments in this black comedy. It's not a goofy all-out comedy, just so you know not to expect belly laughs or plenty of clowning around.

The story is about a left-wing loser millennial with no talent but who fancies himself an "artist". (Sounds familiar, huh? I bet you know at least several dozens of those.) His uncle rents out a flat to him that he promises will inspire him. What happens from there is quite weird and entertaining.

https://www.imdb.com/review/rw5958787/?ref_=tt_urv

Downer ending: sort of

First Viewing: 2017

99. The Haunting (1963)

G | 112 min | Horror

74 Metascore

Hill House has stood for about 90 years and appears haunted: its inhabitants have always met strange, tragic ends. Now Dr. John Markway has assembled a team of people who he thinks will prove whether or not the house is haunted.

Director: Robert Wise | Stars: Julie Harris, Claire Bloom, Richard Johnson, Russ Tamblyn

Votes: 42,506 | Gross: $2.62M

haunted building

7/10

Strengths: story, mood, visuals, setting

Weaknesses: Claire Bloom's character behaves oddly/stupidly on occasion

Downer ending: it's up to the viewer to decide

First Viewing: 1995 (twice)

100. From Beyond the Grave (1974)

PG | 97 min | Drama, Fantasy, Horror

An anthology of four short horror stories revolving around a mysterious antique shop owner and his antique pieces, each of which hides a deadly secret.

Director: Kevin Connor | Stars: Peter Cushing, Ian Bannen, Ian Carmichael, Diana Dors

Votes: 5,300

anthology

7/10

First Viewing: 2001



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